Personal - Blog Posts
Finally got Jynx’s ref sheet done! :’D
My mouse from Transformice Adventures!
And testing a new ear style, it’s definitely easier so woo~
Bit of an art dump!
Been practicing my toony style a lot more for the comic series I’m doing, and I feel I’m starting to get at least a decent grasp on it x’)
I’ve got a big project planned ;)
Though if the meantime I gotta refine this style, hmm..
Impulsively got another character, oops?
Lately I’ve been fleshing out my newest DnD character, so I wanted to update her outfit a bit ^^
TW ! Graphic descriptions of abuse, trauma and self hate
P 0 R N Ø G R ª P H ¥
One topic I hardly ever see anyone talking about is how harmful pornography really is. I remember when I was still innocent and naive, when my cousin invited me to go watch something with her.
It was strange, new, she never allowed me to touch or interact with anything that was hers. As a child who had been in an abusive home, I was always desperate for attention. I didn't show anything back then when I first saw it, but whenever I remember it I force myself to vomit that negative thing out.
Never, regardless of the situation, regardless of the reasons, should a child be exposed to p_rn0graphy. A classmate from my old school wanted to have s** with me in the bathroom when I was nine. A f_cking nine year old student wanted to have s** with a naïve, newly adapting person of their own age.
Giving a child a tablet just to keep them quiet is a sick and unhealthy way to lead them to their doom. Because yes, porn is accessible as fuck. And for a child that you isolate from the world and from yourself, nothing is out of reach for them to want to fit into a group.
I'm never trusting anyone, I'm never looking at my own eyes on the same way ever again. And it's your fault. It's your fault that I always look to the sides, that I always feel disgust when I look at myself. Because nowhere was I enough. Nowhere have I been as beautiful as the p****tes that old ped_philes like to show their p_nises to.
I hate you all.
Now do me a favor and buy me a mask to hide this freak you made me see as my face. It's the only thing I need. To forget...
To stop looking at YOUR action's consequences!
(...)
[April 14, 2025_ 9:20 pm]
Gratitude for reading this far!
please ignore if wanted, this is only venting out my thoughts 💭💭
Is anyone else sometimes forgetting who they are?
There are days where I forget I'm 22 years old, who used to draw her favorite characters, immerses herself in books such as Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, who stayed up as a child and to sneak into the kitchen and make herself strawberry milk, wanting to be a singer when so young and absolutely adored in going to playgrounds.
Whenever I see myself now, I forget that I was someone of my choice. Now, I only wonder what I'll make for dinner for my siblings, which of them are going off with friends and the time they'll be back, if there were days marked for parent-teacher conferences or upcoming performances and their schools, appointments for check-up or needing medicine for fevers, using any money I was gifted whether from birthdays or to buy myself something to get what my siblings need.
I can remember as a child, asides from attending school or visiting families, how normal it is to know how to make a bottle for a baby, to change diapers, to burp them, knowing what they can have and taking care of them whenever the adults were busy.
How normal is it that I learned to know so much for my siblings ever since I was a child, growing up knowing how to raise them, that I don't know what I like for myself anymore?
Do I still draw my favorite characters or whatever comes to mind?
Do I still read those thick books I used to carry everywhere?
Do I still just lay on my back with music playing in the background?
Do I still drink strawberry milk?
Ride bikes?
Karaoke with my cousin?
Why is it that the coffee I first took a sip of as a child now became a refuge to the hereditary migraines and headaches?
Why is it that I can take so much care for others but deny any sickness I'm undergoing to continue chores?
Is it because I'm scared of failing my siblings? Is it because I've grown so use to doing so much that it's unsettling for myself to be able to have time for myself?
Why am I only gaining help now, after my other relatives watched my breakdowns, my sickness from stress to heaving up whatever I had in my stomach, my grandmother whispering poisonous words about my mother to me whenever alone?
Why didn't I have help sooner? Why didn't they help when I had to switch to homeschooling because of my mental health declining and bullying I endured? Why didn't they help when I panicked for my siblings whenever sick, especially one with hydrocephalus? Why didn't they help when they saw me starve myself to give plenty to my siblings?
Why are they acting as if it's all in my head when I mentioned how my siblings and I keep to ourselves, staying out of their way because our mother wasn't allowed back in the house because of their own fault and hers?
I remember sitting in the darkness of the bathroom, hands clenching over the lower half of my face to muffle my crying, eyes burning and ears ringing because of all that I've been through. I remember tears in my eyes the second one of my cousins started yelling at me for something out of my control, nearly attacking me while an uncle watched and did nothing to stop her— only for another cousin to stop her and comfort me after while my siblings watched me.
