Motivation - Blog Posts

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Today I went to the mall, got groceries, and got a cheescake n milk for myself to indulge in 😼, so I sat at the benches and ate to my fill, it was like a solo date honestly, I did sudoku, I drew half-heartedly yet felt full, and read abit. Came back home, cleaned my room, made myself an avocado milkshake, danced to some tunes and I'm watching YOU as I type this. Now I'm going to stretch, take a shower and tuck myself into my freshly made bed :3.

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Project research, planning, university searching, contemplating life, back to project, cut myself some shorts from jeans I don't wear, planning on what to do with the scraps, organise my dresser, vc with BFF, now to bed

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Ways to Shift the Angle || It's all about perspective.

1. Go outside ugly.

No makeup. No cute outfit. Just step out. Feel the wind. Notice the clouds like they’re watching you back. You’re not there to be seen, you’re there to see, aka you're right as a HUMAN.

2. Drink water with dramatic flair.

Pour it into your prettiest glass. Add lemon, cucumber, or mint if you’re extra. Sip it like it’s holy. Because it is. Hydration is a rebuke to the decay.

3. Unfollow the perfect. Follow the real.

Curate your feed like a gallery. If it doesn’t make you dream bigger or breathe deeper, cut it. You become what you consume.

My moto has always been See it, be it.

4. Romanticize something stupid.

Fold laundry like a French film heroine. Wash dishes like you’re in a music video. Make it art. You don’t need permission, you have free will!!!!

5. Make something and let it suck.

Doodle, paint, sing badly, dance worse, write shit poetry and convince yourself you're freaking Edgar Allan Poe. Expression is not a talent contest, it’s your soul stretching its arms. There so many ways to do that.

6. Touch grass... but like, really touch it.

Like fr. Sit with your bare legs on the ground. Let dirt under your nails(you can clean it l8r, it ain't gonna kill you) Be wild. You’re not a screen. You’re skin and blood and thunder.

7. Talk to yourself with tenderness.

You’ve survived every ugly day so far. That deserves softness. Praise yourself out loud like you would your best friend.

8. Write a letter to the girl you’ll be in a year.

Tell her what you hope for. What you’re scared of. What you’re trying. Then seal it. Hide it. Come back to it later and weep at your own growth.

9. Watch a movie you loved at 13.

Feel how it hits different. That’s -perspective- seeing the same story with new eyes, older eyes, wiser eyes.

10. Do something the algorithm doesn’t care about.

Learn to knit. Bake bread (!!!!). Read a dusty book. These aren’t for clout. They’re for soul.

You don’t need a full rebrand. You need a tilt. A reframe. A second glance.

Your life isn’t just a reel of wasted time. It’s a painting in progress. And even the mess matters. Every shade. Every smudge. Every layer.

Perspective is more than a trick of the eye. It’s a rebellion. A soft uprising against despair. It says, yes, this sucks right now, but it’s not the whole story. You are not the rot. You are the artist holding the brush, choosing what to do next.

I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I do believe in reshaping the meaning of things that happen.

So next time you’re lying there, staring at the ceiling like it holds answers, waiting for a sign, turn the paper. Turn yourself. A few degrees is all it takes.

And suddenly, what looked like the end… is just the start of something strange and beautiful.

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Need to be my mc since yesterday, she's gorge I wanted her more than matthias 😻😼

Yes I play interactive games like THTH, episodes and choices or wtv AND LADS<3. What else was i gonna say bout it.... Speaking of, I should get episodes again, I'm done with too hot to handle already 😝.

It’s All About Perspective:

Sometimes, all it takes is a quarter turn.

That dried paint blob: smeared, ugly, accidental — can become a dancing figure with big shoes, a biker, an abstract expression, if you just tilt it. And what if your life is the same? What if you’re not broken, lazy, or lost, but simply looking at your own story from the wrong side?

We’ve all been there. Hair greasy, phone hot from hours of scrolling, a million open tabs and zero opened dreams. You’re rotting in bed, flicking from one TikTok to another, laughing, then crying, then dissociating, watching other people live out the things you swore you’d do. It’s addicting. Comfortable. Even aesthetic. "Girl rot" became a moodboard, for Christ's sake but no one tells you that staying there too long leaves you hollow.

