Pouringsoulthroughwords - Blog Posts

It’s suffocating,

loud and exhausting.

It’s a downward spiral

And I let myself fall

In the rabbit hole.

A space of my heart,

Locked away.

For oh so long.

You knew about it

And you question

The small confine

Where you belong.

You hold the power

Over me

No one ever had,

Will ever have.

Am I just

Punishing myself?

Not making peace

With the choice

I’ve made.

How come

You don’t want me

In your life?

When I will

Welcome you

In my arms

A thousand times.

I am a bus stop, so you weren’t supposed to stay.

‪Whispered goodbyes‬,

‪with a promise to meet‬

‪The day came,‬

‪along with cold feet‬

‪I see your smile‬,

‪not reaching your eyes.‬

‪With a heavy heart,‬

‪this is where we part.‬

I hope you never think of me.

A gentle reminder of us

“I would’ve love you for the wrong reasons, and I would’ve love you more for the right reasons. But one thing is for sure, we will tear and break each other apart.”

You are always at the back of my mind. Like a flicker of light I can’t seem to fix.

Is this still a part of moving on or I’m still a fool for you

Anguish cry and silent sobs,

With a heavy chest,

And I silently pray.

Are You gonna take me away?

And I say,

Please not today.

I’m not okay.

But I’m here to stay.

Wrote this in seconds for the worst breakdowns I had this weekend. I’m not getting any better. I’m sure of that. It’s hard to stay on both feet when I don’t even know where this is all coming from. So please, if you know someone with struggles. Don’t invalidate them with mocks and taunts. You help in any way you can. We’d appreciate that.

More willing to let go than hold your hand.

Had to give myself a chance to live without you

‪“I never really stopped. You know? Loving you. It’s just... I’m better off without you.”‬

If she ever asks when I stopped loving her

“But you’re allowed to be you, to be spontaneous.” And still I wonder why I sought for your approval.

I am allowed to be me. Never again should I allow you to enter my state of mind. You aren’t the boss of me.

And suddenly you can’t run from it anymore. You face it not to just overcome it, you face it just to end a suffering.

I still don’t know what my “it” is

Sober enough to check up on them at 4 in the morning.

‪The detachment that comes with love is unimaginable.‬

It’s what after of the aftermath of falling out. I wish it wasn’t with you.

Do you ever get the feeling of “on the verge of being distant” to a person you’ve become so closed with and the anticipation it comes with kills you and you feel heavy inside

It happened too soon when it shouldn’t.

There was a reason why I stayed silent over the past few months. I know that when I open up and speak, I’d only tell stories of you. That’s not part of my moving on.

It’s part of I’m falling into you all over again, I’m afraid there’s no getting up.

It’s okay that I am alone. I am free and I get to own my freedom. I admit, it feels lonely sometimes. But, I get to know myself a little better and I get to grow on my own. This is an achievement for me, really. To know and focus my value without someone else’s help.

It came up to my mind when people around me talks about wanting to be in a relationship. I mean, we gotta love ourselves before we love someone else, right?

There’s something I have to write using my thoughts.

It was scary that I mattered yesterday and today, I’m just another stranger.

We lost us

If you ever find yourself unable to get up in the morning, catch yourself lying on your bed or staring at the ceiling for hours, I am here to tell you that it’s okay. The world may have already begun but even the sun take its time to rise. Take your time. Gather yourself. Close your eyes. Breathe.

Why is it not easy in the morning?

After all these years,

I still yearn for you.

And after all these years,

Hope you brought a part of me

Even at the end of our story.

Whole world out there, but still I want one with you in it

I promise you, I won’t be far from where you left me.

I just hope you find me

I guess, if you ever ask me if I still love you. I’d say, I do. I love you. I still do. There are times that I still think of you, and I hope you do, too. But, I’ve forgotten more than I could actually remember.

So, I guess, if you ever ask me if I still love you. I’d say, I do. My love for you will always be somewhere. It stays wherever you chose to leave me, wherever I chose to leave it. And, it’s here. Never moving. Never growing. It stays wherever I want. It stays behind.

‪I breathe so loud,

someone heard me

on the other side of the world.

Because I broke the silence,

thinking it’s the loudest

scream I’ve ever had.

You can drink the night away,

Fill up the void, the absence.

But no amount of alcohol

Would ever occupy that space

You call loneliness.

watchingyoudrinkandstillfeelempty

See? The thing about you is you never really left. You have given me more than just a scar and I wish you didn’t.

Isitjustme

It was a moment between the day and night, In between lunch and dinner time, It comes when you least expect it. But you just had to know, You have to keep going ;

“You are more than enough and so much more.”

Words you need to hear coming from your own mouth

“I found a life in you,

When I was barely living.”

We were shadows in the dark, Full of life and so in love. But, why do we part at day? Tell me, love, why can’t you stay.

We enjoyed the moonlight, While our bodies lie side by side. You kissed me. Intent on leaving marks. We made love all night, And I remember as soon as you depart. We are apart in the daylight. The very thought of us, Gives me such a rush. More than enough for me to love the dark.

Poems are my way of conversations

You were gone,

But my love for you stayed.