One of those days
Today is one of those days "I took the Tylenol at 2:30 and again at 6:15 I took the ibuprofen at 4:30 so I can take that again at 8:30" I can't tell if it helps but it's all I can do that and laying on the couch with a heating pad trying to read and distract myself feeling horribly guilty about all the house work and other stuff that needs to get done that's not getting done feeling nauseous and exhausted no spoons but knowing I can't sleep or do more than doze off for a few minutes before the pain wakes me up wondering if I should take the stronger pain medicine the doctor gave me but very nervous about it wondering again what the fuck is causing this pain is it kidney endometriosis the birth control doesn't seem to be helping that much I was told it was hydronephrosis caused by UPJ an obstructed ureter but what caused THAT it only started when my daughter was about 6 months old she's 6.5 years now so that's 6 years of sporadic debilitating pain maybe something post pregnancy related I guess
All we know is it's not kidney stones tried a ureteral stent that was a nightmare and didn't help trying the birth control the obgyn will only check for endometriosis by going in through the front but all my pain is in one spot in the back exactly where my right kidney is the kidney doctor won't operate until my kidney function gets worse its only a little bad right now so I'm stuck second guessing and wondering people think maybe it's just a muscle thing but I don't see how that's possible always in the same place on and off sometimes for a few days or sometimes just a day for years now always along with nausea and exhaustion heating pad doesn't really help either maybe IBS flare-up coincides it's hard to tell maybe PMDD often happens the week before my period but not always and sometimes (like now) the week of or the week after or any random time of the month often on Tuesdays I have no idea why stress related maybe I just know when it hits I want someone to cut this fucking kidney out of me and be done I'm so tired