So... I am thinking of creating a podcast. It would kind of be like the Magnus Archives, in the sense that every episode is its own small story (and maybe connected to a larger frame?). Only instead of horror, it’s urban fantasy, loosely inspired by Scottish mythology. And instead of an Archivist, it is told by Gabri, a women in her early thirties running a small antique store. She uses magic to pull the memories from objects; memories she assembles, smooths out and collects. Prepare for a lot of faeries, magic lore, awkward apprentices, extravagant antique-sellers, apparitions, foggy autumn feelings and summonings. Would this be something you people would listen to?
This is what I am writing!! Befuddled early twenties! Panicked late twenties! Falling in love again - and it’s still hard. Maintaining a relation - also hard! Hunting down a crime organization while trying to organize a found family - very hard!
we need more books that are written like YA novels but have characters in their 20s… like I can’t keep reading books about teenagers but I’m also not ready for the weird adult romance section of the book store
effort
the most important step a man can take. it's not the first one, is it? it's the next one. always the next step.
-brandon sanderson, oathbringer
as a year begins, the jokes about how arbitrary it really is begin again, and it is! but i think we need this measure. for the same reason dark humour exists, comedy works to introduce things we wish not to talk about into conversation. the onus, then, is on you. how serious about it do you have the strength to be? i will try to be a little: as all of us do, i have struggled with constant stimulation, the perpetual onslaught it arrives with, and it has severely reduced my ability to read, one of my favourite companions throughout my childhood, and i've missed it for a while, only reading once in a few months for the past couple of years, and i always felt a bit— shit about it. but then kanaad got me ensnared in the cosmere just enough to get my momentum, and the rest is history, and i'll always be grateful. “look, mom, i took the next step.”
as you can tell from the opening line, i intended to begin this with the year, but i didn't know what to write in it, so we write it at the beginning of february, and consider it equivalent (they're arbitrary anyway). i've been thinking about the word ‘effort’, and the negative connotation it carries. yes, many things require attention, but is that really so bad? it took me effort to learn a more adept way to play the keys of a piano, it took me effort to start ‘a song of ice and fire’, an exceedingly complicated book, it took me effort to learn how to make friends when i first left home, but wasn't it fun, the effort itself? i didn't anticipate my stream of thought leading me to use another stormlight archive quote, but it is relevant, so:
life before death. strength before weakness. journey before destination.
-brandon sanderson, the way of kings
sometimes, i get entrenched in the journey so much i forget the destination itself was a beautiful place, and when i realise the gift that awaits me, i think i understand what he meant. enjoy the ride, you will reach somewhere as beautiful as you are.
passivity
what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or have ever had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else.
-user @pollen
what's the thing you're most proud of doing in 2024? there has been a recent movement in the recommendations i have been receiving across my media consumption sites. (not the professional ones, just public sites). even though i've been off most social media for a while now, towards the end, i'd been receiving more and more stuff that just said: leave, take a break, breathe. the very nature of hyperpersonalisation states that i could be watching things that none of you have ever reached through endless scrolls. when any of those creators ask: “what is your hobby?” and before you can "answer" them, they quickly add a caveat. “media consumption is not a hobby!” and maybe it's not. but why?
what did you do this year? my friends asked me as it ended, and i paused for a second. what had i done? then i remembered, i've started writing a blog (semi-regularly), i've tried to start learning the ukulele, and as i string this thought process along, i've started realising: it's just action, isn't it? you have to choose to do it.
what question does the trolley problem pose at its core? would you choose to take one death on your conscience, or let five deaths simply happen, as deaths do? are you strong enough to make that choice within a split second? now, consider the inverse: are you willing to take action, choose to do something that's going to improve you as a person that's not simply passive intake of media, bearing the cost of effort? and if the choice sounds obvious, why is it so hard?
what do i want to say? i'm not always sure. maybe i just want to tell all of you: there's nothing like the feeling of having done something well, so please do it as much as you can. maybe i just want to tell all of you: i will be very proud of you if you try. maybe i just want to tell you: i care about you. i would be very happy if you were happy with yourself. you got this. i'm here for you.