Nishimura - Blog Posts

It Was Never Just Fun (two)

part one.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

࿐ ࿔:･ﾟPairing: fwb!rikix female!reader

࿐ ࿔:･ﾟGenre: angst

࿐ ࿔:･ﾟWarnings: curse words

──── ୨୧ ────

Riki didn’t go back inside the party. He couldn’t.

Not when his mind was still stuck on the way y/n had looked at him—like she was done, like she was finally slipping through his fingers, and he had no one to blame but himself.

He stood there on the sidewalk long after she left, staring at the empty street, fists clenched at his sides. His whole body felt tense, like he was seconds away from breaking something.

She wanted him to say it.

To admit it.

But how the fuck was he supposed to say something that terrified him?

riki had never been good at feelings. He didn’t do relationships. Didn’t do commitment. It was easier not to care, to keep things simple.

But y/n wasn’t simple, She never had been.

And now, she was gone.

The thought alone made his stomach sink.

He pulled his phone out, fingers hovering over her contact. He wanted to text her—say something, anything to fix this. But what the fuck was he supposed to say?

“Sorry for being emotionally unavailable?”

“Sorry for acting like you didn’t mean something when you fucking do?”

He scoffed, shoving his phone back into his pocket. He had no right to text her. No right to chase after her when he was the one who pushed her away.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting to.

y/n was still wide awake when her phone buzzed at 2 a.m.

She knew who it was before she even looked.

Riki.

She stared at the screen for a long moment, her chest tightening. She wanted to ignore it. She should ignore it.

But she didn’t.

Riki: Are you home?

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Her first instinct was to leave him on read. Let him wonder. Let him feel even an ounce of what she felt tonight.

But she hated that she still cared.

y/n: Why do you care?

Three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then came back again.

Riki: Just answer the goddamn question.

She exhaled sharply, rolling onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle. He wanted to know she was safe, but he couldn’t just say that.

y/n: Yeah, I’m home.

She expected him to leave it at that. Maybe even say good. But instead—

Riki: Open the door.

Her breath caught.

She sat up so fast she got dizzy, eyes widening at the message. He’s here?

y/n hesitated for half a second before throwing the covers off and heading for the door. When she swung it open, Riki was standing there, hood up, hands shoved into his pockets, looking every bit as reckless and conflicted as she felt.

She crossed her arms. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He exhaled, dragging a hand down his face. “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit.”

His jaw clenched. “I just—I couldn’t—” He let out a frustrated sigh. “I didn’t want to leave it like that.”

She laughed dryly. “So what? You’re here to apologize?”

Riki looked at her, and something in his gaze made her stomach twist. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, y/n. I just know I couldn’t sleep knowing you were pissed at me.”

She shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You don’t get to do this, Riki. You don’t get to act like you care but refuse to actually say it.”

His expression hardened. “You think this is easy for me?”

“Yes!” she snapped. “Because you get to have it both ways. You get to keep me close enough when you need me but push me away when it gets too fucking real.”

He flinched, and for the first time, she saw it—fear. Not anger. Not frustration. Just pure, unfiltered fear in his eyes.

She softened. Just a little.

“Why are you so scared of me?” she asked, voice quieter now.

He looked away, jaw tight. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” she insisted. “You’re scared of us. Of what this could be. And you’d rather destroy it before it even happens than admit that you actually—”

“Don’t,” he cut her off, voice strained.

She sucked in a breath. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t fucking say it.”

“Say what?” she pressed. “That you care?”

He exhaled sharply, like the word itself was suffocating him.

y/n let out a humorless laugh. “You know what’s funny? You’ve already lost me, riki. And you still can’t say it.”

Silence.

Just his heavy breathing, her pounding heart, and the tension so thick she felt like she might choke on it.

She took a slow step back. “Go home, riki.”

His jaw clenched, hands twitching at his sides, like he wanted to reach for her but didn’t know how.

He didn’t move.

Neither did she.

Until finally, she took another step back and shut the door in his face.

And this time, he let her.

──── ୨୧ ────

masterlist

sooo what do we thinkkk??? I’m almost done writing the last part and I’m so tempted to finish it todayyy

reblog and comment <3