But here’s the truth, my dear angels: you’re not the paint blob. You’re the hand turning the page. You decide the angle.

So how do you shift perspective when everything feels heavy? When life is a loop of doomscrolls, late-night existential spirals, and the occasional burst of fake motivation?

You start slow. You start small. You turn the page.

Maybe I'll post something about this topic tomorrow :)

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Today was an eventful day :D! I played dress up to 2014 diet Pepsi party songs, went out, and stumbled across a free flower arrangement class, and I got to take my own bouquet home!!!! >.<!

Today was really good, life has meaning outside of bedrotting and doomscrolling, go out and find something to do, you'll find joy, relaxation and dopamine from activities you'd usually never bat an eye at!

Since I'm having a good day, here's a cool-ish and fun face reveal (might delete later)

Bonus 🩵

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Brah, nothing much today as usual, I think I can even predict tomorrow accurate I'm not even joking. I'll wake up groggy, do my skin routine, either decide to fast longer, just take tea or coffee, or make a proper breakkie for myself, which is usually oats or like eggs and wtv.

I'm prepping to do a evening stretch or perhaps workout before bed actually.

Im getting nowhere with this drawing lol. Maybe I should test out my new pencils!

The answer to the previous poll was actually the Follicular Phase. The oat cookies really threw most of you off and made you choose the Luteal Phase, but I mentioned more Follicular activities than Luteal. That's my bad. OK, I'm done; my will to do the exercise is stronger than ever!

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Today I ate kale, made myself a really ugly salad... Soooo not pictured lol, my skin is doing better - something seems to be wrong but I'll be just fine. Tho I didn't have time to exercise I did feel like it, maybe I should squeeze a stretch before bed to satisfy that craving. I also made some oat cookies :D!!!! And had quite the productive conversation with my best friend

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Cycle Syncing 101: How to Stop Fighting Your Body and Start Flowing (🌚) With It

alright girls, gather ‘round. this is the full post i promised - the one about periods, moods, energy, and how to actually live in sync with your cycle instead of feeling like a chaotic mess every month. because once i started tracking and understanding my cycle… it changed everything. for real. my workouts, my eating, my planning, my self-talk all became softer, smarter, more strategic. so let's break it down.

your menstrual cycle has 4 main phases, and each one brings its own vibe, mood, superpowers, and kryptonite. when you know which phase you’re in, you stop blaming yourself and start working with your body, not against it. ready?

1. Menstrual Phase (Bleeding / Days 1–5ish)

Vibe: hibernation queen. inward. reflective.

Body: hormones (estrogen + progesterone) are at their lowest = low energy, fatigue, cramps, sensitivities.

Mind: introspective, quiet, intuitive. this is your “truth-telling” time.

What to do:

Exercise: restorative yoga, stretching, slow walks. if you need to skip your workout? skip it. your body is doing enough.

Food: iron-rich foods (spinach, lentils, beef, dark chocolate), warm meals like soups and stews. magnesium-rich snacks can help with cramps.

Routines: go slow. journal. say no to extra plans. light candles. wear comfy clothes. treat yourself like you're sacred.

Study/work: focus on review, reflecting on past tasks, journaling ideas. let your brain rest a bit—don’t force deep concentration.

Self-care: warm baths, heat pads, soft music, no loud people.

Mental tip: you’re bleeding out the past month. literally. let go of what didn’t serve you. Zdont feel guilty.

2. Follicular Phase (Post-period / Days 6–13ish)

Vibe: fresh start. springtime energy. main character in a coming-of-age film.

Body: estrogen rises. energy builds. skin glows. you feel light, optimistic, social.

Mind: creative, motivated, open to new ideas.

What to do:

Exercise: try something new—dance, pilates, running, gym sessions. you’ll feel strong and energetic.

Food: fresh and light—greens, fermented foods, seeds, citrus. boost that metabolism.

Routines: this is your reset phase. declutter. plan your week/month. start new habits. your brain wants structure right now.

Study/work: brainstorm, start new projects, prep for heavy tasks ahead. your memory and focus are sharper.

