The Kings Men - Blog Posts

How about THAT Bucky and Zemo?

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“The King's Man (2021) & Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)”

Things that are not funny but are also hilarious

neil: you hate me, remember?

andrew: that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you

Roses are red,

Men get me irritated

"Why does Roland think you're tying me down?"

"Andrew hesitated"

Sempre que eu leio O Rei Corvo e chega na parte que estão tentando internar o Andrew pra tirar a medicação dele eu tenho um pequeno surto quando para pra pensar que do nada o Neil pegou a mão do Andrew e colocou embaixo da blusa dele NA FRENTE DE TODO MUNDO. E eles ainda se perguntam como o Wymack sabia deles. Ele não entendeu o que foi discutido ele só viu o Andrew negando ser internado e de repente aceitando depois do Neil passar a mão do Andrew na própria barriga. Queridos? Como assim? Kkkkkk

E ainda tinha outras pessoas no lugar, imagino todos olhando assim: 👁👄👁

Eu sei que é um momento terrivel, mas eu acho incrível que o Neil simplismente decidiu levar a raquete e o Aaron como armas. Ele pensou: vai ter confusão e eu não sou bom de briga, vou levar o Aaron pra brigar no meu lugar.

CATALINA pelo amor de deus kkkkkk

Jean and Jabberwocky

Sobre The Golden Raven

Livro: ✅️

Kindle Carregado: ✅️

Consulta com a psicóloga agendada para segunda-feira: ✅️

A mesma vibe

"You hate me, remember?"

"Every inch of you," Andrew said.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't... @yen_mayer

@courtstow10

When in doubt reread aftg

🕺🕺🕺

So crazy how this whack asf scene actually invented sexual tension

I’m so glad I got on tumblr and found out that other ppl love Aaron bc when I was reading the books this is how I was imagining him constantly

deadliest piece on the board tonight queen? 👀

My favorite character in aftg is Neil’s hair. Because wdym after years of being on the run and constantly having to change his identity AND play a dangerous physical sport he still kept his gorgeous locks? He could have saved himself half the trouble of dyeing and holding it back by just getting a buzz cut, but the poor guy just didn’t have the heart to cut it.

I love aftg because it’s literally impossible to water down the characters. Literally everything that they do is based on the unique intricacies of their circumstances. Like there’s no surface level behavior for them because they’re all so individual and have different responses to the situations they’re placed in.

This is also abt how annoyed I get when people try to dumb characters like Neil Josten to “short and feral and depressed” or Andrew to “angry and spontaneous bad boy” when they’re SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT RAHHH

TW: self-harm

it just came to mind that andrew minyard likely vividly remembers inflicting every single scar upon himself, plus the pain that caused him to do so, and the armbands are a constant reminder and he'll never fully heal from that and now my day is ruined

as a person who formerly struggled with sh and carries scars very similar to his (3 years clean and going strong!) i'm genuinely so glad i barely remember the worst of my pain even if i'll always be marked by it. but having his memory seems more like a curse than a "gift" in this case

Every day I start kinning this man more

Thinking about how badly Andrew must’ve wanted to be known. For someone to actually notice things about him and be curious and piece all these observations together. Like. The truth game was just as much about wanting to know things about Neil as him wanting Neil to know him. And even without the truth game being evoked, when he knows what answers Neil must be digging for, he gives in more often than not. I think about how when Neil started noticing Andrew’s odd memory, especially when Neil believed him not to be paying attention and when Neil started finally asking questions, and how quickly Andrew answered them, how he must’ve been thinking, finally.

How much he wanted to be known and by someone he knew by now he could trust. Someone he knew could understand him and the implications of things he’s told. Someone he could tell his own secrets and things he’s been keeping to himself. Everything he let other people assume or misunderstand about him. This little nobody runaway is paying attention, piecing it together, understanding in a way that no one has ever been willing to do, not even his own twin. And when Aaron and Nicky asks him when this happened or other variations of the questions Neil’s already solved himself, and Andrew tells them they should’ve figured them out himself.