I felt so pathetic and ashamed, having my siblings' eyes on me as I curled myself on my bed, fingers digging into my face and palms clamped over my lips as I felt my chest buzzing endlessly at the thought of my cousin, the one I considered another sibling, nearly punched me— my uncle watching, arms crossed and body relaxed, didn't move a muscle to intervene, the same man my relatives claim doesn't hate me or my siblings.
How I practically became a mother, unable to finish schooling during COVID-19 lockdown because all of my siblings had their classes, the younger ones needing someone to watch over them. I was 16, maybe 17 when I became their mother, called one by the last born child and sought for by my sibling with hydrocephalus for comfort at night to sleep in my bed and curl to my side.
At the first parent-teacher conference, I broke down because one of my siblings' elementary teacher saw how tired I was and helped with getting on my feet for GED.
I can't talk to the friends I had in highschool before transferring to homeschool because I'm no longer knowing who they are or become. Having no chances at dating with being so focused on my siblings and the social anxiety I have, not even knowing myself as I used to.
"You're over exaggerating."
"Learn to trust people."
"You're so independent."
"Your siblings are so dependent on you."
Words upon words, statement after statement, criticism after criticism.
I get so overwhelmed, overstimulated by stress and trying to do everything but then get told off as exaggerating what I do for my siblings.
I can't trust my relatives for my mom's side because so many have hurt me verbally, emotionally, mentally and nearly physically— I take so much from them to avoid it ever reaching my brothers and sisters, to where only tidbits of their nastiness reached the older ones.
I didn't want independence in the way it came. I needed others to see me drowning, see me reaching out to them when it became too much, shouldering and balancing too much on my plate, only to be dubbed as independent and thought as not needing assistance in any shape or form.
My siblings are dependent on me because they kicked out their father, they kicked out their mother, they never attended their conferences, they didn't see their first steps, they weren't the someone who cooked their food, did their laundry, showered them, cared for them when sick.
Hell, they only started helping now, only one of them is attempting to gain guardianship approved by our mother, only they have helped with getting what my kids need, their appointments, checking their grades.
I try to get back to writing, by gods I try, my mind spiraling with ideas of characters I break myself into pieces to create.
I try drawing again, each sketch lighthearted and faint in the light.
I try sewing to repair my clothes.
I try so much that it strains my aching body to relax and understand only now I'm getting the help I needed so long ago. I wonder if that small child from so long ago, who'd run for ladybugs and sing to the songs their mother grew up with, would ever come out to the light where there's no screaming aimed our way,
no argument so loud they'd cover their ears and clench their eyes shut,
no dizziness when having to get up and missing chances to eat for others to have,
no buzzing in their chests from the anxiety of the outside world.
Would we ever have a chance to build ourselves? Would we ever meet someone who'll stay by our side, grow to understand the meaning behind the eye bags and trembling hands, scratched knees and overstimulated thoughts? Would we ever get back to reading those books again, finding ourselves daydreaming of what'd it be like to be in those pages?
Sorry again for the long rambling and spouting, but I just needed to have it all typed out for now before anymore is thrown my way.
𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐎.
only now realizing how weird it is to start self care after taking care of others for so long; I've been taking care and practically raising my younger siblings for years since I was a child and grew up learning how, so having the house empty, siblings all at their school, I started laughing at how weird it is for using a hydrating sheet mask
may get back into writing after enduring the entire thanksgiving break— not much of a break having all of them home, some sick and others just gremlins
𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙚, 𝙊𝙥𝙝𝙞𝙤!
I won't be sharing my name for personal reasons but I've grown to love the word Ophiomormous, an adjective meaning 'snakelike', hence the nickname and alias Ophio
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨. she/her & they/them
𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮. panromantic
𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨. social anxiety, adhd, insomniac, hereditary migraines
𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙗𝙞𝙚𝙨. writing, reading, cooking, singing with cousin, rambling between different topics
𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨. watching anime, learning different fandoms, being with my siblings, hanging out with my cousin, snakes, tarantulas, dogs, cats, coffee with creamer, boots and platforms, late fall/winter weather, horror movies
𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨. bullying, cleaning hair dye off showers, narcissist relatives, stepping on a Lego followed by stubbing toe (I kid you not, little gremlin siblings plot), left alone in large crowds, green beans, hot and humid weather, wet socks
𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢𝙨 | 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩. one piece, boku no hero academia, kimetsu no yaiba, greek mythology, japanese mythology, mexican folklore, classic disney films, marvel, dc, percy jackson, harry potter (not j.k rowling, especially the entire remus and tonks as two birds with one stone), gravity falls, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, the amazing digital circus, twisted wonderland, the owl house, jujutsu kasien
🖇️ | current concern. always having plenty of instant coffee but never enough creamer
please note I am an adult despite numerous times people were thrown off appearance wise and being mistaken for a minor
any negativity from the following will be blocked/reported:
homophobic, transphobic, racists, xenophobic, antisemitism, sexists, toxicity, perverts, pedophiles, narcissism— to name a few
to the best possible, I would offer advice if asked/wanted in regards to any questions/comments/etc
do not message or comment with the intention of negativity, sexual advances/implications, or shares unwanted opinions to a topic unrelated
If you enjoy reading certain fandoms, I must admit that I may not be the best, but I can provide a link to my writing account where I have posted a few stories/ideas.