Self-care: vision boards, hair masks, cute outfits. say yes to life.

Mental tip: this is your most productive phase. take advantage but don’t overbook. pace yourself.

3. Ovulation Phase (Middle of Cycle / Days 14–16ish)

Vibe: glowing goddess. seductive. unstoppable.

Body: estrogen peaks, testosterone joins the party. libido spikes. you’re magnetic and bold.

Mind: communicative, charming, high-confidence. great time to network or confront someone (with love, of course).

What to do:

Exercise: go hard—HIIT, lifting, cardio, group workouts. you’ve got power and endurance.

Food: fiber-rich foods (quinoa, carrots, berries) and antioxidants. hydrate well.

Routines: do your “hard” things here—presentations, big meetings, social stuff, shooting your shot.

Study/work: speak, pitch, debate. you’ve got clarity + persuasion.

Self-care: romanticize yourself. take hot pics, go out, flirt with life.

Mental tip: your confidence is real. don’t downplay it. enjoy this phase but stay grounded.

4. Luteal Phase (Pre-period / Days 17–28ish)

Vibe: cozy but moody. nesting energy.

Body: progesterone rises after ovulation. if no pregnancy happens, hormones start to drop = PMS hits.

Mind: detail-focused, critical, sensitive. easily overstimulated.

What to do:

Exercise: lower the intensity. pilates, strength training, long walks. listen to your body.

Food: complex carbs (sweet potatoes, oats), calming teas, B6-rich foods (bananas, salmon). eat more often to manage cravings + blood sugar dips.

Routines: finish tasks. organize. clean your space. prep for your period like you’d prep for a storm—lovingly.

Study/work: editing, detail work, wrapping up loose ends. less is more.

Self-care: limit caffeine, go offline if needed, soothe your senses.

Mental tip: don’t trust every thought. the inner critic is loud but not always right. softness wins here.

General Tips:

Track your cycle: use apps like Clue, Flo, or just a paper calendar. know when each phase starts so you can plan smarter.

Plan around your phases: big goals in follicular/ovulation, rest + review in menstrual/luteal.

Cycle syncing ≠ perfection: life doesn’t always let you live like a hormone princess. do what you can. forgive what you can't.

Be kind to yourself: if your body is low-energy, that’s not laziness—it’s biology. honor it.

Final Thoughts:

nobody told us this. nobody said “hey, your whole system is a monthly pattern, learn the rhythm and life gets easier.” instead, we got shame, pain, and whispers. but no more. now we know better. and syncing your life to your cycle is not about being soft—it’s about being smart. strategic. in tune.

girlhood isn’t chaos, insanity, it’s coded. and when you read the code, you stop feeling like a mess and start feeling like magic.

if you made it this far, you’re already syncing, baby.

go be soft when you need, strong when it calls, and sacred always💕

May is here

Today went out tried to sketch no motivation, nothing interesting really.

Ok but can we talk about how different each phase of the menstrual cycle feels?? like you’d think it’s just “period = sad” but no babe, it’s a whole seasonal shift in your body every month.

bleeding days? emotional fog. kind of dreamy, kind of raw. i wanna disappear and reappear as a wiser version of myself.

then suddenly i’m glowing?? follicular phase hits and i’m making playlists, plotting my entire life, falling in love with strangers on the street.

ovulation? don’t talk to me i’m the sun. i could seduce gods. i’m flirty, social, magnetic, and fully convinced i’m that girl, Angel!

but then luteal phase slaps me with a cosmic “slow down.” i start overthinking, wanting to delete my whole internet presence, (the amount of times I've deactivated my insta is crazy) crying over a tiktok of a dog getting a new toy or that one guy who lost is mom, held her funeral pic with his dad, then the next slide is him holding his dad's funeral pic, that devastated me, this phase makes the world feel loud.

and the wildest part? it’s predictable. it’s a cycle. we’re not crazy, we’re syncing with an inner calendar nobody taught us how to read.

there’s so much i wanna say on this. like how to work with your cycle instead of fighting it. how to rest, create, reflect, and thrive depending on the phase you’re in. but i’ll save all that for the full post.