The way Neil was the first person to take him at his word, especially about something that wasn’t violence. To look further into him and the things he says and does and actually try to understand him. Not just write him off as a violent psychopath who does things for his own pleasure. The way Andrew wanted him to see more of him and understand him. And I just. My mind is tangles. But I want to go on about this forever.

a question that hasn't let me go since finishing AFTG:

in a timeline where the perfect court worked out, would neil be a striker or a backliner?

while he was at the nest, riko made him play as a backliner but he performed rather poorly, and yet riko marked him #4 for his perfect court.

even though his special potential only showed when he played as a striker for the foxes.

but the perfect court was supposed to be riko (1) and kevin (2) for strikers, and jean called neil his partner that got away or something so we can assume that the planned backliners were jean (3) and neil (4)

did riko really gamble on neil's ability to adjust to being defense, or would he have been a striker sub??

part 2 here <3

andrew is very loud about being gay.

he doesn't really "flaunt it" that much in college

but it gets to the point where he just wants to prove to kevin that yes, he can be successful and gay

so really, it all starts with a bet

anyway. neil has so many videos of andrew getting drunk in front of him and waxing poetic about boys (one in particular)

"neil. neil. this guy has such nice eyes. and ass"

*sigh* "andrew that's a picture of me"

"woahhhh"

but these are (mostly) all private moments

andrew isn't super open in front of others, considering how reserved he is in public

that all changes four years after going pro.

there are some days where queer people just feel exceptionally us and we just want to tell everyone we know

(but being closeted kinda... makes that hard. ahem.)

andrew isn't exempt from these feelings

and one day, the morning of a major interview, he's just hit with the sudden urge to tell someone that he's gay

it's bursting inside him, a physical feeling he can't push down behind the apathy

he tries to ignore it as best as he can and goes to the interview with his team

it's pretty chill. the team is playing a game called "Truth or Drink", where if you don't say truth... you drink?

so everyone's getting tipsy while andrew sits quietly in the corner of the sofa

eventually, one of his teammates realizes that no one had asked andrew anything yet, so when it's her turn, she turns to andrew

"andrew! truth or drink?"

andrew blinks slowly, a bit surprised that the question was directed to him

he considers his options. that weird feeling is still bubbling up inside his stomach and he figures alcohol will probably make things feel worse

so after a moment, he glances up at her and says quietly "truth"

she looks gleeful

after a bit of drunk conferring with some other teammates, she faces andrew with a glint in her eyes

"so," his teammates lean forward. "do you have a girlfriend?"

andrew groaned internally. of course this is the one thing they'd ask their most private, closed-off teammate

"no," he scowled. he was going to leave it at that, really, but his mouth moved faster than his mind and before he could stop himself, he blurted out "i do have a boyfriend though"

there was a moment of silence

then everyone started talking over each other, asking questions and demanding to learn more. andrew slumped in his seat, mentally preparing for the next 30 minutes

a few days later, the interview drops

predictably, the internet goes wild

fans speculate wildly about which guy andrew minyard could possibly be dating

it ranges to other exy players to celebrities to random students from PSU

neil and andrew don't come out for a while though

but in that gap, between andrew being out as gay and actually revealing that he's dating neil abram josten, andrew is pretty vocal about his sexuality

it starts with donations to LGBTQ+ groups and messages of support on social media

lots of sports fans (and people in general) understand how revolutionary it is to have an out athlete of this caliber

so they're constantly putting out encouraging messages

and after all this support, andrew eventually becomes a bit more... lax about what he posts

it starts with this on twitter:

yeah... andrew breaks the internet again

nicky tweets out an unholy amount of keyboard smashes

and andrew just... keeps posting gay memes

you can't go a single interview without andrew randomly interjecting the fact that he's gay

there are compilations on youtube like "andrew minyard being a gay icon for 17 minutes" or "20 minutes of andrew minyard being fruity af"

