Saix - Blog Posts

"the answer's no"

All at once! The entire Organisation 13 and their fourteen members. The most overrated and badly lead villainous organisation in the history of video games. But still one of the most charming if you forget that Lexaeus is a member.

Saix... Oh, Saix. He is an absolute asshole!

Happy Xemsai

and don’t forget the end of the neckline.... You know what I meant?

Okay but the most realistic thing in Kingdom Hearts was Saix pushing his hair out from under his hood

Like that is actually what it’s like wearing hoods when you have hair past your shoulders

thank you Square Enix

omG

Give me more xD

You all know what this means…..XD

Sorry,i can’t help it XD Sora in the world of nobodies!!! (Owo)b

Epic and awesome scene from jurassic world .

Thanks, I’m crying now Q_Q

Another of Lea nightmares… Sorry it’s such a mess and really inconsistent. Couple of things to clarify just in case: 1. Saïx is snapping Lea’s wrist, which wakes him up from his nightmare. That’s why he also checks it. I didn’t do a very good job conveying he was gripping it very hard. 2. I’m imagining Sora comes to Yen Sid’s tower every once in a while to check on the Keyblade boot camp party, so he’s just sleeping over in the same room (not the same bed, I was too lazy to draw Sora getting out of his own bed) as Lea because I wanted that. 3. Idk why Lea has bed hair and Sora doesn’t.

yes me too *smile and cry*

this pic makes me smile but also it makes me cry

Best friends forever...

Lunadiviner as Saïx an me as Axel.

I love the Picture *_*

Participated in mARTch (privetaly) last month and here are some personal highlights!

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 19: SET C - “Crush My Heart”

The first thing I felt was a stinging pain carved in my face.

I touched my cheek with a shaking hand and so the second thing I felt was wet and sticky and warm and it suddenly made me taste iron on my lips.

The third thing I felt was breathing. My own, deep but burning in my chest, and that of another, calm, below me. Another. Another person.

I tried to wipe away the blood from my eyes and moved to lift myself up. It was hard, my whole body felt heavy, but I managed to prop myself up on one arm. And there you were.

Breathing, motionless. I stared at your face. Alive, but unmoving. I tried to say your name, but nothing came out, my lips wet with blood but dry anyway and my throat numb. I didn’t know how long I hovered over you, but it was the realization that I was dripping blood onto your face that finally made me sit back.

I didn’t know why I was bleeding again. I didn’t know why I was lying on the floor or why you were there (asleep? unconscious?). But I realized I did know where I was. My breath started to hitch and I felt my stomach clench as I recognized the room where we had lost our hearts. Where you tried to save me, where I gave in anyway, my heart taken from me and my face carved.

Why were we here?

Did this mean… that it was … over?

Was I... back…? Was I …

Was I me again?

Sometimes as a Nobody I had tried to imagine how it would feel when my heart would be returned. I thought I’d feel relief or maybe even happiness. But in reality all I felt was pain and grief and a horror I couldn’t even place but that gripped me so tightly it blocked out everything else. When tears finally came I didn’t stop them. They burned in the cuts on my cheeks, but I barely felt it. I sat next to your unmoving body and I wept for the first time in years, until finally someone came rushing into the room, screaming your name and taking both of us away.

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Reblogs: Yes, thank you! <3 Reposts on other websites: No!

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 18: SET C - “Lyrics (Only If For A Night)”

[ And I heard your voice, as clear as day And you told me I should concentrate It was all so strange, and so surreal That a ghost should be so practical ] [ Only If For A Night – Florence + the Machine ]

Somewhere in the darkness, I thought I heard your voice. I thought I felt your hands.

The sensation was so real and warm and wrong. I was alone, wasn’t I?

But I heard it again, so far away, felt it so close to me and it didn’t matter. I didn’t care if it was real or an illusion or a fever dream my crumbling mind conjured. I clutched onto it. It gave me a focus, a lifeline in the madness of my fall and I would not give it up.

I would not

give you up.

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Reblogs: Yes, thank you! <3 Reposts on other websites: No!

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 17: SET C - “Void”

It didn’t end. I didn’t know how long I had been falling for. It felt like forever, it felt like an instant. It FELT, I felt. It was all I did, Falling, and Feeling and - remembering. My life passed me by, both of them. A cacophony of sensations and feelings and sounds and voices. The hurt I had caused, the hurt I had been caused. The smiles and the laughs and the love I felt and the hatred. It blurred and twisted and it was beautiful and painful and TOO MUCH and it.

Didn’t.

End.

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AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 16: SET C - “Disappearance”

I was watching as your light went out, and I felt nothing.

When he came for me, I fought with everything I had. He had beaten me before, but surely this time, surely with all the not-hatred I felt for him, I could win.

I couldn't.

As I felt myself vanishing, the pain and the sadness finally caught up on me. It was just for one moment, but I felt an overwhelming hurt. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to go back in time, back to when things were okay. I wanted nothing more than to be whole again. 

But there was nothing to be done. You were gone, and so was I.

In the end, it was all for nothing.

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AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 15: SET C - “Acts of Love & Hate”

It didn't matter that he wore a different name or a different face. I wanted to destroy him. It was a desire, roaring deep inside of me, overwhelming everything else. It was his fault. His fault. 

Destroying him wouldn’t fix what had happened, but it would set me free. 

Of him. Of you. 

Of the pain I refused to feel.

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AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 14: SET C - “To Be Left”

It was no surprise when you left. When you betrayed me.

Everything I once believed in went away with you. All my schemes, all my plans.

The very last part of me that had still, foolishly, believed

was finally dead.

