the Sammy x ink demon one is old but the one with just Sammy was recently done đ (and sorry if I spelled one part wrong)
[different au BATIM/BATDR au then i've been posting about before]
Relationships:
Romantic: Susie x Allison, Joey x Henry, Bendy x Sammy x Fay [oc]
Platonic relationships: Norman & Fay [Besties], Allison & Thomas/Tom [their like siblings], Joey & Fay [Frenemies], Fay & Henry [Father-child relationship], Joey & Bendy [Enemies], Henry & Bendy [Their Chill], Norman & Susie [Tolerates each other bc of Fay], Fay & Susie [Besties, tho Susie won't admit it] Norman & Sammy [Both think the other one is crazy as hell, Still friends tho] Allison & Fay [Loveable Dumbasses]
Fay refer to Joey as Father, and Henry as Papa btw!
Love Triangle you'll definitely see jokes about in the au:
[They will all end up together tho don't worry]
!Swearing warning!
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Fay : We should normalize not loving family members. Joey: You can just say: âI hate my dumb fuck Fatherâ or whatever. Talk like a normal person!
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Susie: Can we go to a haunted house? Allison: Whatâs wrong with the one we live in? Susie: Wh-what? Allison: Goodnight, Susie.
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Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker Joey: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Allison: âŚI did. I broke it. Joey: No. No you didn't. Susie? Susie: Don't look at me. Look at Tom. Tom: What?! I didn't break it. Susie: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Tom: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Susie: Suspicious. Tom: No, it's not! Fay: If it matters, probably not, but Bendy was the last one to use it. Bendy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Fay: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Bendy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Fay! Allison: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Joey. Joey: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Fay: Joey⌠Susie's been awfully quiet. Susie: rEALLY?! Everyone starts arguing Joey, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Joey: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Joey: Joey: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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Norman: What are you drinking? Susie: Vodka. Norman: Straight? Susie: No, gay. Why?
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Sammy: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume youâre not allowed to do it.
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Bendy: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.
[Says the Demon in love with the God of Death & Destruction]
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Norman: Bendy, I have a couple of words to say to you. Allison: Please let those two words be âIâm sorry.â Sammy: Iâm ready with the bleep button if not.
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Allison: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Susie is? Because Susie is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.
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Fay: bites lip Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? Cop: That isnât gonna work, hands behind your back.
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Allison: Youâre mean! Fay: Youâre meaner! Allison: Yeah, well, youâre ugly too! Fay: Youâre uglier! Allison: Youâre a dumbass! Fay: Youâre a dumberass! Allison: You think âdumberassâ is a good insult!
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Allison: Iâm really glad âfight meâ has replaced âsue meâ in the common vernacular because I donât have money, but I do have fists and I am always angry.
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Fay, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time? Susie: The car takes a screenshot. Allison: Please pull over. Iâm driving now.
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Allison: What are your three best qualities? Fay: Iâm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
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Henry: Tom, you're my best friend. Tom: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend. Tom: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!
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Norman: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Susie: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Norman: Okay yeah thanks Susie, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?
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Susie: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? Joey: IT. Henry: Annabelle. Sammy: Paranormal Activity. Fay: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.
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Allison: I need to dye my hair. Susie: ⌠Allison: Or get another tattoo. Susie: ⌠Allison: Or a new piercing. Susie: Why? Allison: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.
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Susie: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Tom: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Joey: Wasps? Henry: Terriers? Susie: Fay.
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Fay: Ow! Susie: Whatâs wrong? Fay: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Susie: Itâs called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.
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Allison: Between Norman, Fay, Tom, and Henry -- if you had to -- who would you punch? Sammy: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them. Allison: Norman? Sammy: Yeah, but I don't know why.
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Police: Youâre under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Tom, with Allison and Joey behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: YesâŚthree. Tom: Oh, my Godâ What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Tom: Henry FUCKING FELL OFF!
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Bendy: Do you have any idea what youâre doing? Fay: Why start now?
