Lovers - Blog Posts

keep the kiss, my love. no need to return it just yet, i want you to have me for a little longer. let my lips linger where they were until you get sick of my taste.

every day i live in fear of your disillusionment—

you see sunlight now,

but i don’t know what will happen when you see my ripped lungs

and shallow ventricles, the ones i created for myself

because i never really got used to feeling my broken skin.

your lips on mine were a mere wisp in time

and yet i can still feel them when i speak—

all my words are tinted, such a blessing for

someone whose speech tends to be tar-black.

i have loved her since she held me wholeheartedly, left her hair caught on my sweater. her fingers gripped into my arm, red marks in my skin. never let go. i wanted to whisper it into her soul, leave such an unmistakable mark.

i feel the weight of her head on my chest when she can’t be there. her fingers interlaced into mine like vines around my skin, cutting off circulation. her absent face seems to haunt me.

i know you love to watch the sky but look at the rain, my love. it comes every fall, hurricanes lining the coast. we have lived it--the wind and floods have raised us. you stare at the sky when it's beautiful and i watch the rain as it pools on the road, remember how i used to jump in puddles. i never had rain boots, and i guess that was the best part as a child, to feel the water in your socks. now i don't leave the house when it rains because the thunder scares me and i watch the raindrops through my window, i feel them through the thick glass. i'm older and a bit of a cynic, i never let the water touch my fingertips. 

i think i find comfort in your details, the way you brush your hand against mine, the way you squeeze tighter when you have to leave. you've been embroidered so carefully into my skin, clearer than the running stitch my grandmother taught me as a child. 

winter chill is setting in and i am bundled up safe and warm--we might not get the chance to exist in the same room for a few days but you're here, you're always in my heart, love. i catch glimpses of a newfound future in my dreams, stained glass newly coloring my visions. i can finally live a life free of the vines tying my wrists. you have brought me such a gift, the light i needed.

they'll all ask what happened when you kissed me 

but i will keep my mouth shut, the details are only for you and i to know. 

like your blue ink that i covered up with sweater sleeves, 

i don't think i can let anyone else have your neverending love. 

(the only thing i tell them

is that it was just as perfect as i had imagined.)

the snow may never fall in our hometown

no matter how cold it gets, 

but i will hold your hands and you will kiss mine

we can pretend to make snow angels in the grass

till we're old and tired and can't get up

and perhaps then we'll be in a winter wonderland. 

when i go to bed i almost miss

the feeling of your hands in my hair, 

how your lips meet mine in the most world-changing way

and the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me. 

for once, my dreams cannot live up to my reality. 

i wonder if you think about me when you wake up, 

because i do, i seem to remember sunday mornings that haven't happened yet

and the way i'd kiss you while the sunlight began to cast lines on the floor.

is it possible to have the most intoxicating love and the most chilling pain coursing through your veins at once? my hands are shaking and i can't tell if the black cloud is back or i just kissed the love of my life. it's all real, it's all becoming more real, i pace around the piles on the floor and figure out a way to text you back. somehow my existence amounts to more than just words on a page and my bronchioles are becoming shallower by each breath i take. my neck has whipped around one too many times to see your face--you have punctured my aorta in the most beautiful way, i might bleed out from this feeling but my plasma will be on your hands. i'll always be with you, i suppose. 

someday it’ll be thanksgiving and i’ll wake up in your arms. we don’t have to have dinner with my parents or your grandparents it can just be the people we love. someday it’ll be thanksgiving and i’ll set the table while you stir the soup and maybe our kids will run all over the place waiting for everyone to get here. i’ll kiss you before the doorbell rings, we’ll pour white wine while it rains outside. i’ll wear my heels and you wear that dress. when the party’s over it’s not a relief because they’re gone—it’s a relief because it was perfection.

you’re the cloth daisies on my nightstand—always there, always appreciated. i touch them each night before i go to bed. i can only hope that one day i can do the same for you. i can tell you wonder if i think we’re going too fast but i can’t see it, my love. i think that all our trials, all those weeks spent in denial—those count too. technically we’re only one month deep but it feels like i’ve loved you my entire life.

