The Magnus Archives - Blog Posts
Jayce and Viktor are definetly gonna get the Jonmartin treatment in the sense of "They disappeared and we didn't see a body so they're actually just in a different universes and they're happy and alive and very gay"
The most Magnus Archives coded song I've ever heard in Eyeball in My Martini by the Cramps
Plot twist Jonny's sticking with the whole evil boss thing, and Lena actually got her eyes scooped out and replaced by this universes version of Jonah: Joannah Magnus
Alice is kinda hot
Also Martin would be so pissed knowing that his name is Norris
Tma au where everything is the same but Jon has to do the accents of the statement givers
Jon: *in the coffin*
The eye: shit!!! No!!! My special boy!!! Jonah!!!
Jingus McBingus: *in jail*
The eye: I didn't want it to come to this. Mahtin! Mahtin! The tapes, Make a tape castle on the coffin. My special boy, my poor special boy
Ok, so, I need a second opinion on this, but no one I know in person has seen both TMA and Homestuck, and even on here I’ve only seen one person actively be a fan of both.
So, would the Trickster lollypop be a Spiral/Corruption mix artifact? I mean, the Spiral part is pretty obvious. The candy has spiral imagery, it warps reality, causes a nearly insane attitude in the people it infects, and the tricksters terrorize pretty much everyone else with their reality warping (as much as various prospitians, dersites, and assorted sprites could be terrorized).
But I think corruption also fits for a couple reasons. The Candy is highly infective, like a disease. It also causes a form of obsessive, unhealthy love in the users, which fits with the corruptions toxic love aspect.
Idk, I just thought of it after listening to some homestuck music while working on a tma door decoration for halloween.
HAPPY BPM DAYYYYYYYYYYYY
Happy Brutal Pipe Murder Day, everyone! Here are some of my favorite Leitner memes to celebrate. How are you celebrating?
Retribution
Also it should be a middle school math textbook. Those things weigh like ten pounds for absolutely no reason
If Gerry had killed jurgen leitner he should've beaten him to death with a random hardcover book.
So much imposter syndrome you could call me the NotThem
Imagine if the distortion’s hallways respond to the person trapped in them, but in different ways
Door (pre-michael): automatic and pretty fast. Just root out the things the victim finds most unnerving and change form to echo that
Michael: it’s still automatic, but the part of michael that is something sort of like a “who” keeps being surprised by the hallway shapes it’s currently in. Not surprised enough to react, especially not after years of being michael, but still “huh, that’s a new one”
Helen: no longer automatic, but a lot more precise. Human-helen’s experience with real estate means she’s seen a lot of buildings and talked a lot of strangers into buying those buildings at a higher price than maybe they should have sold for. She makes sure that the design of the corridors is optimized in a way the distortion never quite bothered with
As much as i love ruminating on michael, i also love helen, because i see her as being the best of both human and spiral, able to use everything she has from both experiences in a way “existence tied to its pointlessness” michael never really could
So is michael like aware of its body like if it gets a few extra bones in its hands mid-handshake or if its eyes shift just a few hues warmer is it aware of that. Or is its perception of the flesh suit so fucked up and spirally that its awareness doesnt really go beyond “it exists, sometimes”
Michael’s hair is actually fiberglass. It looks soft and interesting to touch but then you touch it and oops glass in your fingers
One time i left a persimmon in a bag for two months and only discovered it when my hand went through it. Very very unpleasant. Since then i have referred to the entire debacle as The Corruption Incident. I think the phenomenon as a whole can be described as a cross between Corruption and Dark. “There’s a thing there and it’s probably super gross but i really don’t want to know about or interact with it”
I think there needs to be a 15th fear added to the list and it's called "Uh Oh" and its the fear that There Is Something At The Back Of The Fridge And You're Too Scared To Touch It and See What It Is Or How Gross It May Be
is helen/melanie/georgie a thing people ship or is that specific polycule not a thing in this fandom
“End recording”
“Supplemental, I took an Am I Gay Test out of spite and scored 97%? Help?”
