Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?
Dazai: A master and his dog?
Chuuya:
Chuuya: NO.
Dazai: We're finally getting along. It's been 24 hours since the last time we fought. Isn't that great?
Chuuya: No, it isn't. We complete the missions faster when we're fighting.
Dazai: Quick then, say something annoying!
Chuuya: Thank you for inviting me to mackerel's wedding today, Kouyou.
Kouyou: Yeah no problem.
Chuuya: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Dazai marrying?
Kouyou: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Dazai!
Chuuya: Wait, what?
Mori: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.
Kouyou: For a week! No, a month!
Hirotsu: Here’s some money, make it two!
Dazai, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?
*some years later*
Dazai: Atsushi, Akutagawa...
Atsushi and Akutagawa: Yes, Dazai.
Dazai: About the rumour...
Atsushi, Akutagawa: What rumour?
Dazai: Poetry.
Atsushi, Akutagawa:
Dazai: It's not what everybody thinks it is.
Akutagawa: I'm afraid explaining any further while in your partner's bed will only make matters worse, Mrs. Nakahara.
Dazai: Did you just call me Mrs. Nakahara?
Atsushi: It's best if you get used to it sooner than later.
Dazai:
Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?
Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?
Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?
Dazai: It's perfectly fine.
Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.
Chuuya: We...
Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.
Akutagawa: Poetry?
Dazai:
Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.
Akutagawa:
Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.
Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...
Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*
Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?
Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?
Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?
Dazai: It's perfectly fine.
Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.
Chuuya: We...
Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.
Akutagawa: Poetry?
Dazai:
Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.
Akutagawa:
Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.
Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...
Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*
Dazai, whispering to Chuuya's ear during a pm meeting: I'm sure that no one here has as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya: WTF?
Dazai: Sorry, I misspoke. I meant no one here is as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Sure...
Dazai: *on the phone* Hey, Chuuya~
Dazai: Do you know my blood type?
Chuuya: Of course, its AB.
Dazai: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-
Chuuya: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird about it?
Kouyou: Come on, when have I ever been? Go on, tell me!
Chuuya: Well, Dazai--
Kouyou: You can do better!
Chuuya:
Chuuya: What are you doing?
Dazai, eating a cake at 3am in the bath with a knife: My best.
Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.
Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?
Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?
Odasaku:
Ango:
Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.
Chuuya: The mission might be over, but as long as you're around, we'll always get into trouble.
Dazai, happily: Thanks Chuu!!!
Chuuya: Not a compliment.
Dazai: 😔
Chuuya, during a mission: How are we gonna get out of this?
Dazai: Don't worry, I have a plan!
Chuuya: *sighs* Ah, the four words society fears most.