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LIGHTNING ON THE SUNNIEST DAY.

🍁 a kazuha x gn!reader fanfic.

wc. 12k. genre. angsty fluff, fluffy angst.

warnings. spoilers for kazuha's backstory (story is set when he joins beidou), mentions of death.

overview. you, y/n endo, are the endo clan's heir. your life has been spent within your home, learning only what you should know for your pre-decided life ahead. but then you meet kazuha, who, despite being similar in carrying an honorable family name, is your opposite in many other ways. he seeks the unknown, and enjoys sleeping under the stars with the night breeze.

the moment you realize you've fallen for him, he's about to join a sailing crew and you might not ever see him again.

if you can't change his mind, you'll have a decision to make.

The chatter of The Crux’s going-away party overwhelmed your senses as you pushed your way through the crowds. There were seamen’s laughter and sailors’ tales, families coming together for what they all hoped wouldn’t be the last time, and the fond but implicitly forlorn clinking of glasses, but so far, you hadn’t heard the sound you were listening for.

To attend such a gathering was rare for you. As an heir to a family of peace-seeking anchorites, festivities of loud mariners and alcohol tended to make you uncomfortable and queasy, but your current quest made these disinclinations less consequential. Finding him — and convincing him to stay, at least a little longer — was all you desired.

The person in question, a noble and well-spoken member of a clan, similar to yourself, was one of the most recent additions to the Crux’s team. You’d known him to be observant and empathetic, so you thought that your chances convincing him not to leave wouldn’t be hopeless. However, the trick was catching him at the right time, when he wasn’t surrounded by people that might convince him otherwise.

This was not the right time. For as soon as you spotted him, standing on the edge of a crowd with The Crux’s captain, he caught your eye and showed a small smile. Before you knew what was happening, he’d said something to the captain and she was calling you.

“Well, if it isn’t the Endo heir! Come and wish your flower-tongued friend farewell!” As you approached, you could hear her muttering something about flowers and Kazuha smiled at you.

“I didn’t expect you to come,” he said gently. You didn’t like to romanticise things but you couldn’t help but mentally correlate his voice to a cool evening breeze during a clear sunset, with leaves dancing and birds chirping. It hardly felt like a romanticization, but more of a balanced metaphor.

“I had to see you,” you said directly. “I’d regret not coming.”

He studied you. “There’s something on your mind.”

“I’m—” You cut yourself off, ducking to avoid someone’s drunken gestures next to you. You gave him a pained look. “Can’t we go somewhere a little more peaceful?”

He pressed his lips together. “If you came later, Beidou would be a little more intoxicated and a little less insistent that I stay in the room. But I haven’t yet attempted to leave, so we can try now.”

You made a wary glance in Beidou’s direction. She seemed like a straight-forward and careless person, and the very type of loud person that made you uncomfortable. Her getup was loud and revealing. She was dressed like a pirate, no less. Aggressive laughter echoed out her mouth over a comment, and she patted the top of Kazuha’s light-coloured head. “He’ll be fine. Being at sea becomes a home to everyone and I’m sure this fella will be no different.”

He glanced at her with a gentle smile.

You felt a sinking feeling and clenched a fist. “Can we hurry?”

“You two goin’ somewhere?” Beidou asked, tilting her head. Her words were slurred. “Before you go off to sniff the trees or whatever it is you do, can’t you give us some poetic words? Going off to see is something I’m looking forward to, but I’m sure you must feel pretty sad about leaving your homeland behind, eh? C’mon, set the mood a little, hm?”

He mulled the request over. “I’m not all too unhappy about leaving. I’m grateful to you and your crew for offering me this opportunity. I hope to be of help to all of you, and learn as much about being at sea as I can.” As he finished, he pursed his lips and his eyes darted away.

Beidou pouted at this. “Aw, buddy. I’m glad you’re comin’ with us, Kazuha.” She raised her cup for what was probably not the first time that night, and the crowd around her did the same with a cheery chorus of agreement.

So loud, you thought again, but now the two of you were walking towards the exit.

You followed Kazuha for some time in silence, up a hill so that you had a nice and ironic view of the sea. He turned to you with a pleasant expression. “I can only presume,” he began, speaking slowly with his haunting eye contact, “that the reason you wanted to talk to me was in order to convince me not to go on the Alcor.”

