Self Awareness - Blog Posts

Just had to come out as a mega lame nerd to my nerd bestie. He was very upset. Sorry Bestie-Dean.

hi my name is duchesstopaz and i’m a trauma survivor. there are so many things that i want to say, need to say… but no one who can understand if they don’t listen. i want to use my blog to just vent and get out all of this that needs an escape because it’s eating away at me. i am constantly evolving and changing and have grown so much over all of these years. i have a story to tell and this is one of the ways that i can share. so please watch as a 20 y/o shares way too much on the internet lol :). feel free to interact if you would like, feel free to give advice if you would like, but this is truly something purely for me that i would like to share.

Yall ever think abt urself outside of your own perspective and go ew. Like that's gross af who the hell allowed that.

I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me. -SE Hinton, The Outsiders.

A mood (I need to.) 😓

Dear me, stop expecting so much from people.

are you going to do it in 2025?

anything that you focus your mind onto is achievable because you are capable of anything!

so plan for this year. think of the things that you want to do, that you need to do, that will help you become the highest version of yourself. do the things without being affected by being lazy for just a day! you are more than your mood!

this is your era. 2025 is going to be your year. so act like it. make your younger self proud.

don’t do the same things year after year because if you put in the effort, you WILL see results. there isn’t anything stopping you. so get after it.

let 2025 be the year that you actually believe this. sending good vibes and positivity your way <3

Don't sabotage your future peace because familiar chaos is comfortable.

21 Reasons Women Cheat and What It Means for Your Relationship

21 Surprising Reasons Women Cheat in Relationships

We are not, nor should we be, immutable.

All things change,

The seasons as the earth spins round the sun,

The wind as air heats and cools,

The symphony of sounds as day turns to night.

We are no different,

We can and should change,

And yet we rail against it.

We hold this notion that must alway know who we are and thus must never change,

Yet we still know the earth as the seasons change,

We still know the air as the winds change,

We still know the songs of day and night no matter how they change.

To know yourself does not mean you cannot change,

But simply that you must accept change knowing that regardless it is still you.

𝐌𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 🍵

Hello beautiful humans, I wanted to share my morning and evening routine with you guys. I hope that it will inspire and motivate you! 💗 The times I wrote down are not an accurate, but more of an estimate that will differ depending on the day. My wake up and sleep time are goals for me at the moment. I want to get back into a good sleep rhythm before starting school (in less than a week).

𝕄𝕠𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖

6.35 Wake up and drink a glass of water.

6.40 Do either some calming yoga or meditate.

7.00 Make my bed.

7.10 Put on my my outfit.

7.15 Brushing my teeth, doing skincare and hair.

7.40 Journaling.

7.45 Check agenda, make to do list and planning.

7.55 Make breakfast and eat.

8.15 Go to school.

For this plan I took maximum time for everything. Because of this I will often be ready way before 8.15. During the remaining time on school days I will study, this can either be for school or for my own hobbies <3

𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕖

20.30 Clean my room.

20.40 Pack bag for tomorrow (if needed).

20.45 Pick out clothes for tomorrow.

20.55 Make a 'my day' post and journal.

21.10 Brush my teeth, do skincare and put my hair in a protective hairstyle.

21.20 (Optional) Meditate or some calming yoga.

21.40 (Optional) Read.

There is no clear time to be in bed in my evening routine. I have some very bed sleeping problems that I'm trying to get rid of by using some good routines, the goal is to get sleepy enough to go to sleep between 21.30 and 22.00. My intention is to start trying to sleep at 22.00 even if i don't feel sleepy. Since I'm still trying to get into a rhythm and don't know my ideal sleep time, my bed time may change.

If you liked my post be sure to like, comment and reblog! If you like my content, consider buying me a book. <3 Lots of love from me!

~ Pearl 🐚

🌸 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞

I've been active in the self-care community for a little bit and read lots of books about lifestyle. There is already a lot of lovely advice on this app, but there are some important aspects I haven't seen and some aspects I don't think are as important. I hope this helps some people to accomplish their dream lifestyle!  But in all honesty, I do mainly write this as a list and reminder for myself. This is going to take quite some time to read, but I promise you, it will be worth it. 

Before you read everything, I want to remind you that this is a long list of healthy habits. That does not mean you need to follow everything to be "that" version of ourselves, we need to be realistic. It's kind of like vegetables. Vegetables are healthy, and you should eat them, but you don't need to eat all the vegetables that exist in order to be healthy. You eat the vegetables that you like and align with your lifestyle. So follow the tips that you like and align with your lifestyle! 

𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕤𝕖𝕥

This is one of the most important parts of a healthy lifestyle. I have a lot to say here and on most other parts of this post so if you want to know more, just let me know!

💭Because I am mindset - this is one of the most important things you need to learn! If you want to feel loved, good enough, pretty (Or all because that is what you deserve) or anything else, the only thing you need to do is change the way you think. 

For a moment, I want you to think and answer this question to me: "Why are you good enough?" If you answered with your accomplishments, looks or anything that is not "Because I am me, and I am good enough." you are wrong. This may sound weird because in the self-care community we are taught that in order to be successful we need to have things like a morning routine, a bedtime and always need to take care of ourselves. While these are things that can improve your life, they do not make you any more deserving of love and care. If you let your happiness depend on anything but the fact that you are here and that you deserve it, you will always be unhappy. Even if you don't feel it now, the moment you feel overwhelmed and are unable to make up to your reasoning on why you are good enough, you feel depressed and undeserving. So the moment you don't do your task, you feel like you are incapable and not good enough. All because we base our self-worth on our actions instead of ourselves. You are putting yourself through so much unnecessary stress when doing that. You deserve better than that.

Let me repeat it out loud for you: "I am not doing my morning routine, am I still good enough?" YES, because you are you, and you are good enough. 

💭 Stop procrasiating - This is a hard one for me, since it is something I still struggle with to this day. But it is sososo important. You probably already know what you need to do to improve your life. Of course, you don't know everything, but you don't need to. A lot of things will come in your way when you are actually doing it, and you can't try out everything at once. But when you think about it, you find it easier to procrastinate than to actually do things. There can be so many reasons for that.

Stop watching so much content on YouTube and Tumblr on self-improvement if you are not going to do anything with it! This is a very easy way to procrastinate. Because you convince yourself that you are being productive, because everytime you watch content with new good advice you get an ephifhany. You are not going to do anything with the information, go watch a Netflix show, you will probably enjoy that more. You already know what to do, so go and do it, keep interacting with content that inspires you and learns you new things about self-care to try out, but don't use it as an excuse.

Let me tell you these very harsh words: If you're not going to start doing it in the next 24 hours, it's better to give up on it now. You don't have to do everything in those 24 hours, but set the first few steps. If you really want it, you should start acting like it. There is no perfect time to start, the only time you need is time to practise and exerience it!

💭 Be gratefull - We are so blessed. Even when going through hard times, there is still a lot of beauty to life. When looking at the news nowadays, it's very easy to get caught up in an overwhelming feeling of sadness or pain. Or with social media, it can be hard to see our own beauty when we see this overidealized picture of a model.

There is a last very important reason why you should practise gratefulness. And it's selective observation. We as humans think, see, feel, hear and smell a lot. Way too much for our brain to properly comprehend. Because of this, our brain will focus on certain things. These things may differ for everyone. But what we interact with a lot, we get used to. So, by interacting with positive thoughts and by appreciating ourselves and the world around us, we will notice these positive and pretty things. 

There are 2 ways I bring positivity and gratefulness into my life. The first one is one you've probably heard alot about: Writing down 3 positive things at the end of the day. I do this but also add a morning exercise, where I specifically write down 3 positive things about myself or my opportunities! The second thing I recently started doing is being aware of your surroundings. I got inspiration from a drawing on tumblr I found not so long ago. Instead of going on my phone when I need to wait for a while or putting on music when cycling to school, I sometimes just try to look around me and appreciate everything I see. When I do this, I  call out my appreciation in my head. I look around and think "Wow, the way that bird looks is just so magical; it looks happy and at peace." or even "The color of that mailbox suits the house so much." It helps me appreciate the little things.

💭 Protect your energy -

In the end, we are the ones responsible for our own wellbeing. Of course, we can partly depend on others, like our friends, family, our partner or even a stranger. But just as your priority is your own happiness, theirs should be their happiness too. That does not mean you can do what you want whenever you want without caring about other people. But by this I am implying that you should stop pleasing people and listen to what you want. Of course, you want to avoid toxic people and situations in general. But when you do get in touch with them, you can lay responsibility to them and wait for them to change or take responsibility by making your problem clear and distancing yourself from them and the situation if needed. 

Another way of protecting your energy i by being in tune with your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, write them down if needed, talk to people if needed, scream them out if needed, but always give them the space they need. Also learn when to take a step back so that you don't hurt others while feeling an overwhelming number of emotions. 

