Snk X Male Reader - Blog Posts
e m p t y / 15
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist
chapter fifteen
found
It was an unfortunate turn of events. Things didn’t mean nor were visualized to go like this, but hey, life was a box full of surprises— some pleasant, some bitter. Unluckily, [Name]’s future seemed bitter in every aspect, and that didn’t seem to change any time soon.
”Where the hell should I go...?” The lost boy spoke to himself, sitting on the grass. His foot hurt, his side hurt, his head hurt— walking was a small problem, but the pain was bearable. His jacket helped a lot to not receive any scratches nor cuts, but his face and hands said otherwise. Messy hair, blood pouring from his nose, bruises and nails bleeding... the poor boy was left a mess.
He didn’t know where to go exactly. Reiner was the one with the map, so he was the one calling the shots. [Name] had briefly seen the map, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.
Big mistake, you idiot.
”Well, at least I’m not dead,” he yawned, carefully rubbing his eye. He had stayed in total silence for many minutes to at least hear a voice, but the only sounds he heard were the birds signing and the squirrels talking to each other, “...I wonder what they are talking about...”
There was no voices he could follow— he was truly lost in the forest. A very, very dangerous situation to be in by yourself.
Well, it wasn't as if there was another way to lose that thing. Reiner could be slow, and getting a bite from it wasn't going to be pretty. [name] tried to imagine his friends were fine, since they ran another way, but his mind didn't help him but wonder about them.
Lying on the grass, the amnesiac stared at the sky with lazy eyes. His chest moved up and down slowly, feeling a bit dreamy.
He remembered those times with Eren, as they both sleep on the woods along with Armin and Mikasa. It was pretty weird— a sleepover on the woods. The principal activity was hearing Armin read his books, but specially his book about the outside. His energetic yet soft tone of voice made them wonder about the impossible; about what wasn’t seen by anyone here. Not even the soldiers who fought for humanity’s freedom.
Talks about where they wanted to go, what they wanted to do. Tangled wishes made by wondering children, all thanks for an old book nobody know who created— an unknown author that disappeared from the planet, leaving a wish behind for someone to fulfill.
The amnesiac boy was sure his answer was out there, where normal people couldn’t touch. Where people inside the box could not wonder; where people who refused to explore more than what was allowed choose to ignore the reason of such taboo.
[Name] was decided to explore that world.
But first, a nap didn’t sound that bad.
♛
You feel fear— someone is chasing you. Not just one person, but there's many sounds behind you. There's yelling; someone is barking orders. Multiple footsteps— soldiers.
In the dark streets lighten by lanterns, two people run down the street.
Your companion is terrified— why are you running? What's the danger? Why do you feel so scared? Where are you?
You were too slow. They caught up with the two of you. A shame.
You are cornered just like an animal. Perhaps we always were.
”We have finally found you— a ███...” the one in command spoke with a tired grin, satisfaction running all around his body as he saw every inch of terror on your faces, “you all have been hiding like those ███, aren’t you? A shame most of you die because of that ███...”
”P—Please, let us go! We didn’t do anything!” You tried to plead, but you know it's all for nothing. They are savages, after all.
”That’s true,” the man looked as of he was thinking, “but you are all the same. You share that dirty blood— sorry, nothing personal. Just following the King’s orders, you know?” a harsh chuckle left his mouth, mockingly looking at the two victims.
”Why are you doing this to us?! Please, I beg you, leave us alone! We’ll do anything!”
The soldier's aim falters, his expression showing a frown. ”...Anything?” He softly asked, tilting his head as he looked down at the couple. The ones being chased nodded erratically, a look of desperation and relief plastered on their faces. “...Then run.”
”...What?”
”Run away from me. I’m giving you the chance,”
A soldier's confusion makes him speak out loud. ”Sir?”
”Did I allow you to talk, soldier?” He glared at the poor soldier who only shut his mouth in return. The sergeant looked again at the poor horrified pair, “you heard me. You can run for your lives, but don’t look back because I will kill you.”
The leader stares with an unknown look, but you don't hesitate. Already running with your partner while holding hands, you hope to get out of there— were they don't exist. Where you can live freely. Where there are no dreams shattered. Where there are no children fighting battles they don’t own.
The two of you almost make it out of there; your partner grips your hand. Hopelessly staring ahead, you almost smile.
Just before the pair sighed in relief, two shots echoed trough the silence of that night.
Footsteps approaching— the unmistakable sound of military boots stepping on the dirty ground.
The sergeant in charge stared at the two bodies laying on the floor uncomfortably. One pair of eyes remained closed, while the other widened as it looked at it's partner. They didn’t know what just happen— or perhaps they didn’t even realize. Maybe that was a gift.
An expression of complete disgust appeared on his face, utterly repulsed by such view, “such a waste of ammo,” looking behind, he immediately barked orders, “soldier ███ and soldier ███! Get these things and throw them away. You,” he pointed another soldier, “will clean this shit.”
With a last look, the captain whispered. ”You should have looked back, filthy ███.”
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
“This ███.. are you sure he can have it?”
”Do you have another child around? This kid is the only one left— Keno’s child fell into illness, and we all know she’s not going to make it.”
”But... he’s going to be so alone...”
”We have no choice. All of us are going to ███ eventually. Hopefully he can find his way back...” the man sighs, “if he’s lucky, he can find us. But... I don’t have much hope.”
”Oh, my poor child... please, find your way home...” someone kiss your temples with gentleness, “I will pray for your safety.”
”Praying will solve nothing. What good have that brought us?”
。。。。。。。。。。
In front of you is the sea.
You are not alone— there’s a woman besides you, but the ocean waves are the single thing you can hear until she speaks in a gentle tone. You know that voice, but you don't know who belongs to.
”You know, little boy, there are many things you will discover trough your life. You have to live it fully until you can— people like us can’t live longer than what we like to.”
”Why?” You hear yourself asking— a younger voice of a little boy.
”Because we are the ███ . Easy as that.”
”But mom wasn’t like them...”
”And perhaps you could live longer. Who knows? What we need to know is that you will walk forward until the end, with your head high and with no remorse. You are strong— make your future and travel trough these waves. The world is much more than a simple caged island full of fools.”
She gazes at the sea, a grim expression shown on her face. “But a peaceful future is not what we can get. That boy... it has been said he would only bring misfortune. The elders said your only goal is to ███ him,” she frowns, “that’s something I don’t want you to be. Why do we have to be in that position..?”
”███? I don’t get it...”
”Well, it’s not as if we aren’t named the cursed, after all...” she sighs, “you will understand soon enough. Our only goal as the ███ bloodline.”
The woman sits on the sand, signaling you to do so. Obeying, you can’t help yourself to grab the sand and play with it. You only hear a chuckle coming from the woman, amused by the show.
”Pay attention, okay?” She says in a firm tone, showing him a small brown book, ”this book is important— don’t lose it. Inside there is everything I told you about, and much more. Be careful with it and handle it with care... drec femm pa dra mycd desa E fuimt cyo ed.”
。。。。。。。。。。
“Goodnight, ███.”
-
”███ is going to attack someday— that’s all we know. Hopefully, the others ███ can do something before that.”
”You are speaking as if you have faith in this kid. That’s dangerous— you won’t even be there when he wakes up.”
”Oh, ███! Stop the negativity! I believe in my ███. He’s strong— if something even happens, he will find his way trough.”
-
”I didn’t mean to make things go this way. Forgive me.”
-
Fa ymm yna kuhhy tea! Zicd palyica fa luimth'd cdub y cehkma eteud! Dra Nispmehk... ed fyc ehhajedypma.
-
”That stupid kid! Why did he had to exist?! If only he didn’t, everything would have been better! Shit!”
”How can you say that, ███?! He’s the key to all of our freedom!”
”Cut that shit! Can’t you see?! The Elders even said that! The world is going to suffer the rage of a ███! Just because he has The ███! Fucking shit! Your kid is not even standing a chance against that— it’s just useless. All of this,”
”He’s going to do the right thing. I know him— he’s my boy.”
”What even is the right thing, ███? This world is going to see the true devil once for all… just because they couldn’t do their job properly. For a nation, ███ is truly useless.”
-
”You are the connection. You will do the right thing and free us. You are the future. ███ counts on you.”
-
”Kill him— you have to.”
-
”Why did you have to join the Survey Corps? You will get killed!”
-
”I love you, ███. Please forgive me.”
-
”Did you know the sea is soooo big?! Even bigger than these walls!!”
-
”I know you have to kill me. But even if I love you, I won’t let you.”
-
”The sea. We’ll go together.”
-
”–ced. With this letter I hope we can unite for a new and greater future. Sincerely, ███ lineage.”
-
"We are the ███'s shield, as they are his sword."
-
"They are chasing us! Son of a bitch! After the hell they put us through we are disposed like this?!"
"Making us forget...? But we swear to protect... why do we have to disappear? Why is that our fault?"
"There's nothing else to do, then. Let's get out of here."
-
”I told you I wasn’t crying!!!”
-
”We are just a creation born from ignorance. Born from hunger for more power and control. Why are we even fighting for them?”
-
”We’ll find each other. Even when 10 years go by, I will always think of you.”
-
"I heard your whistle. You saved me, again."
-
"I promise you I'll protect you!"
"With that loud voice? I don't think so."
-
"I... I can't. I love you."
-
”Goodnight, ███. I’ll see you later.”
♛
…
…Well, sometimes naps didn’t do the trick.
The unlucky boy slowly opened his eyes, feeling even more tired than before. He forgot his dreams were mentally draining— even when he didn't remember much about them.
Frowning, [name] glares at the sky in irritation. He feels useless; unusable. Forgetting those feelings were closed inside his heart, whenever he was alone they surfaced to torment his thoughts. This wasn't what he wanted to feel. It wasn't nice, nor made him feel better. It was a never-ending misery he didn't want to take part of.
”...I’m thirsty,” sighing in defeat, [Name] sat down. He played with the grass, feeling sweaty. Taking off the jacket was an urgent need, but the stinging pain on his left arm stopped him. “...and full of pain,”
[Name] wasn’t good with directions, even less inside a forest with his aching body causing his mind to not work properly. But he believed his hearing would come in handy— if there was something at all around this forest. Unfortunately, he could already hear there was more raining coming.
Standing on his feet with an exasperated sigh, the lost boy began his exploration. Sucking up the pain and bruises, he only hoped to find someone or at least the way out. The sun was still up luckily, but it would soon hide because of the rain— the clouds were already grouping up. The fear of being alone with a monster roaming around already crawled on his mind. This was scary.
