Not Sure If Trolling Or Just Incredibly Stupid - Blog Posts
21 “Facts” that Evolutionists can’t Answer
Challenge accepted.
1. Why are the planets round?
Wait, what? I thought you said Evolutionists? planetary formation has nothing to do with Evolution, would you ask a botanist about how plant pots are made? Okay, so I’ll answer anyway, because gravity.
2. Go to a zoo and tell me - why doesn’t a chimpanzee give birth to a man?
Maybe it’s having a girl instead? Or maybe it’s because they’re two separate species that share a common ancestor.
3. Have you ever seen a mountain form?
Again with the unrelated to evolution questions. No, I actually haven’t seen a mountain form, have you? Oh you haven’t either? So obviously the default position must be ‘God done it’ in spite of the fact that I don’t believe the formation of mountains is actually referenced anywhere in the bible. Plate tectonics clearly had nothing to do with it </sarcasm>
4. Why doesn’t new life show up in a jar of peanut butter?
Because if I wanted new life, I’d order crunchy peanut butter. Oh wait, no, that’s not the reason, the reason is that we don’t even really know for sure what the circumstances were when life first formed, it might not be possible to replicate them in a lab, let alone in a jar of peanut butter.
5. If the big bang started as a singularity, who held up the singularity?
What? what the fuck? just what? are you high?
6. A painting had a painter, therefore the universe had a maker
false equivalence. With a painting, you can see the signature, you can check the paperwork that comes with it to confirm its validity, you can take off tiny flakes of the paint to check that they conform with the paints that would have been used at the time, please do enlighten me as to how you plan to do that with the universe, I’d love to know.
Apparently the number 7 is against their religion.
8. How can you explain gravity?
With science.
9. If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
Please see my answer to question 2, or better yet, hit yourself with that bible of yours a few more times, kthx.
10. If the world is millions of years old, why is it 2008?
Oh no, the killer question, you’ve got me, I repent! Wait, no, I’ve just remembered we have this thing called a dating system that started (now) 2015 years ago based on (someone’s best guess of) when Jesus was born (making the generous assumption that he lived in the first place).
11. If I throw dirt up in the air, what are the odds that it will come down in the form of a living man?
Almost exactly 0%, y’know why? because when you throw dirt in the air, all you get is dirt in your eyes, but hey, in the spirit of science why don’t you try it a few hundred times while we all watch? won’t that be fun.
12. Can you see Electricity?
Yeah actually you can, ever seen lightning or a tesla coil?
13. Science changes, the book of Genesis is perfect
Yes, science does change, you’re right, when it discovers something that contradicts something it already knew or just something new entirely, it changes, that’s called learning. I find it amusing that you consider Genesis perfect, I’d like to know which of the two creation stories in Genesis is the true one?
14. The holy bible is the truth, because the bible says it’s the truth
Well that’s nice, it must be true if it says it in a book, enjoy your circular logic.
15. Evolution is a religion, Science leads to killing people
Oh no, we’re not going there, Evolution is a Scientific theory, science is a tool that people may occasionally use to kill each other, but then you could say that about a lot of tools. You know what’s been used to incite most of the conflicts that the products of science were used in? religion.
16. Scientists around the world are jointly involved in a conspiracy against God.
I was right earlier, you are high.
17. Bananas are perfectly designed for the human hand.
Yeah, we tailored them to be easier to grow and easier to eat, using a thing called selection. Coincidentally a natural version of that is a mechanism of evolution.
18. Millions of years for a monkey to turn into a man? Monkeys don’t live that long.
Yeah, high as a kite.
19. Why would a man have sex with a monkey?
I’ll counter this with a non-sequitur of my own; Why are religious people obsessed with sex?
20. Archaeologists want to remove the human remains first when they find a dinosaur so they can lie
Evolution can’t melt steel beams man.
21. If a monkey gave birth to a man, who would he or she mate with?
Please see question 2 and resume hitting yourself with your bible.
Not sure if trolling or just incredibly stupid misuse of science.
1. There haven’t been ~7 Billion people on this planet for all 3 Billion years, the world’s population has doubled within living memory, besides you haven’t taken into account animals which vastly outnumber us on this planet - This is only a minor criticism by comparison to the following;
2. Water is one of the most recycled substances on the planet - every time we breathe out and every time we urinate and even when we die, the water we have ingested goes back into the cycle - there is the same amount of water on this planet as there was two thousand years ago (give or take a few gallons that we’ve put into space)
So either successful troll is successful or someone needs to go back to Elementary school and actually pay attention… My faith in humanity rather hinges on it being the former instead of the latter.