You opened your mouth but no words came out. Of course, you should have expected him to know your intentions but surprise and intense foreboding consumed you, and you remained quiet.

He continued. “I understand your need for uniformity and dependency, but you put that at risk by associating with me. I grow uneasy staying in one place. I’ve told you this before, and it wasn’t just for the fluff of conversation. I continued to warn you, Endo Y/N, that I’d leave. But no, you are still trying.”

You pursed your lips.

“How do you intend to convince me to stay?” he asked. “It’s not impossible, you know. Nothing is impossible with me, although staying in one place is certainly… not my first choice.”

“I just wish you could stay longer,” you said. “I’ve been more happy with you than I’ve been my whole life. It just feels like you leaving is going to rip that all away and I’ll be back where I was.”

“You depend on me too much for your happiness.”

“Is that wrong?”

A soft, post-dusk breeze stirred your hair and clothing. Kazuha’s ruby eyes gazed into the night sky as a sage look overtook his countenance. “If I truly made you happy, Y/N, then you’d have learned how to be happy without me. True joy is the ability to carry it with you even when the circumstances call not for it.”

There he went, spouting off wisdom to you instead of giving you a straight answer. And making your heart pound.

“What if…” you began, trailing off. Would you regret saying this, with full knowledge he didn’t feel the same way? But there was no stopping your mouth. Maybe this was the one thing he needed to hear to stay behind. “What if I loved you?”

He looked at you and not a word left his mouth. He stepped towards you and for a moment, although you knew it was the least likely thing for him to do, you thought he might kiss you.

He rested a slender hand on your shoulder and leaned past your mouth towards your ear.

“Then I’d suggest you come along,” he whispered. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of his light breath on your neck. He leaned back with a smile, looking a tad smug. “Hm?”

The way he tilted his head at you that evening was almost enough to convince you to drop your whole life to follow him to sea. The words resonated with you the rest of the night and you could hardly sleep. Because adventure had never appealed to you until now, until Kaedehara Kazuha invited you on one.

If you joined The Crux, there was a good chance you’d be expected to do labour. The Endo family you were born into was powerful enough that you’d never really had to dirty your hands. You spent enough time studying martial techniques and arguing with your older siblings and finding comfort within the walls of your own home. Your life was planned out for you, and you were happy about that. No worries for the next day, no real use for your skills. It was all recreational, and safe.

A long journey was the last thing you wanted. If you would ever have to engage on a journey it would have to be something utterly necessary. This seemed so frivolous.

Then again, in comparison with most people you knew, you were acting like you had a life to throw away. You knew for a fact that a good number of the guards at your estate would give anything for this kind of opportunity. You understood that their lives were likely more “difficult” than yours but… that meant you shouldn’t take what you had for granted, right? Your life here was perfect, wasn’t it?

But you were unhappy. You’d said so yourself, that you hadn’t been as happy your whole life compared to when Kazuha had been here.

He wouldn’t stay. You knew that.

Perhaps that’s what drove you the next morning to tell Captain Beidou about the invitation you were accepting. It wasn’t a small ordeal getting onto her ship, having to talk to three different people before someone pointed you in the direction of the rowboats. By the time you boarded the Alcor you were already tired enough. You’d gotten a good look at the Alcor’s shape and size now. It was impressive, yes, but slightly overwhelming, with its pointed front and bold red sails. The dragon at the bow was more and more menacing as you drew near.

Beidou’s mood last night had been loose and jolly, but it was clear now that she was already far more happy to be on her ship, as if finally coming home again. She seemed very impatient, but no more difficult to talk to than she’d been last night — no more difficult, but no less, as you were yourself and you found the vulgarity of her speech distracting.

“I was wondering, are you going directly to Liyue Harbour?” you asked. “I have someone I’d like to visit, so if…”

She laughed and shook her head. “Directly to Liyue? What do you think The Crux is, a shipment fleet?”

You didn’t smile back, twiddling your fingers. “I just don’t know if I can last for more than a few days. I’ve hardly been on a boat before.”

“You live on an island and you’ve never been on a boat?”

“Well…”

“Sounds like a problem we’ve gotta fix. Of course, Mx. Endo, if you aren’t brave enough to even try, then by all means don’t bother. But you’re a trained fighter, are you not?”

You nodded. “But I haven’t—”

“That’s enough for me. You’ll be fine, Endo.”

