Not That Big - Blog Posts

A couple of weeks ago, I had an incident where I was openly invalidated and shamed for being closeted by two people I trusted. As someone who has struggled with internalized homophobia in my youth from my environment growing up and is still closeted to my loved ones, this situation has weighed heavy on me.

Yet, these past two Harry Styles shows, I felt the courage (alongside my friend) to display my identity in the most public of ways by waving a bi flag. The first night, I was overwhelmed with all the love and support from everyone who saw our flag draped over the balcony— both in-person and in photos/videos/livestreams. The second night, we were able to be in the pod next to the catwalk, and wave our flag during Lights Up where Harry looked directly at us. He didn’t interact with it, but just knowing he saw it— he saw me with such a big part of me grasped tightly in my hand, it felt unreal. I’m so fortunate for Harry and the space he’s given me for years to be myself and to love myself when I feel otherwise, because I don’t think I would’ve been as comfortable or as free as I did these past two nights with that flag if it hadn’t been for him and this special space he’s created. I cant thank him and my friend enough for allowing me to be myself during such a rough time. Just happy. Yeah ✨🤍