just wanted to say: you’re not lazy, moody, clingy, or cold. you’re probably just in a different phase. and that deserves softness, not shame.

x

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Coming up with a new plan that won't have to wait for May. Did nothing much, had an early breakfast and decided not to fast lol, I need to write something for substack and check my applications statuses. I was pressured to apply to unis today, but tbh I didn't think I'd be alive at 19 to even make such a decision lol. I want to bit study in the country I am currently residing in, I'd live to go abroad, I meannnn, I'm not studying Italian for shits and giggles lol... Urgh idk I'm watching The truth on Netflix rn, it's interesting kinda the same like million dollar secret.

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I believe its time for me to lock in and sign with a modelling agency asap🙏

These ones on the left were from 2023/24 I think... The ones on the right were from last month's casting I went to.

I need to be on the runway before I turn 20 😔💔

Gonna exercise rn and take a shower before bed. Tomorrow I will take new proper digitals and measurements, hopefully seeing the numbers will trigger something in my lasy ass 💀😭.

Stats I know

Height : 180cm/5'11

Weight : ≈63kgs

april’s vibe: hyperfixation as a lifestyle choice

okay, so. i’ve decided april is the month i weaponize my obsessive tendencies. we’re structuring this like a villain origin story meets a Pinterest vision board. no chill, just results. here’s the plan:

DAILY NON-NEGOTIABLES (because autopilot is for airplanes)

-

Mornings: Alarm goes off at 6:30 AM. no snooze, no TikTok rabbit holes. i splash cold water on my face like i’m in a montage. breakfast is ✨liquid✨—black tea, hibiscus, whatever. fasting till 3 PM because hunger is just capitalism’s way of distracting me.

-Workouts: Leg day? Arm day? Every day Squats, lunges, push-ups, planks—yes, even the thigh gap sculpt stuff. ugh. cardio is me speedwalking away from my own intrusive thoughts.

-Afternoons: Hyperfocus mode. coding lessons, Neocities updates (my 2003-core html shrine), job applications (two a day, minimum), and drawing my OCs like they’re my emotional support imaginary friends.

-Evenings: Pretend i’m a mysterious artist. video diaries no one will ever see. practicing model poses in the mirror like i’m about to walk NYFW. reading UX/UI textbooks in Italian? Sure. Phone off by 9 PM to avoid doomscrolling into the abyss.

WEEKLY MISSIONS(to avoid becoming a goblin)

-

Week 1: Reset. Clean my room, delete 1,000 screenshots, make a moodboard that’s 70% anime OCs and 30% “hire me” energy.

- Week 2: Delulu escalation. Apply to jobs while listening to “I Am the Best” by 2NE1. Code a webpage that’s just a PNG of a frog. Detox Sunday: no internet, just me and my sketchbook.

- Week 3: Break the comfort zone. Post a cringe video diary. Walk like i’m in Black Swan but make it fashion.

- Week 4: Final boss mode. Five job apps in a day. Code a feature that’s definitely overkill. Compare progress pics and pretend i don’t scream internally.

WHY? Because by May, i want to look in the mirror and see someone who’s 10% hotter, 50% more employable, and 100% more feral about their dreams. The kind of glow-up that makes people side-eye me in the grocery store. Skinny toned legend who. Me. Exactly.

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😛 - substack version

open.substack.com

The Art of Breathing

Breaking the Trance of Creative Stagnation

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I think I'll create soon, I feel it, I know I will because I desire to create.

The only thing that was stopping me was my close-mindedness, my habit of only thinking inside the box, and being too comfortable with the known.

That is why I have been having an art block, because the only art that I know is self-portraiture. It's what I find comfort in; it's what I'm used to, and it is second to breathing for me.

However, my lack of willingness to explore other realms in art or anything else in general makes something so dear to me feel mundane and automated. As a result, I have no desire to look forward to it.

If I tell you that you are breathing, you will, for a moment, recognize that you are, in fact, breathing and maybe even start doing it manually before you go back to normal. It's like you've become aware... And you have!