Take enough time for self-care. I would recommend making time for it in your routine. But also do it when you need it or feel like it. This is the only body and soul you've got, so you had better take care of it. Do this by eating things that fuel your body and that you like, drinking herbal teas, taking a bath and meditating (more o that later). It can be anything as long as it relaxes the body and mind. Personally, I like to keep 1 day a week to myself in which I fully focus on the needs of my mind and soul.

💭 Curiousity made the cat wiser - Curiosity should always be cherished. Curiosity is what makes us human, curiosity is what gives us the power to wake up and see what the day has got in store for us, curiosity is what keeps us busy and entertained. One of my favorite quotes on curiosity is from Plutarch: "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." It beautifully explains how knowledge feeds our brain and keeps us alive and warm while we should also take care of it.

You should always strive to learn new things every day. It feeds our brain, so that it can function properly. Not only that, ir keeps us entertained. Some things that I'm studying in my free time are:languages (German, Korean and a little bit of Italian). I started learning how to program and i just generally read a lot.

ℙ𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝

💭 Workout - There are a lot of benefits to exercise. A few of my favorites are: 

They make you happy (exercising stimulates the brain to release serotonin, this is known as the feel good hormone. It uplifts and stabilizes your mood but is also important for social behavior, memory, learning and appetite.)

It can help control weight (Because exercise can burn fat or help you gain muscle, it can either help you lose or gain weight.)

Getting enough weekly exercise prevents a lot of diseases (like strokes, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, many types of cancer and arthritis.)

It improves your daily energy levels (It boosts your endurance and improves your lung and heart health so that you have more energy throughout your day.)

It can improve your sleep (When you exercise your body releases endorphins. Studies have shown that these endorphins prevent sleep problems and limit sleep quality disturbances. They reduce sleepiness during the day so that you are more sleepy at night.)

Now we need to find out how much exercise you need. I would recommend getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day (except for your rest days). But this might be different based on your goals, the intensity of the sport, how many times a week you exercise, age and disabilities. So do your research! Get at least 1 day rest a week, but getting 2/3 would also work depending on your schedule. You don't have to go to the gym! You can do home workouts (HIIT, yoga, pilates, muscle, just search it up on YouTube), go for a run outside, join a sports club (like tennis, hockey, football or dance). 

💭 Sitting - Maybe you've already heard about it. But sitting is the new smoking. It is one of the biggest health problems nowadays and responsible for way more deaths than you probably think. 

Sitting for a long period of time can be very harmful. The average person in the UK sits for about 70 hours a week with only 2 hours of exercise. Comparing that to 20 years ago, we sat (on average) 3 more hours a day. Research states that prolonged periods of sitting have been linked to cancer, Alzheimer's disease, obesity, heart disease, poor cholesterol profiles, type-2 diabetes and asteoporosis. Sitting too much in a non-active posture without movement also comes with the risks of weakening our muscles and thinning our bones, reducing digestive health and depressive symptoms.

After hearing all those negative consequences, I am so happy to share that these are easily preventable. By taking short breaks while sitting for a long period of time, you allow your blood to fully circulate, and it can already heavily impact your consequences. An easy way to do this is to put a glass next to you while studying/ working, so that you have to take a short walk to fill the glass up again. I would not recommend doing this if you know it will make you avoid drinking water or if you are at a library. Another important way to prevent the harm that comes from sitting is having 30 minutes of physical exercise daily. Try to go on a daily walk and do stretch and yoga exercises or any sport of your choice. The best thing about this one is that if you don' t reach your goal one day, you could catch up later in the week. As long as you get 3 hours and 30 minutes of physical exercise a week, you are good. If this is to much for you, you could also try 20 minutes daily, but I would recommend 30. Last but not least, try to better your posture while sitting. Make sure your spine follows it's natural curve and when possible try to sit in an "active sitting pose". Please invest in good chairs, so that when you sit, the consequences are still minimal. 

Little reminder that you should not be scared of sitting. Sitting is not a problem, even when you do it a lot. But sitting for long periods of time without an active lifestyle and/ or having breaks in between the periods of sitting is very harmful.

💭 Food - At the moment, I am working on a post where I will talk about having a healthy diet. In that post I will talk more about eating specifically for your needs. And with that I will only share some basic tips on here that (in my eyes) are a necessity for everyone. 