He felt useless. u̵̬͉͐̌̌̍̈́͆̓̌̐̀̆ś̵̳̯̯͕̯̟̦͖̬̠̪̦̲͔͇̔e̵̢̧͉͔͚̯͈̠͇͖͑̇̎l̷̪̣̘̘̪͇͔̥͎̩̆́̇̑̊̈́́̉͜e̴͖͗̍̽̿̕s̵͚̟̜̯̯͉̼̦͛͊̎͆̆͌̑̊͑̈̈́́͘͠s̵̨͎͎̜̗̉̐̇u̶̟̜̹͎̯͇͌̐̇̈́̐̎̿̌̕͜ŝ̶͓͍̠͖̞͍̰͚̩̜͆͐͑̈́̀e̶͖̹͎̦̭̦͕̰͎͚͍̓̇̈́̏͂͑̿͊̈͐̚͝ͅl̴̡̻̽e̴̛̪̙̙͓̽̈̏̅͝ͅs̶̞̲̣̘͐̊s̵͉̜̗͕͍̰̬̦̻̰͖̈́̎̐̽͆́̈́u̷̝̠̙̐̂͗̈́͌̒͘̚͜s̴̖̹̪̮͙̣̓̎͝͝ê̵̛̺̥̭̊̅͌͗̂͗̃͘͘͝l̶̫͇͎̍̍̊̑̃͊͛͘e̵̡̪̼̯̬̣̫̞̥̾̉̓͘ͅś̵͔̤̣̦̺̰̀̔̂̓̉̈̍͠͝ś̸̛̘̈̂̌̋̀̂͘͝ů̷̢̢̯͎͉̬̥̱͖̮̯͉̦̱̍̊̂͐̅̌͑̅̎̕̕͜͝͠s̶̢̢̙̲̰͍͇͎̙͓̲͈̑̃̆̽̑͆̔̄͐̈̎̌̚͜͠͠ȩ̴͇̤̼͍̯͈̤͉̬̣̿̈́̐l̵̢̡̛͓̜͈̦͈̭̎̍͂̂̉̑̏̕͘̕͠ͅȩ̵̢̖̳̠͓̼̠̮͚͍͔͇̰̋͆̃͆̏͐͜ṡ̷̛͔̺̑̓̋͘̚͝ṧ̵͓̪̮̱͕̭͖̲̺̈́̈́̽̾̐̚͘̚͠ͅu̵̧̢̻̔ͅs̸̫͈̘̺̺͖̫̭̜̭̟̖̿ę̵̞̱͚͚͈̱̟͖͔̣̻͋͌̽͛̓̈́̑̒ͅĺ̴͔̼̥̗̥͕̠̋̍̒͋̕͜e̶̡̟̝̪̰̥̤͖̪͚̼̤͐̃̍̒̆͒̋̑͘͝s̵̯̤̠̤̍̈̾͌̋͐̎͑̓͒̂̈́̀͠s̵̡̛̫͉̻̬̆́͐̏̄̾̈́̈͘͝͠ų̷̘͍͆̌͛͝͠s̵̡̡̻̟̺̙̹͓̲̦̦̰̮͇͒̈́̆̂̐̒̒̕̕͝͠͠ẻ̸͍̩̫̩͍̝͚̐̉̍̂̈́̉̓̃͋̀͊̀̈́͝l̶̢̛̥͈̤͓͖̤̩̤̞̟͌̈́̽͑̈́̆̏̓̑͐͊̓̕ͅę̷͔̬̭̮̾̋̔̅̋̋̄̀s̵̛̟͉̫͆̃̽̓̐͂͗̑̚s̷̹̱̞̳̫̖̲̓̓̒͒̒̆̐̇̋̚͜—
"Everything is going to be alright. I have always believed in you, so please be strong."
[name] didn't like loneliness. He loved his friends; their moments together is what made him, him. If not for the people around him— if not for Beatrice, he would have been a nobody. Someone who wasn't meant to exist-- a mere ghost with no purpose. But, even in his present, he sometimes felt like a ghost— as if he was someone faceless. Even if he remembered his name, he wasn't sure anymore about it— perhaps he confused his memories.
Perhaps they weren't his, anyway.
Perhaps he was nobody, really.
w̶̰̦͈͍͚͉͛͋͌̌͒̑̽̀͛h̴̡̜͚̩̼̙̺͕̮̼͓̹̩͍̄͋̈́͗̀̅̅̾͐̇̾̄͘͝o̵̡̡̰̻̲̞̤͍̣̙͔͎͚̙͋͂͌̾͘ ̴̤̱̓̓̎̓̂̒̄͐͋̾̏̈́̀̔̕a̴̢̡̝̞̗̰̞̓̉̂̇̿̊͊́͛̏̑ͅŗ̶͔̟͚͇̾̽̈̉̀̓̽̓e̶̛̦̊͒ ̷͚̻̭̠̳̻͕̝̎̀̏͜͜ͅy̸̧̧̨̭̥̰̝̼̺̠̺̳͚̥̽͐̓̌͛o̵͇̯͋̊̓͆͝ų̷̳̫̣͓̦͖̳̣̣͈̻̬͚̂̇̈́̒̍̆̇͌̐̄̉̄̅̑̚?̴̡̙͇͔̪̬̟̖̘͍̭͐̾̔̀͐͗̑̑̾̋͌̂͘͝
"Its okay to feel fear. I have been scared many times!"
"Stupid kid. Be careful!"
As he wondered inside wonderland, the footsteps behind him weren't noticed at first. In fact, a deep haunting growl was the major factor that took his attention.
"Uh...?"
He looked behind him, connecting stares with a red intense eye. [Name] was sure the thing was looking for him all this time— he was a fool for believing otherwise.
I should have know better.
”̶̛̣̫͚̱͚̦̬̜̍̆̾̏͗̂͂̅̍̎͐͑Y̴̛̙͚͙̾̍̉̽ȅ̴̢̟̯̭̫͖̪͔̺̞̝̭͍̬́̓͐͂͊̈́̔͑̃ͅş̵͕̫̯̖͇̭̘͎̻̪̘̍̑̿͂̄̇̊̿̚͝,̴̡̝̠̭̈́̔̐̐͂̇̈̌͂̒͌́̋̀͝͝ ̶̧̡̩͇̞̲̙͍̰̞̤̩͕͍͇͆͂͌͋̉͋́̓͝͝y̸̨̨̼̬̦̣͈̠̜̣͙̣͙̜̞̾ô̸̰̞͎̞̝̠̣͙͕̲͇̗͓̗͑̌̎̔͘ͅu̶̘͓͙̺̻̹͌͋̂͌̀͝ͅ ̷̡̝̘̪̝̦̥̤̓́͋̽̑̀͆̈́̊̐̕͝s̶̢͖͓̗̤̻̖͇̟̗͇͙̀̍̑͌̓̅́͐h̸̤̬̳̱̩̀̀̊͛̉͗̐̓̈̉̋̈́͝͠o̸̞̔̆̾ṷ̷̧̪̙͍̱͎͎̩̘̺̪̏͜͜l̷̢̪͆̄ď̸̢͚͖͇̲̮̕’̵̨̢͕͉͔̩̥̜̰̜̠̞̝͍̺̒̓̆̆͠v̶̢̯̻̱͔͎̹̙̙̓͛͛̈̍̆̅̏̎̓̽͋͜ͅé̷̙̯͍͚̈́̈́͘.̵̢̹̭̺̳̘̖̫̬͆͐́̏̓̾”̶͕̳̀
“I’m so fucked.”
“̶͉͍̩̥̮̈́̅̏̽́͒͜͠I̴̢̓́’̶̛͚̫̲͚̈̀͛̆̽̿̃̔ͅm̶̨̙̮̘̺̩̹͎͖̪͛̽͒̍̓̔̌́̈́͘ ̵̢̨͚̮̰͖͈̾̄͆̕͜ǹ̵̨̛̝̺̩͚̀̈́̂̌͛͊̏o̶̮̯̺͕̠̍̃̒̐̂̓̃͆̒̌ͅt̷̨̛͚̤͔͍̻͕̑͗͌͊ ̵̼͓̦̄͝ͅh̵̨͒̎ẻ̵̢̨͍̙̼̪͎̱̝̇̈́͝l̵͚̘̀̿͑͋͗̊̚p̷̧̮̎̄͘i̸͖̭̤̩̦͉̐̍̽̋̿̿ṋ̵̯̩̣̺̰́̀̉̓̇̀̀̓̽g̴̞͔͎͍͇̎͌̄̍̈́̓̃͠ ̷͉͕̦̊͜h̸͇̼͇͛͊i̶͓̹̞̾̾̏̐͊̒͋̂͛m̶̯͈̘̣̰̖̌ ̶̩̈́͐̃̈́͌ť̶͉h̷̡̖̱̬̩̫͛̂͂̈́͜͝i̵͍̭̫̾̚s̶̢̱̼̱̭͉̆ ̴̤͉͑͐͗̈̉͊̎̚t̷͍̥̻̗̳̲͕̝̦̽̌͒̍͑͝ḭ̸̛͊̔͗̿̓̿̈́m̴͙͇̮͕̣̹̠̅̋̏̇͋̚e̵̖͙͖̊̐̄̃,̸̧͉̭̼͉̖̳̻̲̓̍͘ ̴̛͚̊͠ͅẘ̷̧̝̭̦̯̞̬̇̈͗͑͠ơ̸̼̯̮̻̣͓̫̖͊̈́̃̏̕m̴̢̘̠̞̘̀a̸̢̟̝̝̰͔͇̞̹̓̅͜ñ̸͕͓͔͚̮ͅ.̴̙͈̬̰͚̗͈̺̇̋͜͜”̷̦̯͍͎̪̙̀̾͊
”̶͇̟̦̐̋̓̆̏͑Y̷̨̩̘̹͋ǫ̶̛̘̻̟͙͈̿͛́͒͋̈́̓̍̈́ǔ̸̮͖̱̖ ̷̭̦͙͚̥̘̎̾͒́͂͂̆̕͜ͅc̵̞̤̓̃̿͠ä̴͕́̑͆̓̾̿͗̕ṅ̵̘̪͙̍̍̌̏̉̉ ̷̯̮̖̥̮̣̲̰̆͒͜b̴̨̈ẽ̸̥͚̲̝̈́̄̐̌͑̊̌ ̵̞̄͗̐͒̕s̵̢̤̼̼̮̟̘̐̆̿̾̓̌ͅo̴͓͂͋ ̴̛̝̰̮͍̖̃̂̽͗̈́͌̇́͜ͅc̴̢̱̞̘̔͐͒͆͑̆̿͐̏r̸̛̫̗͇͈̺͇͎̩̗͒̀͘u̴̬̽͗͝e̸̡̩̯͇̩̜̍̑ĺ̴̛̼̦͔͚̲̗̱̣̥̌̇̋͋͘͝ ̷̨͚͎̾̅̓͘w̴͔͂͊̋̆̍̈́̇̅̐h̴̞̲̖̰̝͈̄͆̊̃̓͜͜͝e̴͍͓͓̞͑n̵̞͑ ̷̧͖͌͐̆̀̍́̓͂̂̾ͅy̵̼̥̜̓͒͐̀͊̚̚ơ̶̘͖͕͈̗̠̪͖̰͒̈̐̓͂̀͋̚͝u̵̧͎̪̳̯̖̟̭̪̓̈́̋̋ ̶̡͍̝̜͖͕̲͉̜͈͐w̸̱̱̹͋̉̉̋̆͛̌̏̑ą̶̧̗̜̱̼͇̮̳͍̏͠n̸͕̰̬̊̽ͅͅt̷̼̮̬̙͈̃̂̽͋̈́̔̄͐̚,̴̗̻̏ ̸͎̹͒̿̚̚█̵̢̝̱̣̝̜̣̰̟̈̓͜█̵̧̢̧̤͍̘̞̜̀̽̾́̉̍͆͘͠█̸̤̓.̴͙͈̠̹̼͓̽̀̓̃̀͐́͌͜͠ͅ”̶̮̻̹͕̮̮̈́͌̒
