I have so much acne and i feel like im losing the upper parts of my vocal range and i hate needles so much but my lovely fiancee holds my hands and kisses my shoulders and i feel so much happier and braver and im so excited every week
what they don’t tell you about HRT is that you might really like even the most unpleasant and scary of effects
i smile every time my voice cracks. it really does spark joy. why does that happen? i was terrified of my voice changing, and it hurts, and it’s embarrassing, so why does it make me so happy??????
i think it’s that even the “”bad”” (completely subjective btw) effects remind me of what i’m doing. i’m finally on HRT and it’s wonderful and i love it, so why would i not find joy in my voice cracking or gaining a bit of weight or my hair getting a little thinner?
change is beautiful and gut-wrenching and terrifying and wonderful, and this is the most alive i’ve ever felt. it’s scary but it’s good scary, like watching a horror movie and cuddling your friends. it’s rollercoaster scary, or haunted house scary. it’s the kind of fear you choose to feel, and would choose again in a heartbeat. it’s not the fear i’m used to, the slow horror of life passing by before your eyes, the kind of fear that makes you want to crawl out of your own skin.
HRT is good scary. i hope the takeaway from this is ‘do it scared’