“Yeah! You can help with the sea monsters!” a muscular man said from a few feet away, setting down a crate.

“Juza’s right. Although, again, if sea monsters are too scary for you…”

They did, in fact, sound far too frightening for you, but for whatever reason you hated the cushioning attitude she was giving you. As if she knew you couldn’t handle anything. She didn’t have an unpleasant tone or diction or anything of the like, and you’d been treated like this most of your life without complaint. But this felt different, and you hated it.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll fight all the sea monsters you need me to.”

She laughed at you, and you had a feeling it was out of approval this time. “There it is! Along with the skills, the spirit’s what we need.” She looked somewhere past you and shouted, “Kazuha! Your friend here accepted your invitation!”

You turned to see the ruby-eyed erudite climbing onto deck. He waved, walking towards you. “Y/N,” he said quietly. “I knew you’d join.”

And yet you hadn’t known yourself? “I haven’t completely made up my mind, actually…”

“Sure you have,” Beidou said easily.

What?

“You’re onboard the ship. We’re leaving soon. All you have to do is stick around for it. You came prepared, did you not?” She gestured to your humble luggage.

“I— I haven’t said goodbye to my family—”

“You can write, can’t you? Send a letter while we’re still docked. Keep it short, though. I can get Thoma to deliver it.”

As much as you might deny it, it really was a done deal. With Kazuha here, it was impossible to truly say no to anything anymore. With a letter filled with a certain rebellious tone even you didn’t recognize sealed and handed off, you stood by Kazuha’s side as the crew finished preparing.

“Setting sail!” Beidou ordered. “Lift the anchor!” She continued to shout things to the crew, using words you’d hardly heard before — till, bow, port — and it went on. She seemed so happy. And a good portion of the crew was working just as hard, but they all seemed to resonate the same joy and you couldn’t tell whether it was because of their captain’s influence or simply their own anticipation for being amongst the waves again.

“You alright?” Kazuha asked you, noticing the way you clung to the railing tightly.

“I’ve never… sailed before…” You clenched your teeth, trying to accustom your body to the sway.

You glanced towards Beidou and couldn’t miss the wide grin on her face. “Sailing?” She took a deep breath. “Mm, no. This ain’t sailing. It’s flying.”

Kazuha patted your shoulder. “Look,” he said, pointing forward. “Focus on the horizon. Isn’t it beautiful? Soon, that’ll be all we see.”

“All we…” Your head was hurting a little. You forced a smile at him. “Okay.”

“The weather is going to be exquisite. It’ll be perfect for your first day. It might get a bit hot, though, but the wind will help cool us.”

“Have you sailed before, Kazuha?” you asked. You’d assumed he hadn’t, but it was becoming clear that he had more knowledge of it than you’d expected.

“Not much,” he said. “In comparison with anyone of the crew, hardly at all.”

“So… why…”

“Observation,” he told you, “and a lot of time spent with those who have.”

It occurred to you that someone with such a strong connection to Anemo would have a strong appreciation for the motion of a ship at sea, the marine scents, and the wind rushing past as the speed picked up.

You'd noticed that other than to you and Beidou, he said nothing. He seemed to have a love for silence which you appreciated but wondered about. It seemed to be more of a mournful silence rather than a personal choice, and you were about to ask if something was bothering him but just as you opened your mouth to do so he spoke.

“Beidou said she’d give us a proper tour of the Arcor, if you’re interested?”

You sniffed. “Oh?”

“She said to meet her on the afterdeck.” Your eyes met his in slight confusion and he showed you a slight smile. “Follow me.” He offered you his hand and you took it without hesitation.

He led you down the steps, weaving past crew, posts, crates, ropes, and noise. He didn’t let go when you approached Beidou, and he didn’t let go as she told you all the terms for decks and sails and explained colourfully what her favourite jargon meant. After a bit she noticed you seemed a bit tired, and she showed you and Kazuha into a quieter cabin.

“It’s exhausting even to walk around on the boat,” you observed, slumping into a wooden chair. “I marvel at the crew’s zeal.”

“I’m sure your current lack of energy is due to several things. Of course your body isn’t used to it; you spend a great deal more time in front of books than labour. It’s unusually hot today, even with the wind, which makes you far more sleepy. The empathetic side of you is thinking about how hard everyone else is currently working, and that tires you more. Don’t worry about them, they came onboard with the intention of working.”

