Life Is Weird - Blog Posts

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nothings really all that real. like time is split into 12s and 60s because of sumerians and babylonians. the ideal ratio of oxygen to carbon dioxide is based on what it was when our specific shape of stupid meatsack evolved and thus what were adapted to. we make noises into our electronic boxes all day and they get turned into and exist as 1s and 0s on a server somewhere until someone else asks the server to show it to them at which point they're converted back into something people can read. or maybe they can't read it so they send it to another server that changes it from one human language to another and then shows the translated version, represented by a different sequence of 1s and 0s, to them. sometimes a lightbulb burns out because too much charge ran through it. your walls might have asbestos on them because it was a really pretty green and they didnt know it was toxic yet. you can actually buy peppermint bark at any time of year, its just harder to find them in spring. people do yoga with goats. pomeranians and great danes are the same species. you can usually extract an image from a webpage by going through devtools, which i only learned how to do because i wanted to see someones discord profile in higher definition. you can go to a pharmacy and get hair dye, ibuprofen, nail polish, and a candy bar in the same trip.

seriously this existence is completely arbitrary and mostly artificial and we should all just chill the fuck out. i advocate being nice to each other because nothing really matters so why make things worse?

My review on life:

I Think People overthink how life is supposed to Flow, we all seem to forget that Everybody is experiencing life for the first time like, there isnt instructions or Anything on what were supposed to do here think of life like minecraft your dropped into the world with no instructions but there is an outline or baseline of what were supposed to do, like in minecraft we could start etting Resources in order to help our in game character Survive, in life we go to school to get a proper Education so we could get a job and possibly in the Process discover ourself, and in both of these you are dropped into a world of Endless possibilities, in minecraft the goal is to get strong enough to kill the Ender dragon in life the goal that society has dictated is to have a good paying job, hopefully have a family someday and then hopefully live a long happy life with a peaceful death, but both of these have a world so full of possibilities and the universe and life in general is really unfair so those life plans People make, they shouldnt follow it so seriously life is unpredictable every single Day we live through our potential Death Day I'm sure that a lot of People world have wanted to accomplish their dreams before they leave this world but at the same time you shouldnt restrict yourself from the possibilities life has to offer, life is unpredictable so you should live as If everyday there's something new to look forward to, yes there re moments where life is boring but thats just it life isnt meant to be lived in the fast Lane life is a slow Process and we should enjoy it as time cant be turned back, one of the most Valuable things life has to offer is time so we should treasure it.

Me: "I want to remain child free because I don't wanna pass on my trauma to the next generation, but i'm a lesbian so at least I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy."

*finds out through a friend that a really hot bisexual chick in town has a crush on me. (she's also currently pregnant with her exe's kid)

Me: *Internal screaming noises*

andreil and goodbye kisses (pt. 7) ft. allison

parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 good lord why have i stretched this one concept out for so long skdflskj || part 8

allison thinks — nay, knows — that neil josten is just the cutest human being alive. certainly a badass. very threatening. will bite when provoked.

but still very cute. adorable. squish, if you will.

(also, have you seen those eyes??)

she likes to believe she is the mother hen of the newborn chick — the startled bambi — that is neil josten

and so, as an experienced, highly intellectual person, she... questions neil's taste in men

allison worries that andrew is just stringing neil along, ready to drop him whenever he pleases

(renee insists this is not the case, but what does renee know?)

anyways, allison concludes that andrew must be put to the test to confirm that he is good enough for her precious (and slightly rude) child

now, allison isn't one to perpetuate stereotypes, but andrew is a well-dressed gay man with plenty of experience in dressing up neil nicely

and, as the self-crowned queen of fashion, she knows that clothes can tell a lot about an individual

(for example, her clothes are wonderful, which means that she is flawless)

so allison decides that going clothes shopping with andreil (she cannot thank nicky enough for coming up with that ship name) is the only way to truly see if andrew is good enough for neil

so she plans. and one thursday evening, she corners andrew and neil and tells them what's going down

"neil. you and your boy— " "he's not my boy" "you and your boy will join me this saturday to go shopping at the mall. any questions?" "yes, actually— " "great, i'll see you then!"

to her surprise, andrew actually shows up with neil on saturday, twirling his car keys with a bored expression

"minyard. you are not driving"

"alright then. neil, let's go back to to bed"

"okay okay fine you can drive"

allison, with great dignity, regales herself to backseat passenger. at least this way she has a perfect view of the heart eyes transpiring between andrew and neil

(and if she sneaks in a couple of pictures of them — well, no one needs to know)

they finally reach the mall and allison is ready to start her sneaky observations

first: she spots a cute pink sweater in an egregiously bright shop window and drags neil inside, checking conspicuously if andrew follows him

he does

pleased, allison browses through the store, plucking the sweater she originally saw to try on later

after a little more looking, she emerges from the dressing room to show off the sweater to neil

"well neil? how do i look?"

