“Bet you $100 that’s infected.”
“I’m not going to coddle you this time, you made the choice to overdo it. Suffer the consequences.”
“One of these days, you’re not going to get back up.”
“You can’t keep rushing headfirst into danger and not expect get hurt!”
“I don’t know who told you you’re invincible, but you’re not.”
“There’s a difference between being brave and being stupid! I don’t know why, but you keep picking ‘stupid!’”
“Um…that is not how bandaids work.”
“I can’t tell if I’m more relieved you survived or angry you almost got yourself killed in the first place.”
“The shape you’re in, you couldn’t even take on a feather duster!”
“What happens when I’m not here to patch you up anymore, huh?”
“Did you make a deal with the devil or is your guardian angel working overtime?”
“You said you had a ‘small injury!’ This is not small!”
“The way you were downplaying this, I thought you stubbed your toe but there is bone coming out of your skin!”
“Sometimes I swear you’re trying to get hurt…”
“I warned you it wasn’t going to go well, but you didn’t listen.”
“You’re looking at weeks of wound healing here. Literal weeks!”
“You’re not familiar with the concept of taking it easy, are you?”
“I’d be surprised if you could make it down the hall without collapse.”