Safety - Blog Posts
Signs of a cop:
Last minute bookings
Refuses to send deposit
Tries to screen using only ID and/or references
Email has different style/sizes of fonts (is clearly copy and pasted)
References don’t have websites or verified ads with their emails on them
If he says he’s staying at a hotel he wants to meet at, call and ask to be transferred to *his names* room. If they don’t have it, red flag
Traveling with your SD
Traveling with your SD is an amazing opportunity and experience that every baby should strive for. Even though you might’ve traveled before on your own or with family, it’s nothing like it is when you travel with your sugar daddy! Personally, I love eating breakfast at small littles cafés and not having to go back to the hotel to dress up for dinner but instead go straight from the streets to some backstreet restaurant. Traveling with my family is something I cherish highly and there are many memories I will remember forever from the trips I’ve taken with my friends. But the first time me and Curious traveled together, a whole new world opened up in front of me. Being greeted by my last name in the lobby(or sometimes Mrs. Curious…) and by hotel staff at all times still makes me feel like I’m famous and when I was served Diane von Furstenberg Evian water at the restaurant we spent Valentine’s Day in Rome I was simply in heaven. (I asked for a bottle and it’s still in my room to this day. The weirdest souvenir but I love it!) Let me tell you this though: you have to keep your game face on while you’re on your trip. From taxi to check in to boarding to flight to landing to hotel to dinner to shopping to taxi to flight to landing to taxi home. You have to look immaculate at all times and stay clear from fighting. There is no space for being less than perfect. It’s going to be tiring and you will be exhausted. This is why I’ve decided to put together this guide to preparing for you trip but also how one should act whilst abroad/away. 1. Communication! If you and your SD aren’t on the same page before leaving, you’re not going to have a good time. Pointers on what to bring up before you leave:
What are you expecting from this trip? Physical intimacy etc.
Where are we staying? Will I get my own room?
What is my flight information? Confirmation numbers, what class are we flying?
Will I spend any of my own money? (Hint: if he answers that you might have to, this is your time to get the fuck out.)
2. Beauty regimen leading up to the trip! We all know that being gorgeous is a huge part of sugaring and that there’s no denying that beauty will get you way farther than letting yourself go and giving up on your looks. No matter what your niche is(femme fatale, girl next door, BBW, suicide girl etc.), it needs upkeep. These are some pointers that you should consider before leaving and while on location:
Diet. A month/two weeks before the trip you need to really start thinking about what you put in your body and exercising. A week/few days before you leave a detox could be in order. Juice fast, master cleanse, whatever you prefer. It’ll debloat you, give you an energy boost and make you feel more confident about your appearance in general. You SD loves the way you look regardless(otherwise he wouldn’t be with you), but you always need to exceed his expectations!
Skin. You’re going to spend time in the same bed for an extended amount of time and this means a few things: He will see you without makeup. He will feel your skin a lot more than usual. You will need to keep yourself and your skin silky smooth and free of blemishes. If you’re insecure about your skin, there are steps you can take to help you get through this painful phase(yes it is annoying for all of us, no matter how much we love pampering ourselves). Have a facial a week before. Try a night foundation. (I personally love this one and use it every night. All of the bareMinerals skin care products are amazing. I’ve tried quite a few and it’s on of my favorite brands. ) Follow a strict skincare routine constantly, not only on this occasion. Drink lots and lots and lots of water, green tea and eat healthy foods. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate and moisturize until you have no idea you could be this soft.
HAIR REMOVAL. This should always be a priority, but at this point it should be an even bigger issue. Even if you’re like me and aren’t intimate with your SD, he will still notice if you’re hairy. He will feel your legs if you’re in the same bed. He will see if your legs have little discolored spots on them. You can wax, shave or use whatever method you’re most comfortable with, but make sure it will last you a long time since you don’t want to worry about it. Armpit waxing is highly recommended. Do whatever you do in your everyday life but do it three times as though.
3. Research the area! Oh my how important this is for several reasons. These include:
If you get in a fight, you’ll want to know where to go.
If you’re like me and have mental health problems, make sure you know where the psychiatric ER is. Also know where hospitals can be found. Write all of this down.
Know where the stores you want to go to are located. This will save so much time that you could spend shopping. Keep the addresses in your phone.
