Please Be Nice I Tried - Blog Posts

would you fall in love with me again? // s.s.

summary: in the aftermath of allison’s death and the nogitsune’s possession, stiles had pulled away until your relationship snapped. until one night when he has nowhere else to go but your doorstep.

a/n: this is not proofread we die like the suitors in the odyssey ( which is coincidentally the musical of which this fic was inspired by )

a/n: i have been trying to write this for days and i still am not fully happy with it but it is what it is ( also i recommend listening to “would you fall in love with me again” from the epic concept musical by jorge rivera-herrans while reading )

word count: 1k+

you knew things wouldn’t be the same. after everything your friends had been through, change was inevitable. allison was gone. and while you knew that the nogitsune had been the cause, you also knew that stiles couldn’t not blame himself. you knew that stiles had gone through something horrible, a terror that you couldn’t imagine. but you had assumed that he would lean on you, turn to you in his hour of need, let you comfort him and tell him that it would all be okay.

he didn’t.

instead, you felt the thread of your relationship grow so thin you weren’t sure it existed anymore. he didn’t seek you out, didn’t tell his usual jokes, didn’t offer you rides home, didn’t do anything that the stiles from before would do. you wondered sometimes if you were a painful reminder of things that had been lost— if he looked at you and saw something that he no longer was allowed to have for the things the monster inside of him had done.

he never officially broke up with you. there was no messy breakup, no screaming match or sobs. he was there one day and then he just. . . wasn’t.

you didn’t hate him for it. you wanted to. god, how you wanted to hate him for ignoring you, for turning you away when he so obviously needed you. but you couldn’t. because you knew that he was still your stiles. he hadn’t changed. he had hidden. you knew that he would come back eventually.

eventually came.

it was late, the last droplets of rain pelting the roof of your house with a slowly dissipating strength. you had dozed off while the storm outside had run its course, but something had roused you. a knock. two. several.

glancing at the clock on the wall, you had no idea who would be visiting at this hour. a gnawing feeling grew in your gut as you stood and walked towards the door. had one of your friends been hurt? was there an emergency to attend to? you threw open the door with a frantic look, panic in your eyes. but it wasn’t bad news.

it was stiles.

his hair was wet from the rain, his eyes rimmed in red and his breathing heavy. he looked awful. his frame was sunken in, almost as if he were trying to diminish his presence. like he somehow bothered you for showing up. like he was afraid you would turn him away.

you weren’t sure what to say. it had been so long since you had been alone with him, so long since he had intentionally sought you out. you wondered just what had happened to make him appear on your doorstep, shaking and afraid and looking as if he was going to collapse.

“stiles. oh my god, stiles, what happened to you?”

your voice was quiet, unsure if you would spook him by speaking too loud. he seemed torn. in more ways than one. you realized he hadn’t moved and you stepped aside from the doorway, your face soft as you beckoned him in. it only took seconds for him to collapse against you, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you felt the sensation of tears against your skin.

you held him. you didn’t know how long the two of you stood there, but you held him all the same. he was trembling, holding on to you as if you were the only thing keeping him tethered. you couldn’t stand it.

gently, you pried him away from your body and he looked so broken it made your heart ache.

“what happened?”

he froze at the question, looking back at the door and for a moment you were convinced he was going to bolt. but instead, he sat down on the couch, his head in his hands as he answered.

“i killed him. i killed donovan.”

you sat down gently beside him, removing his hands from his face and cradling them in your own. and while part of you wanted to be shocked, to say he would never do something like that, the other part of you said he would. but only, only, if he’d had no other choice.

“okay.”

he looked at you, his expression puzzled, as if he hadn’t quite understood what you said. and then his expression morphed to bewilderment.

“what do you mean ‘okay’?! i tell you i killed someone and you just accept it?!”

“because i know you had a reason.”

you paused, searching for the right words.

“the stiles i know, the stiles i love, would never kill someone without having a reason. it’s not who you are.”

“what if you don’t know who i am? what if i’m not the same person? what if i don’t know who i am? what if. . . what if scott was right?”

you paled, wondering what exactly scott had said to him. had he gone to scott first, tried to explain, only to be met with judgement and disappointment? had scott spurned him? the thought made you seethe. while scott was your friend, he had known stiles for years. how could he possibly question what stiles had done? how could he not believe that stiles was still at his core who he had always been?

“he was wrong.”

“no, he was right. i’m not the same person. how could you love me? after what i did?”

you were furious. you stood, whirling on him, your voice raised as you countered.

“you’re not?! then go take your jeep apart. scrap it! put that useless heap of junk where it belongs!”

he looked up at you, hurt in his eyes that quickly turned sour.

“how could you say that?! you know what that jeep means to me! you know it was my mother’s, that it’s the last thing i have of hers! how could you tell me to get rid of something like that?!”

“if you had changed, you wouldn’t care about that. the stiles i love always cared for it. so don’t tell me that you’re not the same person. you are. you always have been. i’ve been waiting for you to realize that.”

you had him. you knew you did the moment his gaze softened. his shoulders sagged with relief, letting out a shaking breath as you sat back down next to him.

you would deal with the aftermath later. for now, you had stiles. and that was more than enough.