“I didn’t. I didn’t come onboard with intention. I hardly know why I’m here.”

“You’re here to keep me company. I’m grateful you joined.”

You sighed heavily, shaking your head. “It’s just so…”

“Different?”

You met his eyes and nodded. “Precisely. I can’t relax.”

“Travelling is the most tiring to those without experience. All you’ve known is your hometown.”

He made it sound like you’d been living your life wrong. You began to feel defensive, raising your voice slightly. “I never thought that was a bad thing.”

“It’s not a question of whether it’s good or bad. It’s simply an observation of the results.”

“Did you invite me along just to ‘observe the results?’”

“No, of course not. I invited you along because you claimed to love me.”

“You’re testing me!”

“I am not testing you, I would never do such a thing. My reasons for—”

“I don’t understand you, Kazuha. Why do you have to act all enigmatic all the time? You’re so pretentious and —”

“Well, Y/N, I guess there’s the truth. You don’t love me, really. You’re intrigued by me because I’m different, but as soon as you’ve decided you’ve ‘figured me out’ I don’t have value anymore. I’m so glad you came along so that we could learn this about each other.”

“And within the first day, too, hm? It’s barely night time. I thought you were supposed to be all calm and thoughtful, so what’s this? Couldn’t even last a day more of pretending?”

Kazuha opened his mouth to reply, his eyes blazing. But then he froze. “Barely night time?”

You pointed out the window. “It’s dark. Are you blind?”

Kazuha leapt up, walking over to the window. He put a hand on the wall next to the glass, tilting his head. “It’s not even twilight yet.”

You stood as well. Your legs felt like lead. “What do you mean? Don’t you see—”

He turned to you. “It’s barely seventeen-hundred hours.”

You blinked at him.

His expression was no longer frustrated; his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were slightly widened. “Y/N, that is not the fall of night.”

You looked out the window again, more carefully this time. It was dark outside — but you could not see the sky. In fact… you couldn’t see more than a few metres of the water. “Fog…?” you muttered.

Kazuha shut his eyes and went completely silent for a few seconds, inhaling through his nose. “It’s like… burning goldwood. Wait—” He glanced at you, and offered you his hand. “Come with me.”

You hesitated. Hadn’t you just been arguing with each other just a few seconds before? He’d said some things you’d never expected to come out of his mouth, things that weren’t like him to verbalise.

You put your hand in his and the two of you dashed on deck, where you realised that it wasn’t just the two of you acting strange. Groups of the crew had dropped whatever they were doing, shouting at each other or breaking into fistfights. Captain Beidou seemed to be aware, and she was trying and failing to convince the chief mate to calm down.

“Juza, snap outta it,” she was saying, and then noticed you. “Oh, you two. You okay?”

“Goldcoral,” he said.

“Yes, I know,” she replied, glancing at you. “Sorry, Endo, I know this isn’t ideal for a first impression of sailing. It is what it is.”

“But what is it?” you asked, feeling out of the loop.

“The top layer of the water boiled. Lots of coral in these parts, and at times Goldcoral rises to the top. It’s a weird stuff, it liquifies quickly — and boils, and — hence the fog, it can be quite thick gas.”

“And it makes people argue?”

“It increases one’s anxiety,” Kazuha explained. “So, yes, as a result.”

“But what do we do?”

Beidou sighed. “Either we have to convince every person on this boat to calm down, or just wait it out. It can’t cover that much distance — probably, anyways. Neither of you are much of a mediator, are ya?”

“Um, no,” you said. You had trouble talking to people you didn’t know in the first place. You would be useless in this situation.

“I think of myself as more of an onlooker than a peacemaker,” Kazuha said. “Besides, I…” He took a look towards the calamity around the rest of the ship and fell quiet. You sensed that there was something he was unwilling to say, but hadn’t any idea what it could be.

“Alright. I know a few people have realised what’s going on ‘cause we’ve been in this situation before.” Beidou made a significant glance towards Kazuha and a pained expression formed on his face for a moment. You’d always known Kazuha to be happy to use his Anemo skills, glad to be helpful or to provide peace to others. His connection with the wind and air always seemed to be an important part of him. Of course he’d agree.

“I— I suppose I could, if it’s really…”

This answer was so unlike him that you had to do a double take. Perhaps it was the coral substance in the air or whatever it was that they had described.

