SOMEONE COOKED HERE
Oh god, why did I ever think I was going to end up with a man? Women have everything that men don't. Understanding, a gentle hand, the softness of their lips and their hearts. There is nothing quite like laughing with a girl like you are best friends, thinking of her as if you have been married for decades, holding her like your favorite childhood stuffed animal, and kissing her like you could sustain yourself for the rest of your life simply on the sweetness of your mixed breath. Fingers in her hair, her head on your chest, love in both of your eyes that only the other will ever see. Make her a bracelet, find her a rock, gift her her favorite snack. Freedom in your airy laughter. Certainty in the matching beats of your hearts. You know everything about each other and remember every little detail; you are in love and unwaningly so.
i'm not going to let myself
have a new crush
not this soon
not on her
i'm not going to let myself
like a girl so painfully straight
and break my streak
of not liking girls who could never
like me
but what happens
when i catch myself thinking of her
or looking for her
or lighting up, briefly,
at her name on my phone
when she's creeping up on me
like the first sign of spring
six more weeks of winter
i can't go any more days without her
but i promised
no more girls
not right now
definitely not her
shut up, heart