The most important tip I can give anyone in terms of eating is focusing on a healthy microbioe (a more detailed post will be coming on this). The microbiom is the fingerprint of our gut system. Our microbiom is in direct contact with your brain. Having a healthy microbiom has an influence on your skin, health, feelings, stress, mental illness and lots of other things. Because of this, it got the nickname "Second brain".  The basics of having a healthy microbiom is eating enough fiber. For the average woman, the minimum is 30g a day and for the average man, 40g. Again, this is the bare minimum to keep our microbiom alive. The second one is eating a wide variety of plants: species, vegetables, fruit, beans, herbs, everything that comes from a plant. It is recommended to eat at least 30 different types of plants a week to make sure your microbiom is healthy. The last tip is fermented foods. These are the best treats for a healthy gut. It is good to mention that your microbiom does not need fermented foods to survive, but your gut will love you if you try to eat them more.

Try not to eat too much sugar. Eating more than the recommended amount may cause weight gain, acne and increased chances of heart disease, cancer and getting depression. The average woman should not consume more than 25 grams a day and the average man 36 grams a day. Please do not live by this principle. If you eat 40 grams of sugar one day, it will not kill you, and it won't make you any less perfect or disciplined. But try to swap out a big handful of candy, for a few pieces of candy with some veggies, fruit and nuts on the side. I personally prefer snacking on fruits and vegetables because my body feels better after eating them and I find them more tasty. You can pair vegetables with some humus or a yogurt and herb dip. 

Don't over or under eat. The easiest way to start with this is to eat fulfilling meals. Eat meals that keep you full by eating veggies, fiber and protein. Eat at least 3 meals a day and maybe a few small snacks.(I personally eat 1 or 2 depending on the day). If you have trouble with overeating, you could try asking yourself the question "Why am I eating this?" If the reason is not because you are hungry, you need to try and let it go. Sometimes you are allowed to listen to your craving, especially if you have learned to keep a balance with it. But if the foods are very rich in sugars or fat, I would use the method stated above and try adding things to balance the meal out and that fuels your body enough to not want to snack more. If you tend to under-eat, I would recommend eating a lot of small portions throughout the day. Although I would normally recommend 3 filling meals a day, I would change that to about 6 smaller balanced meals. Even though these are smaller meals, please try to get your daily nutrients. They are what keep you running. So try to make sure that most meals involve fiber, veggies or fruit, a bit of protein, carbohydrates and fats.

ℍ𝕪𝕘𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕖/ 𝕃𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤

💭 Skincare - I am not going to say too much about skincare because it is clearly not my strong suit, since I still struggle with acne a LOT. But i recently found out my pores get clogged very easily and a lot (once again it will suprise you) of skincare products have pore clogging ingredients. i use this tool to check on pore clogging ingredients and with the help of that have now created a new skincare routine. I have been using it for less than a week, but I think my skin has already improved a lot (but i could also be delusional). If I find out th methods and research I've done is working now, I will tell you more about it. Until then there are a few tips I would recommend.. Invest in sunscreen. It will help against hyperpigmentation and will minimize signs of aging in the long term. Don't make your routine too complicated. Try to find a simple cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen. You don't need much more because your skin can do most of the hydration and cleaning itself. If you have skin issues, I would recommend trying 1 toner or serum with an ingredient (do your research) against that. Most of the time, you won't need more. If you do, you can always add from there. 

If you have any skin issues that won't go away after all that you can talk to your GP, and they could prescribe you something. This is what I am considering, if what I am trying now won't work.

💭 Haircare - The most important information I will give to you is to find out your hair type. Once you've gained this knowledge, you can search for products that match your hair type. Once again, if you want a more elaborate guide on how to find out your hair type and what products will work for you, let me know!I would also really recommend using hair oil! You can either use a single oil, buy a premixed one or mix a few yourself. Different oils also serve different purposes. The most popular ones are:

Coconut oil - For repairing damaged hair.

Avocado oil - For shinier hair.

Rosemary oil - For hair growth.

Tea Tree Oil: For treating dandruff. 

I heat the oil up by putting a small bowl with the oil I will use in a bigger bowl with hot water.I put the oil on my scalp a few hours before showering and massage it in for at least 5 minutes. I would strongly recommend watching a Indian tutorial, because I stole all my methods from them. Try to invest in a microfiber towel to dry your hair. A normal towel can damage your hair and makes it less soft (in my experience). The last general tip I have is to wear a protective hairstyle to bed. Either braid it or put it up in a bun. This way, you will wake up with way better hair. An alternative to this is using a silk bonnet. That will keep your hair so soft and pretty. 