4. Wish lists! I cannot stress this enough! Make a list of the thing you want to buy when you arrive cannot be more important. If you keep in mind what you’re looking for, what needs to be added to your wardrobe, you won’t end up disappointed with yourself once you get home. I look for purses, shoes, high quality clothes that will last you for years. Of course you’ll want to get things that are in style at the moment, but make sure you get what you came there for. A great way to make sure you remember these things is to make online wish lists at stores you want to visit. Barney’s, Harrods, Sephora, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman. Keep a tiny notebook in your purse(I love Smythson) with a list of things you really want and need at all times. 5. Time apart! You love spending time with your SD. You adore what he adds to your life. You always have a good time when you’re around him. He is going to start bothering you after a while. Just like any relationship, friction will occur between the two of you at one point or another. For a week’s trip, this is bound to happen. Before things get rough, consider these things:
Spend time alone every day. Do your hair alone, read a book/the news, do your makeup in peace(actually you should be doing this anyway, the way you put on your face should be a mystery).
Get a blow out.
Have him drop you off a store for an hour/45 minutes. Bonus: you get to buy things.
Spa. Enough said.
6. Safety! Oh lord this is important. Just like you stay safe when meeting a POT, you need to stay safe when traveling with your SD/to meet a POT. Even though you think you know him inside out and exactly what he wants from you, you absolutely without a single doubt need to make sure you’ll be safe.
Make sure someone knows where you are. This can be anyone, but preferably someone who really cares for you. Best friend, boyfriend, tumblr SBs.
Keep a list of numbers/places you can go if everything goes to hell. I make a list on actual paper but also carry around some numbers on my phone.
Your emergency contact should be updated every day at the same time. This will keep them from worrying, but let them know if things are starting to feel weird.
Know how much a flight will cost you to get back home and bring at least that much money. It’s also a good idea to bring money enough to get you a hotel room, but that can be overkill. Ask the girls in the tag/that you talk to if they live near where you’re going and if they’d be willing to let you spend the night if needed.
The most important things should be covered now, but if you find yourself wishing for more information, feel free to send me a message and I’ll try to answer you. I’m also going to end this with a question so you can ask me right here. Hopefully you could benefit in some way from this. Traveling with your SD can be absolutely amazing, just make sure you are safe and taken care of and you’ll have a great time! Have a safe trip and enjoy yourself! ?
Travelling to a Meet POT Checklist
Having travelled to numerous places to meet POTs, I have had a mental note of a little checklist that I always use. I am finally writing it down because I see that a lot of people are interested in travelling to meet their POTs, or sex workers/escorts interested in meeting with clients that are not from the same hometown and wish to travel. Travelling is a lot of fun but you must also be aware and stay safe. Here is a little check list that I have come up with that will help ensure more of your safety and comfort while travelling. Make sure you can honestly answer all these questions and fill it out fully before you travel anywhere!
Xoxo love J (IntlSugarBaby)
Checklist & Questions:
The Security:
1. Do I know his real name?
2. Do I know his business/work?
3. Do I have his real contact information?
4. Have I had a Skype conversation with him yet? (To verify pics are real)
5. Have I had a phone conversation with him yet?
6. Have I researched him enough? (Is he on any criminal web pages, SB blacklist, anything in the news about him, etc.)
7. Did you give all this information to at least 2-3 trusted sources? (Give one to a friend that you trust in person, another one that is from the sugar bowl could be from tumblr, and etc. Make sure people have this information!)
8. Do I have security cash in case things go wrong? (Always make sure you have extra cash on you in case things go wrong. I would say maybe 200-500 extra on you. You never know)
9. Have I discussed intimacy with him? (Does he know that you will not be having sex on the first date you are down there? That you will not tolerate inappropriate behaviour?)
The Comfort:
1. Where am I travelling to? How long am I travelling to this area for? (I only recommend 2-3 days maximum for a first travel)
2. If I am travelling longer than 3 hours on a plane, am I getting first class? (You bet your ass you better be!)
3. Am I getting round trip flights? (Double check and call the airline to make sure it is valid! If you feel more comfortable booking yourself make sure you get all the money to book through PayPal for your trip!)
4. Am I getting my own hotel room? Is it booked with: Four Seasons, W Hotel, Trump Hotel, etc? (Non-negogiable. You must get your own hotel room. No ifs, ands, or buts. Call the front desk to guarantee it is booked and to make sure you have your own room. Make sure you are ALSO getting a nice hotel, not some cheap MOTEL!)
5. Have I discussed allowance and payments to come down? (Plane ticket and accommodation do NOT account for your time being spent down there. You must be paid for your time that you are with him. Usually for my 2-3 day rule I would ask anywhere between $1,000-3,000. It all depends for how many times you see him, how long you see him, etc.)
6. Have I discussed a “free-time” with him? (You need a break from him. You need your own time. Within each day you are down there say you need this which can be used to explore, have your own spa day, etc. You are NOT required to be with them at every moment!)
