I was so looking forward to this season and seeing a woman with curves get honest to goodness romantic sex scenes.
For so long the sex scenes with curvy girls in film have been shown with a tone of humor or disgust or pity.
And Bridgerton season 3 was supposed to change all of that. Except it didn’t. Not for me, anyway.
Because while other Bridgerton heroines have been stripped clean of their clothes, with their entire body on full display, Penelope was not.
In all her scenes she was never completely undressed save for one brief moment that isn’t even shown fully. We get one quick glimpse of her glorious bosom and then she delegated to being covered up with a blanket. Colin goes so far as to pull the blanket to cover her up more at one point!
We don’t get to see her beautiful curves. They’re continuously hidden like it’s a shameful thing to show a woman whose waist isn’t small, with a stomach that jiggles, thighs that don’t fit neatly in a man’s hands, and breasts that aren’t small and perky.
What I got out of Bridgerton season 3 is that yes, you curvy girls can have a love interest who isn’t also plus size, but only because he thinks you’re interesting, not because you’re beautiful. And yes, being interesting is going to last longer than beauty, but is it too much to ask to be both?
It seems even today on a super progressive show, the answer is still “yes”.
If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.
In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.
Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.
I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.
I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.
And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.
But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.
I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.
As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.
I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.
So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.
Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.
Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.
So what’s the problem I face?
It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.
The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”
The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”
And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.
Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?
And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?