Observation - Blog Posts
1 to few crosses: religious
bunch of crosses everywhere: definitely gives the dark & witchy victorian vampire vibes
You once mentioned transcending class boundaries under the spell of a man's manliness... sounds like an interesting story, tell us more?
I thought I had already written about it, or maybe I didn't. Not sure. If not, maybe will write about it someday.
What I mean is a continuation of what I've been telling. My being with men isn't necessarily always out of romantic interest. In most cases they have been out of the primal urge. For that urge to be generated, all that matters is the right mix of hormones from the two partners. It doesn't depend on the financial or societal or any other attributes.
And that happened with me too when I met someone and just like that the hormones in me mixed to be just right to feel drawn to him and be with him.
Maybe someday will write about it when I get the right feel to.
Damn lady, you should write erotica! Autobiographical or not. If you want to stay anonymous, well, Belle de Jour did it before.
Nyaah, I think the only reason people read my posts are because of the photos that I reblog alongwith. And yeah, writing is serious stuff. What I do is thought-dumping of my experiences.
Btw, I actually had to Google to find out about BdJ.
Did you ever have any issues with jilted lovers?
Fortunately not. Maybe because most men who've come into my life were very aware that I wasn't seeking a lover, nor were they expected to behave likewise.
The separation that happened from the few 'lovers' that I had, had mostly been due to reasons which we both knew and reconciled with, for eg relocation. So I've never had to get too concerned about jilted lovers. Yes, there have been proposals that I refused but there have been no repercussions. In some rare instances my refusal was the not accepted and his persistence made me reconsider my decisions. But again, mostly been lucky that there have been no after-effects.
"... Mind turning around?"
(Repost - after Tumblr moral policing)
It is indeed funny to observe a fully grown, quite-masculine a man to show his softer side and request for a permission to use my hips. And mind it, it’s not something that’s apparent only in the men I have known before, but even with most that I have been sent as a courtesan to, or even by the ones I got myself ‘hunted’ down and then taken away with him.
I have observed that most men, feel that the conquest over their woman isn’t complete until they have done something that is drastic enough to either make their efforts to do it look satisfactory, or, they have inflicted (which sometimes may just be a belief) pain on their woman to make her cringe before him and submit. Both of these conditions are satisfied when they receive the consent to do it there, for no matter how experienced one is, it still needs effort to get into the ‘position’ and the inflicted ‘pain’ when the union happens.
In either case, an element of force becomes necessary for him to convey the message to the woman that she is his property, for minutes/hours/days, however temporary the ownership is. The need to establish control has been a fundamental criteria, more with the men who have hunted me and those I have been sent to as a part of my courtesan arrangement. My husbands have been more secure and they know that they don’t need to ask me for my permission to use my hips. They have developed the ability to sense my mood and know the answer even before they would ask. The hunters, on the other hand would feel the need to exert authority and it is often when after they have attained the primary satisfaction, and is in mood to pleasure himself once more, would have popped the question, “mind turning around? really feel like using your hips”…well, that’s actually a much watered down version of the actual words used to convey their desire.
Being asked that question makes me feel proud as a woman. It tells me that he found me attractive enough to want to explore more about me. The element of pain involved in allowing a man to 'use my hips’ is always present, but the satisfaction from knowing that I am being owned by him and he is getting satisfaction from ‘using me’ for that phase is exciting enough for me to usually consent to his request for use.
The more I read your blog the more I become convinced that you are actually more a cortisan than a hotwife. While I realize there is no king and court involved your philosophy towards sex and social relationships has led me to this conclusion. I have a feeling though that you will disagree and I cannot wait to read the reasons why. As always I truly enjoy your blog and your thoughts. I think it is your mind that truly makes makes you so desirable to me.
Your observation made me think carefully about myself. I think you have a courtesan, and you also have a hotwife…and then you have probably a mix of the two somewhere (maybe a courte-wife [I took the liberty of naming it]). When I look at myself, I definitely have been a hotwife, and then over time (and much to my conscious disagreement towards usage of the term) a courtesan too. I do not know which of the two roles dominate me. I can understand your conclusion is based on ‘what I have shared here’. But then there are so many others (actually what I have shared is a tiny bit of my life) that I haven’t shared and probably won’t either.While I agree with your conclusion, it is however limited to be based on only what has been shared here, and it is not the complete or the whole truth. Having said that I appreciate your effort to make the observation and do applaud your ability to observe and draw conclusions therefrom.:)
Life Changing Moments…
In teaching there are sometimes life changing moments…
One such moment for me was when I first got sucked into teaching ESL.
Another such moment was when I sat in on an ESL kindergarten class…
I met my first little autistic student.
He was non-verbal and hated colors and loud noises.
His fixation was a car…but it was also me…oddly enough.
Direct eye contact and then a hug…
His teacher discouraged it… It was my first day there and she did not know me.
But I did not mind the hug…
From then on, every time he saw me, he’d rush over to hug me or show me something he worked on in class…
This is how I decided that my next Master’s degree will be in Special Education, one sweet boy who changed my life…
El lado oscuro, 2024 24" x 24"
Autorretrato / Self-portrait
Cuando el azul canta se arroja la tarde en él y los ojos se silencian
Todo en pausa queda solo algún pájaro sin ánimo de molestar irrumpe la quietud
Y su mejor complemento es el grisáceo eco de un viento pasajero que remueve la luz * * * * * El lado oscuro, detalle (autoretrato)
Reflexión icariana
Vuela, no te des vuelta
leve y transparente
siente el rubor
Vuela, no te detengas
que el aire es un instante
y el mundo un sopladón
Vuela, no permanezcas
transmuta en el paisaje
desvanece en su color
Vuela, sube y observa
qué hermosas son las nubes...
¡qué hermosas son las nubes!
y muy lejos está el Sol
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Cielo, 2024
12" x 12"
Oil on panel
Conversación, 2025
24" x 23"
Samsara, 2025 8" x 6" Oil on panel
El taller y la luz de la tarde.
Cine italiano, 2025 19.5" x 22"
Sentinela, 2022 12" x 12"
Manto, 2021 11" x 9" One of my favorites skies from my paintings
Portal, 2018 29" x 22"
Bosque, 2019 30" x 20"
Playa Teresa, 2022 16" x 11"
Autorretrato con astroblemas, 2024
Sketches under light rain
Levitación, 2023 24" x 24" Oil on canvas attached to panel
Sombra, 2020 14" x 18" Oil on canvas mounted on panel
Playa Teresa, 2022 8" x 8" Oil on paper mounted on panel