💭 Fashion - I feel my best and most comfortable when I feel pretty. In order to accomplish the style you want and look pretty, you can follow these 4 steps: 

Clean out your closet. Sell or donate clothes that you don't like or wear. While doing this, try to look for reasons why you don't like that piece of clothing. That way, you learn to understand your preferences better. 

Learn about your body type and what looks good on you. Of course, you don' t have to limit yourself to only wearing the things recommended, but it is a very easy guideline to help your outfits feel more balanced. While keeping this in mind, you can start playing around with fitting and find combinations that also look good on you, but it is important to understand what different sleeve types and lengts do to your proportions so that it's easier to adjust an outfit to your preference.

Make a pinterest board! Make a pinterest board dedicated to style and make sure to add at least 30 pins. Then you can look for similarities between the pictures you've saved. Please for the love of god, don't follow fast fashion brands. Of course, it's good to get inspired by trends, but it's so incredibly wasteful to buy and trow away clothing time and time again and its also not good for your wallet. 

The last step is to make a list of the things you need to add to your closet. You DON'T have to buy an entirely new warderobe. Look at the things you already have in your closet and write down a list of items you can add in order to increase those items. Try to start out with jewelry and a pair of shoes in your style and look for a few tops, dresses and bottoms. But the accessories are truly the most important, so try to invest in some good quality accessories, because they can make or break an outfit.

A good tip to help you not overconsume is to only buy something when you can style it in 3 ways for 3 different occasions. This way you make sure that you will actually use it!

💭 Carry yourself like a god(ess) - Your posture is so so so important! Is doesn't only influence how other see you, but also how you see yoursel (and if you've read my part about sitting, you've read that's also important for good health).

Your body language reflects what you think, but the opposite is also true. By standing in a powerpose you will start feeling more confident.

Make sure your spine holds its natural curve, your shoulders are relaxed end rolled back. When standing put your feet apart a little, so you stand stronger.

A good pose to practice standing confidently is the so called "superwoman pose". Put your feet apart, look straight forward, ball your fists and putt them on your hips. Standing like this for even 2 minutes will improve your confidence. I do this when I feel really stressed about a presentation or test (not in the middle of the classroom ofcourse, I will either do it in the bathroom, before coming to school or during the break).

ℍ𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕤

💭 Drinking water -The average woman should consume about 2.7 liters of water a day and the average man 3.7 liters. About 20% of this should come from your food. So, the average woman should drink about 2.16 liters of water and the average man about 2.96 liters of water. It is important to drink your water in order to stay healthy, get rid of waste in your body and keep your temperature normal.

💭 Hobbies - Having a hobby that we enjoy brings us joy and enriches our lives. It helps us learn new skills, de-stresses us, gives you new perspectives, prevents wasting time and learns you patience. A hobby can be found everywhere. It can be collecting something; a sport, singing, reading, programming, knitting, sewing, playing an instrument, baking, cooking and even making tea.

💭 Meditation -  One of the keys to having a happy, calm and balanced life is meditation. Meditation reduces stress, promotes your mental health, helps with learning, kindness and forgiveness, lengthens your attention span (I, for a fact, know most people need this with people's social media use nowadays.) It helps with being self-aware and there have been studies that showed that it has some impact on your physical health (we don't know on which level yet) and that it can prevent age related memory loss. You can start out with breathing exercises and work your way up to guided meditation and, if you are ready for it, meditate regularly. Don't give up, it will take some time to really get into and to get the results you want.

💭 Morning routine - A good morning routine sets you up for a good day. It helps you with getting in the right mindset and with starting the day in a relaxed way. Make sure you get your needed sleep hours. This will be different for everyone. But for teenagers, the average is between 8 and 10 hours and for adults, 8 hours is recommended. It is also good to note that women tend to multitask more during the day and, averagely speaking, need about 20 minutes more sleep than men. I would recommend a set time for your alarm every day. By doing this you will get into a good rhythm which will help you fall asleep, and you know for sure you are getting your needed hours. Everyone likes different things in their morning. Some things that are an absolute staple to me are, and I can't start off my day on a good note without them: Drinking some water immediately after waking up (helps me with waking up), meditating, journaling for 5 minutes, making my bed, doing skincare and having a nourishing breakfast. Chose the things that you find important. If you struggle with doing everything on bad days, you could always make a routine for good days, okay days and bad days. When you wake up, you get to choose which one you will do. This might make it less overwhelming. 