“I don’t want to force you, but even helping our speed through this patch would save our asses. It’s only a matter of time before someone breaks something.”

“I’ll do it.”

You stared at Kazuha but he didn’t return the gaze, following Beidou. You watched him disappear into the mist that had made its way over the boat, and then helplessly crept back into the cabin. Maybe it was the goldcoral, but you were also vaguely aware of the fact that maybe it was only inflating feelings that were already there. Either way, you couldn’t help but feel a little peeved at Captain Beidou for having Kazuha do something he seemed to be against, and you couldn’t help but feel a little peeved at Kazuha for acting differently than usual.

—🍁

It didn’t take long, with Kazuha’s breezy assistance, to reach clear skies and high seas once again. The crew oriented itself, Beidou gave a spiel about Goldcoral directed at newer sailors, and she encouraged them to take some extra water rations to wash any remnants out of their system. Kazuha had not returned to the cabin by dusk, nor had you desired to look for him. You remained in a hammock, mulling over the instance today. Even with your mind cleared, resentment remained in your heart for what he’d said.

“You’re simply intrigued by me because I’m different,” he’d snapped.

Had he been wrong?

You’d spent your life shut up in your home. You had no reason to leave. You had everything you could possibly want, or so you’d thought. But then he came along and his way of life was so different from everything you knew and yes, you were intrigued because he was different. Because he needed different things in life — less things in life. Perhaps his personality was gentle and observant like a breeze, but so was his presence. You knew he'd be gone all too soon, and for whatever reason, that was what grasped you to pursue more time around him.

You hadn't expected that to lead you here, of course. You were believing yourself to have fallen in love with him — why else would you have come here? Or were you believing a lie you'd come up with in order to hang onto something you wanted?

You’d had everything until you met Kazuha. What did that say about how you'd lived your life?

At that moment, the door opened and you turned your head to see who it was. Kazuha nodded at you. He looked greener than usual, and was holding his head.

“You okay?”

“A storm lies ahead,” he said shortly, and with that, he collapsed into the hammock next to yours with a quiet groan.

You knew that Kazuha had difficulty when it came to changing weather, but the contrast between the calm seas outside and Kazuha’s visible distress was somewhat unsettling.

“How bad? And how soon?” you asked, glancing towards the darkened window. The ship’s sway was as gentle as ever. Maybe you'd have a little trouble sleeping only getting used to it, and so you could barely imagine what it would be like during a storm.

During the frequent storms in Inazuma you were accustomed to, you'd easily be able to step into a lower floor and forget about it within minutes. But at sea that might not be an option. How did sailors do it?

“I expect it will be later tomorrow evening. The wind is violent.

You paused. “Are you going to be okay, Kazuha?”

He inhaled sharply and shivered. “Of course. It's only a strong feeling, not a physical ailment. I'll adjust.” His voice, already calculated and soft, broke and he went into a contradictory silence.

A few hours later, sleep seemed no easier to you than it was for him. You were still not used to the sway of the ship, and your head was swimming. Kazuha’s harsh breathing had quelled, but eventually you realised he was whispering something. You didn’t want to intrude — you’d never been in the same room as him while he was sleeping, nor did you know whether he was in fact sleeping. But once he whispered, quite clearly, “I’m sorry,” you had no control over yourself. Something was wrong with him — had been wrong with him — more than he’d let on.

You eased yourself out of your hammock onto the cabin floor. You lost your balance almost immediately, grabbing hold of a post. Then, you made your way through the dark over to Kazuha. He must have heard you moving; he’d gone completely quiet.

“Kazuha,” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

You heard a gentle shuffling and could just barely see his silhouette sitting up. “Why are you awake?” he asked softly, clearly avoiding the question.

“You sounded like you were in a lot of pain. Emotional pain.”

“My past haunts me at times. I do apologize if I was disturbing you.”

He was shutting you down in a way that could only be to avoid talking about it, not because he was angry with you. You debated whether you should push him or not. He was a mysterious young man and you knew only one thing for certain about him — that there would always be more than he was letting on. “If you need to talk about it,” you said, seeking his face unsuccessfully in the darkness, “I’ll listen.”