And that's definitely what I should do with art, just like how I reminded you that you are breathing, I should remind myself that I am an artist, and by doing that, I'll have someone, or rather, a different branch in art remind me who I am.

Making yourself aware that you're breathing is not the same as me doing it out of nowhere, much like how I know I'm a self portraiture artist, then I'll be like OK and? But if I tell myself I do animation or crafts or 3d art then I'll be like 'wait, but I do self portraiture don't I?' And suddenly my appreciation is back...

Does this make sense, or am I trying too hard? Or are my thoughts translating poorly into text? I might have to write a longer version of this musing for Substack.

Angel x.

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Nothing exciting happened today, just scrolling the communities and daydreaming. Time of the month where I've gotta pay the WiFi but I don't, so I'm using my data :/

I'm gonna try drawing tonight. I don't know what but it's calling me to bring it to life. I should probably read a book too...

OH I FINISHED LUCIFER YEYEYYEE, I loved that show so much! Time to finish Dr House md. I wouldn't have changed the way Lucifer ended, but I'd love a special episode, but I suppose I can do without it.

10/10 show would recommend 🥲🫶🏾.

210325

Update: I went to the casting but I don't think I got in. They made us walk and nothing more, no chitchat, just writ your name age and contacts, walk in front of the panel, then give the paper with the details and leave.

Well, unless you were given back the paper with a tick added to it, and then you're measured and taken pictures of Infront of everyone — and as you've probably guessed by now, I wasn't part of the latter 😬.

I'll just send pics to agencies via dms, emails, and website applications.

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Today also has a pretty date imo.

Why did no one tell me that YouTube is no longer available on my iPhone 6+

WHY WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭💔💔💔

Anyways, did nothing much today, except exist and editing my invite only YouTube video for my friends 😊

Keep in mind, I am 180cm tall, that is 5'11, and I checked the agency, its legit and they came to my country to scout for potential new models. I also feel like they don't have that many Black girls signed to them which is why they're scouting on my ends. I'm anxious coz I'm not exactly the skinny type they have on their site, but I'm also not chubby, I'd say my weight is OK for my height, on the leaner side.

I've had dreams of modelling because I love my height so much, like soooo much. But I get anxious thinking I'll walk weirdly or make a fool out of myself in front of the panel... I might think I'm eating up the walk, but in reality my body moves awkwardly and rigidly 😭.

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Made my hair! Love the twists🙇🏾‍♀️

I did half of my sudoku puzzle of the day, mostly binged Lucifer while on Pinterest #pip #andriod, and did nothing much except sit from 3 to 8 pm and do my hair.

I could do a face reveal but I don't know 🫣.

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Too much to talk about, undoing my hair rn, did a sudoku puzzle 😝, might do 1 more b4 bed, I'm enjoying this.

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Hello Angels, hope your having a wonderful day🙇🏾‍♀️ check out my super secret substack, no one else knows about it from my main account except you guys on tumblr! It's my alter ego that I get to share on this site :)

open.substack.com

I Want To Die

The Weight of Existing When You Never Asked To

OK, the title is a bit ominous 😅 But have a read, and if you feel like it, subscribe for more 🫶🏾.

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Ate nothing till dinner, so pretty good fast actually, but I stayed in my room the entire day too which was beyond mundane, its insane out here. Was on the call with my BFF and power cut but its back now so I'll go text her sorry or something. Im in SZN 5 of Lucifer and I keep getting edits of the show and I don't recognise some scenes so I freak out and just favourite all the edits I came across, so that once I'm done with the show I can enjoy the edits.

Overall the most boring day on earth, 2/10.

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Woke up at 1pm today 😃

I'm being left on delivered rn after giving my best art advice...

Tomorrow I have to write something or finish my drawing.

But boring day tbh. ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT, FINE SHYT FOLLOWED ME BACK AHHHSKJDJDJKKDNDKEKJD

Forgot to add that I got this book yesterday, was debating btwn this and Persuasion, but sense and sensibility was cheaper and it seems like it would be a promising read that won't bore me too much...

5/10 day, mid.

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I feel like I've forgotten to do something...

