Radical Feminst - Blog Posts

Everytime I find out a famous radfem is married to a man I kinda die a little

Literally my mom and her bfs dynamic except us kids have to pull his load too. The best example is how on his day off he doesn’t leave he couch, staying on his video game or watching anime. Meanwhile when my mom has a day off she cleans even if the house is relatively clean, cooks dinner and so much more. He makes more but they still do “50/50” hes also more ppl. He has 6 kids and my mom and I are two ppl. Don’t date a man, esp a man child.

Imagine being in one of those 50/50 marriages and you want to make a really nice dinner. You make it every night as well because your husband explains to you that you should only do what you're good at and he simply "isn't good at cooking", in return though, he will take out the trash when you remind him. Because this is a 50/50 household after all and he WANTS to pull his weight.

So you plan the dinner on your free time, then you take the shared household bank card that you both fill up with the same amount of money each month - 5% of his salary and 50% of yours because it's equal and how is it his fault that you chose a low paying job? This is 50/50!

You buy all the groceries, come home and clean up after your husband who doesn't work longer hours than you but he has explained that his job is more mentally exhausting so he will be more tired than you when he comes home. You wouldn't understand that with your physically and emotionally taxing job, you don't need that much rest. Besides, It doesn't even bother him that it's messy!

Then you prepare all the food for an hour or so, while it's in the oven you take the trash out because you've asked your husband to do it three times already and it's still there because he is simply too exhausted right now. You also load the laundry with both of your clothes, and fold the clean one because if your husband did it it would just be destroyed or never folded. You set the table, bring out the food, pour the drinks and when it's done you do the dishes because your husband simply "isn't good at doing dishes".

This is equality for men btw.

After dinner your husband sais he did a good job cooking the meal.

This is what dads who claim to have made their children sound like.

My old blog got t worded so I’m back now!!! I used to be raybugthe-radfem so if any of my mooties find me that’d be lovely!!! Here’s a redone intro:

I’m a minor and a lesbian

Im black and Indo Caribbean

I’m Canadian

I am anti SW, anti surrogacy, anti capitalist, pro-choice and gender critical

I love riot grrrl stuff, musical theatre, reading and writing and have recently taken an interest in pottery.

DNI:

Males, 13>, TRAs/gender culties

It's not your place to dictate anyone's sexuality. Labels are supposed to make people feel more secure, not make them feel unaccepted. This is why so many LGBTQIA members feel like they have no place in the community.

Lesbians and gay men are the main perpetrators of this. This is exclusionary, and the same kind of thinking that labels bi women sluts and erases bi men. Stop it and give people room to figure it out

I was originally going to ignore this bc it’s a pretty insane take, but it kept coming back up in my mind and led me to think about labeling in general and how my generation goes about it (and unfortunately for you anon, I stayed just as radical).

There’s two types of labels: static, or inherent, and active, or chosen, labels. Static/inherent labels are things that you are born with, and are obviously observable to everyone that looks at you. Race and sex, most notably. Those do not require you to do anything to make them true, they just are. These are the labels in which rules and stereotypes are pretty much pointless because the color of your skin or your genitals do not determine anything about you other than the fact you have them. It is medical information and nothing more, and does not influence your personality.

However active/chosen labels DO need rules and regulations or they are completely pointless. Even things such as sexual orientation (which you are born with) need you to actively engage with them, even if it is just thinking “I’m gay”, for them to be realized. You are not born, a naked infant, and the doctor looks at you and pronounces you gay, or anarchist punk, or goth, or feminist, etc etc. And since they require actions to fulfill, then having set requirements for a category is vital for us to accurately communicate information to others. And if you do not fit the criteria for a certain label, the only thing that makes any sense is to choose another label that does fit you.

This conflation of the two types of labels has lead to a lot of nightmare messes for the queer community especially, but also even with people claiming they can be conservative and goth and it’s actually more alternative to be conservative and all that mess. Have requirements to be part of a group is literally the foundation for forming a group outside of just the general public, otherwise there is no point in doing so at all.