“I do appreciate your willingness to listen. I know you wouldn't offer any judgement or criticism. This is simply something I can't bear to verbalise.” You had to lean forward to hear him. “I fear it's too fresh in my mind,” he finished no louder than a breath, and sighed silently. You felt air on the front of your face, and your first guess was that it was his breath. But you realised it was cool, like a breeze at twilight. Then, you heard things — shouts of voices, but hollow as if in a tunnel. You heard thunder, too, and in front of your eyes you could see lights that began to form shapes — the shape of Kazuha, rushing towards someone’s collapsed figure, and light flashing from another across the room. But more than anything you got a feeling of understanding, and grief.

The images never came into focus; they were gone already and you were squinting into the darkness. “Was that you?” you asked, your head spinning a little.

“Yes,” he replied as quietly as before, “yes, it was.”

“It was frightening.”

“It was because of me.”

You didn't know the full story, but you knew that Kazuha would never have intended to put someone he loved in danger. “It wasn't your fault,” you said, blindly placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He froze a bit at your touch, showing no signs of returning the action.

“I appreciate the sentiment.” He spoke evenly, and took a deep breath. “You should try to get some sleep, Y/N. You will find the seas to be less forgiving than your daily routine.”

You hesitated. You were left with more questions, and seemed not to have helped him in any way. You squeezed his arm, at last, and stumbled your way back to your hammock, this time finding sleep easily. Just as you drifted, you wondered if Kazuha had done more than simply shown you a vision.

—🍁

It seemed as though despite escaping the boiling goldcoral, some tempers had remained flared overnight. You woke up to yelling from the deck, and you, along with several others, made your way outside to see what it was all about. It was still early dawn and the breeze was biting.

“Our water. Gone. I can’t believe this.” It was Juza’s voice, and he was waving his hands around at two other sailors. “What were you thinking? How could you allow this to happen?”

“It— we weren’t in our right minds yesterday! No one was!” one of them shouted.

The other one stuttered out an explanation. “I was convinced it had been p—poisoned— I was trying to protect the crew, I…”

“There could have been infinite other ways to deal with it. One of the most important things about being on a ship is to be aware of how your actions can affect everyone. Don't let your temper and sensibilities get the best of you!”

Another sailor near you cleared his throat. “Juza, weren't ya yellin’ at Cap’n Beidou ‘bout how she rejected you a few mont’s ago?

Juza’s face flamed and he turned in yours and the speaker's direction. “That — who told you about that?— but speaking of her, can someone wake her and let her know of the situation? I believe her word may have more impact than mine on you idiots”

But before anyone could turn to look for her, none other than Captain Beidou emerged from the lower decks. She was not donned in nightwear and a sleepy expression; in fact, from the way she was walking it seemed she'd been up for some time.

“About four kilometres north,” she said, “more or less. There's an island up there. It'll rain, and we can collect it in the empty barrels.” She eyed Juza. “I know how thirsty you’ve been.”

It was as if someone had covered your ears; each sailor stared at Beidou in utter silence before a blithe grin spread on her lips. A moment later, the Alcor was erupting with laughter while Juza’s face flamed once more.

“Alright, alright,” she chuckled, waving her arms at the crew. “Come on, let’s get this ship en route.”

You swept your eyes around the crowd; Kazuha’d been out of his hammock when you awoke earlier so you were surprised to be unable to spot him. So, having nothing else you were wanted to do nor that you wished to do, you returned to the world of sleep in the cabin.

You woke once again some time later to more shouting, but it seemed a different kind. You still did not see the ronin in his hammock and you wondered if he had slept at all. As you emerged to the deck you could already hear the tell-tale crashes of a storm and knew Kazuha’s prediction had been correct — though perhaps a little off time-wise. But thankfully, once on deck an island was on the horizon ahead of the Alcor and the harsher and harsher waves would not hinder you for too long.

This time, you saw Kazuha among the wet-faced sailors; you guessed from his dull expression and sopping clothes he’d been out here for hours, perhaps even since before the barrel incident. He appeared simultaneously fitful and apathetic, as if the storm was slowly shattering his ability to maintain composure. You were worried for him, but… after what he showed you the night before, you realised he must prefer to be left alone. And so you didn’t bother him, instead only making fleeting eye contact and focusing on the island in the distance.

—🍁

Despite only having had one full day at sea, the crew seemed to have lost that initial spring in their step. As each party rowed to land, the crew on the beach seemed to be simply trudging to the shelter of the forest. Even Beidou seemed to be a bit unhappy about already returning to land despite being the one who decided on it.

