Sorry - Blog Posts
F*ck
I missed it.
happy (late) birthday!!!
00:00,,, it’s officially my birthday fuck yeah :D
guys elon musk is autistic of course!!!! thats why he did the nazi salute!! he was just stimming!!!!!! lil guy!
Ghost
It’s a dream I had. I was killed and transformed into a ghost, so nobody could interact with me—except this baby. This baby could see and touch me, so I was carrying him everywhere to make him communicate for me.
And when I talked, it was like they could hear something, somewhere, but they couldn’t see it was me right in front of them, no matter what I did.
It’s tiring to be a ghost.
POSTING THIS LIKE A DAY (or two) LATE I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS DRAFT 😭
I love it agahhahbsh
Idk how many of you read it so..spoilers below!
I loved sky’s reaction to the uh…ocucos..? (I’m awful at spelling ok-)
like seriously his reaction was my reaction too when i saw them, I was just “what. What the [ ] are THESE?! WHY DO THEY EXIST? HYLIA WHY DID YOU MAKE THESE??” And the fact that twi compared them too LOFTWINGS was so funny (but also gave me a terrible mental image I’ll have to deal with all day…and maybe the rest of the month-)
ANYWAY. It was great as always, and the fight scene was very well drawn, eating the art
LINKED UNIVERSE UPDATED AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME?!
TRAITORS!! /j
all jokes aside reading it now 😊
i always wondered is it just me or is his hair kinda Great Elector Friedrich Wilhelm the 1647 portrait im just curious
My super long headcanon on my flavor of Brandenburg below (heavy emphasis on no right or wrong on a very colorful german state with a complex history, this is just how I like to do it).
This is autistically long but I don't care, I am have a personal emergency and this has been keeping me occupied. This is for me but just sharing on my blog. Subject to change xoxoxoxo
Relationship to the Empire:
Begrudgingly obedient when he must be. He understands this is a dance between being bold and meek. Deeply aware that upward mobility is a game of social graces and military posturing.
Manipulates the system, can be very audacious with his demands and maneuvering.
Careful that the Empire and it's representative children always see him in an ideal light. Wants to seem the toothless dog, Gilbert does not understand this is intentional.
After repeated insults from the Emperor, he realizes good behavior brings no real reward and quickly abandons the effort.
Under the influence of his electors/Gilbert he learns to quickly discard any alliance/relationship/document/etc that no longer benefits him.
Eventually he only ever bends the knee to gain favor or stall his enemies.
His self-interest is a matter of survival, not choice. Does things with a grim necessity, including hurting his brother wife.
Power:
He knows power is perceived, not absolute so he obsesses over his image in public. Gilbert's behavior (especially all his attempts to undermine his authority) feels like an assault on all his efforts.
Does not believe power should be shared, wants to own it entirely.
Resists being equals with Gilbert due to a lack of trust, often asserting dominance with tyranny.
Selfish and overbearing in his need for control.
The more politically helpless or stressed he feels, the more pressure he puts on Gilbert.
At his worst: nitpicking, overly critical, and obsessed with perfection when it's unachievable for someone like him. Can be difficult for Gilbert to be around because this gets suffocating fast.
Appearance:
Tall with a leaner build, shows his muscles in the broadness of his shoulders. Think swimmer or ballet athlete type builds. About 17-20 years old in this era. Gilbert is about 15-18.
Breaks the mold with the other german brothers, has a ton of recessive/foriegn traits but shares some bone structure with Gilbert.
Finds it exhausting to dress in full court regalia, but he refuses to be seen without it. Without the hair, the makeup, the polished veneer, he feels plain and forgettable against his golden siblings.
Vain in an insecure way. Deeply invested in appearances. He fixates on how he looks but can’t see his own beauty. Years of jeering from his brothers have left him doubting it.
For war/home/downtime/small meetings: he braids his hair tightly in different styles. Otherwise a small army of servants curls his hair every morning, only for it to unravel into loose waves as the day goes on which infuriates him. Abusive to his staff and then sorry about it.
In public, he tries to impress with the finest clothing and jewelry. In private, he dresses more modestly. He prefers dark colors to look more mature and composed. Gilbert gets dressed in soft colors and youthful/childish styles. He is obsessive about Gilbert's appearance and grows angry if he refuses to conform to his expectations.
