Redhood - Blog Posts
I like to think that all of the batboys are, in some way, scholars in one particular field*. So I've compiled a list of the areas the batboys are the most knowledgeable about:
Richard: math, musical history, anatomy
Jason: classics, ancient history, theology
Tim: anthropology, photography, textiles
Duke: physical sciences, architecture
Damian: art history, zoology, black-smithing
*For clarification, all my knowledge of the DCU is from the Young Justice TV series, the CW Flash, wikis, and other DC fans. Please correct me if I'm wrong about something.
based on a real thing that happened at work this week (no kids were hurt but holy shit was it funny)
Some Gotham Knights Inspired Jason Todd!
🏆 Mario Kart 🏆
time for another dip!
Jason and crowbar-kun
No, The small demon and the big boy
or The small demon child and the big demon brother
The small boy and the big demon. (Jason Todd - Damian Wayne)
There are Monsters in the Dark
[Bruce waking up to Jason looming over him]
Bruce, bleary eyed: Jason? Why- why are you watching me sleep?
Jason: I need your help.
Bruce, groaning: What did you do?
Jason: Excuse you, I did nothing but be my perfect angel self.
Bruce, deadpan: Ah yes, angel and Jason. Two words that are basically synonymous. Well then, my angel child, I'm sure this can wait till tomorrow after I have had at least 3 hours of sleep.
Jason: It actually can't, because there is currently a monster residing under my bed.
Bruce:
Bruce, blinking slowly: Jason, you are 22. There isn't a monster under your bed.
Jason: Oh, silly me, let me just inform the MONSTER under MY BED that there is apparently an age limit on that sort of behavior.
Bruce: You can't be serious, Jay.
Jason: Deadly. Much like the monster under my bed. And as my dad it is your job to get rid of it.
Bruce: *Getting up and angrily putting his robe on* Alfred help you, Jason, if you woke me up at 4 am to kill a spider.
Jason: Firstly, it's not a spider, Bruce. And secondly, there is no need to invoke the name of our lord and savior, Alfred Pennyworth.
Bruce: *rolling his eyes*
[Bruce getting on his knees to check under the bed]
Bruce: See, there's no- F*CK! *Bruce slamming his head against the bed-frame upon seeing Tim dressed as the Joker under the bed*
Jason, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, I should have filmed that.
Bruce, wide-eyed looking at Jason: What is wrong with you?
Jason: So, so many things. But this right here, was genius.
Bruce: Tim! Get out from under the bed, now!
Tim: *Crawling out from under the bed* Sorry, Bruce. But that was pretty funny.
Bruce: No! It wasn't! That is the most horrifying sh*t you two have ever pulled!
Tim: What about that time in-
Bruce: And yes. I am including the incident in Shanghai.
*Tim and Jason grinning and high-fiving*
Bruce: No! No high-fiving! This is not a high-fiving moment! I could have seriously injured, Tim.
Tim, snorting: When? After or before you screamed and hit your head against the bed?
Bruce: *Unimpressed bat-glare*
Bruce: I'm returning you both.
Jason: Sorry, there's a no return policy on broken orphans.
Tim: *snorting and high-fiving Jason again*
Bruce: Stop high-fiving! This is serious!
Jason: Yeah, yeah, Old Man. Save the lecture. We're on a time crunch, we still have to dress Timbers up as Ra's and hide him in the Demon Brats closet.
Bruce:
Bruce: Why are you two like this?
Jason, shrugging: Blame it on the childhood trauma.
[Tim and Jason walking out of the room]
Bruce: Alcohol. I need Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
Jason: It’s 2019 why can’t I delete people in real life?
Later
Jason: Ok. So it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.
Stephanie: Yoink is the opposite of yeet.
Jason: But it’s just as fast.
Tim: The lord yeetith and he yoinketh away.
Bruce: I think I’m having a stroke.
Jason walks into the batcave wearing Jorts one day in order to piss off bruce—except Bruce isn’t pissed, he’s terrified. he’s grabbing jason’s lapels, begging him—“for the love of Wonder Woman, if you ever loved me at all dont let your brother see you in those”
But it is too late
Dick has seen everything
“HEY IF HE’S ALLOWED TO WEAR JORTS—“
(Dick walks into the batcave ten minutes later in booty Jorts and jason discovers true fear)