Scooter - Blog Posts
Coming back to this because these are all the other musicals that should be recast with muppets:
1. Rent
Everyone is a muppet except the evil landlord, self explanatory, done. (I don’t know enough about rent to cast this one tbh but I think Scooter would be an excellent mark)
2. The Phantom of the Opera
The count is the phantom (join me in a fantasy world where the muppets and Sesame Street gang cross over- or it could also just be Gonzo I guess I like the idea of him as a homewrecker) miss piggy is Christine, kermit is raoul and the only humans are Meg and her mother. Additional cast members could be scooter as the stage manager, per the usual, Fozzie Bear as that one Italian opera singer but instead of singing he just wants to tell his jokes, Gonzo as Carlotta in a wig and statler and Waldorf as themselves heckling the opera
3. Jesus Christ Superstar
Hear me out ok, this one may be controversial, but miss piggy is Jesus, the slightly jaded, undeniable star of the show, and kermit is Judas, undeniably in love with her, but tired of her hogging the spotlight and feels she’s turned her back on what the muppets are really about. Beaker is Peter because he also looks like he would nope out when shit goes down and deny miss piggy, and Mary Magdalene should be played by renowned Broadway actress Philips Sousa because I just think that would be really cool if she hasn’t already played that role
4. Sweeney Todd
In which the animal plays unhinged sweeney todd, judge Turpin is Sam the eagle, miss piggy is Johanna, kermit is Anthony, and miss Lovett is played by Janice, who while I think lacks the manic energy needed for the role, would be a good chilled out foil to animal and bring a new flavour to the character of the crazy character who’s so deluded they make their actions seem almost sane
5. Little Shop of Horrors
I’m sorry I know I keep casting them as the two leads but kermit and miss piggy were born to play Audrey and Seymour, it is a pair that cannot be topped. The only change this makes to the original is that we all know miss piggy takes no shit so I think the stuff with the dentist (still played by Steve Martin because you can’t improve upon perfection) is a misinterpretation and she actually beats the ever living shit out of him for disrespecting her. Rizzo the rat should play the slimey businessman who buys Audrey Two, Statler and Waldorf are collectively mr mushnik, the chorus should also be human but I think the piece de resistance would be the Swedish chef as Audrey two and all the world is his chicken, and all the world should be deeply, deeply, afraid.
Tell me in the comments if I missed anyone or you have any casting ideas yourself!!
This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert
Vespa Girl
okay i was bored and this was rushed BUT IM SO FUCKING HYPED ESPECIALLYFOR IASIP AND ABBOT ELEMENTARY CROSSOVER I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT
the muppets should make a new christmas movie but it’s like a cheesy hallmark romcom staring walter and scooter
Goldfish and Turtle (An Art Assignment from Last Year. Yes. Art.)
Keywords used to make the paragraph:
French
Spain
Scooter
Highway
Dying/Die/Died
Turtle
Paint/Painting
Falling/Fell/Fall
There once was a French Goldfish from Spain. The Goldfish was on its scooter on the highway. There was a turtle sleeping on the road. Thankfully the highway was empty. The Goldfish stopped its scooter to wake up The Turtle but he almost got run over and died. The Goldfish asked The Turtle why they were sleeping on the highway. The Turtle responded saying that they were painting the lines on the highway and fell asleep.
This is the paragraph that my class came up with as a ‘poem’. I mean- maybe it’s a poem. But I decided to turn this into a poem under my definition of a poem. I also added the goldfish dying at the end of the poem because there were two kids in my class that were basically making the poem for everyone and were trying to get the goldfish to die at the end of the poem. The art teacher (who is really nice and let me rewrite the paragraph) didn’t want to kill off the goldfish, so it was basically a stalemate. I fixed the poem to include the goldfish dying but peacefully (compromising is something I breathe at this point). Here is the poem though. I wrote a draft of this out on paper at first before typing it, so for the sake of my hand please read it.
The Goldfish and the Turtle
There once was a French Goldfish from Spain
They went on the highway riding on a scooter in the plains
A turtle with a shell so green it was jade
Was spotted by the French Goldfish sleeping on the highway lane.
Twas luck that the highway was empty, the Goldfish thought, That the turtle didn’t die.
For who would sleep on a highway,
Where the danger of getting hit was apparent even at day!
This was made even clearer for the Goldfish
Who scootered towards the turtle’s way
When suddenly a car flew by
And nearly squished the Goldfish flat!
When he finally approach the turtle
The Goldfish just had to ask
“Why are you sleeping on the road?
Aren’t you afraid of getting squished flat?”
The Turtle the stirred at the sound
And woe, to his peaceful nap!
Now he was awake, there was no going back!
“What do you want, goldfish, so badly
That you interrupted my nap?!
I’ve done nothing to you,
Not a single scratch!”
The Goldfish repeated his question
And the Turtle sighed and replied:
“I was painting the lines of this road,
Which is quite a tough job,
The sun beating upon my shell,
Meant woe to my health!
I was tired and laid down, and next thing I knew,
I was awoken from my nap by you!”
The Goldfish nodded as the information was revealed
And offered his assistance to the Turtle for the day
And soon the highway was completely painted
Drying in the day.
The Goldfish soon left
Biding the turtle farewell
Riding to a lonely house
Where they painted the scene
Which he thinks back to
Year after year behind the scenes
This story was quite the inspirational tale!
When he finally was on his deathbed
Once again, the Goldfish thinks
“The Turtle was an interesting lad”
Before he fell into a never ending sleep.
I can almost feel myself losing my idea of what to write when it came to the Goldfish’s death. I hope this was a satisfactory ending. I honestly really wanted to write this because, well, why not? It was still a fun project.