Public Face:
His mask is calm, collected, always pleasant, always charming. He is deliberate in his words and movements. He's soft spoken (in a forced way). Gilbert mocks the difference between his public voice and his rougher tones in private.
He does his best to mask his weaknesses and teaches Gilbert to carry himself with a smile, a pleasant and charming attitude, but Gilbert can't really ever soften himself like Dietrich can. Dietrich’s smile rarely reaches his eyes. His eyes are sad and anxious. His resting expressions are weary and drawn, while Gilbert’s are angry and impatient.
Socially competent, but not likable; Lacks an obvious sincerity and warmth, especially to those with more natural charm or confidence. HRE/Austria mistake this as submission, they like this customer service type engagement. His likability improves with time as he grows less guarded.
Loves beautiful and gentle things. Loves nature, animals. Big on music, philosophy, literature, tries to broaden Gilbert’s mind but he remains a boy of sciences,medicine math and politics. Often in conversation, he finds Gilbert boring and boorish and Gilbert finds him effeminate and preachy. Arts boy married to STEM boy. INSANE jealous when Gilbert is more open and receptive to these topics from others.
Psychological Strain:
He’s has some narc traits but without pathologizing him too much. He acts this way because of extreme strain, desperation, stress, and exhaustion.
He is spread thin and constantly tired, always in some level of pain. Thirty years of war have left damage that manifests as a torso/chest burn that weeps and bleeds.
He is always hiding fatigue and pain, which frays his nerves and temper. He can often be in a bad mood when he is really a gentler spirit underneath it all.
Has an irresponsible streak due to being overwhelmed. Loses things constantly, a big excessive spender due to financial trauma. Always late, always in a rush. Forgetful of appointments and promises. Improves with age and peace.
He’s resilient, but cracking under the extreme stress of being at the mercy of others. War is constant, and the pressure to be perfect wears him down. He is not very suited for the leadership role he’s forced himself into nor the dire circumstances of the era. Prone to depressive Howl like tantrums of despair. Catastrophizes, thinks everything Gilbert does independently is their doom.
He represses everything until he explodes, usually in private. Can be very verbally abusive with the truth, especially with Gilbert. We owe some curing of Gilbert's more stubborn evils due to him.
Self-Perception:
A bit of a Martyr Complex but honestly, valid.
Pragmatic survivor who still tries to lead with values in his opinion. Deeply strategic; Reads the room and reshapes himself as needed. Survival comes before pride. Believes in suffering indignity for the greater good.
Lacks self awareness but thinks he is extremely self aware. Gilbert is in his bitchy teenage years so he is constantly being rocked by the kid's one liners. Contemplates insults for hours in his room and maybe sheds a tear or two when his feelings are hurt before deciding that Gilbert is a nasty feral brat who is wrong and doesn't know anything at all.
Righteous, chosen due to his inherent goodness to ‘save’ Gilbert from himself. Deluded about his own worth/valor, cannot face his faults. Tries to ignore his shame as he crosses his own boundaries and eats shit politically.
Conflict and Lies:
Can fight and defend himself but avoids it when he can. Bold and risky with his military endeavors but personally if it's just him thinks it's a bigger shame to lose a fight than run from it.
Considers Gilbert VERY dangerous to engage with due to his capacity for violence but also feels the need to assert himself physically. Sometimes finds himself feeling frightened in confrontations with the child especially when the power balance isn't in his favor, doesn't like how it makes it feel.
Works on a policy of minimizing damage/losses until he realizes he has to defend himself.
Not the most skilled in battle though he has good training from Netherlands, he is competent, but not talented like Gilbert is. In a 1:1 fight, he will be more defensive/trying to end the conflict/restrain his opponent to reason/bargain with them. Only violent when he must be and then he does not hesitate, does not take pleasure in it. Gilbert's delight in it makes him very upset.
While he is at first careful with his words, he grows more and more vocal and openly critical about the Empire and its dogs as time goes by and he's dissatisfied with his growth.
He tends to lie often and lie well. Strategic with lying and often believable as he is so careful with it, hard to catch him in a lie; avoids confrontation with partial truths or omissions. Tries to keep Gilbert out of the loop, wants him to be innocent, in his mind to stunt his growth and influence, but it’s an impossible endeavor. The more you hide from Gilbert, the more insistent he is in his search.
