Sdv Fic - Blog Posts
I’ve gotten a friend into A Stain and I cannot overstate how fast I texted her about this update!! Like I saw the post and my consciousness beamed directly into hers basically.
AND GODDAMN WHAT A CHAPTER
It nourished my soul ❤️
Stardew Valley - 57/? - A Stain that Won’t Dissolve - Alex/Sebastian
Title: A Stain that Won’t Dissolve Rating: Explicit Pairing: Alex/Sebastian Tags: Hurt/comfort, aged-up characters (mid 20s), minor character death, angst, injury, grief, miscommunication, bullying, enemies to lovers, dubious consent, internalised homophobia, closeted character, past child abuse, dyslexia, antagonist farmer, unrequited love, pining, acceptance, top!Sebastian, bottom!Alex, power dynamics, happy ending.
Summary: Alex hates Sebastian – which is great because Sebastian more than returns the favour – and what starts out as revenge fantasy turns into unironic lust, which evolves into unrequited love. Alex gets a job, Sebastian marries the farmer, and both of them lose almost everything before finding each other again. A story of two mutual bullies who learn how to messily grow up.
A Stain that Won’t Dissolve - Chapter 57 - End a Fight With Flowers
In which Sebastian finally gets Alex to talk to him, but not without some pressure first, and Alex reveals a lot more than he meant to. At the end of their conversation, Sebastian presents Alex with something unexpected.
the consequences of desire
restorations // chapter three
read on ao3 here!
on my fifth day in the valley, i opened my mailbox to see a flyer informing me that a mine had opened up on the mountaintop. after grabbing my pickaxe and a few parsnips, i made my way up the mountain to be greeted by an older man with an eyepatch.
he introduced himself as marlon and warned me about the dangers i’d face below. with the wimpy sword he’d given me to protect myself with, i swallowed my fears and descended.
i’d already nearly exhausted myself on the third floor. just my luck, i’d supposed. i swung my sword wildly as a bat nearly knocked me off my feet. i reached in my pack for a parsnip, only to find that i’d brought only three with me, all of which i had already eaten.
gone already? what is wrong with me today? i thought to myself.
it suddenly occurred to me just how unprepared for the strength and energy that was required for this journey i was, leaving aside the simple fact that i had barely any of the required materials… my pickaxe was far too weak, my sword was falling apart, and i’d only just finished growing my first batch of parsnips (ninety percent of which i’d sold to lewis that morning).
these are the reasons i gave myself as why it was okay that i’d woken up in Harvey's arms as he carried me out of the mines and into town, maru trailing behind him with a worried look on her face.
i floated in and out of consciousness as we walked past the large house on the mountaintop, past the old, broken down community center, and finally toward the door of the clinic where he readjusted our positions so he could unlock his door.
i groaned as he cradled me in his arms and saw him look down at me, almost frightened.
the last thing i remember before everything going dark is making eye contact with the doctor as he walked us across the threshold of his clinic.
–
when i opened my eyes next, i was in a hospital bed with Harvey leaning over me.
he didn’t notice me open my eyes immediately so i just regarded him for a moment. i think he could feel my eyes on him after a moment because he suddenly remembered himself, his body covering mine in a way far too intimate for a doctor and his patient.
he tensed and i couldn’t help but reach up to touch his shoulder in an attempt to try to get him to relax a bit. he regarded my hand for a minute before meeting my eyes.
with a huffed breath, he whispered “hi. um, you got in an accident today. when maru found you in the mines, it appeared as though you’d been knocked out. by what, we still don’t know. i was able to repair all of your injuries without much trouble. do you have any insurance? i’ll need to bill you for the service.”
he paused for a moment before saying, “you know what? nevermind. let’s worry about that later. how much pain are you in? do you need more penicillin? i can get you some acetaminophen or maybe some benadryl but it’s a little late in the day–”
i was obviously still high as shit from the effects of whatever kind of drug the doctor must’ve put me under because in the middle of his diatribe, i brought up a finger to his lips and shushed him.
he seemed surprised at first, maybe even a little rattled, but softened almost immediately. “you’re right. i’m sorry, Calliope. i’ve been hovering, and i should give you some time to rest. or, at least, some time to be alone. maru told me that you have plans tonight at the saloon.”
had i not been “up in the clouds,” as it were, i might’ve wondered why the town doctor had asked his colleague if i’d had plans tonight, but as such, i simply said “come with me.”
his eyes had wandered to where my fingers had landed following their personal space invasion but snapped back to mine as he processed my words.