I guess I can put a personal art vent here. Basically, I am really anti-ai, a lot of my videos are about that. Sometimes, I get real petty people who go after my person, my life, my intelligence, recently my art.
I am pretty much okay with the goofy.aah comments except talking about my art. I got a "shitty Tumblr artist take".
Except I was never a Tumblr artist, I never had a following here and never posted my art either.
Still kinda shitty cuz i feel my art sucks eternally.
Its early o clock, I'm here unable to sleep after 4 hours like a crazy person. I made 2 videos last night for my channel but I'm not sure why. I think it's mostly because I'm trying not to think of depression quest type shit my husband put me on. He brought up that he'd be crushed if we can't have a child, on top of bringing up the ages of both of our cats.
He has autism, so he kind of gets to bring up the stuff that I don't want to think or talk about it. I dont bring up a lot of my thoughts that bother me because I got some trauma, and only a few people are on my white list. You'd think a husband would be on it, but he's very emotionally sensitive, and I can't put his feelings first when I'm having my own. I'll deal with the negativity first of my feels, and then I'm in a better place to talk to him.
I dont and do mind it. I'm just in a weird place. I don't like to bring up the PTSD thing, but it adds like a coat or filter onto everything.
He's done some things that are shitty, not terrible or traumatizing, but I can't talk about my feels to save his.
Off-topic, I love helping artists see news that effects them when it comes to the AI thing, but now I need to post things that aren't that on my other channel. I shouldn't need validation, though , but I do, and it's annoying.
Fml lol also..morning. the upside is hearing my cats makes the waking up noises.
Who's your BNHA Thirst Daddy? 🤣🤣🤣
I LITERALLY THIRST OVER MOST OF THEM NGL
Do you take NSFW requests? 👀
Why are you asking?? You already know I do, or did the literal two fanfics of pure smut I wrote you go over your head? 🤣
recently became aware of tumblr again and i am making everyones problem. be ready to hear about every single thing that i do with my life
What do you guys think of the future? And in case any adult sees this, did your past plans for the future turn out the way you planned them?
A little thing, a personal grievance, to throw into the void like a note in a bottle.
I know my family isn't perfect; no one's family is. I get that if I want a birthday party I have to arrange it myself. The thing is, I did arrange it, just a little one for family. I made the plans and set things up and... Well, I can't be mad that people came down with the flu. Sickness happens!
So we can postpone it. I'm used to that anyway - Mom and Dad are usually out of town on my birthday, or for several years my birthday was the same day or weekend of the Super Bowl. I'm used to skipping day-of celebrations. So I wait.
I try again some weeks later. Just a little thing for myself and my two siblings. I check in about availability, I let them know the day and time, they know the plan. I've got limited money and energy, but I'm spending it trying to get my family's attention on me like a true middle child.
The day comes, the time ticks by. My brother sends a text that he can't make it, he's burnt out from work. That's okay, that's fine. We'll do something together later! I check in with my sister, reminding her of the party. She says she's too busy today - she's cleaning her house.
I put everything away.
I drank alone for the first time in two years.
I miss my little Poppy Seed.
I'm so sad that we're not together anymore and that I'll never feel flutters or kicks or hear a perfect heart beat.
Something died in me when I lost my little baby.. I'm mourning a life and a future that will never exist and it's heartbreaking.
So for something almost completely different
I've been working on this since the whole situation from February, but I have a Neocities Page Now! This is where I'll be uploading most of my CC that isn't Historical, Medieval or Fantasy related, so far, I've reuploaded most of the stuff that is already on my simblr, but I do have plans to reupload the stuff that was in my defunct livejournal and other places. It's still very much a work in progress, and i'll still be posting updates here for convenience, but feel free to follow me if you have a neocities page, and if you use and RSS Feed Reader, I did finish setting my RSS Feed.
Facelift
Hey, this is a quick text post to say the blog got a bit of a facelift, and I do have an official downloads page now, so you don’t have to scroll through reblogs ands stuff Also though both versions of Barista plus are shown in Mods Category, the one you want is “Rebrewed”, not the first one And on another note, my Livejournal is gone, so expect more reuploads of older CC, Good Thing I had the Foresight to Back up my stuff of Simfileshare when I did
Check-in tag
@mrs-mquve-cc did a general tag to anyone who saw the post, and I decided to be like... sure, why not?
