Sebastain Stan - Blog Posts
I went ahead and did something!!! I should not have adult money.... I went and purchased a Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan calender. I fucking love those two so damn much!!! I have almost every movie they have been in!!!
Just watched Fresh!!!! Omfg.... There were so many red flags that she ignored... I knew Steve fucked up when she texted love you and she didn't respond with love you more!!!!! How and why does Sebastian do a fucking amazing job at playing evil characters... I was like damn.....
I was on google and look what i found!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS!!!!!! i want him so bad. I didnt think they could get any hotter but i was fucking wrong.. HELP ME IM DEAD!!
How can this....
Turn into this..?
Silent Obsession
Summary; After he became a civilian Bucky's mind, body and soul was trying to adapt to his new life. He swore to himself that he was going to live the rest of his life alone, until he saw her. His distroted mind and broken soul ached to be with her, to be around her all the time. Could he manage it or ruin it for both of them?
A/N: Guys! I love this series so much! I love writing it. Hope you like it too. TAG LIST IS OPEN! Don't forget to check out the Spotify Playlist, i see that 4 of you downloaded it, it makes me happy that you guys also like the playlist. Love you all.
Let me know if you want to be TAGGED!
Warnings: Mention of domestic abuse.
Words: 2.279K
Chapter Five
‘’How was your getaway with Leo?’’ Melanie asked cheerfully, her blond hair smelled like cotton candy, she had a bright smile, she was a college student, even though her family paid for everything she wanted to have a job and she was working just because she was bored, a choice Y/N was never presented to. ‘’It was calm. How was your weekend?’’ she asked to averted the topic from herself, how could she lie and give details when Leo was a no show for 4 days. 4 days of peace for Y/N. Melanie started to tell her everything about the party she went to, the clubs etc. She was living the American college life and it made Y/N happy to see her friend smile and be in the moment, experiencing life to the fullest. Actually, Y/N got accepted to the NYU but couldn’t go due to the financial problems and Leo, she secretly wished she could study one day, maybe once Leo’s debt is paid she could go to NYU… what a dream. ‘’Gosh I need coffee so bad.’’ Melanie got her purse, ‘’Want one?’’ there was a café shop near to the flower shop, ‘’No, thank you.’’ Y/N was changing the water of the flowers that they use to make the bouquets, ‘’I’ll be back in a bit.’’ And she left, but soon the door opened again so Y/N thought that it was Melanie forgetting something so she didn’t look up, however, once she heard a man clearing his throat she looked up, it was him. Standing in his black clothes, his bruises healed,
(https://open.spotify.com/intl-tr/track/1oAwsWBovWRIp7qLMGPIet?si=8880b5fa44404713)
(this is the song I was listening to on the playlist I’ve made. Don’t forget to check it out 😊)
‘’Hello.’’ He greeted with a gruff voice and stoic expression, ‘’Hi.’’ She replied with a soft smile, glad to see his bruises healed. ‘’A bouquet of red roses, right?’’ she asked, he only nodded. This time there was a strange electricity between them, or maybe Y/N was going crazy. Bucky hesitated to go in, he waited outside of the flower shop for an hour and once she saw the blonde girl leave it was his cue, his heavy boots dragged him inside and there she was in a simple t-shirt and jeans and yet she looked perfect, her skin pure and soft, she had a focused look on her face as she was changing the vases, adding water, Bucky could watch her for hours but he didn’t want the other girl to interrupt them so he cleared his throat to get her attention, she looked up with those eyes and Bucky approached, the inside as usual smelled fresh and sweet, something he found he could get used to. Ever since he first saw her whenever he saw flowers he remembered her, well… Y/N had made a place for herself in his dark mind already, Bucky didn’t need any reminder to remember her during the day since his mind utterly and completely occupied by this sweet and oblivious woman. She picked up the red roses, getting them ready for the bouquet, ‘’Your bruises healed.’’ She commented and regretted it in the exact second, what was it to her anyway? Why did she care?
‘’I had a pretty woman looking after me.’’ Bucky said never leaving his blue eyes on her, his remark made her stop for a split second, she had a smirk on her lips, so he found her pretty… interesting. It was so subtle that if Melanie was there she wouldn’t be able to understand who was the ‘’pretty woman’’, it had been a while since someone called Y/N ‘’pretty’’ and she liked the feeling. ‘’I’m sure she wouldn’t want to see you like that again.’’
‘’Yes, she was clear on that. Very bossy I might add.’’ He replied cockily, his gloved hands on the marble desk by the register, leaning slightly, ‘’Maybe you need a bossy woman in your life. Seems like that’s how you learn things.’’ Y/N couldn’t believe how chatty she was in this moment, after patching him up maybe they had gotten a bit closer, even though she didn’t know his name, age, anything really. Bucky, usually a stoic man had a smile on his face, she saw it when she gave him a quick gaze, it surprised her actually to see him relaxed and with a smile. He looked like a serious man from the outside, if she knew how subservient he could be for her… she would be in shock, Bucky knew, he knew himself and he could already imagine himself on his knees, getting orders from her, doing everything she asked, she didn’t need to even ask for things, he could just sense and make them happen. His azure eyes were intense so she made sure her eyes were focused on the bouquet, Y/N still didn’t have any idea who these roses go to but she was too afraid to ask. Sometimes ignorance was a bliss and she relied on that. ‘’All done.’’ Y/N finished and smiled brightly, proud of her work, she loved creating things. He gave her the money, she gladly accepted and placed it on the cash register, there was a pause on both of their sides, neither of them said anything like; ‘’have a great day’’ or ‘’thank you…’’ soon Bucky cleared his throat, her eyes were like a labyrinth, the hand he was holding the roses squeezed the bouquet before speaking, ‘’Bucky…’’ he found himself revealing his name, he shrugged a shoulder, ‘’I don’t know, thought you might wanna know the name of the guy you patched up.’’ He added nonchalantly, Y/N extended her hand, ‘’Y/N, nice to meet you Bucky.’’ He accepted her soft hand, his large, gloved and calloused hand wrapped her small one, he swore his cold heart was warming up, of course he knew her name, last name, her jobs and home address but her name coming from her meant that she acknowledged him fully. He wasn’t just a random customer anymore, he was someone she knew his name. If it wasn’t for the golden door bells maybe they would’ve stood there, hand in hand but the sound made them pull away, it was Melanie, ‘’I know you didn’t want one but I got you anyways-‘’ she paused when she saw the ‘’Rose Guy’’ he only nodded at Y/N and left without a word, ‘’He is back?!’’ she sounded excited, ‘’I guess he is.’’ Y/N replied shortly, turned her back so that Melanie couldn’t see the expression on her face, ‘’Lucky us!’’ Melanie placed the cups on a near table, she seemed clueless so Y/N exhaled deeply. Was she creating things on her mind or was it plain obvious that he was interested in her? He also found her second job… what a coincidence , she thought and got back to work.