My era specific Gilbert Headcanon:
Dietrich coveted the calm, stabilized and rehabilitated verison of his brother Tolys and Feliks worked so painstakingly to accomplish. Also deeply coveted his economic vibrancy, land mass, fertile land, food sources, and access to the sea.
Did not understand the grand coordinated effort it took to get Gilbert to this level and how early into recovery he was still. He thinks it's a miracle and overestimates his ability to keep the progress going.
Goes broke to get his brother, this financial desperation plus the rigors of war forces him to begin to strip away foundational privileges that Ducal Prussia has enjoyed under the Polish Crown to loads of protests/resistance/etc.
Personal relationship not much better, wants Gilbert to be in a subordinate position under him when he promised him equality under marriage. Not at all a smooth transition, leaves them both sick and struggling, fighting so bad HRE has to get involved at times as well.
Gilbert immediately rebels and regresses into worrisome and difficult behavior. Defiant and disobedient, he is hyperactive and hard to control. Unpredictable in his behavior, behaves erratically and violently. Extremely troubled, depressed and feeling caged. Worried about Dietrich's intentions for him, worried about being consumed.
Worried about the situation, feeling vulnerable and unprotected. Wants to be involved but Dietrich keeps him out, here is where he really matures his skills to sneak around, lock pick etc.
Dietrich tries to keep him in his lessons, gives him a busy/packed schedule but Gilbert refuses to comply. He has this vision of what he wants Gilbert to be: a doll like young N.Italy that can entertain guests with intelligent conversation and music and make him look so competent and better at raising him into manhood than filthy feliks but nope.
Dietrich's View of Gilbert:
Loves Gilbert like one would a pet or a child, struggles to respect his personhood. Deeply enmeshed in their dynamic and bonded by trauma.
Sees him as a child/subordinate to be guided and suppressed; resents his desire for independence, thinks it ungrateful and childish of him. Dietrich has immense abandonment issues from his childhood and this is just a big trigger for him. Does not understand Gilbert as well as he thinks he does, this improves with time.
Feels threatened/hurt/rejected by Gilbert’s growing belligerent and defiance. Does not want him to grow. Ideally wants him to stay a boy of 15, easy to physically over-power, easy to control. Immature in his cognition and emotion. Easy to manipulate.
When Gilbert is more trouble than he anticipated, he stops seeing him so much as an asset but as a liability. Cannot control him so escalates in his attempts to: it’s an explosive relationship, lots of fighting/hitting/whipping/etc.
He doesn’t want to beat Gilbert, but he doesn't know what else to do. Yet every punishment only makes Gilbert wilder, which spirals Dietrich deeper into despair, and feeds his self-loathing. Only stops when Gilbert begins to win more of the fights then everything becomes more psychological and emotionally abusive from Dietrich.
The physicality of the german bro family is extremely triggering for Gilbert and difficult for him to deal with, makes him more volatile and dangerous.
The Marriage:
Unwilling husband when he is told it is to be a marriage and not a conservatorship but ultimately settles as the benefits are sold to him. Dietrich sees the marriage as a sacred, stabilizing force: a political and emotional alliance meant to make them both stronger but with him as protector/dominant identity.
Goes out of his way to prevent the marriage from feeling legitimate out of fear of Gilbert feeling equal to him and growing in power/age. Will not consummate it, boots Gilbert out of the marriage bed/room. He refuses intimacy, both out of a desire for control and because he infantilizes Gilbert. Wants to keep him a child, malleable, easy to dominate and control. He is not attracted to Gilbert at all but is possessive of him. Evades kissing/touch but does not want him kissed or touched. Tolerates it more when Gilbert is older/more mature but is still standoffish. He is not faithful in marriage, prefers women and other transactional transient relationships, finds the burdens of relationships stressful, but big ol' ugly crush on Ned and France.
Gilbert is attracted to Dietrich at first : Tall dark drink of a young man with beautiful eyes and a beautiful body. Falls for the facade because he’s a dumb 15 year old. His desire for attention/affection/etc is quickly abused by Dietrich as a means of control before he realizes he is being led along.
Feeds Gilbert his own insecurities, constantly in his ear about how he is being perceived by others. Has a tendency to paint everything in a negative light to Gilbert to make him doubt himself, inherently jealous of his relationships with others.
Dietrich denies Gilbert affection/warmth/kindness when he is not listening to him. They ebb back and forth between Gilbert doing without and caving in and trying to be more cooperative because he's just a kid and he needs physical touch/affection he has never been without it before before giving up as he begins to understand he is being manipulated. Makes Gilbert hate the part of himself that yearns and needs even more than he did before.