Why did you choose your url?
You know those times when you are in your teens, and you have that one stage you’re obcessing over a thing, and you merge that thing with another one of your favorite thing and you kinda go for that vibe... that’s my url in a nutshell I guess, too much into Wolverine, but it is still a simblr. How long have you been on tumblr?
A good while... 8-9 Years I think
Do you have a queue tag?
Nope
Why did you start your blog in the first place?
Because I wanted to make CC specifically for Sims 3 and Sims 2, now I only want to do CC for 2, so... yeah
Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Because it goes back to what I explained in the first question, also it’s the cover of the first wolverine comic I’ve ever owned, and there’s also a bit of... “Ow the Edge” teen vibe as well... probably need to change that now that I’m thinking about that
Why did you choose your header?
It’s like... default stuff, I liked it, it’s functional... I might change it too eventually
What’s your post with the most notes?
That has to be my coffeesmith project post with all the custom espresso bars and their espresso machine counterparts, aparently people really like those, though I might be concerned not everyone downloaded the proxy GUID mod that let’s the espresso bars spawn npc baristas if the lot is unowned... but hey, it’s other people’s games, not mine.
How many mutuals do you have?
Unsure and afraid to count, probably not that many, although I do try to follow back most people who follow me and also have a Sims 2 Simblr... so who knows
How many followers do you have? How many people do you follow?
207 Followers, and I’m Following 574 people.
Have you ever made a shitpost?
Oh have I ever made a shitpost... I’ve done a lot of shitposting, not here, but I have
How often do you use tumblr each day?
Daily, I have a tab open to check, specially to check fresh new CC
Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?
I haven’t, and I’d rather not throw hands, want to avoid conflict as much as possible, I’m not a very conflictuous person, it might happen, but I try my best that it doesn’t
How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
Well, on one hand, I understand that people want the issues highlighted in those posts to have a broader reach, on the other, not everyone has to reblog everything, specially if they are trying to keep their blogs under certain themes, they’re fine, maybe a bit pushy, but they are fine, nonetheless.
Do you like tag games?
Depends of the game and if I’m feeling it to be honest, but for the most part, yeah
Do you like ask games?
Same response as the last, depends of the game and if I’m feeling it, but yeah, I do them too
Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
I don’t check, probably there’s a couple of my mutuals with a larger following, but I see it more as a vast community rather than someone being Tumblr famous, Also, fame is subjective, I might think a lot of people I know have a large following, while in fact that might not be the case.
Do you have a crush on a mutual?
Nope
Alright, that wraps this up, I’m also gonna do a general tag, If you see this, feel free to consider yourself tagged.
Oh Hi, I almost forgot this was here.
Okay, so i’ve been away for a while (what, 4, 5 years...), at least on Tumblr, i’ve still been showing up on some forums, Mostly The Keep, where i use my old moniker of Sonikku3, The Sims Daily, been there for the last days, will be missed and a couple more here and there, so I wasn’t away, away, just slightly inactive
I have been posting on the Keep for a while, my livejournal has recieved updates, although not as daily, and I haven’t been making as much CC as i’d like, And as much as i’d like to say I want to start doing thins again, it’s probably going to be in small spurts
Probably it will be more sims 2 focused, might go back to 3 CC someday, Sims 4 in not out of the realm of possibilities, but my relationship with that game is... I don’t want to say complicated, but for a lot of features it moves two steps forward, it goes 3 steps back on others... and it just miffs me in a sense, I want to like the game, but then I do get nitpicky with things, oh well, Seasons are coming i’ve seen
i’l probably make a more general tumblr for other games and stuff, and another one for my endeavors as a game dev (been studying game design in college folks, for those of you who’ve been wondering)
other than that, i’ve been doing fine, so, yeah, i’ll be seeing you around
Hi xpurplepiex, I really love your skystar arts, may I ask for the permission to translate and repost to Weibo with your credit and link? Thanks so much for your time. ;)
hellooo and hey, that sounds really cool!! :D you can translate my art and repost it on other sites as long as you will give me credit <3 and thank you too!! 💫💫
Helloooo, Can I use your art as my profile picture? 😔
Do I have to leave credits for using it if that is the case?
YEAP you can!! :D i honestly dont particularly care if you credit me or not its up to you <3 to me its already cool and fun that someone wants to use my art as a pfp!!
every time i think about drawing something actually meaningful the evil part of my brain whispers to me "you need to draw yaoi NOW"
still cant comprehend the thought that i draw mecha, even though all my life i never drew mecha and despised even thinking about drawing it 😭😭