Bucky rode his bike back to his building, the conversation they had was running in his mind, he prayed he didn’t make a fool of himself. Riding his bike gave him a certain peace, feeling the wind and adrenalin was helping him focus on the road and his destination. Once he parked his shiny Harley he marched into the building and climbed up the stairs, gave Mrs. Rodriguez her surprise bouquet of red roses, which wasn’t a surprise anymore since he started this routine with her and every time her brown eyes lit up and it was worth every penny. ‘’Such a gentleman!’’ she gave his cheek a motherly squeeze.
When he got back to his flat he sat on the couch, exhaled deeply and took off his gloves to rub his face, his fear was that one day Y/N learning that he was the Winter Soldier and this could ruin everything. That’s why he didn’t give his name and last name, he only said Bucky, hoping she wouldn’t understand and it looked like she had no idea. He opened his laptop to check up on her social media, on her stories she had shared the flower shop, he sighed, anyone like Bucky could find her so easily and it made him feel more protective of her. Now he also had to protect her from people like him, a former HYDRA assassin being obsessed with a pretty woman wasn’t uncommon. He shut off the laptop and kind of threw it back on the coffee table, ‘’She is careless Alpine.’’ He complained to his cat as Alpine climbed on his lap, ‘’We have to change that.’’
After her job at the flower shop Y/N walked to her second job, the weather was fine, her mind was occupied by the ‘’Rose Guy’’ as Melanie called him. Y/N contemplated on whether or not she should tell Melanie his name but she wanted to hold onto that information. She felt as if it should only belong to her and no one else. ‘’Bucky..’’ as shewalked she whispered his name and instantly covered her mouth with her hand, what was she doing? Whispering another man’s name while she had a boyfriend? She looked around to see if anyone heard her but people were passing her by, occupied by their own lives. She sighed in relief, she felt guilt as she walked inside the store for her night shift, even though Leo was nowhere to be found they were still together, they were still in this relationship.
Bucky heated some pizza slices in his microwave for dinner and then dressed up in his usual black attire, it was getting late and his secret hobby waited him, what a beautiful hobby. He petted Alpine’s head, ‘’See you soon Alpine.’’ And the cat meowed back at him, he locked his door and walked towards the stairs, he saw a young boy sitting on the top, reading something, it looked like an old book, worn out, the boy was his upstairs neighbor’s kid, his name was Steve, which obviously reminded him of his childhood best friend, the infamous Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. The real Steve was in an elderly care right now, last time Bucky visited him Steve didn’t remember him at first, he had severe dementia, Bucky found himself getting angry at Steve so many times, he choose to get old and die instead of being with Bucky, just like the old days but also knew that nothing was like the old days anymore. They were both changed men who had faced the horrors of life, Steve Rogers just wanted to go down easily, of course Bucky was old, he was 106 but didn’t look like it and his aging process was slower than a normal human but he was also going to age, he just had still so many years ahead and his only hope was to spend those years with Steve, now that he was a healed man but fate had its own webs, separating them. ‘’What’s up Steve?’’ he asked and sat next to him, sighing heavily, once the kid looked up from his book Bucky saw a bruise on his cheek and his blood boiled. ‘’Reading.’’ He said with a shaky voice, his blue eyes were just like his best friend, and then they heard the fight his parents were having upstairs. ‘’You hungry?’’ he had noticed over the months that the parents of him had been neglecting the kid. Bucky sometimes gave him cash or bought him lunch to bring to the school. Steve shook his head as no but Bucky knew he was lying, ‘’I was heading to a store to get Alpine a treat, wanna join me?’’ Steve knew Bucky’s cat and sometimes he let Steve come in and play with her, Bucky also knew how much Steve liked to be on a bike. ‘’I have to ask my parents.’’ He said lowering his head, clearly not wanting to head upstairs to ask since the fight was going on still. ‘’I’ll ask them. Just wait here.’’ He bolted to his feet and climbed upstairs, he knocked on the door and the shouting stopped for a second, the man of the house answered. Bucky and John casually greeted each other on the hallways, John usually stalled him, talking about the latest games etc. ‘’Hey!’’ John put on a smile on his face, Bucky could see his wife standing behind, heaving deeply. ‘’I’m sorry about the shouting man, you know how women are, right?!’’ he was a disgusting man with a beer stained grey shirt and dirty pants. His beard was long and he looked sweating, he had green eyes that reminded Bucky a snake. ‘’I’m heading out to the store and I know how much Steve likes my bike.’’ He began, ‘’If it’s okay I can take him with me while you guys…’’ his eyes found the woman and the environment around her, there was a broken vase on the floor, empty. John wasn’t a guy who would get his wife flowers anyways, ‘’sort things out.’’ He finished, his blue eyes landing on John Smith.
The middle aged man shrugged his shoulders, ‘’Sounds like a plan. Uh..’’ he got closer to him, his breath smelling booze and Bucky had to turn his hands into fists his fingers digging inside his palms to prevent himself punching the guy. ‘’keep him busy will ya?’’ and he winked, he clearly had some plans with his wife after a fight, Bucky only nodded and turned his back, headed back to Steve. ‘’It’s your lucky day kid. Let’s go!’’ it wasn’t easy to be cheerful to a kid whose parents fight and fuck each other all the time, however, Steve’s bright smile made Bucky also smile genuinely.
Tag List: @pao-prazz @ruexj283 @lacey-mercylercy @idontcareforausernamesblog
Silent Obsession
Summary; After he became a civilian Bucky's mind, body and soul was trying to adapt to his new life. He swore to himself that he was going to live the rest of his life alone, until he saw her. His distroted mind and broken soul ached to be with her, to be around her all the time. Could he manage it or ruin it for both of them?