Also, Anon honestly seems to have more biphobia than I do, which I feel like I come across a lot. As soon as I mention potential bisexuality in someone people immediately start telling me not to slut shame, that I’m erasing bisexual men (somehow?) etc, when never once did I ever say anything bad about bisexual women. I’m close friends with bi women and I love them dearly whether or not they choose to date men because that’s their prerogative. However when I say “bisexual”, you hear “bad”. I do not think it is bad for women to be attracted to men. My complaint is when you claim lesbianism, a female same-sex only orientation, while constantly expressing attraction to men, because that reinforces the “she hasn’t found the right dick yet” narrative that puts lesbians in danger. I was literally just given that line yesterday and then stalked for 45 minutes by a creepy man.

Lesbians are not attracted to men. If you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual/pansexual/whatever word you want to use to express a polysexual orientation. And if you are bisexual, I love you and thank you for your self-reflection and honesty with yourself. Labels exist to give a name to your lived reality, no label is better or worse or cooler than another, and trying to stretch labels to fit things they aren’t is really pointless when the other label that describes you perfectly is literally right there.

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

i love it when terfs call themselves radical cause like, nothing more rad than falling for right wing pro establishment propaganda

Firstly, here. Second, seems pretty radical to be a radfem when even our most basic level speech on women's rights ignites the anger of EVERYONE

“You just hate sex workers” but I’m advocating to stop the abuse and violence they go through daily

“You just hate sex workers” but I’m advocating for them not to be subjected to sexual illness or infections on the daily

“You just hate sex workers” but I’m advocating to stop them being trafficked and forced into the industry

“You just hate sex workers” but I’m advocating for them to be given higher wages to help them out of the industry

“You just hate sex workers” but I’m advocating to just have them treated as human beings

I’ve seen several posts (and a lot of reposts of those posts) talking about the misogyny in rap music produced by men, and while I think that having a conversation about misogyny in entertainment is incredibly important, I also think it’s important to think about why we’re focused so heavily on demonizing rap music in particular.

A lot of mainstream music produced by men, regardless of it’s genre, has the same messaging of misogyny, rape culture, sexism, etc. If you read a lot of the lyrics of popular club/dance music especially, it’s hiding in plain sight. However, in a world in which white is the norm, we’re used to hearing that type of messaging disguised underneath the soothing, fun loving, catchy melodies sung by familiar voices so we sing along without thinking about the words leaving our mouths. Rap, while it’s still a very popular genre, goes against that familiar, comfortable habit of hiding lyrics and is very straightforward, and therefore our condemnation increases because it forces you to interact with the lyrics instead of shutting off your brain.

I don’t advocate for a lack of critical thinking or criticism for the genre, in fact I’m asking for the opposite. Is Rap truly the worst genre for misogyny? Because I could, and am, arguing that abusive lyrics hidden in songs that play over the speakers at every establishment (and especially around children) with no issue, is just as bad if not worse. Genres such as Country, which is just as full of misogyny, are treated with a kind of “roll your eyes and get over it” attitude. We treat it as a joke, if we acknowledge it at all. Those silly, backwards folk living in a cornfield town don’t know any better, really.

Socially, we also forgive and forget about male violence much quicker when the man is white. I’ve watched people blow up angrily about a white man’s crime and after 6 months it’s forgotten to the point nobody remembers it when I bring it up. However a black man in that same situation will have his disgrace last years longer. This is not me advocating in any way for everyone to get the white man treatment, but for everyone to have an accurate social reaction to the crime itself without the person’s race tainting how we view him (and by extension, those in his racial group).

Rap, while it has some serious bad apples now, has an incredibly important cultural history of pushing for social change that other popular genres in the world today do not, and it’s ironic to me that it is now seen as the most morally corrupt and oppressive genre. Associating the entire genre solely with low intelligence (both in the artist and the audience), general moral failing and filth, and a backwards view on society when there are so many rappers who have pushed for social changes harder than any other musicians, when you do not similarly condemn other musical genres, is unfortunately a case of internalized racism.