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Sammy: So, Henry is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Sammy: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Allison: I don't know about thatâŚI think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Bendy: Take this more seriously! Henry was clearly taken in their sleep! Tom: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Norman: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interestingâŚ? Henry arrives Henry: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Allison, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!
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Sammy: looks at Bendy Sammy: Baby boy. Baby. Sammy: looks at Susie Sammy: Evil.
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Joey: I donât care what anyone thinks about me. Fay: Ok. Joey: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?
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Bendy: How do you type so fast? Henry: Anxiety.
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Computer: Please enter a password. Joey: types in Henry Computer: Your password is too weak. Joey: How fucking DARE YOU-
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Allison: Why does Susie always do the laundry so loudly? Sammy: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house. Susie, in the distance: slams the washing machine shut
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Fay, jumping out of Henry's closet: BOO! Henry: Fay: Henry: Fay: makes a sad face Henry: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!
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Henry: Regular soda is too sweet! Tom: Diet soda has a weird after taste! Henry: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Tom: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Henry: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Tom: I'm going to physically attack you. Henry: Which is better, Norman? Norman: Oh, I usually drink water! Tom: Wha- NO! Henry: DISGUSTING!
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Henry: Norman has never seen Star Wars? Fay, the only people in the universe who havenât seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and thatâs cause they lived them, Fay! Thatâs cause they lived the Star Wars!
Fay: . . . ok?
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Allison: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Allison: TOM IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Allison: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !
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Norman, to Fay: âŚAnd I need you and Bendy to help, and by "help" I mean "do everything."
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Joey: Th-that was horrible! Your wish is horrible! Youâre horrible! Youâre an irredeemable monster! Fay: Woah, woah! What took you so long, idiot?!
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Fay: Hey Allison, Joey just broke my seashell lamp. Allison: Neat. Iâm gonna die alone. Fay: Okay, you win.
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Allison: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Norman: Fay is the scariest thing I could think of! Fay: Norman told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
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Tom: Fay, I screwed up, big time. Fay: Tom, given your daily life experiences, youâre gonna have to be more specific.
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Joey: So whatâs for dinner? Fay: I canât tell you, itâs a soup-prise! Joey: ⌠Joey: Is it soup? Fay: I soup-pose it could be! winks Joey: Please, enough with the soup puns! Fay: Wow, youâre soup-per mean. Joey: STOP! one hour later Joey: Itâs fucking tacos?!?!?!
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Sammy, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top? Norman: Fay's in the kitchen.
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Henry: Hey, arenât you Bendy? Bendy: You a cop? Henry: No. Bendy: Then yes, I am.
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Susie, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.
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Henry: dangling from a rope over a pit of fire Remember when I said Iâd tell you when weâre in too deep? Fay: Yes? Henry: Weâre in too deep.
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Joey: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real? Tom: Never seen one. Joey: Okay, I mean, thereâs a lot of things that you canât see that are real. Tom: What canât I see? Joey: You canât see gravity. Thatâs real. Tom: Yeah, I can drop an apple. Joey: Fuck.
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Norman and Fay texting Norman: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely. Fay: Isn't Tom there? Norman: Yes but I like you more.
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Fay: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Fay: I will not yield.
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Norman: So Sammy, how did your first time cooking dinner go? Susie: Pretty good if I do say so myself. Norman: Oo! Okay, what are we having? Susie: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. Norman: A whole potato? Susie: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! Norman: These just look like big slabs of black. Susie: Because that's what they are! Susie: And then for desert, we have chocolate. Norman: These are just chocolate chips? Susie: They sure are! Susie: And then for drinks, we have toast! Susie: lifts up a glass of blended toast Bon appetite!
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Sammy Telling Susie how Fay kissed him
Sammy: So, they kissed me. Susie: And you kissed them back? Sammy: No, I kissed their mouth.
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Fay: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime⌠which should I do? Joey: Please donât get arrested. Fay: No promises! <3 Tom: Why not both? Get creative! Fay: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Joey: Please donât encourage them, Tom.
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Bendy: Iâve been described as a âheartless villainâ and a 'little shitâ, but I prefer⌠'has alternative ways of having funâ.
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