Invisible - Blog Posts
Ghost
It’s a dream I had. I was killed and transformed into a ghost, so nobody could interact with me—except this baby. This baby could see and touch me, so I was carrying him everywhere to make him communicate for me.
And when I talked, it was like they could hear something, somewhere, but they couldn’t see it was me right in front of them, no matter what I did.
It’s tiring to be a ghost.
Are Cloaking Devices Coming? Metalens-Shaped Light May Lead The Way
“The biggest challenge facing a real-life cloak has been the incorporation of a large variety of wavelengths, as the cloak’s material must vary from point-to-point to bend (and then unbend) the light by the proper amount. Based on the materials discovered so far, we haven’t yet managed to penetrate the visible light portion of the spectrum with a cloak. This new advance in metalenses, however, seems to indicate that if you can do it for a single, narrow wavelength, you can apply this nanofin technology to extend the wavelength covered tremendously. This first application to achromatic lenses covered nearly the full visible-light spectrum (from 470 to 670 nm), and fusing this with advances in metamaterials would make visible-light cloaking devices a reality.”
What would it take to have a true cloaking device? You’d need some way to bend the light coming from all across the electromagnetic spectrum around your cloaked object, and have it propagate off in the same direction once it moved past you. To an outside observer, it would simply seem like the cloaked object wasn’t there, and they’d only view the world in front of and behind them. Even with the recent advances that have been made in metamaterials, we have not yet been able to realize this dream in three dimensions, covering the entire electromagnetic spectrum, and from all directions. But a new advance in metalens technology might get you the full electromagnetic spectrum after all, as they appear to have solved the problem of chromatic aberration with a light, small, and inexpensive solution. If we can combine these two technologies, metalenses and metamaterials, we just might realize the dream of a true invisibility cloak.
Whether you’re a Star Trek or Harry Potter fan, the ability to turn yourself invisible would be Earth-shattering. Come see how transformation optics might transform the world!
They called it “just a comment"
I called it
three weeks of anxiety, five skipped shifts, and a therapist
I couldn’t afford
Invisible Artist
I never really wanted to make this to be a blog-blog, like write anything other than describe my art and put hashtags to the pieces. Yet, here I am, midnight, nearly 1 am; and I just couldn't wait to write this out.
I am afraid. I am lost and afraid, yet this feeling drives me more. I don't feel like an artist. Maybe it is because I never was formally trained, my skill has always been self taught mostly with guidance from other artists and my father. Maybe the lack of formal training is why I never pursued a career with my art? I have always regretted that and nearing 40, who knows if that will ever happen. This thought causes dread, depression and anxiety. I don't know if I should continue to draw, I feel lost. I am afraid to pursue my art even as a freelance, I don't take judgement well or criticism. Yet I know if I do not, I wont grow or gain more skill. I digress.
I write this because I post my art on various social medias and get nowhere. I don't know if I am doing this correctly. Should I network more? It's ok to ask for help. I see my posts get very few clicks, likes, etc. and others seem to explode with popularity. I have tried fan art, OCs, progress art, revisit old drawings. I haven't tried the DTIYS stuff, but I want to because it looks fun.
To those that read this, to the artists who feel invisible because you don't get the traffic you deserve, comment below so we see you. I will follow. It's ok to feel invisible, we all have to start somewhere. Even if you are near 40 like myself. There are so many artists out there who have been rejected or never found their style, medium etc. until later in life.
Carmen Herrera Rose Hilton Mark Rothko Phyllida Barlow Wassily Kandinsky Betty Tompkins Claude Monet Vincent Van Gogh Johannes Vermeer El Greco Paul Cezanne Georges-Pierre Seurat Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec Edouard Manet Paul Gauguin Alfred Sisley
Don't give up and don't draw for the likes, the fame or the notoriety. Draw because you want to create. Create because it is worth doing. In a world of destruction, chaos, hate; we need beauty. Things that inspire, drive us, give us awe and make us feel. Keep drawing. I see you, because I am you.
I'm remembering shit I dont want to, and I'm feeling shit I dont want to.
I went back because "i missed them". What i really went back for was to see if it was the same without me. I just wanted to see if they were the same without me. Not surprisingly, they were better without me. It also made me realize i was also better without them. Its wierd how just one person can change things so much. I love them, and i know they love me, but we were never made for each other. It really sucks, but its unfortunately true.
I just keep thinking about that kiss... i keep thinkung about how much i want to just run up to him and kiss him. I just want to be with him, which only proves that im a psychopath. He played me before, hes not good for me. This isnt healthy. But, something that feels so good cant possibly be bad, right?
I think i might have cut too deep this time...
Why am i never enough for anyone?
In Biology we were talking about euthanasia and our thoughts on it. Literally everyone in my class was saying they couldnt imagine wanting to die. That they didnt even have the guts to even hurt themselves in any way. I kept getting flashbacks to last night, and all the fresh scars on my arms and legs and it made me die a little bit more inside, knowing how truly alone i was.
What the fuck are you supposed to do when everyones moving on without you? When everyone in your life doesnt want you?
I had a family, once. Then i fucked up and things were never the same.
- the funny thing is, i don't take it back. Im happier alone, and i think that scares me more...
Kissing you was the best and worst desision of my life.
This guy told me the other day, "i think im gonna be depressed today" as if you can choose it. He doesnt know the first thing about it, because if he did, he would know that it chooses you.
- i really wish it was a choice
I just wanna get away from it all, ya know?
This morning, I was so proud of myself. My scars had fully healed. Now, i can still feel the sting of my fresh wounds, and i cant help but wonder, "why does this make me feel so damn good?"
- i tried to stop, but it just made me worse
Im screaming on the inside, and you dont care.