A/N: Hey! I hope you like the series so far. I'm having fun writing it. Make sure to check out the Spotify playlist. xxx
TAG LIST IS OPEN!
Words: 2.017K
Warnings: Stalking!
Chapter Four
James Buchanan Barnes had been staring at his laptop’s screen for God knew how long. Sam made him buy a laptop and he wasn’t using it much since he had a phone, his phone was old but he didn’t care. It worked and that was the most important thing. He was on his couch, laptop on the coffee table, Alpine napping next to him and he was just staring at the screen. He found Y/N’s Instagram account. She didn’t have many pictures but the ones she had were very beautiful. Her smile was contagious and she looked so care free, it made Bucky wonder what happened to that girl? He knew that girl was still in there but he assumed life took a turn and one thing led to another. He wished he didn’t follow her to her apartment because that action gave him the information of her ‘’boyfriend’’ and he had to draw a line here. She belonged to someone else… the thought made his blood boil. What kind of a man would let his woman hustle?! He scoffed in disgust. ‘’I wasn’t planning on dating anyways.’’ He said to Alpine which made the cat purr, Alpine was a very talkative cat, she would respond to his words all the time. His phone rang and he picked it up, it was Sam, telling him that the government needed them on a small mission, it would be nice to kick some people’s asses and let his anger out so he said yes.
‘’I cannot believe the Rose Guy didn’t show up.’’ Melanie whined as they were closing, sweeping the floors and tidying the place up. ‘’Maybe his girlfriend dumped him.’’ She added which made Y/N chuckle, she didn’t tell Melanie that she had a second job and she saw him. For some reason she wanted to keep that information to herself. It had been a week since she saw him anyways. Y/N found herself disappointed when he didn’t come, she waited and had hope till the closing hour but he was a no show and she didn’t know why she was upset. She shrugged her shoulders and continued sweeping, cleaning and organizing kept her mind at peace and it was her escape. Ever since Leo moved in with her she was a cleaning maniac, the skin of her hands got dry and cracked due to the chemicals and they bled sometimes but seeing the clean sinks, surfaces made her feel like she accomplished something.
After they finished their job they said goodbye and parted ways, Y/N really liked Melanie but every time Melanie asked her to hang out outside she had to decline, eating out or even going out for simple coffee was something she didn’t have the luxury of. She kept coming up with lies,
‘’I promised Leo.’’
‘’Leo is taking me out tonight.’’
‘’We’re going on a weekend getaway.’’
The truth was that sometimes Leo didn’t even come home for a day or two and she never asked anything. She couldn’t handle the truth and she actively choose to stay in the dark side, mind her own business. With these thoughts she walked to the store she worked at, after learning that she had a second job and it was night shift at a market Leo didn’t say anything, he brushed it off to be exact. It made her angry, she was the one paying the rent and the bills and helping him with his gambling debt. She sighed as she wore her uniform, which was a blue shirt that had her name, she sat on the uncomfortable chair behind the cash register and opened her book. She never allowed herself any luxuries except books and usually got books from the library and she was a regular there but sometimes she wanted to own the book she was reading, a piece of literature in her home so if she liked a book very much she would buy it and add it to her collection at home. It was all she could do and afford, reading. Sometimes cleaning didn’t help with her non-stopping brain. She had few people come in, buying some products and leaving, it was a calm night and she was liking the calm. She would rather stay here than going back home. And she heard the door being opened, her head casually looked up to see the customer and it was him.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw his face being bruised, dark circles under his crystal blue eyes, a swollen lip and a cut on his eyebrow, dark purple bruises here and there. Y/N found herself bolting to her feet, walking towards him with fear in her eyes, ‘’What happened to you?!’’
Bucky had just arrived from the mission, it had been a week, at first it was an easy mission but then it got complicated and he had few bruises, nothing he didn’t experience before and he realized he didn’t have any first aid kit in his bathroom so he got on his bike, he rode to her second job, just to see her after a week but if he had known that she would be this worried he wouldn’t have walked inside at all. When he walked inside her pretty eyes found Bucky and in those eyes he saw the primal fear, fear for someone she didn’t even know, an undeserving person… He was a super solider which was something she didn’t know and his wounds healed more quicker than a normal human being but it wasn’t instant so he needed medicine etc. Bucky froze when she stood up and rush to him, being this close, there was a significant height difference so she had to look up at him, he found it adorable and liked it very much. ‘’Uh..’’ he felt his mouth open but couldn’t speak, he closed his mouth and it hurt a bit due to the bruise, ‘’Just.. got into a fight.’’ It wasn’t a lie, he was beating the shit out of bad men and they jumped on him. Ever since Wakanda he never killed an enemy, his move was to get their weapons and neutralized them. He wasn’t a killing machine anymore and he wanted to show that. ‘’Come.’’ She said and Bucky followed her immediately, like a trained dog. Y/N took him to the back, there was a storage place, ‘’Sit.’’ She said with authority that it made Bucky sit in a second. He was a solider after all and he was prone to follow rules. Y/N brought a small first aid kit, pulled a chair to sit in front of him, she placed the kit on her lap. Y/N was used to cleaning up bruises so her hands worked like magic, the only sound was the freezer working, the white florescent lights made the storage place look like an interrogation room but Bucky felt somewhat normal. He usually let no one touch him and this girl was patching him up. She cleaned the small cuts and open slits with antiseptic and then rubbed some ointment, she was surprised to see him sit like a statue, unmoving. Lastly she placed a band aid on the cut on his cheek, it was deeper than the other cuts. ‘’Change the band aid every day.’’ She said and stood up, ‘’You need first aid kit at home so I’ll give you one,’’ she closed the kit and handed it to him, ‘’just this once. Don’t get into trouble again.’’ This was the first time she was talking to him as a normal person than their usual customer and employee dynamic. He also got up, ‘’Thank you.’’ He managed to say, he wasn’t use to people just helping him or being nice for the sake of kindness and humanity other than Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez and the pain in Bucky’s butt Sam Wilson. Bucky was used to being treated like an object to serve the needs of bad people. He just stood there, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the kit, he was dressed in black, black pants and boots, black hoodie, leather gloves. She was also standing there, her pretty eyes looking around than him, ‘’I..’’ she began, ‘’I should get back to work.’’ She said and head to the door, Bucky followed in silence. He could feel the pull between them, wherever she went he would follow and he liked it, as he walked behind her in the store he knew that he wasn’t going to stop. He was going to see her, follow her, be her shadow and he was fine with it. A protective shadow who would o anything and everything for her.