(andrew finds these far too funny — every time he comes across one of these, he just has to share it on social media)

andrew ends up on the face of so many queer magazines and pride events and such

of course, there are some shitty homophobic people

but every time a kid comes up to him and tells him how he inspired them to come out, those people become easier and easier to forget about

needless to say, by the time he and neil come out, andrew's already pretty comfortable with sharing his sexuality on the internet

being out as a couple, though? well, that's just a whole other story

LOOK OUT FOR PART 2 IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS it's abt andrew and neil coming out istg it's a mess but a very fun one lmao

the best part about rereading aftg is finding little hints at andreil before they actually happen. like it's so subtle but so hard to miss when you know what's actually happening ya know?

from trk

and this is from tkm

hii i literally love your headcannons... can you please write Laila and Alvarez hcs? they're so underrated!!

ok yes as it is now pride and these two are my fav lesbians i MUST

so they met their freshman year at USC, when laila tripped over her foot after seeing a hot girl (alvarez) and spilled a coffee all over said hot girl's new white shirt

alvarez proceeded to hate her. even if she was nice to look out. she definitely did not notice that

and because laila does not like to be bested, she decided that alvarez's pretty face would not distract from her annoying personality

their rivalry was the only major point of contention within the trojans — they would constantly bicker in and out of practice

(jeremy, bless his heart, could never figure out when laila and alvarez were flirting or fighting though)

but despite this, they worked wonders on the court

laila was a powerhouse in the goal and alvarez was a relentless backliner

everyone was extremely confused about the nature of their relationship

this on-and-off behavior continued well into their second year

that is, until they got their spring semester classes and laila and alvarez were in the same calculus class

now they actually had to deal with each other, even off the court

they managed to stay out of each other's hair mostly, but one day, alvarez was absolutely stuck on a concept and jeremy was shit at math and office hours were closed and this really wasn't good—

she did the first thing she could and texted laila for help

so laila came over and after some initial awkwardness, they actually started working

and it turns out, laila is really good at explaining math

it turns into a bit of a norm. every wednesday afternoon, they would meet in a café and study together

(and maybe, just maybe, if each week, they began sitting closer and closer to one another, that's really no one's business)

this just slowly happens over the next few months, and one day, it hits the two of them that hey, maybe i actually like her more than a friend?

naturally, laila and alvarez both freak the fuck out at this

so they go to jeremy separately, who is now dealing with two flustered, emotionally-constipated lesbians

laila: jeremy i think i like alvarez. "like" as in i want to date her

jeremy: hmm. maybe you should just tell her?

laila: fucking shit knox are you dumb—

alvarez: jeremy HELP i think i have a crush on laila

jeremy: well, maybe she feels the same way! just tell her that :)

alvarez: you're so goddamn stupid why would i do that—

needless to say, jeremy is extremely overwhelmed.

eventually, he wrangles the two of them together on new year's day at a party

it's minutes to midnight and nearly everyone has a partner, romantic or platonic

laila and alvarez end up pushed up next to each other, surrounded by a bunch of loud, sweaty college kids

but none of that mattered. because with three seconds on the clock, laila and alvarez both felt a surge of courage from jeremy's words

they rushed towards each other just as midnight struck and promptly smashed their noses together

neither of them really expected their first date to be at the ER with swollen, bleeding noses

but hey! there's nothing more romantic than matching ice packs and nose splits, right?

andreil and goodbye kisses (pt. 8) ft. wymack (+ a bonus)

part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 || i'm actually feeling kinda sad that this is the last part but also my brain can't come up with more ideas lmao

wymack stands by the fact that he doesn't get paid enough to deal with andrew and neil's shit (both as separate idiots and together)

but he does care for all his foxes, despite all the... difficulties that surround them

and honestly? one of the biggest struggles he faces is how absolutely thick-headed and oblivious the foxes can be regarding andrew and neil's relationship

truly, the heart-eyes neil constantly gave andrew were so obvious, he's not sure how everyone missed them before

but because he's so observant, he doesn't fail to notice how the older foxes keep giving strange looks to neil whenever he leaves andrew's side now

wymack doesn't get in the way of his foxes' personal lives. but if they start causing disturbances on the court, it's his job as coach to get to the bottom of these issues