"oh uh. pretty? andrew, how does she look?"

andrew sweeps an impassive gaze over her and promptly turns around without a word

allison is outraged. how dare he simply ignore neil! does he not think neil is important enough to respond to? does he not care at all? how can he just— oh

andrew returns with a pale blue sweater she had seemingly missed and throws it at her face

she goes back in to try it with a huff. surprisingly (and annoyingly), this one looks even better than the pink one did

she buys the blue one. but andrew's still on thin fucking ice

second: after the sweater fiasco, she leads andreil over to a shoe store. allison * very deliberately * walks through the men's footwear, hoping andrew will take notice of something he likes there for neil, before making her way to the women's section

she tries on a few sandals, showing them off to neil, and andrew wanders off in the middle of her runway strut

(she can't understand why. he might be gay, but surely he can still appreciate her legs, right?)

her questions are answered after andrew emerges from an aisle carrying a navy blue box, placing it in front of neil

neil stares at it. andrew kicks him in the shin

"oh am i supposed to wear it?"

andrew rolls his eyes and bends down, switching neil's old sneakers for a new pair of running shoes he found

allison nearly coos at the sight of the terrifying andrew minyard tying his boyfriend's shoelaces with such a focused look

neil loves the shoes. allison buys them for him. and maybe she approves of andrew just a little bit more

third: after a few more stores, allison is at the final stop of her experiment — clothes shopping for neil

she spends an agonizingly long hour searching for clothes neil might actually wear, but when she goes to give it to him, he's nowhere to be found

frantically, she combs through the store again, already thinking of private investigators to hire to find him

suddenly, allison spots his bright hair against the wall in the far corner of the store

she races over there, ready to give neil a piece of her mind for worrying her, until she sees what he's up to

he's kissing andrew. but it's not heavy making-out, it's not anything too explicit. it's just very adorable kissing

(allison has to bite back a laugh when she notices that andrew has to go on his toes to reach neil)

she goes to pull out her phone, but the clothes in her hand rustle, causing neil to glance her way

he winces at the massive pile of clothes, but presses a kiss to andrew's lips, then nose, before gingerly taking the clothes to try on

allison squints at andrew upon seeing the nose kiss. he scowls at her and promptly walks away in the direction neil left to

allison considers the sight she just saw. surely andrew wouldn't be willing to be so openly soft if he was just playing neil, right? right.

(damn, maybe renee did know some things after all)

allison gives a pleased smile — maybe andrew really is okay for neil — before suddenly remembering the bet that she's probably going to lose soon

but she doesn't mind losing some money anymore; she has plenty of it

all allison wants is for neil to be happy. and if andrew brings him happiness— well, she doesn't really understand neil's taste, but she supports it anyway

fuck. when did she get so soft?

To anyone who sees this, do ya'll ever those days where like your internal monalogue WILL NOT STOP going off on tangents and rambling on about weird shit? Like ofc logically you should tune out the noise so you can actually get shit done. But it's always funny to me when you tune back in cause you're curious or whatever and your brain has been having a conversation with itself about the ways you could theoretically murder someone. And you just genuinely have no clue how you got to this point.

I feel like internal monologues might have something to do with dream theory but I'm not smart enough to articulate exactly what

Welp. Fully moved in and unpacked. I feel strange. Though I did get to go to one of our basketball games tonight. We won, and boy do I love the student section so much already. I think I’m gonna do well here in my new world

What in the fudge covered cheese cake is going on with life. I feel like I’m permanently living in a state of limbo.

Anyway what’s new with you fine folk that’ll see this?

rantandreleasespace@gmail.com

sometimes you want to deep talk. other times, laugh at how unfair life is. then there are days you want to be crude as hell, unfiltered, messy, real.

but...

social media feels too loud. friends feel too busy. texting feels dry. even your notes app is tired of you.

and still... the heart swells. the mind spins. the soul aches for softness. for being heard without performing. for depth without interruption.

that’s how rant and release was born.

for the ones who: → overthink everything. → replay conversations or decisions on loop. → feel it all and still carry it all. → need to vent but don’t want pity. → want to share but not with just anybody.

it’s old-style. it’s basic. it’s messy. but I promise — when you find me there, we’ll laugh at life together, get scared together, maybe even get cruder together. because in there, it’s us against life.

one email away: rantandreleasespace@gmail.com

no rules. no perfection. just human. though, NOT THERAPY.