She walked behind the cash register, ‘’I want to pay for the kit.’’ Bucky said, he didn’t want to put her in any bad situation, ‘’No, It’s on me.’’ She said calmly, she felt safe and could be more rational now that there was a space between them, his outfit, the way he held himself and his bruises made him look so virile that she had forgotten a man could look and have that energy. He sighed, ‘’Alright.’’ And then there was a pause between them, ‘’I should go.’’ Bucky announced, he raised the hand he was holding the kit, ‘’Thanks again.’’ His ocean eyes couldn’t stop staring, ‘’Next time you’re buying it so don’t fight.’’ She found herself being bold, deep down Y/N didn’t want him to fight and get hurt, he had a pretty face and she wanted it to stay like that. ‘’Yes ma’am!’’ Bucky said respectfully, if it meant that getting into trouble and getting few bruises would make her open up to him then he was planning to hire some men to beat him so that he could come back to her with an excuse. Y/N chuckled at his response, ‘’Good night.’’ She said as he was walking out, ‘’Night.’’ He replied and left the store.
Bucky walked to the empty alley he parked his bike and leaned on it, after their small interaction he wasn’t going to go home, home could wait. He was going to wait like he did last time, make sure she got home safe and then he was going to get back to Alpine and rest. He observed the small kit, she just touched that and now he was holding it, in his large hands, he could feel his cold heart beat faster, this was the first object that Y/N had touched and he got to keep it to himself. His distorted and dark mind wanted more but he calmed himself, they had plenty of time for that.
When her shift ended Bucky had been waiting in the dark alley for hours but his body didn’t feel any exhaustion, not when it come to her anyways. He got onto his bike and kept a safe distance, he made sure to wear his helmet, he didn’t want her to see him and be scared of him. She looked so fragile, helpless, and vulnerable and so.. so perfect.
Once she reached her building Bucky exhaled deeply, she was at home, he could go back to his.
Y/N opened the door slowly, it was locked which meant she didn’t have to be silent, on edge.. he wasn’t at home. She walked inside, closed the door behind her and leaned on it, exhaled deeply. She didn’t know when Leo would come back and honestly she didn’t care much. Her weary mind was reliving what happened on her late night shift, after not seeing the Rose Guy for a week he showed all bruised, from the beginning he looked like he had a dangerous life but she never thought she would see him like this. He was a scary man but the way he obeyed her tonight surprised her, she said follow he followed, she said sit and he sat… Y/N was so tired that she slowly sat on the floor, she couldn’t stop thinking of him, how he was calm, how his blue eyes looked at her.
Tag List: @pao-prazz @ruexj283 @lacey-mercylercy @idontcareforausernamesblog
Thank you for reading. :)
Bucky Barnes Fanfiction!
Silent Obsession:
Summary; After he became a civilian Bucky's mind, body and soul was trying to adapt to his new life. He swore to himself that he was going to live the rest of his life alone, until he saw her. His distroted mind and broken soul ached to be with her, to be around her all the time. Could he manage it or ruin it for both of them?
This is the playlist I made for the series;
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four
Silent Obsession
Summary; After he became a civilian Bucky's mind, body and soul was trying to adapt to his new life. He swore to himself that he was going to live the rest of his life alone, until he saw her. His distroted mind and broken soul ached to be with her, to be around her all the time. Could he manage it or ruin it for both of them?
A/N: Hello guys! Not me being consistent lol! I'm enjoying this very much and I hope you do too. Let me know what you think.
This is the playlist I made for the series;
TAG LIST IS OPEN!
Warnings: Dark Romance. Stalking.
Words: 2.691K
Chapter Two
It had been a week since the game night, Sam had mentioned a mission coming up, it wasn’t soon but Sam didn’t have to hear him say yes, he was always ready for a mission. A mission was an only thing that made Bucky comfortable, he had been so use to being a soldier and a killing machine that it made his mind calm and relaxed, he liked planning and following the plan, getting the bad guys behind bars or under the ground was something he knew how to do, getting a new life? That was something else. He had woken up in cold sweat, on the floor of his living room, he had a thin blanket on him, covering his bare chest and he could feel his dog tags stuck to his wet chest, he was hyper-aware of the sweat, the dog tags, his navy blue shorts and the blanket on him, he sat breathing heavily.
He woke up before his alarm which was set to 6 am. It was 5.38 in the morning, the nightmare felt too real, as if he were there pulling the trigger. He huffed and got to his feet, he marched to his bathroom to start the day a bit early. As he took a shower with warm water his mind drifted to the girl he had seen a week ago. Was she also getting ready for work or was it a day off? His mind already making a plan to ride the bike near her workplace, maybe Mrs. Rodriguez needed groceries and he could pick them up, on his way he could also take a tour around a certain flower shop. He left the shower, dried himself with a towel and walked to the bedroom to get dressed. He wore a dark grey hoddie, black pants, boots and leather jacket with leather gloves. Alpine was content, not moving a muscle on the couch, he put some cat food and water in her bowls and got his house and bike keys from the kitchen counter, ‘’See you later Alpine.’’ He said and rubbed her head before he left his apartment. He first knocked on Mr. Nakajima’s door, they were on the same floor, ‘’I’m coming!’’
he heard the old man’s yell, he was moving slow due to his age. Mr. Nakajima answered the door with a grumpy look as usual, ‘’Hey Mr. Nakajima, I’m heading out do you need anything that I can get you?’’ every time Bucky saw the old guy he felt this sour feeling in his stomach, the sour feeling of regret and punishment. Bucky was punishing himself, in his mind he murdered Mr. Nakajima’s innocent son and Bucky had to pay the price, to him it didn’t matter if he was a brainwashed solider at the time. ‘’No, thank you but do ask Mrs. Rodriguez.’’ He was a simple man with few words, didn’t like to talk too much and always straight to the point, Bucky saw himself in him. ‘’Will do. Have a great day.’’ And the door shut to his face.