💭 Night routine - Most things have already been said when I talked about morning routines. My night routine is easier than my morning routine, because at the end of the day I have difficulty winding down, and a plan makes it less overwhelming to start. My staples for my night routine are: making sure my room is clean, packing my bag for next day (if needed), my journal for 5 minutes, brushing teeth and skincare. If I don't feel like sleeping yet, I will read in my bed or do a very calming yoga session. 

💭 Organize - I, for one, have quite some difficulty with staying organized. But while speaking with my coach at school he reminded me of the importance of organization. Even if you are not aware of it, the things you still need to do, take up a lot of space in your head. It's way more convenient to just write it in your agenda immediately, make a planner with everything you need to do, make a list of everything that bothers you. You need to stop wasting energy on being de-organized. This will also ensure that you don't miss out on anything. This also goes for your living/ work space. A cluttered workspace will clutter your mind!

𝕋𝕚𝕡𝕤

Some small tips I want to give you before ending this post. <3

💭 Phone/ social media - In order for you to have the best day and sleep, you should not use ur phone for a hour after waking up or before going to sleep. In general, you should minimize your use of social media. I would really recommend listening to this great Ted talk about the worth of a social media app. Because of this Ted talk I realized how much time I was wasting on social media. With all of that time, I can do so much, learn so much, go on so many adventures. Your phone is also really addictive, and you should take that addiction seriously. Phone addiction is a dopamine addiction, because of this. Because life will seem boring. If you want to feel alive and happy, don't overuse your phone and make clear boundaries with yourself. Try to live in the moment, not on your phone. 

💭 Sustainable energy -  I will make a more detailed post about this, because it is one of the things that helped me most. But the concept is very simple: learn to differentiate the things that give you energy and take your energy. And use that as a guide to help you fill your day. Studying is something that takes me a lot of energy. When I feel like my energy is getting low, I take a break after finishing the next task and go meditate or take a walk. This way you can keep thriving the entire day!

💭 Journaling - I would recommend journaling to anyone. There will always be a type of journal that suits you, so please look into it!I personally have 3 journals, I use one for journaling exercises, one for my morning & evening checkups and one is my coomonplace journal. A commonplace journal is a journal in which you write down anything that you learn. It helps you with remembering, but it's also easy to look things back up! 

English isn't my first language, so if there are any mistakes, please correct me. Although I am not very happy with how this post turned out out, I will still post it because I worked really hard on this. I hope my writing and presentation will improve next post. Lots of love and kisses! 💗

Be sure to like comment and reblog!

If you like my content, consider buying me a book. <3

Love Pearl 🐚

𝐌𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲

Monday 5/8/24: I've been wanting to do a complete cleanup, in the hopes of announcing to my soul that I am craving something new and better. But now I'm done, I can' t help but fear that I'm getting messed up again, that I will always be in need of a cleanup. I'm now trying to accept that we always need to clean up after ourselves mentally. We can either do it immediately and make time for every day or wait until I have gathered so much that needs to be cleaned up that I collapse from the pressure. I very much prefer the first option.

Studies: Nothing today, but I made a workout plan for the upcomming weeks.

Small tasks: I vacuumed my room and finally started writing on tumblr again!

Exercise: Nothing today, but I made a workout plan for the upcomming weeks.

Mental wellness: Just a lot of thinking and accepting and a really nice cup of tea.

3 things I liked about today: My room is finally clean, I am proud for doing things today, I finally ate my favourite breakfast today.

𝐌𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲

Wednesday 10/7/24: Today one of my best friends came to sleep over, we are talking about Tumblr as I'm typing this. We planned al sorts of activities that I like today, so this was mostly a day focused on wellness! 💗🌸

Studies: I've done nothing for my studies today., since i had no time. I will spend extra time on my language study to make up for it! 💪😊

Small tasks: Today I send some messages i've been procrasinating (one of my biggest problems), i've cleaned my room, did my morning routine and cleaned out my trash! Very proud of myself.

Exercise: Today I went on a walk, cycled for an hour and swam for 2 hours.

Mental wellness: Today me and my friends swam in a lake, it was so beautiful there and it always calms me down. I truly felt like a naiad (water nymph)! 🌊 We also went into the sauna and are going to put on some face masks! 🎭

3 things I liked about today: Hanging out with my beautiful friends, the feeling of swimming in the lake that was like I was one with nature and all my worries were gone, the snacks we baked.

Hello beautiful people, I am so happy to announce that I'm going to bring out new content! I've been working on some lovely guides: keeping a commonplace journal, guide to a happy lifestyle, having a healthy microbiome, guide to a healthy diet and guide to working out and gaining muscle!

