TW subtle depressive thoughts
dear jihye,
why did you leave? we were supposed to stick together.
jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
you may ask me why am i writing this letter? because you never answer your fucking phone. next time you drop off the face of the earth, send a forwarding address and maybe a working phone number so we’re not all worrying our asses off thinking you’re dead in a ditch somewhere. jesus, jihye.
jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
writing letters in the 21st century? what are we starved romanticists? please pick up your phone and text me back.
sincerely, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
it actually pains me to pick up a pen and write this. we are living and breathing in a world with the most efficient technological advances and you’re seriously making me break out archaic methods in order to talk to you.
i hate this, you better answer.
miss you.
sincerely, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
it’s been 210 days since i’ve last seen or heard from you. yes, i’m keeping count. i miss you, dearly, and this house is a mess, as always. but i feel like it’d be less of a mess if you were here. or maybe even messier, who knows, really.
junsu is still the same dickhead, jimin 언니 is awol as always, jieun 언니 is off being mom’s little trophy daughter and jungmi 언니 is making headlines with her new column in playwitch, who knew writing for perverts could be so lucrative? i’m kidding, at least it was better than her sex toy advice. if you get playwitch where you are, make sure you pick up this month’s copy! i’m lowkey tempted to post it onto my story.
have you seen my stories lately?
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
how are you? where are you now? is it los angeles or new york? or even paris? the post cards you send to junsu always look so much more inviting than the ones you send me. i don’t burn them, you know. i want to but .... just knowing you’re safe somewhere kind of comforts me.
please send me more, please let me know you’re safe.
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
update: i slapped jieun 언니 at the party today. i don’t regret it but everyone is telling me i should apologize because i was the one in the wrong. but 언니, if you heard what she was saying .... i swear you’d go crazy too ... they’re all a bunch of ignorant greedmongers that it’s just nauseating to listen to and i snapped, okay? ugh, i don’t want to apologize but ...
i fucked up didn’t i?
tell me what to do, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
it’s getting cold here in seoul. i wish i was somewhere tropical like boracay or bali. tell me where you are so we can go together ❤︎
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
i need advice: what’s it feel like to fall in love?
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
i just wanted to let you know i won the running for the fourth year class representative. it was a landslide, can you believe it?
are you proud of me?
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
update: love sucks. it sucks, it sucks, it sucks.
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
언니, something happened. please contact me asap.
it’s urgent, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
the new season of produce started and why is it always the untalented ones that are the cutest? is it something about not being able to sing a tune that just becomes my siren song? is that dramatic or gross?
maybe it’s because i know i’d carry the weight in the relationship either way, hm.
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
i wish you took me with you, i’m slowly seeing the colors of my life fade to black and i don’t know who to tell. i feel like you’d understand, but you’re not here.
you’re never here.
write back, please.
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
you know how gretchen weiners said why didn’t everyone just stab caesar? well that’s my Mood today or everyday. missing you again today, have you gotten my last letter, by the way?
love always, your sister, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
i’m not fine, and it’s starting to get harder to pretend i am. i feel so much uncontrollable anger swell up within me and i can’t stop it when i let it out. i can see the people around me grow to hate me more and more and i can’t do anything to stop that. maybe i’m careless, too nonchalant, maybe i can do something but what would be the use?
they’re so used to me being this way, maybe it’s better off that i’m hated.
what do you think, 언니?
sincerely, jina
・ ・ ・
dear jihye,
it’s been a year, when are you coming back?
let me know, jina
the act of two oppositions striking violently against another. see also: jina and @mmjihye, mid-afternoon, cheong ryeong common room; wits end.
𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍’𝐓 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:
a normal day, sure. that’s to be expected.
she figures from the start, that the day will go on as normal, or as close to it as possible. because what was ‘normal’, these days, wasn’t really normal (not when each day is faced with treacherous expectations set by the infamy that came with being one of the numerous spawn of the kwak jidam) by definition. so, the day spins out from dawn, slowly. it goes and goes and she pays no attention to the warning signs in plain sight, of the whispers that linger and hinder, she blocks them all out. for jina wasn’t one to read too into things, anyways.
she sees the hours come to a close, and the way the afternoon bleeds into her day.
and soon, the lunch hour ends uneventfully. the minutes tick on by; slow, casual steps are made as she strolls from where she and hana had taken their afternoon meal, where they part ways and back. a premeditated task lurking in the back of her mind, busy as always, pre-occupied all the same as she takes the route back towards the cheong ryeong common rooms. it’s a short walk, with faint remembrance of where she had left her books at the forefront of her mind, expecting the stack of literature to be right where she had left it.
again, jina wasn’t sure what she was expecting:
her books piled high atop one of the dozen side tables loitered about, yes.
but surely, not this.
not kwak jihye --kwak fucking jihye-- kwak, her fucking sister, leave-without-a-fucking-heads-up jihye and her god-forsaken face lounging about like it was the most natural thing to be. acting as if her ass hadn’t just gone awol for the last year, gone without a trace, pulling one of the most horrendous and disappointing houdini-disappearing acts known to mankind.
no, jina hadn’t expected this at all.
which was why, she blinks twice for good measure. three times to make sure and a fourth to keep the gigantic vein from bulging out of her temple. fingers gingerly prying said books from where she had left them, collecting them carefully and finely into her arms; taking careful, determined steps further into the room. fingers brace the spines of the books before she stops short of where her sister lay.
and without notice, she drops them, quite aggressively into the mahogany table by their feet. teeth tightening over her smile as she stares at her sister, head-on, words barely spit through grinding molars. “what the fuck are you doing here?” no i miss yous, no familiarity-filled, unnie!, no nothing --except pure, raw hostility and perhaps, a dash of well-warranted anger.