“n-no. i.. i couldn’t. i wouldn’t want to intrude on you four. and.. i wouldn’t feel comfortable. the old man in the corner… you’d feel obligated to include me in conversation and it’d make you miserable,” he said, taking a step away from the bed, and, suddenly, the room temperature dropped noticeably.
“wait,” i said, sitting up (and immediately wincing), “it’s not going to be like that. i promise. plus, it won’t be four of us and you. sebastian’s not coming. something about a looming deadline. it’ll be me, sam, and abby. and you. hopefully. and i need someone else there so that i don’t get caught third wheeling! they haven’t admitted it… but there’s something going on there, i just know it…”
as i conspired about a budding relationship between two of my neighbors, i turned my head and began chewing on my fingernails, a habit i’d picked up as an anxious eight-year-old and hadn’t been able to kick since. i had, however, not done it in public since fifteen.
when i finally realized that i was, of course, not alone, i immediately pulled my fingers out of my mouth and felt my face get hot with embarrassment. i couldn’t look him in the eyes as i mumbled an apology.
his mouth parted in a small smile before saying, “don’t be. i think it’s cute.”
my eyes widened, my head snapping over to him again. “what?” i said.
it seemed the doctor, too, was rendered speechless. he swallowed before pausing, as if to make up an excuse. finally, he said, “well! you are all patched up and free to go. let me know if you need anything else from me, Calliope.”
before i could reply, he turned on his heel and practically ran out of the room.
minutes later, i walked out into the waiting room of the small clinic, after gathering my things and ensuring i looked decent enough for the outside world. Harvey was there, and appeared to be busying himself with various papers.
i didn’t manage to catch his eye, but before walking out, i repeated my offer to him.
“just think about it,” i finally said. without a look back, i left the clinic, still in pain, definitely exhausted, and scared as hell that i might just fall in love after all.
the consequences of desire
read it on ao3 here!
i moved to the valley in the spring. it was so full of life, and nothing like i remembered it. the people i met were kind - for the most part. this is exactly what i was looking for, i thought to myself.
as i meandered around on my first day in town, i caught sight of him. clad in a forest green blazer and an orange… no, bronze tie, he sat on a bench in the park by the old, battered community center. i was tempted to approach him, but i didn’t dare.
it’s true that i fall in love easily. my mother used to say i must have been blessed by aphrodite. it sounds great to fall in love like that, but the other part, the part no one considers, is the falling out of love. to feel my heart break over and over again was torture, so, before moving to the valley, i’d decided to lock my heart away, to keep her safe from harm.
so yes, i decided not to approach him out of a fear that i’d fall just as naturally as breathing.
and it was easy, at first, to avoid him. he keeps weird hours, the doctor. so when i’d finally visited the saloon, on the first rainy day in the spring of my first year, the mayor asked me if i’d met everyone in town yet, i’d simply said no. i’d been busy. he’d understood, of course, but when he had asked me who i hadn’t met yet, i’d told him only to have him escort me to where he was sitting at the bar, sleeves rolled up, hair disheveled, and nursing a half-full glass of red wine.
“i’ll let the two of you get to know each other,” the mayor said with a smile before returning to the rancher sitting patiently at his table.
i caught the attention of the barmaid and said “i’ll have what he’s having!” emily smiled and nodded before walking away.
when i finally looked over at him, the doctor was already looking at me. watching me. he looked like he was running some calculations in his head.
i blushed before saying “what? do i have something in my teeth? oh, yoba, that’s so embarrassing!”
he laughed quietly before shaking his head and saying “no. no. nothing like that. i was just trying to figure out why you hadn’t introduced yourself to me yet.”
my eyes widened and i stuttered out “i-i.. i’ve been busy! lots to do on that farm. i’m sure you’ve seen it. it’s hideous!” i paused and sighed before saying weakly, “no. no, not hideous. but. um. i’ve been busy. really.”