I will reiterate once again that I am not in any way saying that anyone or anything should get off scot-free or without deep criticism. Pointing out an unfair balance in how we condemn groups of people is simply that, pointing it out. I think we need more criticism but I think that criticism needs to be nuanced, complete, and informed. I would also urge you to look into smaller or more underground rappers/rap movements because there is a lot to enjoy and many good people to support when you’re able to get past the big names that do well for a reason. The majority of our culture today is misogynistic so misogynistic lyrics appeal to the general masses, and people who refuse to fall under that group don’t end up as famous as those who do.

[Edited to hopefully make my point easier to understand bc I was getting several reposts that seemed to be taking away a message I didn’t mean to put across]

Tu inseguridad machista, se refleja cada día en mis lagrimitas

Malo - Bebe

Te molesta que las mujeres salgan en tetas. Te molesta, después de que te pasaste horas viendo porno. Te molesta, después de ver tetas en todos los anuncios de cervezas, hoteles, viajes, etc. Te molesta, después de pagarle a una prostituta para que te muestre todo.

Eres un hipócrita. No te molestan las tetas. Te molesta que las mujeres SALGAN en tetas. Porque crees que son tuyas. Que tienes que pagar por ellas, que sólo tu las puedes ver. Y que las mujeres tienen que hacerte caso a ti.

Las tetas ni si quiera son un órgano sexual, no como tu pene que te lo sacas cada 2 minutos para mear, para masturbarte mirando niñas, para hacer que otras personas lo toquen.

No. No debería ser así. La gente debería salir como quiera. Y a ti no te debería molestar, deberías apoyar.

"Women matter on their own. Not in relation to a man." 💚💚💚

Pizza toppings are an opinion “women should be forced to endure unwanted pregnancy’s” isn’t. You can’t shovel shit and demand people don’t react to the smell

Opinions differ. Just trying to say opinions are reserved for nonsensical things like pizza in a world that is controversial all the time is a very naive thing to say.

No one is saying what Bee said shouldn't have been called out but there's a way to do certain things.

If you feel like someone saying something ignorant means they should be shamed and never forgiven because they said something you didn't agree with, that's a you problem. (I'm using you generally here)

Thinking that there is some golden, perfect person in the world that has never said anything to offend anyone ever in their life or believed in something bigot is an extremist ideology. Nobody is perfect. Yes we've all been tainted in different ways by our culture. If you're on this earth today of 2020 or were here before, congratulations. you've been tainted.

People who are progressive all around, learn from experience meaning all their lives they bettered themself. Even activist have at some point believed in a bigot thing. They don't go on social media and act as if they're above someone else because they have "the better opinion". The argument is about making the world a better place, not outing an individual that has fallen into the trap of society.

If you think you cannot teach a person who has a politically indifferent stance to you, you're no better than an extremist on the opposing side. People who think differently than us will not just die from disease or something. They will go on to raise generations of people who share their ideology and so will we. All berating will do is cause a civil war. There is a difference between someone saying something slightly problematic and someone acting out on being problematic and interfering with an opposing side.

Bee has the right to her opinion of contraception. Hell, I don't agree with it but she was not attacking anyone with her views. She didn't say abortion clinics should be taken down, she actually said she thinks they should be up and women should have access to better healthcare. So contraception in this scenario is basically a pizza topic opinion because it interferes with no one. It's her own belief and she says women don't have to follow it. She simply made a comment stating how condoms and birth control pills helps with preventing pregnancy, she never said women MUST use contraception and abortion clinics should be closed down. Tobey took it amongst herself to screen shot the comment and reblog it.

Was what Bee said shit? Yes. Was she going through an understandably hard time? Yes. Did she learn from it and apologize? Yes.

Bee is not Donald Trump. Bee is not Ben Shapiro. People can forgive Joe Biden and vote for him as president even though he's acted against people of color starting laws to put poc in jail, but you can't forgive a misguided, woman of color who said something slightly controversial on the internet???