The gravity archives? The magnus falls? Bill Michael. Yeah whatever
I think jon probably had a little notepad where he wrote random shit the eye told him that he thought would be an interesting fact to tell people.
(Jon trying to do work)
The eye: 👁️👁️👁️
Jon: … huh. Interesting. (Writes “jellyfish can become sleep deprived” on notepad, then continues working)
The thing i both love and hate about michael’s sacrifice was how simultaneously inevitable and preventable it was.
With the info gertrude had, she thought she had to sacrifice someone to save the world. She doubtless thought michael’s blind trust in her was necessary for the plan to work. From her perspective, her actions make sense and couldn’t have happened any other way.
And yet. And yet. It would have failed anyway, whether michael was there or not. Michael could have lived a long and happy life (or at least not been fed to an eldritch horror) and the world would not have ended.
His death is pointless. He died for nothing. And yet there was no path by which he could have survived without changing fundamental aspects of the timeline. Preventable, yet inevitable.
I love big coat and scarf michael as much as the next guy but you have to remember that sannikov land is canonically warm! It’s a jungle! He went through that door with the warm winter clothes in a backpack! Sure, it should have been cold, but that’s the funny bit about the Spiral: it defies “should” at every turn. That said, funny spirally scarves are fun as hell to draw, just probably not canonically accurate (at least as much as any visual representation of mag 101 can be canonically accurate)
However sometimes gerry decides to insult beholding while staring at the tattoos and jonah always gets personally offended when he does this. Gerry would probably do it significantly more often if he knew this
Its funny knowing that Elias can see out of any eye, real or drawn, so he could have a pov of Gerry’s knuckles as he gets into fistfights with entities left and right
Gerry about to throw down with a horrific creature:
CATCH THESE HANDS
And Elias is just getting a front row seat from his office through angry goth tattoos.
wait
okay so you know Sasha's surnames is James and Tim's is Stoker
if we combine it
JOKER
THEIR SHIPNAME CAN BE FUCKING JOKERS AND WERE NOT USING IT???? WHY.
and they're literally the funny ones in the archives. they joke around with eachother a lot. COME ON PEOPLE
Jon, lying awake at 2 am: why am i like this
The Eye: neurodivergence wiki, asexuality wiki, probably some other wikis
Jon: that was rhetorical also what
Honestly I kinda get Mike Crew. After the millionth time someone asks something about you that they find weird, you do, in fact, start wanting to throw them off buildings. If I had sky powers I’m not entirely certain I wouldn’t use them that way
The tma fandom lieddd everyone talks about the “good cows” scene but it was two lines and i barely noticed it the first time! Everyone talks about the Safehouse and it was one episode (technically more if you count apocalypse!safehouse but i don’t)! Everyone talks about the “Somewhere Else” line but that’s just two words, it’s not verbally capitalized like i thought it would be! And jmart is never a cute and fluffy ship like everyone acts like it is, it’s 70% issues and 30% “we’re dating because it’s the apocalypse and we’re pretty sure we’re gonna die”! I’m not talking about tim kayaking here, that’s just denial + a pretty good way for me to somehow have no idea what was gonna happen to tim till it happened. Anyways
Hello, All avatars, marked peoples, and whoever else may be lurking in these shadows. Happy Pride month to you all. There are many things to be scared of, and your identity should never have to be one of them. Go, be yourself, you dont know how comfortable it can be one the fear settles and disappears.
Recently on Unhelpful File Labels in the Archives:
On-Going Project. Folders were empty.
Well Written Articles, 1999. There were no articles in this folder. There were a lot of budget reports though.
Stuff. You are killing me smalls.
Section 569-055 Knowingly burning or exploding. This was just papers shoved between files, I have a lot of questions and zero answers.