“oh. okay. well, good, then. i was a bit worried you were avoiding me–oh my. how rude of me. i haven’t even asked your name yet. do forgive me, please,” he said before looking down at his glass.
i flushed before saying “um, i’m Calliope. it means ‘beautifully-voiced,’ but my singing is about as impressive as my farm is right now… anyways, my friends all call me calli. you can call me whichever you prefer!” i smiled, slightly embarrassed of how i’d just rambled on about my name’s etymology to the man who had figured out that i was avoiding him. “um.. what’s your name, doctor?”
“Calliope is a beautiful name. i’m Harvey, the local doctor. although i suppose you figured as much calling me ‘doctor’ and all. um. it’s lovely to finally meet you, calliope.” he smiled at me, and his moustache bristled against his upper lip. not that i noticed. i didn’t notice his moustache or his stocky fingers tracing the rim of his glass or how his forearms looked with his sleeves rolled up.
i didn’t notice even one of those attractive qualities. how could i have when i was captivated by his eyes. the way his thick glasses magnified his eyes just enough that i could see that his eyes weren’t brown, they were amber. amber, my new favorite color.
when i eventually pulled my eyes away, i felt… lonely. but this was the problem, wasn’t it? i couldn’t get to know Harvey because i couldn’t fall in love because i couldn’t get my heart broken again. so, in favor of protecting myself, despite my heart’s desires, i paid for my drink, got up from my stool, and said “good night, doctor.”
i thought i heard a disappointed sigh before he responded “good night, Calliope.”
on my third day in pelican town, i walked home in the rain, alone.
hi everybody!!! new fic alertttt!!! this is coopted from my original harv drabbles so worry not. more of that cutie pie to come ;)
cliff talk | sebastian x reader
word count: 2.1k
summary: sebastian brings you on a ride.
tags: emotional hurt/comfort, slight angst, dialogue heavy, sebastian and reader have a heart to heart
a/n: i never thought i'd be writing for the emo boy but here i am. hope you guys liked this as much as i liked writing this! :D
Like the green rain phenomenon or the cute little junimo creatures that live in the community center, there’s always something new to experience in the valley. As odd as it might be.
Hunched over, tending to your crops—is like living in wait, the calm before the storm, the thrum of anticipation as you await the next exciting thing.
Like today—now.
“Ah, there you are.”
The garden shears in your hands are dropped into the thick down crawl of growing fruit. You look up, squinting your eyes due to the warm beat of dying sunlight.
“Sebastian?” you pause, looking up at him from your spot amongst growing melon vines. Your overalls smeared with dirt and damp with sweat—this is the last state you’d want to be seen in.
“Hey farmer,” The keys dangling from his index finger jingle as he gives you a close-lipped smile. “Wanna go for a ride?”
—
The place Sebastian stops at is quiet.
But not in the way most people think—the valley is never quiet, birds chirping, the breeze singing through tall grass and the rustle of branches swaying slowly. You’re aware of the sounds in the recesses of your mind.
The view is breath-taking.
The sun set long before you arrived on Sebastian’s cliff side spot. It’s cool and grassy, ticking your ankles as you walk through the field. The air, no longer warm but a cool breeze that you greedily inhale.
You stop right before the edge, there’s a big drop that you'd rather not slip and fall into. Zuzu city lay just under the horizon, a smatter of light in the otherwise now-dark forest. A cluster of flashing lights that remind you of stars—that have fallen and gathered from the night sky.
“Amazing, I know.” Sebastian says, a few steps behind you. He’s leaning against his bike, staring at the same view as you. “Zuzu city is miles from here, but there’s so much light—you can see it even from high up.”
You fold your arms, turning your back at the view—facing him. “Well, it is nicer from afar.”
Sebastian gives you a look, then nods his head to the grassy patch behind him. “Mhm. Let’s sit?”
You settle down together, side by side. You, him, and his motorbike beside him—there’s barely any space between your legs. You feel the warmth of proximity—so close. What you’d give to bridge that gap once and for all.
“Want a drink?” he asks, pulling out a beer bottle from his hoodie pocket—your brow raises, a miracle it didn’t break on the way. “Only got one though.”
You shrug, taking the bottle. It’s warm—warmed by his body heat. “S’okay with me. We’ll just have’ta share.”
He looks at you, eyes momentarily flickering to your lips as you use your teeth to pop the bottle cap off. “I guess we do.”