He used the stairs as usual and reached Mrs. Rodriguez’s door and knocked softly, soon the old lady answered, ‘’James!’’ her brown eyes got brighter with seeing him, ‘’Such a handsome face to start my day.’’ She added and Bucky smirked, ‘’I have some errands to run, do you need anything from outside?’’ The old lady smiled kindly, ‘’Ah, you’re a life saver James. I need eggs and flour. Here let me get my purse.’’ But Bucky stopped her, ‘’Please Mrs. Rodriguez, I’ll get back with those soon. You always share what you bake so let me.’’ He raised his gloved hands in protest, he learned from his ma that he should be a gentleman and help women all the time. ‘’Dear James! You’re such a sweet boy, not many left like you these days.’’ She looked sentimental, maybe she remembered the times where men were real men. ‘’See ya later.’’ Bucky said and headed to the stairs again to leave the building. He didn’t have any errands to run, he just needed and excuse, an excuse so that he could justify his actions to his rational side of his brain. He got onto his bike, these past 7 days all he could think about was her. Her kind smile, skillful hands, soft demeanor, she represented everything he wasn’t and that draw his attention, on his bike he tried to focus on the road, his first stop was the market, he got some flour and eggs and then he left the market, few blocks down was the Floral Fantasia, his main goal. In his one hand he was carrying the bag and marching the pavement like a soldier in his heavy boots. A man on a mission. As he saw the place his heart started to beat faster than normal, the shop was open, it was 2 pm, the city was busy per usual. Cars and bikes were passing by, life was flowing for everyone around him. A kid passed, probably 7 or 8 years old, holding his mother’s hand and in his other hand he had candy, they stopped at the lights, the kid looked up to Bucky, his green eyes went wide, Bucky knew the kid recognized him. He was wearing a Captain America t-shirt of course he knew who was the Cap’s childhood best friend. Even though Bucky’s hair was short and he covered his metal arm at all times his face was the same, he had to leave before the kid made a scene but something happened that he couldn’t understand. The kid with green eyes smiled at him ear to ear and then his mother urged him to walk. He froze for a second, didn’t know what to do and then he saw the green light so he walked. His feet took him to the shop like a trained memory even though he had been here once. Carefully he pushed the door and walked in, the bell rang as he got inside, the same fresh smell hit his nose and his distorted and dark mind associated the sweet scent with her. This time she wasn’t at the back, she was at the front, behind the cash register and her head lifted as soon as she heard the door being opened and that damn beautiful smile, deep down he knew that she had to smile like this to everyone who came in and it didn’t sit right with him. She was wearing blue jeans, a bit baggy, maybe she had lost some weight but
didn’t buy a new pair, and she had a white tank top and a blue shirt on top, her golden name tag on her left side, Y/N… what a name, a certain feeling of possessiveness washed over him, he wanted no one but himself to say her name. His eyes wandered on her chest and up her face. ‘’Hello Sir, how may I help you?’’ she asked with that soft voice, he approached, he placed the bag he was carrying on the white counter and he leaned on it with his two hands, towering over her, with broad shoulders, ‘’I would like to have a bouquet of red roses please.’’ He said with a flat tone but his eyes weren’t flat at all. His ocean eyes found her Y/E/C eyes and dared her to look at him directly. The other girl was watching the scene unfold and didn’t make a sound. ‘’Of course.’’ She nodded and Bucky noticed the pink dust on her cheeks, his eyes followed her every move. She got the roses and everything she needed to make that bouquet, Y/N noticed the flour and eggs inside the bag, ‘’Do you bake?’’ she asked out of curiosity, he didn’t look the type, with her question he paused, observing her first, was she interested? Maybe or maybe not. Her hair falling from her shoulders and covering the side of her face, he wanted to reach and tuck a strand behind her ear and he had to struggle with himself to not do it. ‘’No.’’ he said and then the stillness followed, she looked up for a second to meet his gaze and when he didn’t continue explaining she lowered her head to do her job, he felt bad, very very bad. ‘’Uh- a neighbor of mine does. She needed the ingredients.’’ He shortly explained and it made her look at him again, if it meant that him talking would make her look at him, Bucky would never shut up, even though that wasn’t characteristic of him at all. ‘’How kind of you to get her groceries.’’ She commented and for once in years Bucky blushed, he lowered his head, he didn’t know what to do with that strange heat in his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip in desperation. ‘’Please praise me more..’’ his mind begged in silence, even though this was the second time he saw her, Bucky knew he was getting hooked but in silent obsession.
‘’All done.’’ She announced later, till then he noticed he watched her like a predator and to their audience it must have been a good show. ‘’That’ll be 40 dollars.’’
Bucky reached to his wallet inside his leather jacket, got 40 USA dollars and extended to her with his non metal hand again, just to feel that tiny touch through his gloved hand. A sudden rush of worry washed his entire body when he saw a red hand mark on her delicate wrist, and then rage followed. His blue eyes looked at the bruise and then up at her pretty eyes, she realized what was happening and quickly got the money and placed it on the cash register. ‘’Have a great day Sir.’’ She said with a quick breath, ‘’Thank you. You too.’’ He said slowly as his mind was contemplating on what to do. He got the roses and his bag and then unwillingly left the flower shop.
Why did she have a bruise on her wrist?
Why did she look apologetic as if it was her fault?
Did she fell or…
He didn’t want to think further, he placed the things on his bike’s small compartment and got onto the bike, the Harley’s engine was heard by the girls inside the flower shop and he rode the bike, not knowing a pair of pretty eyes watching from the window of the shop. On his way back home his mind didn’t give him a rest, he exhaled deeply as he parked his Harley and got his things, with a stern look he got inside the building, climbed up the stairs to Mrs. Rodriguez’s door and knocked. The woman was surprised again, she didn’t expect Bucky to give her another bouquet of red roses but she was happy, thanked him so many times and promised to keep baking for him. Her presence gave him comfort and he liked that. Later he climbed up to his place and unlocked the door, Alpine greeted him with meows and rubbing herself on his legs, he closed his door behind him and locked it. ‘’Hey baby girl.’’ He greeted, he was grateful that he had Alpine, she was the one who kept him alive and gave him a reason to wake up every morning and recently there was another reason to wake up from his nightmares... as Bucky remembered her he remembered the mark on her wrist. He flung himself on the couch which was covered in Alpine’s white fur but he didn’t mind.