“̵̥̔̋͂͂̈͌̃̕̕̚͜Ḣ̸̦̣͆͗̽͠e̶͓̥̼̖̦̻̙̭̎̈͑͒̈́͝’̴͍͇̈́̋̍̓̾̌̒̕͘s̴̞͓̘̭̝̱̑̍̕͜ ̴̦̲̥̜͍̏́̈́̽̿͜ġ̷͔͕̭̦̩͙̮͎̫͌ͅo̷̬͕̼̾͒̾̇̍͆͌͊̇ͅi̷̛̛̹̔͐̏͗͆̽͛n̸̤̙̟͛̐̐͊̏g̵̣͈̳̩̹͒̉̂͊̕͝ ̸̧͕̖͔̬̊͗̀̽͋ṭ̴̛̛͕̮̮̳̗͊̈́͐̃̂̏̉o̶̻̫̐͒͋̀͂͒̏͌̇ ̶̝̥̭̗̫͙̓̈͝b̴̳͔̔̄̐̉̅̈́̕ë̴̡̥̰͓́̄͠ ̸̢͆̈́d̴͕͖͙͕͎̘̻̥͖̃͆̏ͅe̴̯̦̥̎͝a̷͈̗̠̩͙͕̿ͅl̶͖̤̦̣͔̥̖̖̻̍̑̃̆̐̚i̶̡̝̥̪̼̥̟̣͋n̶̘͉͓̻̥͋͑͗͋ģ̷̘̙͙̰̺̫̪͔̒͐́͌̾̆̑̀̈̚ͅ ̶̬̙͈̱̝̤̥͉͒̽̊́̎̀̅̕s̷̺̠̦̜̺͊̒̏͛̔̾͊̾̈́͝o̷̻̼͓͇̓̀̀͗̾͊̚͝m̷̡̦̟̬̭͕͚͒́̓͠ͅe̶̤͈̘̊̌͑̃͑͠t̶̢͖͉̤̩͓̻̒͐̎̋̉͜͝h̵̢͈̦͇̝̠̲̭̙̒̾͝i̵͓̜̖͓̔n̴̡̻͍̻͖̫̍̒̂͗ͅg̴̡̲͖̼̫̺͔̋̀͗́ͅ ̵̹͙͎̞̣̦̟̘͊͋̚̕b̵̡̨̬̰̦̆́̾̇̏̕͘͜i̵̛̲͚̋̅̔̀̋̆͘g̸̢̧̛̖̤̗̻͈̋́͗̒̇̅͋̎͝g̴̠̟̗͉̙̣̝̹͍̅̈́̀̄e̷̛̫̙͙̗͕͓̺̓̔͜r̸͈̮̤̻̫̠̋͗̍͗̕ ̶̬̓͋̽̽͋͊͗͠b̴̨̢̪̻̘̻̱̖̲̅́͛̊̂̏̾͜͝ý̸̰͓͇̇̋ ̵̞͋͘͝h̶̦̲̦͍̬̮͈͖̓͐̌͆̕ͅi̵̢̛͚͚̟̩̦̻̱̫̬̅̐̾̀̐͑̂̏m̴̨̤̙̘̮̃̽s̷̤̺͎͇͓̮̜̍̽̀ę̶͚̜͙̗̥̋͑̽̆̐̑̏ͅl̸̢̻͔͍̯͈̯̄́̐̋̅̓̓̇͘f̷̪͓̭̤̣̯͙̞͍̀̈́ ̷̨͙̺̗̜͓̫͆́̎͂͋̈́̅̑̚o̸̬̊̉͋́́̀͊̕̚͝n̴̛͓̜̒̏̎̔́̈́̕ͅe̷͉͚̭̐̔͌̈̐̅̃̒̉͘͜ ̸̢̘̹̭͊̓̑̈́̀͝d̶̙̼̺͔̲̜͚̣͂͗́̐̆͊͝a̶͉̭̪͑̄̃̍̅͂̇͆̓͝ẙ̸̱̍.̷̳͍̔̂ ̸̳͔̼͎̐͑͝Ũ̷̠̜̘͙͎͝ņ̵͉̻͇͖̜̝͔̺͗̅̊d̷͓̹̭̳̓͠e̶̡̘̯̤̫̔̋r̷̨̡͓̰̰͍̓̿́̌͜s̶̡̻̪͖̫̥̥͆̄́̐̅̌̈́͘͠͠ͅt̴̬̦̪̞̥̮͛͋͒̐͋͑̾̈͑͘a̶̞̫̞̤͒̈́͛n̶̠̹̜̠͉̰̳̻̝̑̓͋̄͌̉͝d̵̢̜̯̣̩̦̪̮̞̒̈́̽̂̿ͅ ̴̘̙͕̮̪̖͌̐̋̇̓͗̿̅̈́̍ḩ̴̢̲̤͂̅̐͜ͅi̵͉͕͈̘̋͆m̴̛̻̤̗̰̻̪̉̇̕͜͜.̸̤̙͉͕͕͎͖̭̦͆͐́͠”̴̯̀͊́̓̅̂́͝ͅ
”̷̧̝͇̘͖̲͔̙̭͗̃͊…̵̧̼͋̈́̉̆͋͠͠Ḻ̶̨̹̟̏e̸̡̡͉͉̝̻̼͎̅̑̇̒̈̋̂͐͌͘n̸͈̗̻͍͍̉̿̄́̾͂̑̏͠d̷̨̛̫̯̪͚̰̤̠͓͛̔ḯ̷̺n̷̛̲̼̄̋͗͗͠͝͠ĝ̶̨̊̀̉̈̑͛ ̷̦̞͕͉͈̋̈́͜͠a̴̭͗̽̾̉ ̸̖̪̠͉͕̜͉̍̋̒́͒̆h̶̛̖͓̅̃̍̄̊͗͝ä̶̢̬̜̼̤̜́̊̊͂ņ̴̡̡̨̼̤̮͚̻͊͛̀d̵̡͓̮̘̝̂͠ ̷̧͎̙̣̫̪̱̭̖͑̾̀̓̕͝ͅī̷̳͉̹̌̅̑͝ş̸̛͍̝̣͆͂̌ ̴͉̫̫͎̅͑̑̿̊̒͜n̷̞͑ơ̴̙̮͌̀̇͂͆̆̈́͝͝ť̶̘͖͇͉͉͌͆̀̿̍́̐̋̕ ̶̙͇̜̌̈́̊̐͊̈́́͗͝ẁ̵̨͙̭͈̯͙̲̳̖r̴͖͓̎̋̎̾̕͠͝͝ŏ̷̪̬͒͛̏̈́͂͂̏͆͘n̶̰͚͗̒̏g̶̡̫͈͔̮̮͚̫̘̗̎́̏̄̏͋̊̚.̸̡̱̭̘̪̳͔̻̔̾̆̔̇͒̈͊̕̚͜”̵̢̺̦̫͙̹̞̲̃͂͊̋̃͑́͋̐̕
”̵̧͚̩̙͎̹͓̺̻͇̍̉̓̆͐͝N̷̨̲̦̝̖̭̻͔͔͂́̏ͅę̷̘̦̻̙̟̱̊̌̆̅̓̾͐̓̔i̶̛̫̫̿͊̀͂̀̈́͛͐͝t̵̛̺͖̹̓̈́͋̅͛̽͒̚͝h̶͉͚̼̉̇̔͊̈́̈́̾̒͜͝ͅe̷̝͓̪̬͈̙̽̐͛r̷̡͖͉̝̯͉͚̺͗̀̊̑̌̈́̈̾́͆ ̴͔̝̲̰̟͍̭̭̤̓̎͊ĭ̷͖̱̬͇̪̓̈́̒̎ͅs̸͎̀̆͗̉̓̈́͝ ̸̫͊͊̍̊̾̂͘͘͝ḽ̷̨̢̨͕͔̯̘̥̰̎͂̓͌̽͘͠e̵̮̒t̸̻͈̝̯̤͇̻̣̉́̒͂̉t̷̹͆͜ͅḯ̷̧̱̘̼͔͚̝̆̈͝͠n̶̢̢̰͖͚̞̭̼̝̩̍ģ̷͎̤̰͔̜̹͗́͌͂͆̂̍ ̸̨͖̠̎̆͛̽̎̄̾̔h̴̨̛̠̙͎͎̱̤̬͉͂̓͑͐̍̒͑́͝į̵̨̧̭̲̥̙͚̰̀̉m̶͚̈͛̈́̾̽͂͐̔͘͘ ̷̢̮̰̹̳͙̤̺̑̊͂̅͌̚g̷̤̦̀͛̎͆͝r̵̦̃͒̽̍͘ǫ̴̢̤̤͉͕̦̲͕̎̔̈́̐̅́̌̒̋͋͜w̵̭̘̬̲̜̗̉̇̆͗̐͒ͅ ̷͙̂͒͌̈́̐̋͐͂͒̈́ų̸̲̊p̸̤̠̞̹̣̺̮͈̐͌̄̑͂̾̍̆̎.̶̯́̾͐͜͝”̶̦͎̗͉͖̌̏̑̾͆̀̌̕͠
Just as the beast sprinted [Name] did the same. He knew there was no way to go— the thing doesn’t seem to get tired easily, and [Name] was more than tired. There was no other choice but to fight— but he couldn’t see how. Running was the only way to gain some time for whatever he could do next. But his mind, filled with terror didn't let him think— he was scared. Scared of not see anyone of his beloved ones again; to not enjoy his usual life with the others. To not see Beatrice again— to not laugh, cry, dream.
He abruptly stop right into a tree and looked behind just to see the beast charging directly at him. [Name] tried to regulate his shaky breathing as his tensed body prepared to move at the exact moment he ordered— and just as the animal was inches to bite him, [Name] shut down his own pain and jerked away just in time for the beast to hit it’s head on the wood, a loud bump echoing the forest. The boy didn’t waste time and ran again, sparing a quick glance behind him to see the animal was grunting and didn’t intend to move.