(okay, maybe he and dan catch up on the so-called "drama" in the team every few weeks but it's for completely exy-related business. ahem. of course)

one day, wymack corners neil and lets him know that he and dan were to meet in his office after practice to talk through some logistics for the winter banquet

neil agrees, and practice goes smoothly (or, as smoothly as it can go with the foxes)

but after practice is... interesting

wymack swears he had no ulterior motives planned with the meeting; it really was supposed to be a genuine discussion

but the outcome of it was certainly unexpected

he and dan both know to wait for neil, that he doesn't like changing in front of anyone

so they wait. and wait. and wait.

it gets to the point where it's nearly 45 minutes after practice and surely neil should be done at this point, no?

wymack gets up, fully prepared to break down the door to make sure neil is okay when suddenly it slams open

neil tumbles out hand-in-hand with andrew, with matching flushed faces and ruffled hair

wymack sighs

dan outright snorts, and neil's head jerks up and his eyes widen when he notices dan and wymack

but before he can say anything, dan stands up and grins at andrew

"fucking neil again, huh?"

neil chokes on a cough and wymack turns to dan with a groan when he notices the mischievous glint in her eye, almost like that was an... inside joke?

with minyard?

wymack is very confused

andrew just scowls at dan. "i will knife you and make it look like an accident"

neil is still recovering from his coughing bout, so wymack turns back to the stabby midget ready to reprimand him

"i'm not scared of you anymore, remember andrew?" dan's eyes are still bright as she tries not to laugh

"shut up, both of you" wymack interrupts their weird jokes conversation whatever gruffly. "neil, do you remember why we're here?"

"huh? OH. oh shit. drew, i'm supposed to be talking with them about some winter banquet stuff"

andrew considers this. "how long?" wymack tells him about an hour, and andrew nods and turns to neil. "i'll stay"

neil just rolls his eyes. "you have a paper due tomorrow that you haven't even started yet. go do that, i'll be fine"

wymack sighs. he's been doing a lot of that lately. "minyard, go finish your homework or i swear to god, i'll make you run three marathons next week"

andrew glares but mutters out a "fine." he goes to leave but neil tugs him back by the wrist

neil then proceeds to kiss andrew on the nose and gives him the most bashful smile wymack has ever seen on the kid's face

neil's happy. it's a christmas miracle! and it's not even christmas yet!

and that kiss... really, it was the last thing he expected out of neil and andrew but he's happy at how comfortable they've grown around each other

and okay, it was a little adorable

(not that he'd ever say that to their faces, of course)

andrew ends up stumbling out of the court with the reddest face wymack's seen as neil turns back to him and dan

"right" he says sheepishly. "banquet?"

BONUS:

abby doesn't believe it when david tells her about the nose kiss

she knows that neil has a heart of gold, she knows that andrew has so much capacity to feel

but a nose kiss? she doesn't think andrew would agree to that

so when her older foxes come over one night after a tiring, but successful, game, she decides she needs to see this for herself

after a hearty dinner, all the kids are sitting in the living room, with andrew and neil talking quietly in the back corner of the room.

perfect.

"neil!" abby calls, and everyone in the room quiets to look at her. "sweetheart, could you help me bring out the dessert?"

nicky immediately jumps up from beside her, saying how he could help if she needed it

"no no, it's alright, i was hoping to talk to neil, if that's okay? it might take a little while"

neil looks extremely worried at this and abby almost feels guilty.

almost

he glances at andrew and then he leans down so quickly that abby nearly misses it

neil kisses andrew on the nose.

abby barely notices andrew's bright blush, nor does she register neil moving towards her

she just feels so proud of her foxes for coming so far in a world that keeps trying to beat them down

it's a sentimental moment, which is completely ruined by kevin's woop and nicky's yell of glee

"YES BITCH THEY DID IT THEY DID THE KISS GIVE ME YOUR MONEY ALLISON"

"fuck you hemmick. fuck you"

neil looks at them wildly. "you guys were betting on us? i didn't think you would..."

matt sighs and slings an arm around his friend. "oh neil, do you still really think that low of us? we bet on everything"

JSKHKKSJ OK IT'S FINALLY DONE i already miss this series but it has been a fun time :) my asks are always open if y'all have anything specific you want me to write !