‘’Come here sweet girl.’’ And Alpine jumped on his lap, he removed his gloves and started petting her, she was purring and he loved the sound of that. ‘’It’s stupid.’’ He found himself taking to his non verbal cat, ‘’Why do I even care? She is no one to me..’’ he was rather chatty today. Alpine was rubbing herself and body on his palm and meowing softly as if she was trying to give her ideas, he chuckled, ‘’I’m going insane aren’t I Alpine?’’ He got up and looked at his silver watch on his wrist that was non vibranium. It was 6 pm, he was hungry and decided to eat outside. There was a small Japanese place nearby, a place he usually went with Mr. Nakajima but tonight he wanted to go alone and eat some sushi, maybe a bowl of ramen. He liked Asian food and even though that place was small it was the best. He never trusted big restaurant chains because the food was mediocre in those places, however in small business, especially a family restaurant had the most tastiest dishes. ‘’Alright alright, I’ll get you something extra!’’ he protested to Alpine who was protesting as he left his flat.
The place was crowded and it was easy to blend in the crowd, a trick from his Winter Soldier times. It was a rather dark place with small dark brown tables and a bar place, one could see the chef making the dishes behind the bar, the delicious smell of soy sauce made his stomach growl, he sat behind. It was an old style restaurant where they had a menu book and order, he liked it very much. He decided to order a plate of sushi and a beer so he raised his hand, the waitress and she was also the bartender Leah came to get his order, they got used to each other, he was a regular customer here. ‘’Where is your pal?’’ she asked smiling, ‘’Oh, he was tired so you have me.’’ He replied and gave is order, ‘’Thank you.’’ Didn’t forget to thank her, the service workers were the backbone of this country and he was careful to treat them with respect.
He could hear half Japanese and half English words from the customers, most were also regular, he could speak Japanese thanks to his training under HYDRA he could speak so many languages. They were talking about mundane life problems, how they’re paying their mortgage, their kids and wives, the restaurant had mostly male customers so topics were sports, their wives and kids and their debts. He felt an outsider every time he heard the conversations, he never had a wife to complain about, hell he didn’t even have a proper long term relationship, yes he was popular among the ladies back then but mostly short term and then the war happened, the rest was history. Now he was 106, didn’t look like it but felt like it in his every fiber. His order came as he was thinking about his life and having a crisis, he thanked again to Leah. ‘’Let me know if you need anything else.’’ He nodded and she walked away. As he took his first bite he imagined Y/N sitting before her, eating together, it was such a simple daydream but felt so far away and out of reach.. he shook his head and focus on his plate.
It was maybe around 9 pm when he left the restaurant, he had few beers and talked to couple of guys, ‘’Damn, I forgot!’’ he talked to himself, he promised Alpine to get her a treat so he hopped on his bike and rode to nearest convenient store.
He walked inside the store, no one was around, it was getting late. He walked the aisles and found a treat for Alpine and marched to the front to pay and he dropped the can. It was her, now she had a blue uniform, a name tag again and she also froze when she saw him but she was the one who quickly shook her head and smiled, ‘’How may I help you?’’ said looking up at him, Bucky picked up the metal can and placed it on the counter, she scanned it, ‘’That’ll be 5 dollars.’’ She replied, his mind was hazy. He gave the 5 dollar bill, ‘’Thank you. Have a great night.’’ She smile and said, but he could see the realization in her pretty eyes. ‘’Thank you.’’ He managed to say and left in hurry.
Thank you for reading. :)
Chapter Three
Silent Obsession
Summary; After he became a civilian Bucky's mind, body and soul was trying to adapt to his new life. He swore to himself that he was going to live the rest of his life alone, until he saw her. His distroted mind and broken soul ached to be with her, to be around her all the time. Could he manage it or ruin it for both of them?
A/N: Ever since I've heard that song by Massive Attack all I can imagine is stalker bucky! Enjoy. TAG LIST IS OPEN!
This is tha playlist I made for the series;
Warnings: Dark Romance. Stalking.
Words: 3013K
Chapter One
‘’You’re alone.’’ His therapist said in a calm manner but Bucky knew she was frustrated with him. ‘’You’re 100 years old, you have no history, no family-‘’ he had to cut her off, ‘’Are you lashing out on me Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional.’’ It wasn’t a nice session to say the least. He was a civilian now and he had to get therapy once a month, at first it was every week and it was horrible. He never believed in shrinks, maybe that was his old fashioned side talking but in Wakanda, he was making progress. Sometimes he would just sit in his small flat and imagine that he was in Wakanda again, in his small hut, surrounded by divine nature and animals… how he missed that place. Bucky observed his Doc, she was in her middle ages, married and had two children, one could see the photos on her glass desk, she always had a plain shirt and plazzo pants, her hair tied back. Thanks to his training she could deduce human behavior so meticulously perfect that he didn’t even need to talk to them to get to know them. He would just know. ‘’Your homework,’’ she began, obviously fed up with him not being so cooperative, ‘’Stop ignoring Sam Wilson’s calls and start making new friends. I know you’re not gonna but-‘’ she sighed, looking at his stoic expression, ‘’go on a small date.’’ With her last sentence he scuffed and rolled his blue eyes, that was out of the question for him. How could someone trust him and how could he trust someone?!
‘’At least call Sam back.’’ She pleaded. The session was over, he got up from his seat, ‘’Will do.’’ He gave her a soldier salute and then waltzed out of her office, as he was about to close the door with his high senses he could hear the woman sigh and write on her notes. The soft sound of pen making contact with paper filled his already buzzing mind. He marched the halls of the building, he noticed the way people who work here avoiding making eye contact, moving out of his way. He knew the effect he had on people, they were afraid of him, as they should be because he didn’t even trust himself, he was healed in Wakanda, thanks to the community there especially Wakanda’s highly trained Dora Milaje but he was in fear that one day he was going to snap and become the Winter Soldier again. Of course his therapist didn’t know this fear of his, he wasn’t good at opening up, giving details.