”̸̭̆̉̄̽̀͜͠͝À̵̖̳̼̙̿̔̍̇̇͛ṱ̴̟̔̽̇͌̐͝ ̵̙̳͊͊̎̄̇̀͌ļ̴͖̥̥̈͆̉̀̈́͝͝ͅȩ̸͙͎͌͘ą̸̨͉̼̳̭͖̩͓̗͒̈́̾̔s̶̝͔̩̟̺̙͇͕͊̉̈͂̋̈́͘ͅt̶̡̯̦̪̫͒͗̆̀̐̓͗͘͠ ̷̩͙̃͋h̶͍̩̩̝̺́̎̓̓̆̈́͝ē̶̘̯͈͉̪͚͓̞̆͑̍͑̓̀́͒͂͜ ̶̖͕̬̤̬͆͌̽͂̀͑̋́̚h̵̢̗̤̩̜̲̼̞͚̎͐̀̚͝ͅã̴͖͚̻͎̰̇̂͊͐s̵̱̳̝̪͕̝̖̎̀͜ ̶̧̡̖͈̞̗̣̼͇̀̾̀͋̑̎̒s̸̛͎̫̮͉̺̖̺̣̀̂̔̏́o̴̧̼̝̭̘͓̭̤̤̊̈́̓̀̆̋̇̕̕̚ͅm̶̧̟̺̱͉̝͍̼̱̂̂̕ê̶̡̡͓̜̼ ̵̧̤͔̦̠̠͆̋͛̋̈́̔̈́͘͠b̵̢͈̫̯̫̀͒̚ȑ̶̠̇̈͑͐͑̓a̶̢̛̻͈͆̒́̎̽i̵͈̻̘͋̈̂̐̽͋͛́ņ̴̥̘̬̭̩̳̎̕s̵̛̲͈͌̓̅ ̶̨̨̛̹͈̟͖͈̯̜̩̈́͊̐̀̐́̋͆̕l̴̛̤̼̘̺̖̗̝̫̹̯̏́͒͌̕͝͠e̶̫͈̥̯̟̋͗́͗f̷͍̯͉͓̠͗̓̈́͌͂̃͝t̶̡̬͍͙͗.̸̟̈́̎͂̈̐̐̀”̸̛̛̜̬̟͕͔̦̪̫͛͒͋̒̈̿͜ͅ
”̸̗͙͇́̂̾̆̆D̵̩̘̍́̎̐͝o̶̯̤͙͉͍̦̪̩̤̥̎͋̓̿̔̑̕ņ̸̨̞̞́͆͑̄͗́̎͊͑̇͜’̸̣͔͍̪̇͆̌̈́̆̀͂̕t̶̳̅̀̈́́̓͂ ̴̜͍̘̏̀̈̓̀͋̎ḇ̷̟̣͍̪͂ĕ̸̟͓̦̩̆̚ ̷̩̈́͛̋͋͒̏͝r̶̞͕̤̂͑̀̽̋̈́͆͌̓̓ú̶͎͓̜͛̉̄͌͒͠ḋ̴̟̜̟͇̳̙̉̇ȩ̷͉̙̳̳͖̖͆̓̀͐̕͝͠!̸̨̛͚͕͚̋͑̋͊͌̔̓͌̄”̶̧̼̹̪̖̱̭͎̟̊͋̀͘͘͝
[Name] tried to get away as much as he could— hoping he could find a weapon to defend himself, yet his erratic state did not let him focus on anything. Whatever he was doing or planning was done when death was breathing on his neck.
“̷̨̪̣̤̭̱͚̋̐̈́̏͗̕̕̕T̸̜̲̘̬̜̽͐h̵̜̯̯̩͍̄̈́̒͆͌̆͌ỉ̵̞̼̳̥̱̤̫͖̊̂̓͝ͅs̶̢͎͚̞͉͕̳̩̭̬̈́̌̄̆̅̒̋̄ ̸̜̆̈́̀̅̅̂̌͌̚k̷̺̱̪͌̀̇͛͝͝ị̴͇̬̦͗̾̂͂̅̾͑̈͝d̵͍̩͇̍́̿̓̆̉̈͘̕͝…̸̛̰͙̲̘̞̒̇͐̀͛͌ ̸̛̯̗̗͍̞͇̦̈́́͊̈́̉͛̊̇͜͜ą̵̨͆̊̑̄͗r̸͍̰̞̼̼̟̳̆̃̏̔̑̾̊͘͠ę̵̨͍̱̗̮̫͙̲̿̋̒n̵͕̗̯̻̦͓̒̌̉͒̍̎’̴͉̯̣̝̪̞̥͚̫̈́̀͛̈́̽͛̽̂̈t̴̡̩̟̹̼̱̉͒́͑̅́̕ ̷̡̩̣̕w̸͚̪͛̍̉̑͒̽́ͅe̷̛̪̳̬̲̳̱̬̒͒̀͗͆́̃͠͠ ̶̢̟̮̲̲̥͕̠̒̿̌t̷͓̓͛͛̔͝r̷̡͈̹̙͑͛̄̔̕a̷̢̗̼̫̼͇͛̈̐͌̐̉͐ͅỉ̶̧̺͈̭͍̣̦̳̙̘ņ̵̰̺̏͋̃̂͜i̴͙͊̎̈́n̷̢͔̭͍̥̗̮̊ͅg̴̢̤̮̽ ̴̢̠̼̯̈̐̍̈́͗̒̅̍̓̌ḩ̷̧̛̳͚̼͎̹̃̀̆͛̃̇i̵͔̱͎̊͒̃̽̈́̉̎͐̾̚m̵̛̩̲̘̻͗̊̈́̀͂̚̕͠ ̴̧̼̪̟̰͚͚̝̖̣͗̈́͒t̴̡̛̬̖͕͈͎̬̳̊̀͊̌͜ͅo̷̭̞̩͐̍͐̾̇̎̊̍͘͝ ̷̙̫̆͋́͋̽͂ọ̶͖͚͊v̴̨̰̝̦͈͓̣̜̈́̎̿̋͗͊̍̇̓̚ė̵̱̗̝̖̮̗̹̟̠͈̈̔͑͑̓r̵͉̦̘̼͉͎͇͔̒̇͑̓͑͘͘͘͝ĉ̸̢͇̀̀͛̿͝͝ò̷̧̬̖̖͕͕͉̜̞̲̈́̎̆m̷̧͔͓̩̫̰͇͕͇̀̈͜e̷̡̡̨̮̤̝̱̪̝̐́ ̷̨͓̮̯̼͔͂̂͐̐͆͘ͅṣ̸̛̜͚̰͍̻̣͆͒͋͛͊͆͜͠h̶͚͎̐ï̴̢̖͉̘̥̼͌̀̋̾̒̇͒t̷̳̜̝̰̦̍̏̈́͒͠͝ ̷̦̭̅̒̚l̴̛̘̜̇̇́̊̕ḯ̴̞̃͆̈́̑̈́͗͠k̷͈̮͔̮̗͚͙̤̺̈́̈͛̈́̓͒̍̓̌͠e̸̡̹̬̬͎͙͖̩̔̆̾͌́̒̔̏͛̚ ̸̙͉̆́̎̂̀̚t̴̮͗̎͒̋́̿̃͠͝ḥ̴̰͈̠͕̩́̉̋̽̽͌͂̐̾͜ͅi̵̡̖̇̅̃̃̀̓̚͝s̴̢̞̤͗?̴̨̊̒͗̏͒̈́̈́͛”̸̝͈̖͇̊
”̴͉̯̪͉̳̝̺̙́̂̐͛̒̌̓̆́̕ͅF̴̳̳͚̞̠͈̗̦͋̈̌͛̾͋̕o̷̙̙̘̮̠͚͎͔̊́͑̽̋̚͝͠͝r̷̫̝̭̱̹̮͒ ̸̫͈̝̙̈̈́t̴̨̛̖̯̩̠̥͆̇́̐̋͝ͅh̵͓͉͉͑̒i̵̟̓s̷̢̡͚̩̣̙͈̉͆̇̐̎͌̉͆̄ ̴̮̦́̑͋̿ȩ̸̬̱̩̳̖̯̼̬̜͊̿̈́͗x̶̛̞͕̜͕̠̺ͅa̸̢͓͖͔̯̰̪͍̫͒̀͐̀͛̿̃c̷̠̪̬̪̞̹̏̋̄̕t̶̢̲̜͍͈͚̟͇̎̐̅ ̴̡̨̠́́̐̃͆̃̏̾̉̓s̸̡̪͉̭͔̙̦͚̼̈̀̇̾͒i̸̜͇͈̳̻͆̂ͅţ̴̱̗̞̗̜̾̈́̽͌͘͘͝ụ̸̙̬̬̘̹̂̿͊̄͊͗̎͠͝ͅa̷̝̬̻̿̒͂͆͒̂̅̚̚͝t̵̛̘̓͗̽͌̿i̷͙̳̟̙̦̺̽͑͗̍͊̌͋ͅo̴̡̧̧̞̠͉̟̟̯̤͐̀̑̐̊n̴̤̫̟̤͚̑̊ͅ?̵̣̩̻͔̳̳̟̂̇͝ͅ ̸͎̖̲̟̜̫̍̿̇̂̒̐I̶̮̼̝̖̯̺͖̒͒̾̌́̋̌͑͜͝͠ ̵̼̔͌̍̈́͆̔́͒͠t̶̲̥͎̦̦͚̠͔͓̄̇̽̄̍̑̚̕͘͜h̶̡̩̥̩̭̹͌̒͋̊̓̔̕ì̵̼͔̜n̵͖̥͓̠̠͌k̶̨̼̗̹̈̉̇͑̌̅͛́̓ ̵̥̞̼̦̒̅͊̏̅͛̚w̵̘͈͇̼̘͈̲̟̎̑̾̆̕̚ę̶̣̘̾̔̏͝͝ ̶̣̩̣͓̕ḍ̷̫̬̦͇͆̅̿̈́͂̄̓̆̇i̴̧̛̔́d̶̨̛͈̬̆̓̈́̈́́̔̀̕̕n̷͉̯̥̤̲͗̂̓̋̈́͜'̶̛̝̥̞̖̞̦́̑͆̃͌͌͠ͅt̷̐̆͜͝.̶̛̼̮͍̋̆̉̿̎͑”̵̨̺̣̩̉͑̃̐̎̕͠
And just before he knew it those loud steps echoing the forest made his mind crazy again— hearing the thing coming from behind so quickly made him tremble. He was tired; his side hurt like hell and his foot felt as if it was going to snap right there. Yet the adrenaline was what made him unable to focus on anything but to live.
Yet, his inability to focus is what made him not notice a thick, curly tree root pecking out of the ground. Something so simple and harmless is what made him fell straight on his face, and to the hands of his executioner.
He tried to get up as quickly as he could, grabbing what he could desperately. Yet, the beast was already over him, drooling, growling and shaking in anger. With a thunderous cry, the thing jerked itself forward to bite, and before it could have gotten his neck or part of his face, [Name] raised his left arm to protect himself, allowing the creature to bite him there instead.
Sinking pointing teeth trough his flesh, touching what wasn't meant to be touched obliged [name] to let out a loud, shattering cry— the thing’s fangs had already scratched him on his stomach and legs, yet the only thing processing on [Name]’s mind was how his arm hurt that fucking much. He cried, he shouted, he whimpered, yet there was nothing else to do— was his arm going to be teared apart? What could he do to something this big? Tears flowed on his face dirtied with blood, his voice getting higher and higher.