I've also began reading in 'Sensitive: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World' from Jenn Granneman and Andre Solo. When I've finished reading I will definitely write something about this subject!

Last but not least, I've started a YouTube channel! I still haven't posted anything but I'm planning my first video and I'm very excited. if you want to, you can subscribe here. Don' t expect anything with really good quality because my camera quality is very low and that's what I'm filming on. 😭

Love Pearl 🐚

🍵𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐞, 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞!

Collection of the things I learned during my self improvement journey and want to share with the other amazing pretty people on here. <3

𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 🌸

𝐌𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 🍵

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 📜

🐚 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧

Hello beautifull humans! 💗 In order to keep myself and my progress in check I will start noting down my daily accomplishments and self care activities. I won't put everything on a masterlist here, but if you are interested into reading my daily check in, you can click on the tag "🐚 Pearls daily checkup" down below.

Bisexual Awareness Month!!!

are you aware of us?

we are aware of you.

Know Your "No."

Being an Old on Tumblr, I'm often down the rabbit hole of youthful angst and despair, especially from young women who don't know who/how to be in the world and are looking for answers in moodboards, trends, and memes. And listen — that doesn't end. It's why we have mid-life crises.

It's better to figure out your "no."

You gotta know your line. Your absolutely the fuck not.

Here's why...

Sometimes that "no" is hiding under a "yes." It's the guy who A1 d*ck who talks to you like shit. The high-paying job/competitive college program that stresses you the fuck out. The "Baddie" aesthetic that includes shoes you can't fucking walk in. You get what you want but because you didn't define what you didn't want, you're telling yourself this is fine.

When you start with Absolutely the fuck not, you free yourself up for exploration.

You put less pressure on yourself to have all the answers because as long as you don't see the Absolutely the fuck not, you can be guided by curiosity.

"Huh. What's over there? Let's try that on and see what happens."

No matter what your fave influencer says, you learn about life by living. You make a choice, it goes well, you learn what you like. You make a choice, it doesn't go well, you learn what you don't like. Rinse and repeat. This, and only this, is how you "figure it out." By doing.

When you pinpoint your Absolutely the fuck not, you trust that anything — no matter how good it looks on the outside — that requires you to do what you absolutely do not want to do is not for you.

Everything else? Fair game.

What you're currently searching is in real life, not on the phone.

Truth is like fire; to tell the truth means to glow and burn. ✨

She must be talking to me.

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen when you are praying or meditating, it happens when you are angry, scared, sad etc and realize that you have a choice to do things differently this time

This my thinking on a daily. And yes tumblr has made a huge impact on woman I am currently becoming.

Is Tumblr becoming more positive or am I just liking myself more every day 🤔

If we never try

How will we know?

“How can you enjoy horror?! How can you enjoy feeling fear and anxiety? What's wrong with you?”

I came across a video discussing this and it really made me think about myself, a horror fan who delves deep into the genre and loves to explore the different subgenres. But why do I enjoy it so much? Why do I prefer to sit in a state of anxiety and fear and watch others suffer?

The general answer would be: Because I am comfortable in that state. Those feelings I have lived within for most of my life, and it is where I feel most ‘safe’ in a sense. I feel that a lot of people can relate to horror in various ways.

Why?

Trauma. It all relates to the trauma I have endured from a very early age. Horror gives me various ways of sitting in these emotions and processing them. Even the different subgenres offer me different points of views and thoughts on how to approach these feelings and release them. No, I’m not talking about acting upon violence, because that’s just a very small part of horror.

Body horror is my favorite subgenre. The drastic metamorphosis of the human form turning into something we cannot comprehend - something that is alien to us. The suffering of being in that form that’s in between reality and the unknown. Struggling to understand it, attacking it because we don’t. I see my own body this way. I have never felt comfortable in my physical body. No, I do not suffer a debilitating disease or suffer the loss of body parts, but when I look at myself in the mirror I wonder, “Is this really what I look like?”

I forget that I do not look like the image I have of myself in my head and being reminded of that makes my stomach feel tight and I feel actual fear. I do not like how I look on the outside. I also do not like knowing what’s on the inside. Blood and gore make me queasy, not only on the screen or in a book, but in reality. The knowledge that my body is filled with fleshy pieces and liquid that can so easily be spilled and lead to my demise is terrifying.

