lovesick lily who's just as mad for James and practices steamy pick-up lines on all of her friends to try and be more... sexy?
(Warnings!! Suggestive but not descriptive, nothing but bad pickup lines)
To peter: 'are you the sun? cause you're making me red and wet all over,' which was an immediate no and an insanely loud cackle from Benjy who tried his best to be a good friend and remain serious.
To remus: 'are you a broom? cause I wanna ride you till my legs are shaking,' a maybe, since remus started to blush but that was mostly cause lily said it while helping him apply oil to his scars while in his lap and remus always got nervous in close proximity.
To marlene: 'are you treacle tart? cause... stop laughing!' a no since she couldn't actually finish it because marlene was picturing james 'dick drawing' potter having sex and couldnt stop laughing since she imagined him making the same grandpa noises as he did during practice.
And last, but not least; from sirius, since he didn't want to picture his everything-but-blood brother shagging his everything-but-the-ring sister-in-law because 'do you really think james cares if you're sexy or not? You could show up dressed as a crazy cat lady with the hair-curlers and nightgown and ugly slippers and he'd still think you're the hottest and prettiest thing- ow! woman! he's ever seen. Stop worrying!'
which made lily realise she was being silly, and that if james really broke up with her cause she wasn't sexy enough, he wasn't worth it any way. (She still used the pickup lines on him just to see his reactions and wasn't disappointed when his jaw literally dropped and his pupils dilated)
for Valentine's Day james surprised lily with a huuugggeee bouquet of lilies of the valley not knowing hes allergic to them (and that they're poisonous but he's not eating them). so now he's just all puffy and pouty and lily is insisting that she'd still like him even if he was a puffy swollen allergy-ridden blob for the rest of their lives.
remus thinks it's HILARIOUS and sincerely believes that he'd never be so drunk in love to do something like that. and then his bf walks in and remus accidentally spills ink all over his white dress shirt and is just holding back tears.
peter n benjy + third wheel Marlene r jus chilling on the side watching everything go wrong for all the happy couples. not even in a mean way Peter just likes seeing other people stumble around their partners as much as he does around benjy. And Marlene just likes watching people suffer light-heartedly.
Happy valentines! These r mediocre but I DONT CARE
open ended Remus bf bcuz I ship him w too many people and I've been talking abt moonwater too much ðŸ˜ðŸ˜