”̴͇͗͌͐̅̀̏̈S̸͖͕̩̫̩͆̌͊̽̔͝t̷͕̜̟̮́̀̄ò̴̢͇͍̇̃̚p̴͇̗̭̂͐͐́́̓ ̵̡̛͇̮̮̓̓͝c̶̖͙̯̠̳͚͈̯̜̓̓͆r̵̢̞͚̜͖̞̐̿̍̿̅̊̀̓y̶͓̼͓̘̳̥̜͘͜͠į̶̢̡̜̩̫̹͚̜̰̓̊͛͌͝ņ̶̙͍̲̱͙̱̃̾̓͆̍͊̅g̴̢̙͖͓̜̏̔̓͛̌̈́͠!̴̻͖̳̟̓̍̀̽̍̽͗͝͠ ̵̺̞͈̗̮̱̺͇̗̅̀͐͆ͅF̷̛̖̜̳̻͔̃̈́̅́̆ͅi̴̥̺̠̯͔͔̻̤̮͓̚͠g̸̦̝̰̦̺͔̔̃̍͒͐̃͘h̸͇͋̒́̾̓̈ẗ̷̩͓̏͐͠!̸͔͓͓̔͗͜”̸̝͇̪̎̚͠
Yet, something clicked— his right hand. It had took something solid and sharp: a quick erratic look fell over his only hope: a rock that would have never been a weapon of choice, but there was no time to be picky. It had a sharp side, pointy enough to cause some harm against a person. But to a beast? No way— but he had to fight. There was no choice.
As the thing bite [Name]’s left arm with all it’s strength, the boy let out a harsh, loud cry as he gripped his hand on the shaped stone and with all his will, encrusted it on the beast’s head multiple times, letting out splashes of blood as he took it out and in. It went all over his face, and it was no longer possible to maintain his eyes open because of it— the beast tightened his grip on his arm, yet [Name] never loss his’ on it’s head. Disgusting sounds of something cracking filled his ears; the mix of pain and adrenaline stopped him to feel anything but anger. This time, he wasn't himself— he was just a vessel for rage at this moment.
Ì̴̠̤̻̒̇̓̇ ̵̧̯̲͓͕̳̖̻̼̀́̐̈́̊̋͘w̸̢̮̘̞̺̹͑͆̈́͒̎ï̵̭͈͍̰̪̖̑̋͊̌̿͛ͅͅl̴̢̖̬̦̫͈̣̙̂̒͒̉͜͝ļ̸̛͉̭̝̠̳̖͚̔̂̉͝͝͝ͅ ̴̞̜̼͑͌͠͝l̸̡̡̩̮̝̭̳̫͂͊͊͊̌̉͌e̵̢̮̝̯͑̈̃͊̇̑̓̊͜͠n̵͍͗͑̔̕d̴̡̛͓̜̺̦̯̗́̎͊̐̒̒ ̶̧̨̛̝̬̫̻̲̏͜͝a̶̠̺̲̭̽̒́̌̏̋̋̒ͅ ̷̪̼̱̫̠̖̄̑̈͜͜ḧ̵̖̻̦̭̟̭́̋͜a̷̭̯̖̜̺̪̜͇̓̔͋̀̈́̍̕̚n̶̻̣͔̜͈̬̂̀̐͑̕ḏ̴̻̜̙̝͔͚̳̏́̄͠.̸̡̢͙̰̙̟̺̟͇͛̿͆̓̑́̈́͂͋̕
It was then, that something inside [Name] clicked.
Deep inside he was scared, yet the will to see his friends again; to see Beatrice again, made him overcome that fear and replace it with rage.
He was going to fight— fight for himself, fight for his future. He wasn’t going to die all alone in this forest by the hands of a fucking ugly bear. That wasn’t his story— he promised himself he was going to see the outside; to seek the truth and find himself. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to let anything take his life away like this. He will see them again.
H̶͍͛è̷͔ ̵̼́w̶͔̐ḭ̴͛l̸̺̎l̷͙̈́ ̸̩̂s̶̺͗e̴͘ͅe̵̮͋ ̸̗͛M̶̭̅e̴̫̔ï̴͉ḳ̸̐ȩ̴̔ ̸̱̚ä̴̦́ğ̴̯a̸̢̎ĩ̵̞n̸̺̓.̵̮͛
A thunder resonated inside his head, and with a last thrust, the stone went all the way inside it’s head as the sound of it’s broken skull and last gruff cry resonated under the rain. Even after [Name] believed it was dead already, his teeth never loose the grip on his arm. It was the boy’s job to carefully let them out, but that didn’t stop the awful, horrendous pain he felt once the adrenaline disappeared. However he could, he pushed the thing aside and laid there, looking at the cloudy twilight.
Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes. The rain touched his face, not washing completely the dirty scarlet on his flesh. Even if it was cold, the amnesiac boy couldn't help but feel sleepy.
A few minutes of resting didn’t sound that bad right now…
A̴͕̹̿͒̒̚f̵̟̩͆́̐̽̓͜ţ̵̢̹̝̯̓͠ȩ̵̡̥͔̹͓̅̀̑r̵̨̬̦͈̩͂̾̐ ̵̪̈͒̋̀̚ą̵̤͎̆̐̑̽̔͝l̶̛͕̜͂͐ľ̴̗͈͚͉̬̅́̃̎ ̶̣̹̄͒̀ǒ̴̳̻̬͉̥̥f̷̩̟͙͍͑͜ ̸͓̔͊̎̋̓ṯ̵͇̊͜h̷͎͌̾̌̚̕ǎ̸̡͇̤̌̆̚t̸̡̢̳̼̜̼̋̆̐͗͘͝ ̷̧͉̼̺̀̊ÿ̴̢̩̭̺̞́͊̏ō̶͉̪̌̎́u̷͚͆̓͋́̑ ̸̹̓̽̎́̕͠a̶̖̓͛͠r̴͇̦̹͇̊̊̋̔̅ḛ̷͔͖̟̓̎̀͒͝ ̸̪̳͕̌̎̔̓ͅg̶̗̮͆͌̌̐̄ó̴̟̜̳̿͛̕͜ȋ̶̜̑̿͆̓͝n̷͚̊ġ̴̯̲̮̝̺̠́̾ ̵͉̂̐̈́͗͝ͅt̶̨̛̖̱̠̰̂̏̊͠o̵̟͕̣̔̈́̓̋̔ ̷̢̝̉̈́̄͋͘̚ͅs̴̙̖̣͈̆̇͗ĺ̷ͅe̸͓͚͂̇̑̑͐̓ȩ̸̯̒͌p̷̛͖̙̞̘̐̇̓?̴̪̮̮̍͊́̚͝!̸͙̼̐̇̏̿͜ͅ ̷̢̢̬̟͌͝ͅẂ̸͕̝̽͆̍o̵̢̺͉̪̟̣͋̋̓̄̂̑m̸̬͙̠̩̗̑͋͑̔͑͆a̸̜̰̺̿̑͊̚n̵̡͙̹͒!̵̞̂̓̇̕͜ ̴͙̮̂W̶̰̼̬̳͔̌̐a̸̛̝̳͖̾̔̓k̵̭͉͈͖̅͗̐͛ͅe̵̙̭̙͛ ̷̨̫̟͓̫̗͆h̷̺͚̆̈̈̅͠͝i̵͈͠m̵̝̫̌̒͛̂ ̵̢͈͍̝̎̅̒u̴̡̺̙̤̽́͛̈͜p̴̡̺͙̙̱̚!̵̛̥̦̯̰̹͔̈́̌̈́
He was going to fell into darkness, until he heard something.
A whistle.
Opening his eyes, [name] thought of his choices: sleep, hoping to be found? or to suck it up, get up and find whoever was calling for him? This wasn't the time to sleep around— not after such display.
Even if all of his body screamed in pain, the boy got up and with his last strength went to where the sound came from— he knew exactly where it was. Luckily, every time [name] felt he was dozing off or just collapse, the stranger whistled again. Just as he stepped closer, he could hear it— voices, two people walking around, talking about some idiot and another gentle voice saying he was going to be alright.
[name] knew exactly who they were.
With a last fight, [Name] stepped out of where he was and fell straight to the ground, sighing in relief as he heard the voices of his partners coming for him.
”Holy fucking shit!” The blond exclaimed as his eyes widened in surprise and relief, running where [Name] was, “you are alive— you crazy idiot! What were you thinking running off with that thing like that!? You almost killed me!” He tried to look at every injury the [hair color] haired had, and by just seeing how much blood covered his body turned his tone to one more terrified, “holy shit— holy shit! How are you even standing?!”
”R—Reiner! Calm down, he’s okay!” Bertolt tried to keep his friend with a cold head, but the tall boy felt scared of [name]'s well being. Any of it looked okay— the amnesiac boy looked like he went trough hell and back. He was covered in blood, he was shaking. Bertolt felt fear for him.
”I... handled... it,” [Name] spoke between breaths, tired of today, “I told you... we would find each other,” he smiled tirelessly, closing his eyes.
”H—Hey! Don’t close your eyes!”
But even if [Name] wanted to resist, the darkness caressed him with gentleness, inviting him to give in— which he gladly did. The last thing he recollected was both boys carrying him, speaking to him to not fall asleep.
”I told you he’s strong.”
”He barely made it, don’t act high mighty when he has more to do.”
”Reckless.”
“Oh, hush! He’s alive— that’s what matters.”
"Hmn. But for how long?"
♛
The nurse made it clear he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon— horrible news for his friends to hear. She had explained his injuries were worse than they thought— his arm was the bigger problem, to the point they thought it was unusable at first glance. Luckily, further inspection discarded such statement, only needing some stitches to all the injuries and a special treatment for his arm. His arms and stomach were the main point of the attack, with his leg being heavily bruised. Thankfully [name] was unconscious for all the process to not interrupt the process.
Unfortunately, there was no more to do until he woke up, an answer they didn’t have. The boy fell into a slumber where nobody could wake him up. Sometimes the nurse, who was in charge of him most of the time, said he would grunt or say some slurred words. This could be caused by the fever that appeared the next day of his arrival, complicating his health. The head doctor didn't sugarcoat his words and stated he could or could not wake up, if only he didn't succumb to the fever any more.
There where times when his friends would visit him, but the doctor had strictly stated only one person could everyday— the man was surprised as he always saw someone else everyday. The majority always asked for him to wake up and be together again, yet each one of them asked with different tones. Some were upset, others careless —as if they knew he would wake up— and sometimes, he heard a happy voice telling the boy they would wait for him.
Now that he recollected, those two were best friend but yet, they were much different— what was it? Jaeger and his friend... Arlert. The doctor had a memory of how miserable Jaeger looked, taking Knight's hand as if it was the last time he would see him. He could tell the boy needed to cry, but hold his ground, just saying that he 'didn't want to go through this again'. And there was cadet Arlert, who only time he looked upset was the first encounter he had with Knight. Then for his next visits he often wore a sweet smile, holding Knight's hand as he spoke about wondering lands they didn't know— about what they did for today, about a memory they once shared. He liked to bring books to read at loud, too.