Makes Gil more attention seeking/hyper-sexual/hedonistic in a toxic maladaptive way by accident by denying him affection. How Gilbert behaves as a Kingdom is a direct reaction to Dietrich’s deprivation.
Conflicted and confused in his role: feels a need to be an Authority but fails at establishing himself as one.
Takes Gilbert’s rebellion and later independence very personally, even when he knows it was inevitable. He equates obedience with love. If Gilbert won't behave, he believes he must not love nor respect him. Hurtful because he does not understand why he is so undeserving of it. He loves Gilbert and yet does not respect him as an equal. He wants loyalty, obedience, and peace but he’s miserable when he gets it through force.
Puts all the blame on Gilbert for their dynamic, will not accept any responsibility.
His responses to Gilbert are rooted in fear: fear that both of their houses are vulnerable, that their union will collapse, that it’ll mean ruin for both of them. Does not believe in Gilbert’s ability to be a stable identity, thinks he is fated for subjugation and erasure by others. Believes he is protecting, never admits to the harm he has done.
Later: Feels diminished, usurped; union meant to stabilize and empower but instead undermines him. Disillusions him, upset at his leaders. Throws a big messy depressive tantrum about it. Abandons Gilbert to all administrative tasks, rots in his bed and prepares for death that does not arrive.
Eventually they figure it out and have a strained but functional relationship but it's a very destructive one, Gilbert's main trauma is realizing how vulnerable he is to real life long hurt if he allows someone so intimately close to him.
I might start posting regular on tumblr again
This night we composed again,
This night was special,
The moon showed us what it can do,
Changed its shape to a body of a human,
But they glowed and shined,
They were so much more than a human.
They were the moon,
They were a being higher than us,
This time they sang the song,
We were all happy.
The moon taught us a dance they made,
Hundreds of years ago,
We watched as they swayed,
As they moved their hands,
The way their dress glimmered and followed their every step.
Ove noći smo opet skladali,
Ova noć je bila posebna,
Mjesec nam je pokazao što može,
Promijenio svoj oblik u tijelo čovjeka,
Ali oni su žarili i sjali,
Bili su puno više od čovjeka.
Bili su mjesec,
Oni su bili biće više od nas,
Ovaj put su pjevali pjesmu,
Svi smo bili sretni.
Mjesec nas je naučio ples koji su napravili,
Prije nekoliko stotina godina,
Gledali smo kako se njišu,
Dok su pomicali ruke,
Način na koji im je haljina svjetlucala i pratila svaki njihov korak.
ummmm_hello
Saturday.26.10.2024.
Subota 26.10.2024.
I made another one!
It is complete…! :’D I wanted to get these done in December but life happened. Regardless, I’m glad I got to finish at a decent time. Enjoy some lovely Pines Winter bonding :D
With the kamikou fes thing, I could see them pulling a Resonant Town where Toya is the focus for the event and the stuff with Mizuki and Ena happens kinda in the background, and that then leads into Mizuki5. So like i'm imagining Mafuyu5 = Kick it up a notch, Kamikou fes2 = resotown, and Mizuki5 = whip the wimp girl. So possibly something where you could skip reading the mixed event in the middle and still get the plot, but to REALLY get the plot you have to read the mixed event
Oh that’s true actually. Come to think of it Toya doesn’t know Mizuki’s secret yet, but it’s kind of an inevitability that he will find out with them being in the same class and all, like how An found out. And Toya’s much more honest and honestly is the type of person who would just take the information and just immediately accept it, like An in some ways even if they’re totally different. He’d be a very good support imo, and could probably give Mizuki some advice on opening up to Ena, like he did with An in wimp girl.
Honestly a kamikou fes event probably could work to bridge the gap. An and Rui already know Mizuki’s secret, Toya will find out eventually, and Akito might know through rumors (he mentions knowing about rumors going around in the original Kamikou fes). Maybe you could do something like Ena maybe hearing things from Mizuki’s classmates and then the other characters helping her out 🤔
I’m not like other girls. Sometimes, I’m a boy
If Cryptid Four is Enby, is Cryptid Shadow also Enby? Do all the colors identify as the same gender or do they identify differently? Apparently this is keeping me up at night
The colors are all their own people, and they do identify differently! Four, as we know them, is nonbinary. They use they/them pronouns. But the colors are different!
