SAD ROSE - Blog Posts

gcuienveres​:​

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she held her breath as her corset strings were tied by some of the pale faced serving girls she seemed to have been allocated since her transition to the vale, and gods know they bored her; nothing of excitement, no small hints of mischief, no interesting or passionate conversations. just voices that sounded like mouses, overly timid and sickeningly sweet. did she even want to attend this small lunch her good sister had welcomed her to? definitely not this morning; it would be more entertaining to watch paint dry. the last she had spoken to the woman had been some days before her wedding; in which she had spent most of the event outside with a certain arryn king. 

she found the queen of winter was essentially, unremarkable; as plain faced and timid as the mice now forced within her service, and gods knew she forced a smile to cross her features, though it did not meet her eyes. looking over the small set up, including tea, guinevere found herself incredibly underwhelmed. “how very sweet, your grace.” she spoke, her eyes looking over her surroundings, judgement clear in them. “you tried your best, at least. even if it looks as though it were done for my fifteenth nameday.” 

she remained silent as the woman spoke of sentiments that guinevere realised she cared nothing for, she was not joining the arryn family for her husband was not an arryn - and all of  a sudden the entire thing seemed entirely pointless, causing a trickster-like smirk to play upon the woman’s lips and glden features. feigning fake interest in the objects rosalyn showed her regarding the eyrie and the vale, guinevere looked at her, disengaged. “well considering winterfell is now your home, it is only natural you would want to bring all you can. lest you choose to take comfort in dog furs.” 

‘nothing else, thank you. i am watching my waist.” she spoke, her orbs looking upon rosalyn’s pregnant belly. she had no comprehension of how scalding or how subtle her digs were; slipping from her lips as she took a cup of tea from the serving girl without even the slightest hints of meeting the girl’s eye, let alone a thank you. “yes, the night your incompetency nearly lost us both our lives.” at mention of the secret she had managed to keep buried for months being exposed that night in white harbor, guinevere’s face dropped; no longer even faking a smile, keeping unnaturally uncaring eyes upon the woman who was her good sister. 

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rosa felt her cheeks burn bright at her words. “i wish i could do more however since neither of us are at our home i fear i lack the supplies to make a proper welcoming tea like i would wish. but i didn’t want to do nothing at all for you, that would feel even worse. perhaps when things are normal once again we will be able to do a welcoming properly.” something was different now though, she could feel it in the air. she could see it in the words she spoke to her. the comfort of dogs? it was a terrible thing to say.

memories  started to flood back to her in that moment. times back in the eyrie court when she was still so young. completely unsure about herself and lacking all self-confidence at all. there had been other young ladies of the court who would fake their smiles and compliments towards her. then behind her back laugh and say absolutely terrible things. things they whispered to each other knowing she could not hear it. but she could see them, she could lipread what they were saying. it was worse knowing that. that was the thing about lacking hearing, you learned how to read people’s faces easily. she could not relay on the inflection of people’s voices to understand the meaning behind the words. but it was their face that rosa would read. the young lady’s words were full of kindness but their faces told her another story. it was fake. the looks on guinevere’s face felt the same. the same fakeness she had grown up dreading to see. she felt like she was looking into a mirror in that moment. that she was just the young lady too afraid to stand up for herself against them.

the look in gwen’s eyes felt like it was stabbing at her gut. but rosa had practice with women like this. she had learned how to hold in anything she was feeling, wait until she was alone to let it out. it had been years since she last had to do this. she hated being back here. “of course… we can just enjoy the tea then.” habit took over and rosa felt herself rubbing her stomach. of course, she was going to look bigger, she was six months pregnant at this point. but the midwives had all told her she was looking well for how far along she was. maybe she wasn’t? maybe she was looking bigger than…no no. she would not let herself go back into old habits of letting the words of court women get to her. 

together they could still salvage this small welcoming party. perhaps it was just nerves that was getting the best of her good sister. certainly, there had been some kindness within her when she came to bring her flowers at the news of her engagement to the king of winter. they had a wonderful conversation then. there was kindness when rosa had caught her speaking with her brother during her wedding. they had both been smiling, they looked happy. there was kindness within guinevere, she knew that, right?

but one insult after another insult was being thrown in her face. the last one felt like she had been slapped. the queen of the north paused, unsure what to even say back to her. “my incompetence?” she repeated, stunned that she had seen the words correctly. the fake smile now gone from her face. maybe she was seeing the real guinevere now, what was lying beneath it all. did her brother know? or had she tricked him? “in the chaos of everything that had happened i was trying to control what i could. i was trying to help your family before that choice was taken away from me. i don’t believe any of us acted perfectly that night, nor would i expect any of us to given what happened. how does one have a clear mind after seeing a friend butchered in front of them…” rosa frowned, she did not need to defend herself. especially not after a blade was put to her throat that night. 

the queen sat up straighter in her seat. she could take control of this back, she could try. “do you really wish to discuss such unpleasant things right now?” she asked her, pouring herself another cup of tea. “i invited you here to welcome you and to get to know you better. we are family and i wish to start things off on the best foot we can. can we do that?”