The island’s beaches were rough and messy, and you tried not to wonder whether those larger bits of driftwood were shipwrecks. White sand was littered with seaglass and scavenging sealife. It was nothing like the clean and well kept beaches back at your village. If, indeed, this island was at all inhabited, the habitants clearly had more things to worry about than making their beaches tourist friendly. Within the jungle-like forest, half the trees were just stumps and the other half had branches with bare spots.

The crew had hauled barrels onto the beach, with a few sailors on lightning watch. The rest of you took to the edge of the forest, where most trees were barely worthy of being called such. The whole time, you had not seen Kazuha and you began to feel worried. He could take care of himself and such, but you now knew he was going through a hard time and the idea of him being alone made your chest ache. You knew that people dealt with grief differently; you’d had enough conversations with guards back home to see the contrast in boundaries. Any one of your family members would have been seeking revenge immediately but you thought Kazuha would be more similar to those guards in that he expected his own retaliation to only make matters worse for him. Only, it appeared to be a little different for him. Because he blamed himself for what happened.

The rain did not let up for the two hours the crew spent on the island. The endless precipitation and wind was enough to make you long to be back home, where such storms could be comfortably waited out in your basement. You were, by the time the crew was regathering and placing the filled barrels back into the row boats. Juza tried to help you onto one but you blatantly refused. The waves were no less violent than before, and seeing those small boats struggle their way to head in the right direction was torture even to you.

You could not help but approach Beidou and ask why the hell she would allow her crew to go back into that torrent when it was so clearly unsafe. How could anyone in their right mind go into that without being prepared for death?

“It’s a necessary risk,” Beidou said confidently.

“But why? Don’t you have a reason? Surely the crew knows your reason, for why would they simply do as you say?”

She squinted at the beach, another bunch loading a row boat. “I’ve saved the lives of every member of my crew. They trust me and are still alive. Don’t you think that’s enough for them?”

This stumped you as you looked back to the shore. It didn’t make sense. “What about Kazuha?”

Right at that moment, a beam of lightning struck what must have been twenty or so feet in front of you and it felt like the entire world lit up and trembled. You recovered a second later and turned back to Beidou, who was frowning. She asked you to repeat what you’d said.

“Where’s Kazuha? And, have you saved his life?”

“Oh,” she laughed shortly. “He saved mine.” Beidou grinned at you and patted your wet head. “Look, the last boat is back. Don’t worry, you’ll find out everything sooner or later. It’s just, the less people know about some things the better.” She started towards the coast.

“I know about his friend. The one that died.” You spoke it loudly, only realising afterwards that perhaps it shouldn’t have been.

Beidou glanced at you for a second and acknowledged you briefly with a nod of understanding and a sorrowful glint in her purple eyes, before shouting instructions to the remaining crew. You took a deep breath as you embarked on the rowboat after her, the only assurance that you had was that the other people on the boat trusted Beidou and that it would be far worse to be left behind on this strange island than to die in this tiny boat during a storm.

You tried not to look back. One of the sailors encouraged you to focus on the Alcor, who currently looked pitiful enough to have been evacuated and on the verge of sinking. You were doing well, considering, with your eyes on the obscured sight of the Alcor’s bow. Neither you nor anyone else were prepared for the loud cracking sound at the stern of the rowboat, only looking back in time to see Captain Beidou disappear from the boat.

It was unclear whether she’d been dragged off or whether she jumped in, but now she was in the treacherous waves battling something big, dark, purple, and copious in teeth. You had no time to decipher whether it was a shark or a beast or a monster of a sea, because both it and the captain disappeared beneath the surface. Nearly everyone else on the rowboat shuffled over to search the water for her, the splashes of cold rain on your faces forgotten as brutal splashes of seawater overpowered the sensation. It had been nearly twenty seconds now, and people were calling the captain’s name.

“Ling!” A voice came from closer to the island — Beidou, and the beast, having somehow scaled the waves that far without being visible until now. “Keep rowing! I’ll be alright!”

The sailors at the paddles shouted “Aye!” and didn’t hesitate to follow her instructions. You watched with your heart racing. You weren’t an awful swimmer; had someone only fallen in, you would have had no trouble helping them back in. But something told you your skill level would only cause further trouble in this situation. There was nothing you could do.

