im so tired of never being the first choice. im so tired of craving intimacy so desperately and never having it within arms reach. im so tired of keeping all this anger and sadness and confusion as well as joy and happiness and love inside of myself, never with someone to share. im so tired of reaching out and caring for others and never receiving anything back. im so tired of smiling and nodding and shaking hands while my back hurts and my waist feels empty. im so tired of crying myself to sleep, wrapping my arms around myself because i dont have anyone to share my bed with. im so tired.