—
The beer is settling warmly low in your stomach, loosening every tightly wound muscle in your body. You feel weightless, the edges of your mind made fuzzy.
“I’ve been savin’ up a lot,” he suddenly says, picking absentmindedly at the blades of grass underneath him. “Almost have enough too. Once I do, I’m skipping outta this town on my bike.”
You nod your head. “It is a pretty cool bike.”
“Mhm,” he drawls, patting the side of his motorcycle—almost lovingly. “It’s gonna take me all the way to Zuzu city.”
“Zuzu city,” you repeat slowly, feeling the sound of the words in your mouth. It’s unpleasant, Zuzu city is a place you’d rather leave behind. You look down at the view of it, squinting. “Why go there?”
He pauses, inhaling the cool night air deeply. His fingers itch—like they’re searching for the comforting hold of cigarettes he so enjoys.
A part of you wishes you didn’t ask. Difficult conversations and cliff sides don’t mesh well together, you think. You don’t dare move a muscle as you wait for him, your eyes drifting back to the glittering light-filled view of Zuzu city.
“It’s suffocating here—everything about the valley,” he replies mirthlessly. “I live in the basement of my mom’s house for fuck’s sake. I know how she looks at me, like she could’ve done so much more to make me less of a shitbag. Maybe she could’ve, I don’t care. It’s way too late now.”
A low whistle escapes past your lips. You swirl the beer bottle loosely in your grip. “I see…”
Sebastian narrows his eyes at you, scoffing. “You’re pretty shit at comforting words, y’know that?”
“Harsh,” you look at him quizzically, shoving the beer bottle into his hands. He accepts it immediately. “What do you want me to say, Seb?”
“Nothing,” he smirks, downing a generous gulp of beer, the bottle is a little less than half full now. “‘m just teasing. Don’t gimme that look. I didn’t want comfort anyway, I’ve had enough of that. I want you to tell me the stone cold truth.”
“Promise not to get pissed off?”
Sebastian clicks his tongue against his teeth, then smiles. “Depends on what you say.”
“Wow, guess I’ll have to lie.” you joke.
“Hey—”
“Kidding.” You laugh softly at his pinched expression. His eyes narrowed—lacking any real aggression—at you as you poke harmless fun.
You grin, slowly turning back to the view. “You won’t find yourself there,” you say simply, taking a slow sip of beer, the smoothness of it running smoothly down your throat. “Believe me, I’d know.”
Sebastian turns to face you, irritation spelled out in every feature of his face.
“Smartass…”
“Hey, you asked for the stone cold truth,” you lift your fingers into air quotations to emphasize your point.
“Tch. Tell me this then. If I can’t find myself there, or here in the valley. Where the hell do I go?”
You pause, clicking the bottle with your nails idly. He’s irritated obviously. But you think more frustrated and confused than anything.
You sigh, then smile. The valley hasn’t been the kindest to its resident shut-in.
“Mid-life crisis at 24,” you tease gently, poking at his side. Sebastian shoots you a heatless glare. “Don’t worry too much Seb, your hair is gonna turn gray.”
“Ha-ha,” he replies sourly. “You talk as if that isn’t the same reason you moved to the valley.”
“Hey, I gave a generous amount of my life to Joja,” you snort, shifting your feet into a better resting position. “I paid my dues over there before I found some semblance of peace here.”
“I can’t just sit around and wait my whole life.”
“Then don’t,” you reply simply. “God knows I wish I followed my dear old gramps’ footsteps sooner.”
“It isn’t that simple.”
“Yep. It isn’t. It does get easier though.”
“You say it so easily.”
“Sometimes, it just is.” you reply. “Only sometimes, though.”
For all you remember, your grandfather absolutely adored the valley, though he couldn’t convince you in the height of your angsty teenage phase to do the same. You’re long past that now, life didn’t go as planned and you ended up right where your grandfather said you would be.
Funny, how fate works so mysteriously, so weirdly.
You shake that thought away, turning to Sebastian—who has the same contemplative expression as you.
He’s silent, thinking. His fingers grasping and twirling the drawstrings of his hoodie. “You never told me the story.”