Anyways, my friend made me download among us and we didn't even end up playing it together... I walked the whole day, my legs feel jelly (I forgot to stretch in the morning) 12k steps today,fasted, ran— or rather walked errands.

Lucifer, good food, talking to my friend and that's it.

The Tragic Cycle of Wired Headphones: A Self-Reflection

You know that moment when you buy a fresh pair of wired headphones and make a silent promise to yourself? This time will be different. This time, you won’t shove them into your bag like some kind of deranged squirrel hoarding acorns. You won’t yank them out of your phone like you’re trying to start a lawnmower. You will treat them with care, with respect.

And yet.

Somehow.

Here you are. Again. Another pair, dead. The left earbud? Gone. The right one? Hanging on for dear life, whispering faintly, like it’s calling out from the afterlife. You stare at it, baffled. How? HOW did this happen? You were careful. You learned from the last five pairs. Didn’t you?

No. You didn’t.

Because the truth is, you’ve said this every time. Every. Single. Time. Your history is littered with the ghosts of headphones past—frayed wires, sound cutting in and out like a broken radio transmission, rubber casings peeling back to reveal the fragile, suffering wires inside. You think about how they got here. The careless wrapping around your phone. The times you let them dangle from your pocket like an afterthought. The fact that, at least once, you definitely fell asleep with them still tangled around you like a techno-umbilical cord.

And this—this isn’t just about headphones. No. This is about you. About your patterns. Your delusions. The fact that you keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.

Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

Maybe it’s a metaphor. Maybe your headphones die because you don’t handle delicate things well—physical or emotional. Maybe you ignore problems until they break. Maybe you see the warning signs—the faint crackle in the audio, the slightly exposed wire—and you pretend everything’s fine. It’s fine. It’s FINE. Until one day, it isn’t.

Or maybe, hear me out, wired headphones are simply not meant to last. Maybe they are built to self-destruct, to betray us, to force us into this never-ending cycle of grief and rebirth. Maybe we are all just victims of a larger force—planned obsolescence, capitalism, the cruel inevitability of entropy.

Or maybe, just maybe… I need to stop buying $3 gas station headphones and expecting them to last a lifetime.

Anyway. If you see me buying another pair tomorrow, no you didn’t.

I (edit: recently viewed a video indicating that some people may not recognize what an em dash is, and that using it could lead to assumptions of AI usage. I would like to clarify that I do not utilize AI; I merely use an em dash when it is suitable for its intended purpose.)

The Dance of Fate and Free Will

Do we really have free will, or is everything already mapped out for us?

It's the kind of question that's kept philosophers, poets, and theologians up at night for ages. Just asking it feels like standing on a beach, staring out at this massive ocean where what's logical and what's just plain mysterious kind of blend together. If it's all predetermined, then are our choices just an act? Are we just going through the motions in a play we didn't even write? But if we do have free will, then what's setting the limits on what we want, what we can do, and those invisible walls that pop up in our lives?

This push and pull – this back-and-forth between fate and our own choices – it's really what being human is all about, isn't it?

The Illusion of Choice

We like to think we're in the driver's seat, right? Every day, we get up and decide what to wear, what to eat, who to love, who to say goodbye to, and the kind of person we want to become. The world tells us if we just try hard enough, if we're disciplined and really want it, we can create any future we can imagine. "You can be anything," they say. But, can we, really?

Think about how life actually plays out. The family we're born into, the country we call home, the body we're in, those moments of pure luck or just plain bad luck that shape us – we didn't pick any of that. Someone born into a wealthy family in a rich country will never know what it's like for a kid born into war somewhere else. Someone who bumps into their soulmate on a train – are they really more deserving of love than someone who just happened to be on a different train that day? So much of who we become, it's just not in our hands, no matter how much we wish it was.

Even neuroscientists are saying our brains make decisions before we even realize it. If a machine can guess which button you're gonna press before you even "choose" it, what does that tell us about free will? Are we just following a script, but we're tricked into thinking we're the ones writing it?

The Beauty of Predestination

And yet, there's something strangely comforting about the idea that it's all already decided. If fate is a real thing, then nothing is truly wasted. The heartbreaks, the screw-ups, the chances we missed – they all had to happen exactly like they did. You were never meant to end up with that person, never meant to get that job, never meant to be anywhere else but right here, right now. In a way, it takes this huge, exhausting weight of regret right off our shoulders.