And then, there was this other boy— the doctor heard his name once, when someone was calling for him outside: Jean. A look of anger sometimes overcome his features, voicing his irritation about what his friend had done. There was a time where the boy asked the doctor if he was going to die or not, perhaps in a heat moment where he didn't want to wonder any longer. The answer was that, for him, it was unlikely yet not impossible. Jean just grunted, returning to his crossing arms stance with his usual frown. There were times where Jean could only stare at him, not saying a word. But there were other times when he could walk all over the room, until the doctor had to tell him to sit down or leave.
Sometimes, a black haired girl came too. Wearing a sad expression, yet firm voice. She always asked if there was something she could help them with whatever they needed for [name]. "We'll wait for you anytime, [name]. Even if it takes some time," she tries to reassured to the sleeping boy, yet a sigh escapes her lips, "...I cannot say the same for Eren, tough. You are making him the kid he was when you fell sick," she takes his hand, rubbing with her thumb his palm, "you know he has no patience at all... [name], please don't go where we can't reach. I miss you." and just like many times before leaving, she kissed his hand with gentleness.
Eventually Shadis came once, checking on the boy and asking if there was going to be something permanent on his health or not. Even if the wounds looked bad, there wasn't any indication of a permanent consequence. Yet if he woke up any time soon, he had to wait for his wounds to heal completely and take out the stitches. The doctor had made it clear he could not participate in any training if he wasn't fully healed. Shadis knew this already, anyway. Both of them acknowledged the rigorous training the ODM could be, and opening wounds was a big no no. The taller man only wondered if [name] could keep up with their training, or if he would decide to quit after such experience. Only them could wonder.
_______
the past.
_______
”You know, your eyes are different.”
”You have said that before.”
”I know. But I’ve never seen something like them before— and then you don’t remember anything…”
”Your point?”
Armin hums, wondering.
“Maybe you are not even from here! Maybe you are from a place faaaar far away, don’t you think?”
“If I am from far away, how am I here?”
”Well! The books say humanity made the walls at one point, so that means there were people living freely before that!”
The amnesiac hums.
”And maybe, you were from an important family with distinguish features!” the small boy laughs warmly, imagining the past of his friend, “just like Valten’s story! don’t you think the same?”
Of course he remembers Valten— it was one of Armin’s books the two liked to read. It was about Valten, a boy with amnesia who a girl finds unconscious near a lake. Since the boy doesn’t recall any memories, the girl takes him back to her family, who runs a bar in town. His life develops from there, until an accident reveals his birthmark to the royals and finds out he was the lost prince from the royal family.
The moment Armin found out about the book he ran to Beatrice’s house to read it with his friend. From there, the blond always had bright ideas for [Name]’s past, absurd as they were. That was only what they had— wonders and speculations. Children’s wonder about the unknown— about what existed far away from this confinement.
”But why am I the only one with these eyes…?” [Name] spoke quietly, resting his chin on his knees as he hugged his legs.
”Hmn… maybe because you are special! Maybe you are the only one in your family that have them!”
“Mhm…” he sighs.
”But what we do know, is that our answers are outside these walls! Where the sea is!”
That, [Name] could agree with.
”It is said that the sea is much bigger than—!” And there goes his blond friend again, with excitement in his voice and reddened face as he spoke once more about the sea as if it was the first time he did it.
[name] couldn’t help a smile from forming, feeling excitement on his chest as he imagined what the sea looked like.
_____
the ocean.
_____
“As I was saying, child…” the woman stared expectantly, ordering with her tone to listen, “your future is already written. It is your choice to do it willingly, but unfortunately, if you refuse this task… it will be a hard life for you.”
The woman took some sand, just to slip it little by little. Staring, the boy found the sand more interesting than the so important topic at hand. A laughter came out from the woman before a sad, melancholic gaze appeared on her.
"Be responsible with your strength— there would be times when you are harsher, so be mindful. Be thoughtful; just throwing your rage at your enemies won't help you, child. That is something a couple of our descendants had trouble with in the past, so don't make the same mistake."
"How do you know about them?"
"Because at one point in your life, you will be able to see the past of some of our lineage. And, if there's no mishap, they and I, would help you trough your task."
”Why do I have to do it…?”
”Because there’s nobody else, love… your family— this lineage, is destined to… disappear. It is our curse, since our blood and bodies were used for the wrong purpose— corrupted by greed just for the sake of wanting more.
Something like us weren't meant to exist, and so, time is our biggest enemy. There will be times where you will suffer the throwbacks of our lineage. After all, we are a creation born from ignorance, and greed blinds the common sense.“
”…I don’t understand…”
She chuckles, “sometimes I forgot you are just a child…” looking at the sea in front of them, a sigh escapes her lips, “the ocean… is beautiful, isn’t it?”
The boy’s eyes sparkled with excitement, clearly enjoying the change of subject. “Yes! It is very big and blue!!!”
”Indeed it is,” she smiles, “close your eyes with me, child.”
“Can you hear it? The waves?”
”Yes!” He answered in a hushed tone, smiling.
”The birds… the wind…”
”Yeah.::”
”That’s a gift from the world to you,” she pauses, “if someday you feel like crying— if you cannot find your way, close your eyes and remember this gift. Remember these sounds, this scenery…
remember, that I will always love you.”
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the present.
____
The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, body almost numb and hurting. With a migraine incoming, the boy prepared for the worst feeling he was going to experience for the next days.
He let out a groan, alerting the companion on the chair.
Calling his name, [Name] recognized it was Jean. His worried, loud voice made him headache worse than ever, “s-shit! are you awake?!" the only answer he got was another grunt by [name], who tried to sit down yet he didn't have enough strength to move himself. He felt as if he was... underwater. "don't move! after what you have been trough, don't move an inch, you hear me?! after that shit you did—"
"I saw the ocean," [name] spoke bluntly, staring at the ceiling. It felt too real— a woman he knew but didn't recognize talking about...?
A grunt leaves Jean. "[name], you dream about everything and then—"
"No," [name] interrupted, "I have seen it; it was... vivid."
"...the attack took a toll on you, [name]. Stop talking nonsense,"
Shaking his head, [name] tries his best to sit down, trying to think about the dream. "I think... I think I lived near the ocean— or at least someone I knew lived on the shore..."
"Shore...? [name], you are not listening to me! You have slept for almost three weeks!"
"You are the one who doesn't listen!" [name] talked back, clearly annoyed, "I'm sure the ocean has something to do with me! I just do! Even if all of that was a dream, I..." he looked at his fists with a frown, feeling chaos inside his head, "I know what I saw was real. A woman talked to me on the shore... but I can't reach her words. Something about... me...?"
Jean sighed, annoyed yet understanding. His friend never remembered something about his past back in Trost, so hearing more nonsense than usual leaving his mouth was even more irritating knowing this idiot throw himself to danger like nothing. That was made him livid— he agreed mentally he would hear [name] out, but the lecture he prepared come first.
"Okay, your memories aside," Jean passed a hand trough his hair, "I just want to know WHY DID YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT!"
Grunting, [name] laid down harshly again. As he rolled his eyes, he tried to calm his migraine down with no success. "Reiner was in danger. What else could I have done?"
"Uhm, I don't know? Maybe LEAVE REINER WITH THE FUCKING BEAR? The dudes almost a Titan himself, [name]! He could have handled himself just fine! But you HAVE to always be in danger for nothing!"
"How could I left him with that? He's my friend! Would you have done that to Marco?"
"You have to care for yourself, [name]. I'm seriously saying this."
"Don't act selfish."
"Don't act dumbly. You know you have a problem with your migraines— what would have happen if Reiner didn't find you? Stop acting stupid!"
"But he found me! And now I'm here!" [name] shouted, "Why would I have left him like that!? He's my friend, just like you!"
"Of course fucking not! We are not the same!" he gritted his teeth, "don't even compare me with him!"
[name] glares at Jean, clearly upset. Yet the tone of his voice returns serene again. "Would you have left me there, then? Because I wouldn't have,"
Jean grunted, clearly in disadvantage. “Stop acting like a saint, shit,” covering his face with his hand, the boy’s tone changed into a defeated, tired one, "why are you this clueless? Why can't you see how this place is?" he felt sensible, "why are you so different?"
"…” [Name] stared at the ceiling, a blank but clear sadness overcoming his features, “wish I could know,”
As Jean retreated his body on the back of the chair, a sensible yet pity look fell over his dear friend. Back in Trost, those strange captivating eyes were lost. Jean sometimes imagined looking into a doll’s eyes— an abyss without a light. A dark corridor without exit. There were times he thought his friend was born unable to feel.
But his eyes changed. A harsh change made them sparkier— vivid. It was then, that his sadness, happiness, playful feelings were clearer to catch.
Jean knew all about it.
His friend was sad when waking up— times where fogging nightmares or nonexistent dreams plagued his mind, making him feel useless.
His friend was happy when eating Beatrice’s breakfast— it reminded him of happier memories he could make instead of trying to reach the past.
His friend was relaxed when sleeping where he wanted— specially inside the woods. A peaceful slumber where Jean wished those times never ended.
His friend was angry when fighting his bullies— Jean always could see that fire in his eyes. It could have been scary, but being [Name], it was never scary.
He only saw tears once. And not those painful tears when headaches came— no. Tears for someone else in his dream; for a person yet to met.
His friend was lost in the world, but at the same time, he wasn't.
Jean sighed, tirelessly blinking. “…a shore, you said?”
e m p t y / 10
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist
chapter ten — first day
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Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.
[Name] had matured— his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sun— it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.
He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.
Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.
"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?
Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.
"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"
Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"
The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyes— and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?
"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"
Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"
"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.
" e —— ???? xxxx free!"
A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little more— it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.
Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.
Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Wait— where did he have to go?
Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, —that somehow worked— he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at him— was he worried?
"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there will—"
Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"
[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!
Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happy— his friends were safe.
"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"
The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.
"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different tone— he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.
"I—I left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply back— just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.
"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all you—!"
"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"
"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!
"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubled— he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.
"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]— the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friend— such a sad look that didn't belong.
Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like this— but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "I— See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.
"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.
"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad look— he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?
"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."
"And grandpa too..."
[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. Jäger...?"
She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."
"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."
Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.
"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.
"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."
Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]’s head, he spoke, “already the first day and I already hate someone.”
”Eren is not that bad. He’s just... reckless.” They began to walk to the dormitory.
“In other words, a dumbass.” [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."
As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didn’t exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?
While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.
"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no malice— only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"
"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."
Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind him— his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.
Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"
Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."
"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harm— but why would Jean even care about that?
"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."
"Uhm— what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."
"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"
"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."
"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"
"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change already— dinner will be in some hours so..."
"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."
[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.
Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.
"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.
"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.
Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their training— as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.
Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...
Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"
Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.
From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.
"Idiot...!"
"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"
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"[Name], wake up. It's time."