“Well,” you purse your lips, handing him the bottle. He drops the drawstrings to grab it. A wordless agreement between the two of you to share what remains of the liquid. “You n’ver asked.”
“I wanna hear it,” he says, looking at you at the corner of his glittering obsidian eyes. “please?”
“How polite,” you laugh, he lightly hits you on the back of your head with his palm. “Ouch. No need to be rough w’me, I’ll tell you.”
You clear your throat with an obnoxious ahem. “Once upon a time…”
“—C’mon farmer, stop messing around. I wanna know your story,” he interjects, and it almost sounds like a plea. “No theatrics.”
Your lips flatten into a grim line. He’s being unusually insistent on the topic. But now that you think about it, you haven’t told anyone why you moved into the farm. Not your mother, not your father, and definitely not anyone else in Pelican Town.
Sebastian may be your first, you think to yourself—innuendo unintended.
You hug your arms closer to your chest, the cool draft sliding over your skin—making you shiver. No better way to battle the uncomfortable situation with an even more uncomfortable conversation. You take a deep breath.
“I was a fresh graduate when I started working at Joja—worked my way up from customer service to marketing. Crazy, right?” you chuckle, though it sounds hollow even to you. “All the pretentious proposals I would write and those useless meetings that’d take forever. There wasn’t a day where I didn’t hate my 20 year old self for starting at Joja. 5 years down the fucking drain when I quit. Let me tell you, it’s the best decision I made in my stupid corporate slave life.”
Sebastian says nothing, he hands the bottle back to you, which you take a generous swig of. You grip the bottle tightly around its neck, the warm feeling of alcohol loosening your tongue.
You exhale deeply through your nose. “I was in my cubicle when I just ‘bout had enough—by the way, I hate that they’re called cubicles, I felt like a number in some executive’s spreadsheets instead of a living breathing person.” all that talking and your throat itches for more of the sweet burn of alcohol—you oblige it with another weighty gulp. “Grandpa left me this letter, told lil’ old me not to open it until I really, really needed to. Now that I think of it, he knew.”
Your voice cracks by the end of it. Your tongue feels way too thick for your mouth. And your eyes blur—there seems to be twice as many stars as usual.
Sebastian stays quiet, reflective even. Though his hands have stilled, and he feels closer than he was earlier. It’s warmer, you think.
If he asks, you’ve decided you’ll blame it on the alcohol.
—
You and Sebastian talk for hours after, the bottle of beer being passed between the both of you too often. You feel a tad tipsy—having drank the lion’s share of beer. Your head lolls onto your arms as you talk about everything then nothing.
There’s a fair moment of silence that blankets the two of you after—certainly not uncomfortable. You feel Sebastain knows the fact more than anyone. He seems to thrive in the quiet moments.
“I don’t think I’m leaving the valley any time soon, though,” he says softly, breaking the tranquil silence.
So he’s been thinking. “Why so?”
He shrugs his shoulders, taking the final sip of beer that finishes the bottle. “Something’s makin’ it worth staying a little longer.” His eyes meet yours, albeit for a second—before he refocuses on the cliff side view.
Ah, you understand.
Suddenly, alcohol isn’t the only thing making you feel so warm. You thank the stars for the dark, for hiding any warm pinkness in your expression. You smile, more to yourself than anything. Taking the bottle from him, brushing your fingers over his perpetually cold ones.
The bottle is lighter than it was at the beginning of the night—your shoulders too, less achy, less stiff. With all that weight off of them, you can afford to be less wound up.
You tip the bottle over the grass, nothing but a single drop comes out. You watch it fall and drop into the grass. “Good. This something thinks you’ll come to like it even.”
Sebastian tilts his head, a tentative smile playing on his lips. “That’s presumptive.”
You shrug, smirking. “I have a sense for this type of stuff.”
“Really now?”
“Mhm. I don’t just lie for no reason. And my senses are telling me you’ll be alright.”
You hear the silent hitch of his breath, the momental widening of his eyes and the tremble in his jaw. It saddens you slightly, no one has probably reassured him of it before.
God knows you needed some while working at Joja, you’re just returning your dues to the universe—and to him.
He laughs softly, and bitterly. His fingers twitch again—for that darn cigarette. “God, I sure hope so.”
Sebastian will be just fine, you know that. And it’s about time he knew it too.