ok because AP tests are upon us and this is my only way of releasing all my stress, here's a short list of andreil study time hcs for your viewing pleasure

our boy andrew doesn't really have to study

neil on the other hand... actually needs to work to keep up his GPA

he's never really cared enough to study but now he has the foxes and exy and a future to lose so he might as well put in the effort to keep them

neil needs caffeine like he needs oxygen. the man cannot focus for shit without it

he'll down like three mugs of black coffee in the morning and be set for the day

andrew hates it but doesn't complain much as long as neil makes him some actually decent coffee too

(once, neil accidentally gave him the wrong mug and andrew didn't talk to him for the rest of the day)

when andrew does study or does homework, he hates studying in the library

he told nicky that it was because he's "allergic to books"

really, he just knows he'd get distracted and start reading william faulkner or jane austen instead of his textbooks

neil, however, loves the library

he can't study at all in the dorms; he needs to keep moving to new environments so he doesn't get bored by his surroundings

so neil and andrew don't study together half the time

which works out well considering the few times that they do, they tend to get more than a little... distracted

but if the library is closed or neil just doesn't have the energy to leave the dorm, he bullies andrew into helping him study instead of playing video games or reading

(neil gets a kiss for every question he gets right. andrew gets to look at a pretty guy for a few hours. it's a win-win situation)

mr. Neil draws-fox-paws-instead-of-doing-his-work Josten struggles with focusing on literally anything but exy and andrew

so he always ropes in one of the foxes as a "study-buddy" to hold him accountable while he's working

andrew and neil both like having noise-cancelling headphones on while they work, but this also means that people hold full-on conversations with them without realizing that they can't be heard

(also, because they're assholes, even when they can hear the other person, they just... don't respond.)

andrew is a pastel highlights guy. also he's weirdly possessive about his pens

neil just grabs the first mechanical pencil he sees (99% of the stationary he has isn't even his, he just found them laying around campus)

neil is also super disorganized. loose papers everywhere, he can never find anything. no matter how clean a place starts, it turns into a mess within 5 minutes of neil studying there

he also has food wrappers and crumbs everywhere because he constantly snacks while studying

andrew is surprisingly clean - he organizes everything by class and then color-codes everything (granted his memory helps so he doesn't have too many notes in the first place)

anyways, they both have their own methods of studying and it works for them

(aka andrew just vibes and neil frantically finishes all his work 3 hours before it's due)

ok yeah that's all i got right now, my brain is fried and i actually have to study now, pray for me 😔

i had an idea i would love to see from your perspective (you're so good at andreil oh my god) if you wanted to write some stuff about it? i always wondered how andrew reacted when he first found neil missing after the binghampton game (starts pg 235 in the king's men). thoughts? (-- the ttyl blog <3)

omg i literally finished re-reading that scene before seeing your ask skjflsj ~ i hope you like this ! (i'm just realizing that i barely followed ur request and just rambled a lot but that's FINE 😬)

read it on ao3 here :)

«««———»»»

Andrew walked in line to the bus with the rest of the Foxes, mind going a million miles an hour behind his impassive expression. 

"Thank you," Neil had said, eyes truer than Andrew had ever seen them. "You were amazing."

Andrew wasn't such a fool for Neil Josten that he couldn't figure out there was something more happening under the surface, something bigger than just an Exy shutout, that he wasn't telling anyone. Something forcing truth out of him.

Neil looked scared.

Apparently, no one else received the memo, because behind him, Matt Boyd kept kicking at Andrew's heels and Andrew could nearly see the nosy smile on Reynold's face. Boyd's voice was drowned out by the cacophony of both jeers and shouts of approval coming from all around them, but he had no doubts that Boyd was fishing for information surrounding his and Neil's "not this" to settle a bet of some sort.

Andrew didn't really care. He was more focused on leaving Binghamton, getting some answers out of Neil, and then kissing him senseless.

Of course, Andrew had no plans to tell Neil of that last item on the list, but he was sure he (and everyone else, apparently) knew anyway.

Maybe not Nicky, though. For all his cousin boasted about having an "incredible gaydar," he tended to be a bit clueless about Andrew.

