ayaya ayaya
hello erwin, i hope you're well! may i please request reader (with a personality like hu tao/ei) who's dreadful at cooking trying to make something with whichever three characters you think would be funniest?
i've been thinking of this for a while and thought it would be really funny- i feel like cooking with a short tempered character or another character who's bad at cooking would be hilarious, but i'm curious to hear what you think! hope you have a good day :)
-🐈⬛
I am, thanks; I hope you're well too, and have a good day as well 😊 Considering the nature of this request, I shall try a different layout... although, I wasn't inspired in the same way for each of them, I hope you will like it still 🤔
Oh boy...
Upon hearing about this kind of event, Yae Miko asked to assist you two
Officially, to be the judge who will taste the results (her sacrifice shall be remembered) but officiously, it's just to enjoy the show
Ei will be glad to have some social time with someone like her
The two of you decided to attempt preparing some Tricolor Dango Balls, hoping that a favourite snack would be more motivating, thus with higher chances of success
The result was... anything but that, not just because of the potato shapes, but also due to the, somehow, identical color for each of them
... and the lack of noticeable taste
At least, it doesn't look nor smell too much like poison
In any case, judge Yae Miko could still ask a certain Gorou to taste-try instead, as a gesture of "apology" for all the past teasing he got from her
When it comes to Hu Tao, you will naturally go along very well with her too, like with Ei
As for Ayato, it will be an original type of break from work
He's used to playing Genius Invokation TCG with Itto anyway, so he won't mind another form of curious... "originality"
They will both help you, even using your lack of knowledge as inspiration to try something new
Then will come the time to have a taste of the result... well, more like finding a guinea pig
It would be more fun interesting to receive exterior feedback, after all
Ayato naturally thought about Thoma (it wouldn't be the first nor last time)
As for Hu Tao, well... how about going for a stroll through Liyue Harbor? Surely there's a merchant out there in need of some mood boost, after losing a commercial contract to a competitor
They won't question how it's possible, they will instead selflessly teach you, all the while cooking the food at the same time, with patience and words of encouragement
Your bubbly reactions will be payment enough for them, making them feel pleased to have helped you
In the end, you'll enjoy the food together and they will invite you for another time
If never you believed that being dreadful at cooking was unusual, wait until you witness in person the ingredients used by Xiangling
It will help you put things into perspective
If she can cook something tasty without following the commonly-accepted culinary norms, then it means that you, too, can do it!
After seeing the non-negligible room for improvement you possess though... she suggested you to be her assistant instead, for this time
This way, she could show you now, and next time you'd do some practice (... with her help still)
You know, straight from the start, that it won't happen with ideal conditions
Not that he wouldn't help you, quite the contrary, the mood will be cheerful and optimistic despite all odds
It's just that the labels on the recipients he brought are gone... after he found himself dripping wet from falling in a lake... startled by one of Timmie's pigeons... trying to survive one more extra day
At some point, you wondered if this recipient was full of salt or baking soda
And later on, if that one was filled with cinnamon powder or black pepper
What's the worst that could happen anyway?
Barbara is used to regularly check on him, so one more or one less check up will not make much of a difference to her, at this point
"What... was the next step again? I... I forgot."
One good thing though: she doesn't mistake your bubbly behavior for being the one and only Hu Tao
Thankfully, Dr. Baizhu showed up to save the day... and also to prevent you from starving tonight
"What do you mean, you can't cook?"
"Now, compadre, lemme tell you: this is a sentence from the past! 'cause Arataki "Numero Uno Cheffo Supremo" Itto, here in the flesh, will teach you all there is to know!"
"Uh-huh, that's right! And after I show you how the pros do it, you'll make even the Raiden Shogun herself show up, to come taste your cooking! I'm talking from experience here, you know?
And if the smell isn't enough... well, I'll just throw papers into Tenshukaku again, it's no big deal."
Needless to say, Shinobu's 6th sense for incoming troubles triggered after hearing all that... and it didn't take long for the stove itself to be on fire
"Holy moly pepperoni, who summoned the Pyro Archon in here?! We don't even have any offerings ready! Shinobu, do something! Help!"
Your stomach will be full for the day... but your mind will have reached its monthly limit of speech-processing
If it wasn't for Oz translating everything she says into a less grand, more common (and understandable) form of language, then communication would have been more difficult
At least, she appreciates your efforts to converse with her, despite the... difference of style between you both
"I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, shall assist thou in thy divine mission of fulfilling thy satiety by thyself"
"Thine ancient and forgotten recipes, from thy secret realms within thy depths of thy Immernachtreich, shall be revealed to thou on thy blessed day"
"Where thine clouds from thy evil forces of darkness, thine despicable enemies of light, will become disintegrated, as thou shall spread wide thine wings of culinary knowledge"
"Thus, beginning a new era in which thou shall be able to course thy own path, becoming a sovereign of eating preparation"
"A path where thy kitchen shall no longer be regarded as a place of everlasting, insurmountable hardship"
"What mein Fräulein means to say is, she will gladly teach you how to cook"
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