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Pone Is Going Crazy - Blog Posts

thephonypone

1 month ago

hey so uh- mmMMmmMMm okay

stick with me here this is a very steam of thought post and typed out on a whim..................... as i approach fully changing everything as a whole. and with how much i already changed my username from jroxs12pone. im really thinking of changing it fully. cause the jrox part is still such a problem wordedly in a creative space especially with me about to go fully into marketing myself and getting such big projects on board. you know? i gotta figure it out now. cause all my accounts are currently wiped of all content. im at the easiest cross roads ill ever have to make this big decision.. the jrox part of my user has it is now and was when i made it, is a personal bit of thing. having been a changed variation of a childhood nickname from my dad. but jrox as is, doesnt fit well with me now? i guess... dont know how to phrase the problem. i have a username in mind that i really like that includes the pone aspect thats something more of what i would have chosen now if i had started my journey here and not then. i know a lot of people recognize the jrox part. quite literally, thousands, and that makes me a lil nervous. knowing so many people associate so intently with that and that changing it would cause problems. jrox is common in usernames, and gets confusing sometimes when reading it off or telling someone it. or just searching it up. but as well the fact that iv had so many iterations of it ,jroxs12, jroxs12pone-pegamom, jroxs12pone, jroxspone, jroxpone, that those confusing additions and different versions drifting around on so many posts and tags... that its just caused way too much struggle. many people know me as jrox, and probably will always. my nickname for so long has just been J, or rox, roxy. i've been trying over the last year to really cone it over to just 'pone' so maybe that would catch on better, at least on discord. i already updated my sona by a large margin to make her what i wanted for me now and not me then. i turned away from the 4th grader who made the design and finally made her for the adult that i am now and it made me feel better. i dont think holding onto the past is a good idea. especially if its something i think about often. things are not how they were back then. and the username isnt me anymore. thats why i surgically stitched on the "pone" aspect in attempt to really make it feel good. and it worked for a while.. but it just makes me think more about how its not what i want.

maybe its time, that i become me and not who i was? because i think the more i pretend the more i lose track of who i even am right now and that could be a bad muck of problems...

guess the biggest question is, no matter how fucked up i am in the end. will people be along for the ride? probably, and i guess i should stop thinking too hard and just do it if i'm gonna do it....