Red uses any/all (no gender, just vibes)
Blue uses he/she/they (gender fluid. They’ll tell you their preferred pronouns at any given time)
Vio uses he/they pronouns.
Green uses he/him.
Shadow uses he/him
7 years ago today, January 18th 2013, the final episode of Fringe was aired.
I still miss this show.
This shit made me laugh when I'm supposed to be studying
Happy belated father’s day Dadneto.
Have a dog
Beta dog under the cut
some very rough story planning comics I made a while ago
Context, on Instagram (@shadbellls, siganme JSAJSAJAS) I am happily married and with 3 children with @mary-cross or well
was I¿
am I¿
I don't know what happened, help… sketch of that very random situation
Mary, my love, when I explain everything we're going to laugh
Just let me fix things with my arranged marriage (university)
Honey, is that all you've got?/ Exam week
F for Abel
Yeah so turns out I like instagrams music feature. So I’m more active There. Here are the doodles I’ve made recently though!!! Also yes one of these involve @shadbells babies and or them, hope yall like it!!!
Talking with them always gives me so many ideas, (I need friends so I’m open to conversation) and I generally love doodling silly stuff, even if it won’t be as high quality.
Sometimes I think about the interactions Morrowseer and Stonemover had
My headcanon is that Morrowseer was the one who came up with the tunnel idea and was sort of like Stonemover’s “project overseer” (haha get it morrowSEER)
So um
I finished Adventure Time yesterday
I am not okay 👍
In celebration, a drawing of dark-skinned Marcy! Come at me all you want I love her
As promised, I’m posting an art piece of some sort for each new Oakie voter on this post:
Thank you @theoctopuscats for reblogging this!
This is a piece I did for an art class a few years ago using pastels, and I’m still really proud of it!
How am I suppose to sleep now
I just saw Episode 1 and I AM SCREASDFGHJKL
went to go check my archive because surely the amount of rkrn stuff I've drawn makes it the more common tag under this tumblr but surprisingly nothing will beat the quarantine induced neurosis that is all the splatoon manga fanart i drew like five years ago
Emo Gabriel Rorke😔😭💔🖤
"mom when i grow up i will become an officer and help people"
"forget me🖤"
(I don’t own this picture btw) DUDE IM ON MY PERIODS AGAIN TWO TIMES THIS MONTH WHATS GOING ON
"Fantasy"
There’s a world between the day and the night,
Where armies of darkness battle guardians of light,
Where weak and wounded, the smallest stand strong,
Alone and outnumbered, yet they still soldier on.
A world of ‘what-if’s and ‘what-might-have-been’s,
Where we rise and we fall, and get back up again.
It holds far-off futures, long-ago pasts,
And all of humanity in a looking-glass.
A world conceived in thought, and shaped with words,
Where our yearnings, where our dreams, catch fire and burn,
Where valor and honor hold their heads high,
And rallying, we turn the darkest of tides.
The dark that dwells here is loathsome and fierce,
But by the slightest of sparks is stricken and pierced,
One truth dealing death to thousands of lies,
Goodness will conquer, beauty will survive.
We hold this world close, deep within our hearts,
It’s too tender a dream to bear harsh remarks,
It’s our work of art, it’s our own story,
Our creation, our comfort, just a fantasy.
I've dabbled in poetry. I'm not very good, but I thought this was ok.
I have a theory about Will's tattoo
It's a sun and so I was thinking that maybe for every sibling he lost in the war is marked as a ray on the sun. so it's like a memorial and it's also on his pectoral close to his heart so he wants his sibling to be with him forever
I also think that he has a couple tattoo with Nico and a friendship tattoo with Lou Ellen and Cecil
Well, I just wanted some Roger Delgado on my dash. Thank you very much.
And actually, what is even wrong? Like, I thought his last name meant "thin" or something like that?
Полезное напоминание
T-T
so many people returning shit........
so i can finish the book shelf (meaning another pattern page done! 5 down, 7 to go!), and i can /probably/ finish azi’s coat now, but they where out of stock on the third colour.
guess i can try again on my way to work on thursday. until then, poor azi’s wings are just gonna have to stay unfinished for a bit now
i have now run out of a third colour for the cross stitch….
think the holiday shopping is over enough to attempt to go to the store once today has rolled around to a more reasonable hour?