7. Do I have arrangements that a car is picking me up from my house/friends house/local area to the airport and back from the airport? As well as soon as I land in the designated town that I am being picked up by a car and drove straight to the hotel? (Never hop in a car with him straight from the airport. Make sure you go straight to your hotel from a limo/taxi car paid for by him you should not be wasting a dime on anything down there. If you need transportation to the airport from your hometown make that known to him!)
8. Have I discussed when I will be getting my payment? (I always ask for it as soon as I meet up with him in an envelope. This allows you that if no matter if there isn’t a connection there you still get paid! Do not accept payment after your date through paypal or any other way, or cheques. Always make sure it is in cold, hard, cash and in an envelope first meeting. No excuses)
9. What is the itinerary once I get there? (Make sure you know a list of exactly what you are doing. Are you going to a broadway show? The casino? A dinner? Where is the locations + addresses? Make sure to always keep checking in with your “safety” sisters aka friends! Also plan! If you are going to LA and want to go to Hollywood tell your POT. Remember this is a little trip for you so enjoy it!)
What to pack in my suitcase:
1. Always bring a carry on or a large purse. It is a lot quicker to go through the airport without having to check any bags. Remember to always pack light as well because you definitely will be shopping down there!
2. Bring 1 casual outfit. This is for site-seeing, going out and exploring. Something you feel comfortable in (shoe wise) and can walk around for extended periods of time. I would suggest a pair of jeans cute sandals or flats and a super cute top. Accessorize to make yourself look better - nice purse, sunglasses, bracelets/watch etc.
3. Bring 2 nice dinner outfits. I usually am super indecisive when it comes to dinner outfits. I usually bring two really nice ones! One will be a tight dress medium-short length, and another a more longer dress that is classier. Once you arrive in the city you will know what fits in more there and what is easier and more comfortable to wear. Bring your best heels: Louboutins! And of course accessories.
4. Bring 1 Sleeping wear. Usually a comfy top and bottom, or if you are feeling more risqué bring a sexy night gown or something. Remember you have your own hotel room and intimacy is not expected on your first trip down there. This is purely for your comfort!
5. All your sleepover gear stuff. Toothbrush, small lube of toothpaste, make up remover wipes, hair and bobby pins, hair ties, deodorant, a super mini body spray (check your airlines for maximum you can bring).
6. Your make up and accessories. Bring your most used make up such as: Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, a couple of brushes, eyebrow pencil and lip gloss. You can bring bronzer and blush as well but remember don’t bring your entire make up kit! Some stuff might get lost… bring stuff you DEFINITELY would use! As for accessories: sunglasses, a statement watch or bracelet, and ring possibly. Keep it minimum, stick to statement pieces! Don’t want to loose anything!
7. Bring 1 Bathing Suit. You know maybe you want to take a dip in the pool, go to the sauna, or head to the beach on your time off. Who knows, always great to have a bathing suit packed just in case - you never know!
8. Extra feminine supplies. Just in case you get your period on the trip, you never know! Also bring extra gravol, or advil that you potentially could need trying different foods, or just not feeling well on the trip.
9. Pack anything else you think is necessary! Remember, pack light and research what the weather is going to be like when you get down there. Is it going to be warm? Rainy? Cloudy? Check all the weather and make sure you know and pack accordingly!
Plane Checklist:
1. Bring head phones, ipod (if you don’t have an iphone), phone charger, lip gloss, little compact mirror, passport, wallet with extra cash in it, your drivers license (if you are over age of 19 in Canada you can drink there, or over 21 in States! That way you don’t have to bring your passport along with you), a magazine, and little snack to enjoy. This is usually in my hand bag/purse that I also carry on the plane. It is your plane survival and extra time alone survival kit!
2. Get your boarding passes in order, text your POT that you arrived at the airport and just wait to board the flight!
Enjoy your trips meeting your POTs! Remember to have a great time and go through the check list. If they are hesitant about any parts of it or can’t answer and try to negotiate around some of the things… these are viewed as red flags. Immediately drop them. A POT will ALWAYS want your safety and comfort to come first. If he speaks of sex in the hotel, or anything that you are not comfortable with you immediately lay down the line saying that it won’t be tolerated. Make sure to stand up for your values and comfort. The worst thing these men can say is NO which is not a big deal at all. There is a million other guys to replace them. They are indeed replaceable.
Have an amazing trip to where ever you travel to. Remember to stay safe! Safety is a number one priority! Wishing all the hustlers the best of luck.
Xoxo love Mama J