Today he was off, didn’t have anything to do so his plan was to go the pub near his home and drink, maybe see Mr. Nakajima, Bucky was living in an apartment complex with his neighbors but he was only talking to Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez.
The reason why he was helping Mr. Nakajima was that when he was the Winter Soldier he had killed his son, he was trying to make amends and this was his way of saying sorry. He was helping him and keeping him company. Mrs. Rodriguez on the other hand was just a sweet old lady who would bake for him and Bucky would take out her trash and help her carry the groceries. As he was marching to his Harley he thought about Doc’s words, ‘’You are alone…’’ no, he wasn’t. Even though his friends were old he still had some people around him… maybe he should return Sam’s calls.
On his bike he had an idea, he was stopping at the red light, Mrs. Rodriguez once mentioned that her husband, until his last day he would get her a bouquet of red roses every week. Bucky wanted to surprise the old lady who was like a mom to him at this point, (even though he was actually older than her) it would be a nice surprise. The city was crowded as usual, he loved to watch people, most of them were in hurry. Hurrying to pick up their kids from school, getting groceries, trying to run to their appointments… life was normal for them but for James Buchanan Barnes Jr. life had never been normal. Even back in the 40s he was protecting his ma from his dad, he was hustling jobs before he became a soldier. It was never easy for him and it wasn’t going to be, he had made peace with that but sometimes, especially late at night as he laid on the floor of his small living room his mind dared to dream. A nice home, lights are on, soft music playing at the background and a woman greeting him as he enters their home… In those split seconds he would stop himself as soon as he realizes that he was dreaming something that could never happen. He didn’t see himself worthy of that kind of life.
He parked his bike on the empty ally and looked around, there was a flower shop across the street so he walked up to the shop. His boots heavy on the pavement, he had his black hoodie and his black leather jacket on top with black jeans and boots, he never forgot his leather gloves, he didn’t like people seeing his metal arm. He didn’t want to be recognized as the Winter Soldier, he was just Bucky.
The tall glass showed the inside, it looked like a cozy place, the door of the place was dark green, there was a writing on the tall glass it said ‘’Floral Fantasia’’ as he opened the door he could hear the golden bell that was attached to the door, the floors were dark wood, one could see the various types of flowers in large vases. The strong scent of freshness filled his nostrils, he had never smelt that many flowers in one place before, there was a young girl behind one of the counters and she was busy with decorating a vase, ‘’Hello Sir.’’ She smiled, Bucky didn’t return the smile, he was still standing, the door behind him. ‘’Y/N!’’ the young girl called, apparently she was busy to take his order. She smiled apologetically again, her blue eyes ran up and down on him, as she turned to go to the back of the flower shop she gave him a quick look again, Bucky could tell that this blue eyed blonde woman found him attractive, which made him feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Soon the blue eyed girl returned with another girl, now Bucky was close to the counter that had the cashier, waiting impatiently, he was about to leave when he saw her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66A_3uwuZ_I (this is the song that plays when Bucky sees her for the first time)
‘’My friend will take your order Sir, sorry to keep you waiting.’’ The previous girl said but Bucky almost didn’t hear her. His deep blue eyes focused on the new girl and as soon as he saw her something in him shifted. She looked up with those pretty eyes, eyes that could destroy empires, there was a height difference between them so she had to look up at him. She smiled kindly at him, she didn’t have any make up on, she was wearing a simple white long sleeve shirt, why was she wearing that in this heat? Bucky was covering his arm so he had to, her blue jeans fit her hips perfectly, her long hair tied carefully, Bucky could feel his heart picking up the pace, his flesh palm getting sweatier with a certain kind of feeling he couldn’t quite place. ‘’What would you like to have Sir?’’ she simply asked, Bucky had to clear his dry throat before he could speak, ‘’A bouquet of red roses.’’ He replied with a cold tone but deep down he could feel the strange attraction towards her. He watched her skillful hands work on the bouquet, she must have been doing this for a long time, ‘’Here you are.’’ She finished her work of art and extended the bouquet and he specifically got the roses with his non metal hand, just to feel her fingers brush the leather and maybe feel a fraction if he was lucky. ‘’That’ll be 40 dollars Sir.’’ He got the money from his leather wallet and used the same hand to give the money, their fingers brushed again, he wished he didn’t have the gloves but he had to. ‘’Thank you so much, have a great day.’’ She said smiling as she placed the money, he only nodded and left the place in a hurry. His mind was going to dark places such as waiting outside till her shift ends… he forced himself to walk to his bike, he placed the roses carefully on the small trunk that was at the back, got on the bike and started the engine and waited. His thoughts occupied by the girl’s sweet smile and beautiful face. He exhaled, ‘’She is just attractive, that’s all.’’ He thought, ‘’If it was the 40s I would’ve asked her out on a movie night, maybe we would go to the beach and drink coke..’’
After waiting on his bike for few minutes he left the empty ally.
‘’Gosh! He was dreamy!’’ Y/N’s work bestie Melanie pointed out as soon as the man left. They had to finish up the vases for a wedding. The bride had chosen white tulips with slight green here and there, Y/N’s focus was on the glass vase she had just finished decorating, she sighed, deep in thoughts. Was she going to have a wedding one day? ‘’I’m sorry, what did you say?’’ she asked, Melanie was sitting on one of the tables, swaying her legs like a child, her blue eyes looking at Y/N, ‘’The man who bought the roses, he was so hot!’’ she tried to remember but all she remembered was a stern look and a tall muscular frame, ‘’Oh, you think so?’’ Y/N had started a new vase, her hands quick. ‘’Girl, didn’t you even look at him. I wish he would come back! You know what, if he comes again I’ll let you know so that you’ll see how hot he is.’’ Melanie was persistent, ‘’Alright alright, get back to work.’’ Y/N said, she was few years older than Melanie and also their boss made it clear that when he wasn’t around Y/N was in charge because she was responsible and always got the job done no matter what. ‘’How are thing with your boyfriend?’’ Melanie was a chatty one, Y/N’s hands started to shake when she heard the question maybe because she didn’t eat lunch yet, ‘’He just moved in with me.’’ Y/N replied, forcing a smile. They had a huge fight this morning, that’s why she was wearing a long sleeved shirt, ‘’Oh after 5 years, finally!’’ Melanie said, it was true, Y/N and Leo were together for five years, she didn’t remember the time they were so in love, maybe the first year of their relationship… Leo was so nice and kind.. she often wondered what happened to that sweet boy who was replaced with a gambling monster. Leo had to move in with Y/N because he was in a lot of debt, she was helping him for maybe two years, giving him money and food and now he was in her small apartment, he had to be under the radar for a while so her place was the perfect solution. Y/N’s weary head felt more heavier than usual, she rested her hands on the counter for a split second, eyes closed, ‘’You okay?’’ Melanie immediately noticed her friend being dizzy, ‘’Yeah, just, I need water.’’ She managed to say, Melanie rushed to the back, they had a small kitchen at the back and a lounge area, she brought a tall glass of water for her friend, ‘’Here. You can sit for a while.’’