The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.
"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?
"Nope, but he'll manage."
[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejection— strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.
Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassed— he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.
The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping on— the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.
When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?
"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.
"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."
"W-What?!"
"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him up— normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."
"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"
"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."
"Headaches...?"
The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.
"Eat before it gets cold— it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.
[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.
Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.
It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomit— after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.
Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.
Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"
The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"
[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.
Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightest— he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.
The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."
"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.
Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with him—and even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?
It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.
"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.
"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"
"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.
[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."
"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"
Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.
It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.
[Name] knew those eyes.
"Ah— you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."
"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.
"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."
"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.
"Bertholt! We—" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guy— [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"
"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"
"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."
They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.
The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.
He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.
"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsure— was that a compliment...?
"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.
"Uhm... Reiner..."
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Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.
The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.
"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.
The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up first— [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.
The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.
Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!
L̸͔͇̰̬̆͜ơ̵̝̰̓̋̎̓̋̾̇͘o̸͔͖̯̟͍̓͛̍̔̿͘͝͝͠k̷̨͎͖͎͍̞͗̊͑͆̃̐͗̏͛́s̸͙͆̿͒̾͐͝ ̵͍̄͋̈́̒͝ͅl̸̨̉͗̒̿̀̌̃̈́̍̐͘̚̚͝i̴͖̮̼͓̤̼̼̬͚̥̥͉͈̬͛̒͗̚͠k̵̡̢̮̺̠̊͂͠ͅͅe̵̡̖̲̼̺̝̘͔̖̖̞͙̽̉͒̍̂̓̈́̄̽̍͆͠͝͠ ̷̡̭̟̼̭̙̠̙̮̹̞̈͗̾̈́͝͠ẅ̵̛̛̲̲̬͎̘̭̜̲̬͔̞́̎̐̒̋͌̈́̀͛̇͑̄ͅͅę̴̛̝̯͇̼̹͛̚ ̸̛̗̏̽̆̀̋̀̎̽̐̐̚̕͘͠a̴̡͔͔̱͖̤̦̣̺̫̠͑̈́̀ͅŗ̸̲̝̣̹̻̺͖̲̠̿̾̈̂̓ͅe̵̲͙̭̺̥̝͔̹̣̮̤̱͇̽̂̇̔̑̂͑͑̇̏͛͝͝ ̸̲̫̎͂̄̏̀͐̋͐̽͑̕͘͝r̷͇̞̣͍̱̳̗̳̱̞̗̉́̎̋̈̓̔͊̍̒͑e̸͖̥̠̭̰̩͂̓̋̉̌̄̋̂̑̓̈́̽͘u̵̧̧͎̹̱̜̥̫͓͕̞̓́̀̐̀̀̀͑͘̚n̶̝̗̟͠i̴̛͓̯̘̜̻͉̔͛t̴̨̧̗̬̯͖̺̀̃͂̒̃͂̃̍́̚͠͠ê̸̦͍̜̮͐d̷̨̨̓ͅ.̸͚̯̼̎́̈́̃̍͊̃̋͘ͅ
shingeki no kyojin
reiner x male reader insert [soulmate/moder au, angst]
[one shot / 3860 words]
based on this prompt
summary: When your soulmate cries, your eyes began to water. Unexpectedly so; you have seen cases where one of your friends randomly cries when both of you are talking. It worries you at first, but rapidly they explain is 'their soulmate crying'.
notes: would u believe i had this since september in my messy folders damn, i really wanted to finish it tho also, reiner x male readers ARE NONEXISTENT. WHAT THE HELL. thats very bad and should be changed!
masterlist
When your soulmate cries, your eyes began to water. Unexpectedly so; you have seen cases where one of your friends randomly cries when both of you are talking. It worries you at first, but rapidly they explain is 'their soulmate crying'.
You have never felt your soulmate cry. Your eyes have never watered, no tears— not that you remember, at least. This made you thought that your soulmate is someone strong, someone that doesn't get played by their emotions that easily.
You admire them, even if you don't even know them.
You, on the other hand, have cried for every kind of thing— a sad movie, a fight between friends, stress... It makes you embarrassed, actually. You only hoped your soulmate wasn't irritated by your crying...
"Something on your mind?" You heard a deep voice approaching you, quickly recognizing the voice. You turn, seeing a tall blond— Reiner. He leaves two cups on the table, instantly recognizing the smell of chocolate. He sits across you.
You slightly smile, "just thinking about my soulmate, that's all."
He quirks an eyebrow, interested by the topic. "You said you have never cried because of them, right?"
"Nope. Not that I can remember..."
"Must be an 'Annie' case. You know, she only knew Bertolt was her soulmate when the big idiot saw her with Eren. Remember?"
You laugh by the memory— it certainly was funny now, but not back then. Poor Bertolt had feelings for Annie, and when he tried to finally confess to her thanks to Reiner and you, the three of you saw the blond girl walking with Eren, looking pretty happy. The view made Bertolt instantly cry in distress, and both of you could saw how tears came from Annie's eyes at the same moment.
Fortunately, Eren was only a friend to Annie. The whole thing had a happy ending, and every on and then the four of you —maybe just three— of you laugh by the memory. Bertolt only gets embarrassed, but if it wasn't for him, maybe he would never know who his soulmate was at that time.
"We were lucky. Bertolt saved his own ass by crying in that moment..." You take a sip from your cup, pleasantly tasting the hot chocolate. "Also, thank god Annie wasn't against the soulmate thing..."
"Who could say a big guy like him is a cry baby. I'm glad they got together, though. If not, Annie would have been suffering everyday with the tears."
You agree.
"Oh— what about your soulmate? Do they cry a lot?" You asked, tilting your head. You and Reiner really don't talk about your soulmates that much; the blond is secretive with those things, not that you mind.
"They do. But lately, they haven't..." He blinks, wondering, "I guess they are... sensitive? emotional? I've lost count on how many times I've been crying with them. I don't mind, though."
You nod. Neither Reiner nor you have met your soulmate... Makes you wonder until when you two could— if you ever do.
A small but pleasant chatter begins between the two of you. Reiner has been a good friend of yours since high school— he has always seen as the 'big bro': reliable and protective over his friends.
He, on the other hand —and by your ignorance—, sees you more than a close friend. Even if he hasn't been with you in your hard times, he always has cared for you. Bertolt and Annie always tell him to confess already; follow his feelings and tell you how he feels. However, seeing how thoughtful you are with your soulmate, how many times you doze out wondering about them, makes him back off from every time he wants to tell you.
Just like now, actually. The buff blond thought this would have been a good opportunity— just you two sitting on a table on the middle of a coffee shop, surrounded of voices quietly talking, minding their business.
He thought how cute you looked with that red scarf on— how adorable you seemed wrapping your hands on the cup, trying to warm your hands on the middle of this winter. Reiner desired to wrap his hands on yours, kiss your nose and make you warm.
But that couldn't be, because he surely wasn't your soulmate. But he didn't mind— he can be strong for you.
Or so he thought.
His thoughts got interrupted when he heard a cough coming from you. Reacting quickly, he gently patted your back, seeing as you didn't stop. The coughing eventually ceased after some couple of seconds, but that was enough to make him worried— he didn't see you choking on your chocolate or any type of problem.
"Wow there, that lasted long. Did you got sick?" Reiner asked, preoccupied.
You shifted uncomfortably on your seat. "I've been... feeling a little funny lately... But I think it's just a cold. Nothing to worry about." You answered, hiding your true health problems. Yes, you have been feeling weird lately— sometimes weak, and other times your coughing have lasted longer than this time, but you didn't think much of it.
The blond looked unsure, "I don't know... Have you went to a check up?"
"It's just a cold, Reiner. I'm sure I'm going to be fine soon— it's winter, after all. Colds aren't that weird to get during this season."
You tried to reason, but you could tell he wasn't buying it.
"Nope. You will get to a checkup, and I will accompany you."
"But Rei—"
"No buts, cutie. Let's go!"
You roll your eyes, a smile plastered on your face. Reiner takes your hand and guides you trough the coffee shop until you are outside, and you thank him internally. You felt a little weak— your legs didn't want to obey and if it wasn't for the strong but gentle grip on your arm, maybe you would have fallen.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
"[Name] [Last Name]?" A nurse calls your name. You stand up with the help of Reiner, as he sees you trip over by your dizziness.
"Wow there, feeling dizzy?" The blond asks as he helps you walk to the nurse. He doesn't say it— but he's becoming more preoccupied for you by the second.
"A little..." You nervously chuckle, feeling a little worried. Trying to look well, you stand correctly with the help of Reiner, who's arms are protectively holding you still.
The nurse, seeing as the blond takes good care of you, guides both of you to a room. She knocks before opening, receiving an answer to come in. "Doctor Jaeger, [Name] [Last Name] is here for the check up." She turns at you and gestures to come in, opening the door for you.
Entering the room, you two are met with a blond doctor wearing glasses. He is taking notes in his notebook, but stops when he sees you. "[Name] and Reiner. Surprising to see you here. What's the problem?"
"Uhm, well, I just cough a little and I felt weak sometimes, but I'm sure it's just a cold and—"
"Don't believe him, doc. [Name] coughs like crazy and he trips over with his own legs." Reiner immediately interrupted you, irritating you. The blonde doctor humns in understanding.
"Sit here, [Name]. Will do the check up on you." He helps you stand and sit on another higher place. You felt like a child, honestly. He tells you what to do; cough, move your arms, open your mouth... Him and Reiner talk a little while your session.
When he finishes, Reiner instantly asks, "And? How is he?"
Zeke chuckles. "If I didn't know you I would say you are the clingy boyfriend." The blond jokes, winking. Reiner grunts, blushing just a little. You laugh, but cough instantly after.
"Anyways, I will do more studies on you, [Name]. I don't see an exact anomaly on you, but you weakening doesn't say anything good." He stands up, "come with me, this shouldn't take long."
Zeke gestures Reiner to accompany him too. He guides you to a room with more instruments and medical objects, and he tells you to take off your clothes and wear the usual hospital gown while he gets everything ready.
"Don't you need help, babe? Come on— of course you do. Let me help." Reiner jokes, approaching you and placing both of his hands on your hips, trying to get your coat off.
Blushing by his flirty acts, you smack his hands and stick out your tongue, "I'm not a baby! So if you excuse me..." You wait for him to release you, but his arms wraps around you tightly, and he hides his face on the crook of your neck.
He's unnerving quiet, and that doesn't fail to worry you. It was weird sensing him so... nervous? weird? "Reiner...? Are you alright?" You try to make him talk, caressing his hands.
He grunts, still hiding his face. He doesn't say it out loud— but smelling your scent calms his nerves. "I'm worried."
You laugh, relieved, "you don't have to be! It would not be anything bad. It's just a check up!"
He doesn't answer, and stays in the same spot. Reiner wants to confess how nice is being like this— it felts perfect. His strong arms around you, like some type of protector. He wants to stay like this forever.
But unfortunately, that can't be.
