28th dec 2023
i was out walking to get stuff from the amazon lockers and thinking like "huh ive been so happy these past few days and ive been the calmest ever, i dont get random waves of soul destroying tiredness, i dont feel the urge to cry, ive been productive" and i tried to think what changed, the it hit me NO SCHOOL. ive had free and empty days to do whatever i see fit and no stress of doing homework while walking to lessons and its really solidified in my mind the idea that we as a species (assuming whoever reading this is human) really were not made for the grind. if i could spend my days studying what i please (i learned about ancient greek symbolism in hairstyles today, JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO BECAUSE HUMANS HAVE A INATE HUNGER FOR KNOWLEDGE) i would be so great and have the actual time of my life, like give me a packet of all the information i need to know by the end of the week and ill learn it and take tests and write essays and do it great because im not in a room full of randomers listening to another randomer talk for an hour then having to go and immeadately learn another topic and pay full and complete attention with NO BREAKS??? like i have break and lunch but am i a prisoner? do i only have outside exercise time and eating time? do humans really not need any breaks other than 35 minutes to eat????? i was not made for the grind and would excel at home education because the people in my lessons are absolute FUCKWADS yeah i said it. if i could do lessons alone i would be in ABSOLUTE BLISS at all time but noo i need socialization. well jokes on you me and the people in my head are having a wild time.
anyways