Some of the most peaceful people I've ever met are the ones who truly believe in destiny. They just trust that what's meant for them will find them, and what's not will just fade away. They move through life with this quiet confidence, like they're not even bothered by problems. There's a kind of beauty in just letting go and going with the flow, seeing life as something that just unfolds, instead of something we have to fight and control all the time.

But Then Again, What If?

But even if it's all predetermined, does that mean we should just give up and do nothing? If a river already knows it's going to end up in the ocean, does it just stop flowing?

Maybe free will isn't about controlling everything, the whole grand plan, but about how we feel it. Maybe the whole point is just the joy of making choices, of having dreams, of just acting on whatever we feel like doing in the moment. Even if your future is set in stone, isn't there something exciting about not knowing what's around the corner? If fate is real, then so is the amazing thing of being clueless about it. You still get to feel things, to move, to chase after whatever calls to you. And isn't that a kind of freedom in itself?

Think about this: Say your fate is to become a painter. But the second you pick up a brush for the first time, it just clicks. It feels like your choice, like you discovered something amazing. That feeling of joy, it was always going to happen, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it? Maybe you were always meant to read this, to think about this, to feel that little spark of "aha!" Maybe even the feeling of free will is part of the plan, and isn't that actually kind of a relief?

So, whether you're team fate or team free will, live like your choices actually matter. Love like it wasn't already written in the stars. Create like it wasn't a done deal. Because, when you think about it, if destiny does exist, it's probably already figured in your rebellious side anyway.

With thoughts of G♡

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Today in two words: Chess, Lucifer

White wins (I bullshited every move)

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Watching Newtopia as I type this, I know I won't finish ep1 cause I'm already suffering Lucifer withdrawals (I'm alr in szn4)

Need. More. Lucifer.

030325 (something about the date makes me happy

Alright guys, no more entries unless my day is interesting. People seem to like lists or writings or advice. I mean I used to post that type of content and got a lot of engagement, meaning I was actually adding value to someone's life, which is what I truly intend.

Besides, this decision isn't so bad, to be honest. Today wasn't fruitful; I spent the day in bed to the point that I became uncomfortable lying down, as if all my blood was pooling down. I even fasted until 5 PM. The most productive thing I've done today was my Italian lessons. 👍

And that's OK, I can always have another day to start over. :)

And yes I binged Lucifer, yes I had to bring him up again.

Free will

Write a letter to your future self and seal it for next year

Break one routine just to see what happens

Say yes to something you’d usually decline, just for the plot

Make one decision purely on intuition, no logic involved

Practice doing things without documenting them: no photos, no notes, just presence

Go somewhere new without checking reviews first

Pick a book blindly, first one you touch, you read

Have a conversation where you only ask questions, no statements

Order something totally random at a café, no overthinking

Try fully disagreeing with someone in a debate just to explore another side

Walk a different route than usual and pay attention to new details

Give yourself one day to act like a completely different version of yourself

Spend a whole day making choices like a child; curious, playful, unfiltered

Ask a stranger for a book, movie, or music recommendation and actually try it... ACTUALLY

Give something away without expecting anything in return

Try doing the opposite of your instinct just to see where it leads

Write a personal philosophy: what do you actually believe about life?

Spend a full day in silence, no speaking, just observing

Set a personal rule for the day, no lying, no complaining, no autopilot responses

Go on a walk and let a random object or sign dictate where you turn

Pick a past “what if” and go do it now, no excuses

Invent a personal holiday and celebrate it however you want

Try making an important decision without asking anyone for advice

Spend a full day making choices as if you're already the person you want to become

Do one completely pointless but deeply satisfying thing—just for the joy of it

Let go of one belief or habit that no longer serves you, just to see how it feels

Set a rule for yourself: every time you feel hesitation, do the thing anyway

Pick a random topic and learn about it like you’re preparing to give a TED Talk (I'd choose to talk about my art)

Make one small but bold move that shifts the trajectory of your life, even slightly