"Yeah, well, sorry for interrupting your loving scene but I'm a busy man and this will be quick." The doctor jokingly interrupts the intimate moment, trying to keep a serious face.
"We—We are not together!" You hastily say in embarrassment, trying to pry off Reiner's hands off you.
"Yeah, aha. Strip already, boy." Zeke closes the curtain and takes Reiner by the collar and takes him out, while the buff blond grunts and whines like a child.
While you change, you can't stop thinking about Reiner being so close to you. Just remembering his breath against your neck made you shiver and blush. Feeling his strong arms around you made you feel safe.
"You done?"
Blinking, you quickly change into the hospital gown and open the curtain. You can see Reiner sitting down on a chair with a grumpy face— it looks like he's pouting! You chuckle by the scene, and his face quickly lightened by your –beautiful– laughter.
He really likes you a lot.
"Alright, just stand here and I'll do the job."
Dr. Jaeger begins with the studies while Reiner sits there with a frown. He feels worried— a cold could be noticed right away, but Zeke didn't see anything of the sort. What could it be, then?
Looks like the 'check-up' turned more aggravating.
Zeke sighs and turns to both of you, and speaks:
"Well, I need you to come next week while I check these things." He approaches you and gives you a paper, "here is the prescription— the medicine is specially for when you feel weak, but I will not give more until I make sure what this is."
"Thank you, doc." Reiner speaks while you change, and he takes the opportunity to ask lowly, "is it serious? will he get better soon?"
"I don't know that, Reiner. Until I analyze the studies I could have an answer." He squishes Reiner's shoulder, "try to not worry to much. Also, confess already."
Reiner chokes, "W—What are you talking about?"
Zeke rolled his eyes, "I don't even know how he hasn't noticed. Both of you are airheads."
But before Reiner can speak, they hear your voice. "Done! Thank you for looking for me, Zeke!" You speak as you open the curtain, already changed in your usual clothes.
"No worries." He slightly smiles, flipping some pages of his clipboard.
You smile at him, and return your attention to Reiner. Blinking at him, you notice his face is reddish. “Uh? Are you alright? Your face is red."
"Y–Yeah," he clears his throat, "let's go, I will drop you at your apartment."
Both of you say goodbye to Zeke and leave the place, not before getting the medicine Zeke prescripted you. The ride back your apartment was normal with Reiner doing most of the talking. You throw jokes here and there, laughing with Reiner by your silliness. He loves hearing your laugh— loves seeing your smile, the way your face blushes...
God, he is really losing his mind.
The ride ends by his disappointment. You get out of the car and before you leave, he speaks in a fake natural tone you can see trough.
“If anything happens, call me, alright?”
“But if someone breaks in shouldn’t I call the police?”
He snorts, “I can’t be serious with you at all, can I?” The answer he got was you sticking your tongue out, making him chuckle. You were so adorable. “Well then, see you tomorrow, dollface.”
The ride back home was him gripping the wheel tightly, his narrowed eyes focused on the road as he thought about his feelings and your health.
“Why dos he has to be so beautiful?! UGH!” He blushes in embarrassment at the thought of your beautiful and goofy smile.
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A week passed shortly after that. Unfortunately, you could feel coughing more and more, along with your weakening form. The medication had somehow calmed the coughing at first, but soon it grew worse. You were worried now, but you tried your best not to let Reiner know about your current health. He was already worried about you— you decided to bear it until the week was over to go to Zeke again.
And that’s how you are here, feeling the incredibly tense and heavy atmosphere in the room along with Zeke and Reiner. There was a silence in the beginning, until Zeke broke it with an unusual look on his eyes. You somehow knew something wasn’t right.
"We don't know what this is, [Name]. This... is different." He speaks with a frown on his face. It’s evident he’s tensed.
"But it isn't that dangerous, right?" You didn't like his tone at all— he looked tensed and uncomfortable. The air was heavier, you can see Reiner getting tensed too.
He stays in silence, like as if he's thinking about what to say— Reiner gets impatient, his foot is constantly tapping the floor, and his fingers move every two seconds. Why he’s taking so long to talk clearly? Reiner grew worried by the second as he thought of the possible answer that Zeke tried to say.
You, on the other hand, wait patiently. Maybe, just maybe, this is just something not that harmful? Perhaps your illness was advanced but curable, right? There was nothing to worry, right?
"What you have... is— is a terminal illness."
Cold; shivers trough your spine; that's what you feel. As if someone cold hugs your form from behind— your hands freeze, and your eyes widened. You don't know what to feel, so you don't show emotion at all. The truth drops like a bomb— you felt something stung your heart and your stomach churn.
Reiner is the one breaking down.
He instantly stands on his feet, his hands slamming on Zeke’s desk as he shouts with an horrified expression. "What?! No— this has to be a fucking mistake, Zeke. No, no, no!"
Zeke closes his eyes and sighs, "it isn't. We checked everything – something is happening to [Name], but we don't know what it is."
Reiner doesn’t want to believe that— he refuses. "There has to be something to beat that! There's— There's no way!"
You could see Reiner was frenetic— as he yelled at Zeke and denied the whole statement like a child, but you placed your hand in his arm and tried to calm him. He looks at you, and you notice how heartbroken he looks— but you guide him to sit again, and he obeys nonchalantly.
Looking at Zeke, —who is surprised by your calm demeanor— you quietly ask with dull eyes, "Is there a treatment?"
"We are looking into it."
"I see." You blink, "but what do I exactly have?"
"Your bones are getting weaker— as well as your respiratory system, explaining as to why you cough harshly and you feel your body weak everyday. As I said before, we don’t know what is causing it, but we will do everything we can to help you.”
You doze off after that. Zeke explains things you don’t want to hear— you just stare at him and nod unconsciously. You don’t hear Reiner talking with him, you just... exist. A heavy pain is felt on your chest and shoulders as you think of your future, if you had any. Were you really going to die?
“-understand, [Name]?” That’s Zeke’s voice speaking to you. Blinking, you notice Reiner and Zeke looking at you with their frowns, and you guess anything they were saying wasn’t good. Clenching your fist, you answer with a short and low yes.
After some checkups and medication, Zeke advises you to go home and rest. You had to come tomorrow, as maybe they will arrange everything for your stay at the hospital. You just stare blankly at him, nodding automatically.
The ride back home is tensed and horribly uncomfortable. Reiner doesn’t exactly know what to say or do as he sees how... blank you look. It has been the first time he has seen you this unresponsive— but knowing the current situation, it’s understandable. He feels something heavy and painful on his chest— he stops his urges to cry and keep it together. He doesn't need to break like that in front of you— he had to be strong, even if he feels something so painful.
He takes your hand and squeezes it, as his other hand is occupied with the wheel. Reiner doesn’t look at you, his eyes fixed on the road.
He can feel your hand squeezing back.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
You tell Reiner to come in— it's evident you don't want to be alone with these... bad news. You want to be with someone, you need someone. How much time do you have left? And not even knowing your soulmate...
Life really is unfair.
As these thoughts cloud your mind, you find yourself chuckling at first, but it grows as an uncontrollable laughter. You take your head with your hands, laughing as Reiner can only watch in pain. He had never seen you like this in his life— not even Annie nor Bertholt. For once, he didn't know what to do to calm you. Placing his hands on your shoulders, the blond tried his best to bring you comfort, to let you know he's there with you.
You break down finally— the laughter stops abruptly as you breath heavily. Your throat hurts, your hands shake, your throat feels itchy. Your whole body feels itchy, and without thinking about it you harshly scratch your throat and arms. If Reiner wasn't there with you to stop your breakdown, maybe you could have hurt yourself really badly. He gets in front of you and takes your hands with his', looking at you with painful eyes. Gritting your teeth, you try not to cry, but the inevitable comes. Hot tears fell from your eyes, and hiccups get out. Sobbing, you can't help but cry harder as you grip tightly Reiner's hands, falling on your knees.
Reiner's eyes began to water unconsciously, and many tears came out from his eyes— as if something is making him cry.
And that someone is you.
He doesn't know how to feel or what to think in this moment— he loves you, and knowing you are soulmates is even better. But how is this found out isn't joyful or happy— it hurts, but that doesn't let him stop loving you.
"[Name]," he speaks, looking at you with narrowed eyes. You can see he's crying too, "we are soulmates."
Immediately stopping crying, your eyes widen and you look at him in disbelief. Just as the tears stop from coming, his tears stop too. It's as if time has stopped in this very moment with that revelation— your breath is caught in your throat and your whole body flinches. You felt sadder, and you cry again with more force than before.
"I—I'm so sorry, Reiner!" You can only say between your sobbing, feeling much more horrible. You were happy that it was him, but you knew there was no happy ending with you. Was this your fault? Why do you exist in the first place?
He shakes his head, smiling sadly at you. Both of you cry, sharing your tears. "Sorry? Babe, you are the person I always wanted."
"I'm gonna die... I'm sorry your soulmate is me!" You can't bear this painful feeling on your chest— you hug him and hide your face on his chest, your body shaking. He welcomes you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. His hand caresses your back in comfort, making you feel tired. Less and less tears come from your eyes, and only some sobs are heard.
"Don't be sorry— we are together in this, alright? You are not alone. I'm with you until the end."
No one moves. The only sounds from that room are Reiner's voice comforting you and your sobs.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
A month passed, and you were currently hospitalized under Zeke's care. You knew he was doing whatever he could to help you, but deep down everyone knew there was no hope for your future. He couldn't tell you when was your death sentence, but he guessed it wouldn't take much longer than three months.
You were really gone. There was no doubt as you couldn't even stand without someone's help— you couldn't walk anymore.
Annie and Bertholt came every weekend to check on you. They were devastated by the horrible news Reiner had to bring them— just as the two of you, they had to believe it with their own eyes. Seeing you in the hospital bed with all of these machines connected in your body wasn't a nice image— it was something they will remember forever, an image that will burn on the back of their minds.
Reiner was always there. He came everyday to take care of you— you felt nothing but a burden to him. He knew how you really felt when your eyes met; it was clear. But every time you felt this burden and guilt, his ridiculous and cheesy behavior appeared: he kissed everywhere; your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your neck, your hands... it never ceased to amuse you and making you laugh. It was something so childish, but in reality, you didn't mind. Even if you weren't the person you were before, that didn't mean anything to him— you were always going to be the person he will always love.
"I love you." He says, taking your hand and pressing it against his cheek. You chuckle by his behavior, making him blush in embarrassment, but smiles too. "What? Are you laughing at my love confession?"
"You look like a child. Always looking for my affection, hmn? You big baby." The two of you laugh. Caressing his face, your gentle voice say, "I love you."
Reiner was the happiest man alive when he was with you— it was really obvious by the eyes of his two friends. He always talked about you every day as if you were a treasure that nobody could find. It was... bittersweet.
He always was there to wake you up and help you walk trough the hospital's garden. You loved their flowers, and enjoyed it even more when Reiner was with you.
But there was a day when you didn't wake up and see the flowers anymore.
He cried, but there wasn't no one with him to share his tears with.