Andrew's eyes were unfocused, gazing at the bounce of Neil's red curls while his thoughts wandered around nothing at all.

Nothing? his mind mused unhelpfully. Or Neil? Or is that one in the same now?

Shut up, he huffed internally. I hate him.

Lost in his head, it was only until he heard a pained curse from Aaron that he jerked straight and saw the world burning around him.

«««———»»»

Andrew's vision went red. 

He nearly would have broken out of line and straight into the tidal wave of rioters had he not noticed the police trying to push back the crowd. He had never trusted the pigs, but Andrew supposed he could let them handle the mess until he'd gotten a chance to check on Aaron at the bus.

He had nearly fooled himself with that thought when an ice cooler sailed through the air and missed Danielle's face by an inch. An enraged shout came from Andrew's right, and he could feel the familiar heat of adrenaline in his stomach that always came when he and Renee sparred.

There was going to be a fight.

No sooner than he had that thought, the crowd around him exploded into madness, nearly running the Foxes over. Andrew may have been ready to throw some punches, but he was not at all prepared for the onslaught of unfamiliar bodies piling on him. Moving around him. Touching him. 

Andrew couldn't breathe.

He lost sight of Neil's head in the mess, hoping one of the security guards would bring Neil to safety while Andrew tried to ground himself. What had Bee taught him? 

What is your name? Andrew Minyard.

How old are you? 20 years old.

What is upsetting you? Hands. Everywhere.

Can you do something about it? Yes. I can move now.

He felt the glancing blow of someone's elbow on his face, nearly hitting his eye. It was sure to bruise later, but for now, the sharp pain mixed with Bee's words were enough to shake Andrew out of his stupor.

He ducked to the left, neatly missing a thrown shoe and was grateful to his limited stature for once. He kept an eye out for a flash of red, the glint of blue eyes, but seeing that Neil was nearly as short as Andrew himself, the effort was futile.

He'll be fine, Andrew thought. Find Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin, and get to the bus.

To his surprise (or maybe not), Andrew found Reynolds trading fierce blows with someone twice her size, Renee at her back. He caught Renee's glance and she gave him a firm nod of reassurance.

He nodded back, already swiveling to find the rest of his group. 

After a few minutes, he spotted Nicky and Kevin huddled together, slowly moving to the edge of the crowd. He caught up and grabbed Nicky's wrist, who jerked away and reared his hand back for a punch before realizing it was Andrew.

Despite it all, Andrew felt a thrum of satisfaction. A few years ago, Nicky had let people beat him down over and over again. At least now he was learning to fight back.

"Oh thank god," Nicky cried, catching Kevin's attention, before his eyes widened. He reached out, remembering himself at the last second. "Andrew... your face, what happened?"

Andrew shrugged. He'd been through worse. 

Nicky looked like he wanted to say something, but Kevin cursed loudly and began pushing out of the sea of bodies with renowned vigor.

"It's getting more violent and more people are joining," Kevin said, voice strained. "We need to get out and regroup at the bus."

"Aaron?" Andrew asked. Nicky glanced around a few moments before pointing to his right.

"There!" he exclaimed, and motioned to Kevin to go in that direction. Kevin nodded and they made their way over to Aaron, who was ducking under beer bottles and was nearly smacked in the face by a PSU banner.

"Aaron!" Kevin called, and Aaron's shoulders dropped with relief as he swerved a growing fight and made his way over to them.

Andrew scanned his brother quickly and, after seeing no visible injuries, motioned to start back towards the parking lot. They made their way over to the bus and found Boyd and Danielle standing, the former looking like he'd just lost a fight with a mountain lion.

Danielle was gripping his arm as Abby tended to his wounds, but Andrew heard her say he might need to go to the hospital for the more serious injuries. Boyd looked pained at the thought, but when he glanced up and caught Andrew's eye, he smiled and waved them over.

"Andrew, here," Abby said, noticing his injury. He took an ice pack from her and glanced around.

"Where's Neil?" he asked, choosing to ignore the suggestive look between Boyd and Danielle. Abby shrugged and opened her mouth before her eyes caught on something behind Andrew and she waved.

