no one has ever told me how similar grief is to falling in love. a numbness so absolute i can’t tell if i’m at the highest high or the lowest low.
the higher i rise above it, the more my cynics sharpen their knives.
i was a precocious child. it’s a curse.
if i showed you all my dark, im afraid you’d never be able to see my light again.
if you hurt me, i’ll walk away as easy as i walked in.
i am completely fine cleaning up my own mess.
i saw an entire life with you as soon as we met.
i could recognize your darkness a million miles away.
for the first time i am completely fine in my own.
i barely survived being everything but your lover.
i think the prophecy is wrong. there is no way the universe would torture me this humorously.
when you come home and hold me, my anger and rage is soothed, and i am not a mad woman, but i am your happy wife.
i miss you when i wake up, i miss you when im washing my hair, i miss you while i make breakfast, i miss you on the drive to work, i miss you while my boss drones on and on, i miss you while the birds chirp at lunch, i miss you when i get home, i miss you when i shower, i miss you when im in bed because you’re supposed to be there. but you’re not anymore.
i’m so proud of you.
everything is green again. like the earth is taking its first deep breath since the winter.
i’ve only ever seen a man as temporary. but with you, i can see my entire life fall perfectly into place.
i’m so sick of sadness.
you can just talk and i’ll listen to you for years.
you see me and i can see the biggest smile plastered on your face just from my presence.
i love you calmly, peacefully, and fully.
you come back into my life like a lifeline every time i’m falling for someone new.
the worst sadness i’ve ever felt was grieving you while you were still very much alive.
march’s last day feels far too unsettling. like the end of an era. the end of you.
i pine from a distance for once.
any type of feelings i had for you ran out the door and locked it.
i always end up falling out of love when i finally realize it was only lust.
“i am a good person,” i start. the entire crowd erupts into laughter. because they know it is a joke. they know who i truly am.
our eyes lock, and your breath hitches, and my mouth is a magnet pulling pulling pulling me to you.
i know that one day you’ll be a distant memory, but right now our love is as bright as the dawn.
even if we go down in the biggest flames the world has ever seen, i won’t for a second regret stoking the fire.