it’s raining. by sunday it will have been a month and somehow my mind is getting lost in a fragile future, all the dreams i have are daisies, i can only hope the wind won’t blow them away. i chastise myself for getting my hopes up all the time but i think this time i can let them fly free. because i finally know i can lean on you, sink into your shoulder. there is no way we could end in a ditch, not after all our tribulations.

i wish i could go back to the september day

when i met your mother and i wish i could have told her

that i wasn’t in love with you yet but soon enough

it would develop like the sea glass she kept on the table.

they say the second kiss isn’t as good as the first

but i think i could kiss you a million times and i would

still feel like i’m walking on clouds.

i think i’m drowning in missing you

but the waves only come when i’m

tired and scared, when the world

is turning the wrong direction

and the only way to fix it

is running back into your arms.

i know we’re kind of young and i’m just trying to put myself together but you’re my forever and always. i think you’re the glue i was missing when i fell apart.

i look at you, and of course you’re beautiful, but what i really see is your heart, filling the air around you. you take pictures of the sky, my love. nothing can be more perfect than that.

is it bad that i want my hair spread out on your pillow, that i need your face close to mine? i’d run my hand down your face like a waterfall, kiss you where it hurts. to exist beside you, that’s all i’ll ever wish for on shooting stars.

you are gentle with me

like my mother should have been

and i guess it’s kind of sad

that i found that kind of love in your arms

if i hold onto you for long enough

can i just go ahead and melt into your skin?

then i can be with you forever and always.

today i was sick

today i was sick but i came to see you. couldn't imagine even getting out of bed--my head felt so heavy but my heart must've betrayed me because i got on the bus and i went to a place where i don't really belong. i tell myself i don't belong--until i see you. 

and i felt bad for possibly making you sick too, because it's the worst thing in the world and i love you the most. but the moment i touched your skin i think all my worry went away. you felt so soft in my arms. 

no idea, no idea, no idea how you feel. i can't read your mind, all those runes i wish to uncover. i don't even know if the way you hold me is genuine. but i know i'm lying to myself every time i reread our memories and say it was never anything at all. 

because if i sink into you for ten minutes straight how can it be just friendship?

pink tulle bracelet

today,

she gave me a twisted bracelet made out of pink tulle.

and it made me wonder.

how can such a simple object hold so much love?

i wish i could throw it out into the world,

the words, the meaning, the life,

oh my,

my confidante,

my one to rely on,

my person i run back to every time,

i love you.

the way you smile when we remember the old days

and the way you listen and never complain.

the way you go out of your way to talk to me

and the way we can communicate from across the room.

with every speck of my being,

i love you.

and in five years

i will not remember the meaning or the significance

of this twisted bracelet made of pink tulle

but i will hold it and feel how much love radiates off of it.

with all my heart and soul,

i love you.

my spun silk

you say your hair is brown 

yet i say spun silk. 

you say your eyes are boring

but i see sweet caramel and the warmest milk. 

you think you’re weird

but all i see is my butterfly. 

i say my mind is disturbed

and you say, “then why do you love me?”

i say i’m dangerous

and you say “no amount of danger could keep me away from a dragonfly.”

i say you don’t want me 

and you say “what if i do?”

i could never see the things you see in me. 

my eyes are distorted and so are yours.  

showing the shadows and never the light.

this is why you love. 

to know yourself through another’s eyes. 

the way you looked at me

i don't know what to do i'm just a little puddle of love

every time i walk out after seeing you i get this feeling

it's like i'm hot chocolate, marshmallows on top

leaves fall like me for you

you stare at me from across the room

warm coffee, fluffy sweaters

loving you feels so fuzzy i can't put it into words

Lonely Hearts Club ♡

- Finds out my nemesis has a peanut allergy

- Puts peanut oil in my water bottle

- Goes to meet nemesis

- Confesses love

- Drinks peanut oil

- Kisses them

- I've think I've won

- Plot twist

- They planned this

- They aren't allergic to peanuts

- And now we're dating

- Oh shit

I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please