John: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Joseph: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam: A realist sees a freight train.
Paul : The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
Sam: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
John: And here we have a capitalist.
Joseph: Did you just-
Paul : Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
Joseph: *running towards John with open arms*
John: *moves out of the way*
Joseph: Hey, why'd you move?!
John: I thought you were going to attack me.
Joseph: I was going to hug you!
John: Why would you hug me?
Joseph: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?