Y/N only nodded, her arms feeling weak.
Bucky never used the elevator, he was climbing up the stairs holding the bouquet in one hand, the other free. The government had placed him in that apartment complex to make him adjust to the new world, he had to be among people all the time and he detested it most of the time. The apartment’s flats were occupied by various people, old, young, single, married, so many different lives that made him feel stuck in a time capsule, he wasn’t that young boy who got drafted to war, he wasn’t a killing machine either, what was he now? He had no idea. He walked up to Mrs. Rodriguez’s door, knocked on it thrice, waiting patiently, soon the door opened and the old lady’s brown eyes smiled at him. He noticed that every time she saw him there was a light in her eyes, it made his heart get a warm feeling. ‘’Hi, Mrs. Rodriguez, these are for you.’’ He extended the roses, his mind flashing him with the image of that girl who had made the bouquet, so sweet, so innocent looking..
‘’Aw, James!’’ she was one of the rare people he revealed his first name, she was now smiling ear to ear, there was dust of flour on her chubby fingers, she must have been baking again, per usual. Her pink apron was old and stitched so many times it reminded him the old times where one had to stitch their clothes, no one could afford a new one. ‘’These are beautiful. Thank you so much, you’re such a gentleman, girls must be all over you.’’ It made him scoff but he gave her a smirk, whenever he was around old people or people he was comfortable with his old self would come out with smirks, eye rolling and smug attitude. ‘’Wait!’’ she said as she walked back inside and brought back cookies, ‘’They are still warm.’’ She was so generous ‘’Thank you so much Mrs. Rodriguez, I’ll bring back the plate.’’ He gave her a smile and said goodbye, his flat was upstairs so he climbed the stairs again.
He reached to his dark brown door, immediately he could hear Alpine’s soft meows. He opened the door and was greeted by her, she was meowing as if complaining, ‘’Yeah yeah, I know I’m late. You’re just like my Ma.’’ He locked the door as he entered, his curtains were closed, there was a grey sofa in his living room, no rug, a small TV, it was a small place, connecting the kitchen and living room. At the back there was a bedroom and bathroom. He placed the plate of cookies on the white counter, noticing Alpine’s food bowl empty, ‘’Oh that’s why you were complaining.’’ He filled the white bowl, and made sure she had water as well and then he hit the shower, he stood there under the cold water, he hated the cold but it woke him up. The cold made him remember Siberia’s freezing cells, a memory he would kill to forget. After the shower, he removed the blanket over the mirror to see if he had to shave or not but he could wait for a few days, he covered the mirror again, he didn’t like seeing his reflection because it made him feel distorted to see a man who is 100 something years old still alive with a Vibranium arm, he walked back to turn on the TV, he had a towel wrapped around his waist, his dog tags hanging and sticking to his broad chest, there was a game tonight and he didn’t want to miss it. He sat on the sofa as he zapped and found the channel, once he had found the channel he went to his fridge which only had frozen pizza and beer packs. He threw one pizza into the microwave and got few beers, as the pizza was getting warmer he walked to his bedroom door, he opened it and hit he lights. He was actually using his bedroom as a dressing room, he had a wardrobe and a bed that has never been slept on. He wore shorts and threw the towel on the bed, and walked back to get the pizza. He liked game nights, it reminded him the old times where Bucky and Steve would listen through radio with friends. There was a dominant knock on his door, he huffed, Bucky took the pizza out of the microwave and walked to the door with cautious steps, other than the government only few people knew his location. When he checked the peephole he saw Sam’s face, he lifted one of his hand to show that he brought a six pack. ‘’Drop the weapons Bucky.’’ He rolled his eyes, Bucky huffed again and answered the door, ‘’Be quick.’’ He assured Sam inside because he didn’t want anyone of his neighbors to see his vibranium arm. ‘’It’s game night! Oh great you have pizza!’’ Sam placed the beers on the counter, got himself one and then dropped to Bucky’s sofa. Without a word Bucky popped another slice into the microwave for Sam.
‘’So, you’ve been ignoring me because….’’ Sam pointed it out as they were watching the game, it had been 20 minutes. ‘’I was busy.’’ Bucky cut short with a raspy voice, ‘’Busy with what? Hanging out with old people?’’
Bucky snapped, was Sam spying on him? Or someone else getting information on him? His distorted mind started to went into a whole spiral, was Sam trustworthy? Was he also following Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez?
‘’Relax blue steel!’’ Sam raised his hands in defense, ‘’I don’t got nobody on your tail! I saw your neighbor on the way to you, sweet old man asked me if I was heading to your place.’’ Bucky’s eyes travelled on Sam’s smug face to detect if he was lying, he couldn’t find any proof so he dropped it, for now.
‘’They might be old but they’re still people so I’m doing what Doc says.’’ He defended himself with an annoyed voice, finished his beer and got up, ‘’I’m assuming that your future girlfriend is going to be what-‘’ Sam pretended like he was calculating, ‘’around 80 years.’’ And laughed out loud, he couldn’t realize the change on Bucky’s face, his mind went to the girl he saw today, at the flower shop. ‘’Yeah, right.’’ He didn’t have the energy to protest to Sam.
Something in Bucky kept whispering, a soft voice calling him, he knew from the very first start that he wouldn’t be able to stay away from her.
Thank you for reading. :)
Chapter Two