Mine - Blog Posts
I read “Lost Souls” last summer and really enjoyed it. Ghost particularly stole my heart, so I had to make a little mood board for him.
Song: The Killing Moon - Echo & the Bunnymen
do i need to conduct a psychoanalysis for every character in every piece of media i consume? no, but i will sure as heck try
(me as a parent)
huh. so that's what happens when you put legos in the washing machine.
calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
📜🖋🍂
Once upon a time there was a girl,
She didn't like who she was.
She didn't like the way she looked,
She didn't like the way she behaved,
She didn't like the way she thought.
She was always imperfect for her.
Once upon a time there was a girl,
Who always wanted to be someone else and would have given anything to make this happen,
Because in her skin she felt invisible, unappreciated, unloved.
This may have changed if she had accepted the love of others justly,
But she couldn't,
It was hard for her because she didn't love herself,
And the love from others seemed unfair to her to have.
Once upon a time there was a girl,
Who only had one friend.
She felt at home when she was with her,
But they haven't seen each other in months,
And remote communication was hard to maintain.
When she was alone it was a torment.
At that moment all thoughts rushed creating unreal worries but he could not escape:
"What if you did the wrong thing?"
"You're not good enough."
"The people you passed by earlier started laughing ... they were laughing at you."
"You look horrible!"
All this was like a rising water.
She felt like she was drowning.
Needing to breathe, her subconscious told her to take a deep breath, a thought she struggled with because you couldn't breathe underwater.
She felt trapped, her own prisoner, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Once upon a time there was a girl,
Who forgot how to love,
She forgot the feeling of being in love.
She forgot how to love love.
She was afraid to fall in love,
She was afraid to love.
That's why she kept the world at bay and moved away from everyone.
She felt like she was building a wall between herself and the others.
She didn't feel sad, but she wasn't happy either.
All she felt was security.
She wished she could feel those butterflies in her stomach,
But at the same time, she was terrified of the idea.
She wished she could feel the warmth of someone next to her,
But at the same time she liked the coolness in which she found himself.
She was lost in a maze of her emotions and didn't want to shoot anyone with her,
That's why she drove everyone away.
For her, love was like a new universe, and no matter how much she wanted to explore it, she was too afraid.
Once upon a time there was a girl,
Which wherever she was she did not feel at home.
She wanted to go home,
But she didn't feel at home at home either.
Wherever she was, she felt like a stranger,
A tourist in a space that does not deserve to be, surrounded by critical looks that judged her every move.
She wanted a place for her, but she couldn't find it;
She wanted to feel safe, but she didn't feel;
She wanted a house, but she didn't have one.
The only place that was closest to "home" was the place he saw only in his imagination,
Where she felt safe,
Where she was the person she always wanted to be.
But it hurt.
The feeling she had when she returned to reality hurt;
Sadness, anger, disappointment,
It all overwhelmed her and made her feel like she was drowning again,
Until she took it from the beginning again, imagining.
It was like a drug.
The most beautiful and painful drug the girl could not part with no matter how hard she tried.
And she knows that because she tried,
But she couldn't.
She was always pulled back by the awful feeling of peace, tranquility, security ... at home.
Once upon a time there was a girl,
Who needed help ...
But he didn't know who to ask.
Ok, so, I am sorry if my english is bad. It's my second language, but anyway here is the version written in my language:
A fost odată o fată,
Ei nu îi plăcea cine era.
Nu îi placea cum arăta, nu îi plăcea cum se comporta, nu îi plăcea cum gândea.
Pentru ea a fost mereu imperfectă.
A fost odată o fată,
Care mereu și-a dorit să fie altcineva și ar fi dat orice pentru ca acest lucru să se fi întâmplat,
Pentru că în pielea ei se simțea invizibilă, neapreciată, neiubită.
Acest lucru poate s-ar fi schimbat dacă ar fi acceptat iubea celorlalți din just,
Dar nu putea,
Îi era greu deoarece nu se iubea pe ea insăşi,
Iar dragostea din partea celorlalți I se părea nedrept pentru a o avea.
A fost odată o fată,
Care avea doar o prietenă.
Se simțea acasă când era cu ea,
Dar nu s-au mai văzut de luni întregi,
Iar comunicarea de la distanță era un lucru greu de menținut.
Când era singură era un chin.
În acel moment toate gândurile năvăleau creând griji ireale dar de care nu putea scăpa:
"Dacă ai făcut acel lucru greşit?"
"Nu eşti suficient de bună."
"Persoanele pe lângă care ai trecut mai devreme au început să râdă...râdeau de tine."
"Arăți oribil!"
Toate acestea erau ca o apă în continuă creșterea.
Simțea că se îneacă.
Având nevoie să respire subconştientul ei îi spunea să tragă o gură de aer, gând cu care se lupta deoarece nu poți respira sub apă.
Se simțea blocată, propria prizonieră și nu putea face nimic în legătură cu asta.
A fost odată o fată,
Care a uitat cum se iubeşte,
A uitat sentimentul de a fi indrăgostit.
A uitat cum să iubească iubirea.
Îi era frică a se indrăgosti,
Îi era frică a iubi.
De aceea ținea lumea la distanță și se indepărta de toți.
Simțea ca și cum construia un zid între ea și ceilalți.
Nu se simțea tristă dar nu era nici fericită.
Tot ce simțea era siguranță.
Ea și-ar fi dorit să simtă acei fluturi în stomac,
Dar în același timp era inspăimântată de idee.
Și-ar fi dorit să simtă căldura cuiva lângă ea,
Dar în același timp îi plăcea răcoarea în care se afla.
Era pierdută într-un labirint al emotiilor ei și nu dorea să tragă pe nimeni alături de ea,
De aceea îndeparta pe toată lumea.
Pentru ea iubirea era ca un univers nou și oricât de mult și-ar fi dorit să îl exploreze îi era mult prea teamă.
A fost odată o fată,
Care oriunde se afla nu se simțea acasă.
Dorea să meargă acasă,
Dar nici acasă nu se mai simțea acasă.
În orice loc în care se afla se simțea străină,
Un turist pe un spațiu care nu I se cuvine înconjurat de priviri critice care îi judecau fiecare mişcare.
Își dorea un loc al ei, dar nu îl putea găsi;
Dorea să se simtă în siguranță, dar nu se simțea;
Ar fi vrut o casă, dar nu o avea.
Singurul loc care era cel mai apropiat de "acasă" era locul pe care îl vedea doar în imaginația sa,
Acolo unde se simțea în siguranță,
Acolo unde era persoana care și-ar fi dorit din totdeauna să fie.
Dar durea.
Durea sentimentul pe care îl avea atunci când se întorcea la realitate;
Tristețea, furia, dezamăgirea,
Toate o copleşeau și o făceau din nou să se simtă ca și cum s-ar îneca,
Până când o lua iar de la capăt, imaginându-şi.
Era ca un drog.
Cel mai frumos și dureros drog de care fata nu se putea despărții oricât ar fi încercat.
Și ea știe asta pentru că a încercat,
Dar nu a putut.
Era mereu trasă înapoi de îngrozitorul de frumos sentiment de pace, linişte, siguranță...acasă.
A fost odată o fată,
Care avea nevoie de ajutor...
Dar nu știa cui să il ceară.
angel tree♡
weak ice warning
rabbit in the dark
hare tracks♡