Andrew turned around to find Renee and Reynolds walking proudly towards them. Reynolds had a mosaic of bruises all over her, and Renee was holding her wrist precariously.

Abby sighed and began treating them as Wymack rounded the front of the bus and finally found his team.

Not the whole team, a ringing voice said in Andrew's head. Neil isn't here yet.

Which was odd, no? He had a security guard in front of him, surely he would have made it here first? Perhaps Wymack had seen him and taken him somewhere. Maybe he was already safe in the bus and Abby hadn’t noticed him.

Andrew pushed past Danielle and boarded the bus, walking the length of it but not finding a loudmouthed striker in its shadows. His stomach became knotted with a curious feeling he slowly identified as dread.

Andrew was at the door of the bus again. He looked at Wymack.

"Where. Is. Neil." he demanded. He saw Wymack's confused expression and before he even said anything, Andrew felt his heart stop.

"I don't know. I thought he was with you."

Reynold's knowing smirk gave way to uncertainty as the rest of the Foxes quieted. There was silence for a moment. Two.

Then Andrew threw his ice pack on the floor and raced back into the heart of the riot.

«««———»»»

He ignored the shouts coming from behind him, his mind an endless loop of Neil, Neil, Neil, is he safe, has he been hurt, he was supposed to be nothing, NEIL

After a few minutes of searching and more than a few near punches, the police finally regained some control over the situation and Andrew was able to scour the grounds for any hint of where Neil might be.

He saw the racquet first. The duffle bag was a few meters away from it.

Numbly, Andrew picked up both items, grabbing Neil's phone as it fell from the netted side pocket.

0, it said. 

Andrew felt a piercing emptiness when he saw Neil's things without their rightful owner beside them.

He slowly walked back to the Foxes' bus, head pounding but unable to really register the dwindling fight behind him. And when the Foxes finally came in view, he saw the confusion on their faces when they saw no Neil walking with him.

Andrew mentally ran through everything that he knew. Neil was scared. He was running from someone, someone Kevin knew about? A zero on his phone from an unnamed number — a countdown, perhaps. He would never leave his things unattended, so maybe he wanted to tell Andrew he had been taken unwillingly, knowing that Andrew would never leave without him.

There was something he was missing, some vital piece of information that Neil hadn't told him that was causing this mess.

The guilty look on Kevin's face told Andrew everything he needed to know. He knew something.

He dumped Neil's things on the ground by Wymack's feet, mentally assessing himself. His cheek throbbed, each breath he took was sticky with sweat, his heart was pounding.

Neil was gone.

Andrew felt such a blind hot rage at that, the likes of which he hadn't felt in so long, the type where he felt like laughing at how cruel the world could be.

And before he could tell his body to stop, Andrew's hands were around Kevin's throat.

«««———»»»

"Shit Andrew! You're hurting— " "Andrew, stop— " "Get off of— "

«««———»»»

Andrew couldn't remember what happened after that, not immediately at least. It was a bit disorienting, going from a perfect recollection to being so overrun by anger that his mind went blank. Was this how everyone else felt all the time? He felt like someone just took out a Jenga piece from his mind, like it was close to collapsing.

Distantly, he recalled being yanked off of Kevin as he gasped some explanation about a mob boss, Kengo's right hand man, Nathaniel Wesninski. But none of it mattered. Andrew had broken his promise. He had hurt the person he had vowed to protect, just like so many had done to him.

And he still didn't have Neil.

«««———»»»

Neil used to make the emptiness a bit fuller, a bit easier to manage, Andrew thought. It felt so impossible to navigate himself now without Neil by Andrew's side.

«««———»»»

There was a hospital. A hotel. There were FBI agents. The news turned on. Off. On. There was another hotel. Handcuffs. Taken away.

«««———»»»

There was Nathaniel Neil. Standing in front of him. Blue eyes, wild hair, bandages unable to hide how irresistible he was, unable to stop the jolt in Andrew's heart.

There was Neil. And everything felt right again.

Neil & Matt art 🫶