On The Road - Blog Posts
What will life look like 2 years from now?
Can I hear the train whistle between the brush of trees?
The howling of coyotes and roars of mountain lions,
Maybe I’ll be cruising down the golden coast.
I’m hungry for it.
Dry toast and black coffee from a waitress named Diane
It’s not just surviving anymore
I’ll feel at home once the ocean breeze hits my face,
Once it takes my hair between its salty grasp.
I’ll feel whole
Unrecognizable
Unknown.
On my own
No one to please
Just me and a couple sand fleas.
journal entry from the road, 1AM 13.08.2023, Istria, Croatia.
Inspired by Keren Cytter’s „White Diaries” I’m launching an irregular series of journal entries from the road (I am on the road pretty much the whole time, since last June). May these entries contribute to my monography or at least to my graduation movie.
I’m in amok. For the most of the day I’ve been in amok. I’ve been calling my friends frantically, talking with them about my next, September journey. Planning things isn’t as exciting as it used to be. Today I’ve committed a faux pas. I gave in to my inner greedy goblin. My friend Joffroy told me that he’s got a spot for a vintage near Lyon. I, blinded by vision of being 1800 euros richer enthusiastically signed up, even tho I’ve dropped out of it almost a month ago. Five minutes before that I’ve been bitching to my parents that I feel like I’m being fucked over by my friends, cause I try to make everyone feel good and combine their busy calendars with my urge to go to Latvia to see art and drop acid and whatever else do nomadic art students do when they don’t attend universities. As soon as I announced my decision to leave for a vintage in France, to my Latvian crew they got angry, rightfully. I lacked empathy for my koibito, since we wouldn’t see each other for over 4 months and I didn’t even tell them in a separate call or message bout that. They told me they felt very sad. They were right, it was too sudden, but I was in amok, just today W420’s aunt told us she wouldn’t be hosting us in Berlin, which derailed our summer plans for 7th or 8th time. I took the occasion as it happened, but than I reflected on it realized I could’ve done it more smoothly. I apologized, we sent each others some music we found, it’s better now. Mediatized communication sucks ass. Tomorrow I’m gonna text my koibito I got kicked out anyway since I can’t work for the whole duration of the vintage (that’s 100% true). We’re gonna go to Riga. My parents told Riga is cheap and cool. I don’t have a joint like Cytter does in her diaries, but maybe for the better? It would hurt my lungs and I would get stoned too much, I have weak tolerance. I’m currently living in something that resembles a very luxurious refugee camp, with almost no POC, only rich, white german kids. Imagine 2000 people in tents and vans, crowded, laying almost on another with pitches among those little 5 meter pines. All the way from the mountain to the sea. My dog is getting mad over people walking near the tent. Swimming has cleared my mind. Deep blue of sea depths does its job. I need to sit down and write down some of my research notes for my new movie. I’m gonna build a dirty video mixer. Hopefully with my koibito, we’re gonna play something together. Soon I’m gonna write an analysis about “Parable of the Sower” by Octavia Butler and “Diamond Age” by Neal Stephenson with their implications for further research and my upcoming movie. The landscape is very cowboy here. It’s dry, cut in half with a big road. It’s very sharp and high resolution, like a photo taken on a quality color film. With colors so bright it deceives you at first, that it wasn’t taken on a Texaco station in 1985. This is a landscape Rango wanted to die in.
Ya know, I'm getting pretty fuckin tired of tailgaters on the road. Like istg, almost every time I go out there's some asshole riding my ass. Like wtf? Get off my ass dude. I literally have to speed up just so they leave me alone. I'm literally already going 20 over, why the fuck are you driving so close? I hate their stupid decorations too. Why are there so many people putting strobe lights on the tops of their cars nowadays? It looks stupid and tacky. And they all use the same boring ass unoriginal colors. Blue and red. Blue and red. Blue and motherfucking red. I'm sick of it. Fuck you and fuck your tacky car
Most insane things I’ve seen while on the road:
- mattress on the highway got ran over by a semi. It went under, the semi waddled, the mattress bunched up, then ejected out the other end like a frog. No one was injured.
- “saw” (heard) a boom as a car passed us on a two way. Looking behind, the car was sideways and smoking. We were not hit and did not hit. We assumed a tire blew or something.
- 3 separate 2 car accidents on the same stretch of highway, separated by like a mile each
- Like 17 broken apart black baby dolls on the road. All different brands and not even slightly in one piece?? I have so many questions????
- A deer ran into us. Into the side of our car.
- A gas price that started with a $1.
- A car with red headlights. Or maybe flipped rear and front lights. Or maybe it was somehow driving backwards on the highway…
- A dude on a bicycle that was also a light-up unicorn. It reminded me of that scene in merry poppies with the carousel race.
Untitled, Washington State - 2017
I think Kris will show up on her wedding like in first pic😂. Tho I wanted her to show up in wedding gown.
That cafe society look tho✨🌸😭
I hope edits are not lame.
Henley Monday -
Happy day after Cinco de Mayo everyone! I bet when you woke up today you did not regret one single decision you made yesterday and felt like not just one million, but FIVE million bucks!
Haha, jk guys, I know you're all totes hungover and full of shame and regret for participating in a vaguely racist, meaningless holiday that serves as an excuse to binge drink.
Rergardless of your actions yesterday, you're stuck in a Monday now. A Monday that seems to drag on and on, and so here is Garrett Hedlund looking FOINE as Tom Haverford of Parks&Rec might say. His eyes, that hair, the suede on that jacket over a simple grey henley make Hedlund one very sweet sight for some very sore eyes.
Que se sientan mejor de pronto, mis amigos queridos.
I realized these were all the snapshots which our children would look at someday with wonder, thinking their parents had lived smooth, well-ordered, established-within-the-photo lives and got up in the morning to walk proudly on the sidewalks of life, never dreaming the raggedy madness and riot of our actual lives, our actual night, the hell of it, the senseless nightmare road. All of it inside endless and beginningless emptiness. Pitiful forms of ignorance.
'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac
What is the feeling when you're driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.
'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac