Robin Van Persie - Blog Posts

The Most Important and Least Informed World Cup Piece You'll Read

Hi boys and girls. With the FIFA World Cup in full swing, I thought it would be nice and topical to do a special Henley Monday featuring several of the most attractive players But it turns out that it is nearly impossible to find a single picture, whether professional or paparazzi, of a footballer in our favorite body hugging garment. I did, however, find several pics that made my heart rate increase to a staggering level, and because I am benevolent, I share those with you now. Presenting...

The Hottest World Cup Players in Various States of [Un]Dress:  

This is Lionel Messi of Argentina wearing the shit out of a Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo. When I briefly lived in Buenos Aires, I learned two things about soccer: Maradona is God and Messi is Jesus. He's also tiny and super hot.

Robin Van Persie of The Netherlands can't believe how hot his salt and pepper hair is either! He's so svelt and beautiful and expressive on the field, I would do a flying header right into his bed.

Graham Zusi of the US just gets it. He gets that you've had a long day and just need to curl up into his arms and watch some Netflix. Plus, you can totally trade some hair styling tips! You know he's got a regimen.

So, Alexi Lalas here isn't a player anymore but he was on the US men's team in the 90s and now he's doing commentary on ESPN and he is SO HOT. He used to look like a grizzled lion (still hot) and now he looks like the Lion in Winter. His red hair and red beard scruff are almost too sexy to bear. But bear it I will.

Olivier Giroud of France is unreasonably good-looking whether he's on the field, wearing a cardigan, or you know, just the tiniest pair of swim trunks imaginable. He's...magnifique, to say the least.

Lastly, we have Xabi Alonso of Spain and COME ON. WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT? XABI,YOUR PIERCING GAZE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE MY EYES BUG OUT OF MY HEAD AND PANT LIKE A CARTOON WOLF. It was so hard to pick just one picture of Xabi because his perfection knows no bounds. Que dios te bendiga, Xabi, more than he already has that is.