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AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 13: SET C - “Blissful Ignorance”

I searched for the warmth I once found in you, but it was so hard to remember. Everytime you rejected me, it left me a little more indifferent and soon, there was nothing else left.

It didn't hurt. How should it, when I couldn't feel at all? Unlike you, I accepted it from the start. I didn't try to fight a fact I wouldn't be able to change.

I accepted it. Just as I soon learned to accept that you would no longer be a part of my existence.

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Midnight Dream.

(I still love Isa’s space hair.)

I made myself a little reference sheet for Isa’s new clothes! I’m pretty sure they get warped a little by the animation, so some of the details are probably a bit off, but I did my best anyway.

I decided to share it, because maybe it’s a little helpful to others too?

Tumblr crops the pictures by the way, so it’s better to click them.

In Time I Awakened To A New Purpose

(Can you believe KH3 releases in less than a week? I can’t.)

So, last night I dreamt I was playing KH3. 

Lea and Isa (still norted) were there, having a frustrated and angry argument, which wasn’t surprising at all uNTIL IT TURNED INTO A FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY MAKE-OUT SESSION. 

I was so shook, I stopped, turned off the game and texted my girlfriend this one sentence I never expected to type:

“I can’t believe AkuSai is canon now.”

Let me face my fears.

(Isa’s new hair colour looks like space and I love it.)

AKUSAIMONTH | 2018 Day 7: FREE DAY

I want you for a lifetime So if you’re gonna think twice, baby I don’t wanna know, baby I don’t wanna know

[Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3] [Day 7]

AKUSAIMONTH | 2018 Day 3: You’re too hot when you’re mad.

(I’m spending summer at @kittendough’s place, something like this was bound to happen.)

[Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3]

AKUSAIMONTH | 2018 Day 2: After Missions

It was painful, but least they had each other.

[Day 1] [Day 2]

Akusaimonth Day 1: Dawn & Dusk

Artist: Skia (σκιά)

“This is the first AkuSai work I have ever done. I attempted to illustrate the course of their friendship by the metaphor of the sun’s course.”

This is my younger brother’s work! He doesn’t have a tumblr, so I’m uploading it for him!

AKUSAIMONTH | 2018 Day 1: Dawn & Dusk

“But you'll never be alone, I'll be with you from dusk till dawn.“

(click it.)

[Day 1] [Day 2]

[2am]

I had trouble sleeping again lately, so I decided to put the thoughts and feelings that kept me awake on paper. The only rule to myself was to draw what my hands felt was right, not what my head thought was.

It feels ... good. And it helps a lot too.

Tagging as NSFW for nudity, but honestly, nothing was intended to be sexual in any way.

(Also, seems I was wrong when I said, I’d never post any Voltron fanart ever again. I didn’t think I’d fall this deep into it. Please, be kind, Voltron fandom ... )

AKUSAIMONTH // 2017 Day 3: Swap or Reflection

“Also, I’m pretty sure you liked it, judging by your reaction.”

“So, I guess that’s why you tried to pull the same thing a second time?“

“Now that’s plain unfair! I put a lot more work into it the second time! I mean, floating candles?”

“Well. I’d never seen anything that cheesy before, I’ll give you that.”

“Hehe, special day calls for special measures.”

“Right.”

“But you know? I’m glad you recognized it. I really wanted it to be like that time.”

[Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3]

Okay, so. If becoming norted DOESN’T mean losing your free will, then what good would it do Xehanort to make Sora a vessel.

I am honestly so done with the Saix discourse around here.

Saix has Xehanort’s EYECOLOUR AND EARS for heaven’s sake. He is clearly at least influenced by Xehanort during his time in Org XIII. Not to mention he has a X carved into his forehead, X like keeping watch on people (see KH3D).

I always thought that Saix is losing more and more of himself to Xehanort, but that’s only my interpretation of course. He’s still at least partially himself, before his death in KH2, yes. He did terrible things, yes. I’m not saying those should be forgotten.

But please don’t forget, that he was also in a terrible situation and he was slowly losing his only support (= Lea). Situations have a huge impact on our decisions and behaviour, which has close to NOTHING to do with our personality. Feel free to google the fundamental attribution error on that one. Does this justify what he did? Not at all. Does this mean he shouldn’t be forgiven? Not. At. All. If he is willing to repent, then let him do it. EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.

Then again, I’d like to take a look at the “terrible things” Isa/Saix did. The main problem I see is his behaviour towards Roxas and Xion, who would have needed support and whose situations were clearly made worse by him. Keep in mind that he deeply believes he doesn’t feel any emotions and nobody else around him does either. The definition of empathy (according to Dorsch, Lexikon der Psychologie [translated]) is the cognitive understanding and affective reciprocation of the assumed emotions of another being. Of course Saix doesn’t have any.

The “terrible things” I don’t understand, are those other people see in his interactions with Axel? Roxas and Xion hurt Axel’s mental state way more than Saix, not on purpose of course, but I strongly doubt Saix’ goal was to hurt Axel either. Saix and Axel are ARGUING. Axel doesn’t trust Saix and vice versa. Saix is angry, he’s sad, while he doesn’t acknowledge any of it. He tries to keep Axel close with their shared goal. With pressure, yes, which he didn’t have to, but they are still arguing, remember. There’s still a strong, unresolved conflict in between them. Don’t try to tell me, you’re always kind and caring in an argument, dear haters. Because BY SHARING HATE YOU ALREADY ARE CAUSING DAMAGE TO OTHER PEOPLE. I felt uneasy and irritated, I had sleepless hours thanks to those Saix hate posts. YOU caused me harm with your unnecessary discourse.

So what does this say about you? Shouldn’t you be forgiven?