Sadnees - Blog Posts
her beer tasted of sawdust and foam coated her boots; nuts were bland and counter sweaty. but the air was lime fresh and the night neon young and she was free.
myra.
mess mess mess
my mind’s
cluttered mess
doesn’t the daisy calm your nerves, dear?
there are no exits where you’re going
no socks
are allowed in the red-room
no pretty pink flowers
are allowed
at the woods at night
To R,
I gave you everything and forgot who I was; you lived with me, I stood my ground when you mother screamed at me and threatened my family. I kicked that door down when you od'd, I always defended you. I was there when V was in the hospital and all you did was sob. You almost killed me multiple times and I forgave you. You threatened to kill yourself multiple times to get me to stay, and I did. You stole my money, you used my name to steal. In the end you ghosted me, in the end you told them I was crazy, in the end you lost someone who saw you as a sister. You won't use me again and I remember who I am, goodbye for good. - A
I'm finally angry at the way that I was treated.
When the gay panic starts kicking in:
Smiles.....
"Smile!"They say......
"eat! Your getting thiner....." they say.....
"common! Smile isn't that hard" they say
"was that funny?" they say.....
"why aren't you laughing?" they say.....
"why are your eyes red?" they say.......
Why can't you see that I'm not fine......all I can say is....
"can you plese help me?"
Im FINE
I want to see others happy
I want to see them smile
I want them be okay
But if they are in pain..
I feel bad,
But if I feel pain?
Im fine.........
Just got to live until you die.
I woke up at 3am ,
it was a really sad dream,
Filled with death and dispair.
Fell asleep again,
To dream a sadder one.
And the rhythm played,
Until it was time to rise from bed with the rhyme of morning alarm.
But my mind and body were unenthusiastic to conquer the world.
And I realised the reason for sadness which linger
Upon me all day.
There isn't much of me that can love. But it is all that is left, and I promise to love you with my remnants.
- reign
Some day I could've asked you
Will you love me
When this darkness becomes me
But you didn't
Now the questions I have
I ask myself
- reign
If there is an afterlife
I will spend it
Finding a love letter
In those eulogies
- reign
One day
Someone curious enough
Will ask me about my favourite word.
And that will be my cue
To flash a truly enigmatic smile
And somehow mumble ' might.'
- reign
I still drown in the waters I claimed to have mastered
You are on your own
Sail wherever you like
These waves are your to tame
This spirit has always been your own to break
And when it comes, the end
Inhale this scent, this sea
Sing your swan song in ecstasy
- reign
I am him
Because like Antonio
'In sooth I know not why I am sad.'
I am weary till I am distraught,
Though my sunken ships never see the shore.
- reign