Gothic horror. This one is a bit more subdued. It’s the past versus the present, time leaking into the future. It’s a reminder of how the past affects the present and how, in turn, the present affects the future. My past clings to me, I live in it. I am doing my best to let go, and movies in the subgenre and usually about doing just that. The happy ending of moving on from past trauma, of learning to cope healthily or close a chapter of your life to look forward to the future. This is a subject I desperately try to improve in myself, but this subgenre is where I feel so… understood.

Cosmic horror is so intriguing to me. It makes me dive into analyzing otherworldly subjects, working my mind to try and grasp whatever understanding I can from the horror introduced. It shows humanity struggling against an unknown but overcoming it… or being driven mad. It reminds me what it is to be human; how not understanding everything is terrifying, but real. We are not meant to understand everything, we cannot scientifically break down things and we can either accept that or fight against it.

Humanity’s true hubris is trying to understand the core of the universe, to examine everything in a way that we will have infinite knowledge and pluck at the strings of reality so that we can control it. How we, as a species, crave domination. This subgenre makes me take a step back, realize there are things we should not meddle in, and sometimes we should accept things as they are… lest we see what lies in the mountains of madness.

Paranormal fiction gives me hope. Strange, isn’t it? The idea of ghosts or demons haunting us. Thinking that we could be tormented by an entity that lives beside us that we only need to give an ounce of attention to. So why does it fill me with faith? Because I feel so alone. Not only due to my schedule of being someone who is only active over the evening and night, but because I have a habit of isolating myself due to my intense fear of abandonment. The paranormal is unseen right next to us and, as much as I don’t believe in spirits, heaven, or hell, a part of me does hope that maybe those I have lost are still here.

That I am not sitting here alone at my computer. Perhaps a phantom stands with me, watching me in intrigue of this new technology they cannot understand. Maybe a specter paces the hallway, reliving a certain moment in their lives over and over again, not knowing that I am here… but they are present. Is there a fiend wrapped around my shoulders, damning me throughout the day by placing me in difficult situations and causing havoc around me? Well, they’re dealing with my annoying optimism and having to listen to me break down, too. If they felt joy about it, I’m sure they would be tired of it by now. We’re just nagging each other at this point. Yet, neither of us would be alone.

It’s about grief.

It’s about self-animosity.

It’s about trauma.

It’s about feeling understood.

I enjoyed the show Stranger Things, for example, because I could relate to the characters. I was a gifted child who was exploited by the authority around me, I never felt that I fit in, and I tried so hard to do so. I was smart, but in turn I was looked down upon and still told I was not by adults. I had special interests but never found friends who shared in those. I was afraid of being alone.

Enjoying horror does not mean there is anything “wrong” with you. It’s a platform for exploring deep emotions, expressing questions we are too afraid to ask, and finding comfort in a way you can understand in a safe place. (By safe, I mean your living room or bed.) I know horror can be dangerous, but it can also be a form of therapy. Writing in the genre allows you to work through uncomfortable emotions, to get your feelings out in a way that doesn’t avoid those emotions.

I do not speak for everyone, and this is about my person views and experiences. I would love to hear the views and stories of others.

I made the decision to finally delete Facebook. Now I just feel guilty for deleting it. Is this part of addiction?

"Remove shoulds from your vocabulary this year. Start your journey of self-love now." - Kelly Martin

Success doesn't stay in one place.

Some days it's nailing a presentation at work.

Other days it's not yelling at the barista for getting your order wrong.

Success isn't some grand finale. It's the little wins that make your day.

If you're still chasing that one moment where everything falls into place, let that go.

You're the only one who gets to define your success.

Word of the Year for 2025

Transformation.

[noun] 1. change in form, appearance, nature, or character.

(Originally I had chose a different word, but then I realize my goals did not align with that word... so I changed it! I can always change it again, if I need to!)

September of 2024 began my journey of self love, self development, self awareness, and self improvement. I sat down with a journal and a determination to be a better me. To be a me who is true to myself and accepts who I am.

There is so much I have to learn and to work on, so many goals I aim to reach, but I know it will be a process. Perhaps one that never ends. I accept that, because I truly want to be the real me I know I am at my core and I want to express myself to others in honesty and with transparency.

This word means more than just my own transformation. It will apply to how I approach challenges, how I think, how I react, how I live and ultimately the world around me. I will struggle, but I have my wonderful husband at my side and friends who will stick with me through the hard parts.

I look forward to leaving my cocoon and spreading my wings.

Stop living life as if you are on a timeline.

There is not set deadline for success and achievements.

It is okay to wander and take the scenic route.

Life is not a straight line.