Someone Kill Me - Blog Posts
So basically I was logged out of my old account on c.ai due to me getting a new phone. There was nothing worth saving, so I to start another using my backup email, and I get as far as the image below. A link is liteRALLY NEVER FUCKING SENT. I can’t tell if this is some weird glitch on my end or not. Anyone AT ALL know what to do??
"and the more that i am in pain, the more that you'll gain. and, to me, that seems like a pretty fair trade!" so me
im so fucking sick rn it's not even funny, I'm pretty sure there's at least five spirits hitting my head with bricks while the other five are stabbing my chest
Fuck my life. Nothing compares to the feeling of devastation that hit me when I woke up this morning. I can’t believe it. I won’t. The next four years are going to be fucking awful. How did this happen? I actually don’t know what I’m going to do now. I almost cried earlier. I couldn’t shower. I could barely eat. I can hardly process this. I just can’t. I can’t do this.
Yeah, I started playing Arcana for a few days by now...
AND MY FIRST INSTINCT WAS TO PICK THE “OPPSIES” BLOND!!!
It’s uncanny how similar Trump is acting like Hitler. People are now doing the Nazi salute. They’re drawing the symbol. The KKK was seen in Kentucky asking people to join them. ICE has been ripping families apart. Companies have pulled back Diversity Initiatives. We’re no longer part of WHO and there won’t be any communication from the CDC at least until February 1st. We’re being censored and the news can’t be trusted. Thousands of Americans didn’t know there were protests against Trump yesterday outside the U.S. Quotes from The Handmaid’s Tale and Anne Frank have been compared to what’s going on right now.
According to The Lemkin Institute for Genocide Studies and Prevention the U.S. has officially been given a red flag alert for Genocide.
I’m exhausted but I will never stop being angry.
It's 3:02 AM where I live. I haven't showered in around 2 months. I'm afraid of showering because it's horribly uncomfortable and It gives me gender dysphoria. I'm stuck in a constant cycle of loving things/ideas/people with my whole soul to hating them with my whole soul. I don't have a source of income. I don't know how to drive. I live with people that feel like strangers to me. There is only 2 people in this world I would say that I love. I have no friends. I don't talk to my biological father. Whenever I vent I feel like I'm burdening the ones I love with my problems. I can't be myself around anyone but my sibling. I feel tired all the time. I feel angry all the time. I can never get enough sleep. Even though I hate wearing a mask around other people I feel like I have to to convince them not to abandon me. I don't and have never understood who I am at any given moment. I've done terrible things. I have horrible intrusive thoughts that I block out with music. I'm hardly good at anything. I can barely recall anything from my childhood that wasn't painful or traumatic in some way.
I deeply crave death.
It's 3:30 now. Might add more.
Wait...
If someone can be described as "smooth"...
When are they "crunchy"?