The captainless rowboat was approaching the ship and ready to be reeled in. Beidou was nowhere to be seen. Your hands were cold, you thought distractedly. You wanted to be back in the Alcor. It was late, you wanted to sleep. You wanted to be warm. You wanted to be safe.

But Beidou was not, and you knew none of those things were possible until Beidou could be retrieved.

You saw a flash of purple, the beast, and red, Beidou’s attire. It was nearer to you than the island this time, but only for a brief moment. They were moving fast, like a horizontal bolt of lightning. And you could have sworn she was on its back.

This time when they resurfaced, you were sure you were right. Beidou had found her way onto its back, holding onto its webby ear-like fins. She was heading straight to your boat, shouting and swearing like a sailor. You could just make out what she was saying, although it was growing steadily louder as she approached.

“Anyone have a weapon on them!? I can’t kill this thing myself!”

You reached into your belt, finding the knife you always kept with you. You’d only had to use it once before, and had hoped to never again.

At the rate she was coming towards you, you weren’t sure if your aim would be precise enough.

“ENDO! INCOMING!”

She was perhaps five seconds away. It was now or never.

You lifted your arm with the knife in it, pushing it back. Ready to throw at any second.

Now. Now! But you couldn’t move your arm. What if you killed her? What if your aim was off—

You felt the spray of the wave. It slapped against the side of the Alcor next to you and hit you hard enough that you were thrown nearly off of the rowboat. It was freezing and shocking as if it was charged by the electricity of the Raiden Shogun herself. You thought you were about to get killed, and if you were being frank this was probably the worst feeling in the world.

“Nice!” Beidou’s exhilarated and victorious laughter sounded. That was a good sign — however, you hadn’t done a thing. The knife was still in your hand, clenched by your white fist.

Beidou slipped off of the back of the creature and you got a good look at it as she and a sailor heaved it into the floor of the rowboat. The most noticeable thing was, of course, the hilt of the blade sticking messily out of its face and poking out the other side of its lower half. It was roughly four feet in length, low, flat eyes and a wide mouth. It had electric purple, slimy skin, with mishaps of fins protruding in odd places. It wasn’t round, quite, but more of a tall, skinny, long fish.

Beidou hauled herself into the rowboat just as members on the boat began to lift it in. She was looking up to the railing of the Alcor with gratitude, and you followed her gaze to see the one and only Kazuha.

“You want your sword back, bud?”

He nodded simply, and she smiled, drawing it out of the fish’s face. “Boltshark,” she said. “Fast, deadly, but a little dumb. Just like my latest girlfriend.”

Sailors around you were sighing in relief at her proven well-being. As you unloaded onto the rowboat, Juza made a coarse comment meaning something about how it was good to have her safe, although it sounded a bit more like something else.

Beidou handed Kazuha his sword and he thanked her and headed straight towards the cabins without even looking at you. You started after him, but Beidou grabbed your shoulder.

“Just wait. That was his first time by Eien no Arashi Island. I think maybe he’s going to need a bit of time to recover.”

“Eien no Arashi?” Your eyes widened. “Everstorm Island?”

Beidou inhaled sharply, speaking a notch below her usual volume. “There’s a reason I didn’t tell you about that while we were on the beach. But my point is that that island is cursed and with Kazuha’s acute sense of changing winds it would have been pure torture to bring him along. Be patient with the guy, alright, Endo? The kid’s just lost his best friend.” With that, she patted your head, speaking louder again. “Right then. Want a taste of fried boltshark delight? Soon as we get out of this region the rain’ll let up and we can teach you how a real sailor’s meal’s made.”

—🍁

Beidou’s promise was fulfilled the next noon. That night the Alcor had made good time, although perhaps its crew members had not done the same in the realm of sleep. Everyone seemed an extra bit tired today, taking turns having skewers of shark meat atop luxurious bowls of rice. There was just enough meat so that everyone could have a share.

Kazuha was silent as he ate. You remembered him to be a quiet eater but you still recalled that he'd still share occasional reminiscence on the last time he had that meal or what the flavour reminded him of. But he didn't say a word, eyes on the horizon.

“Kazuha… are you okay after yesterday?” you asked him gently as you finished your own meal.

He nodded. “I appreciate your concern.”

“Kazu—”

“But whether I am okay or not is irrelevant. Y/N, are you enjoying the voyage?”

“I—I suppose, but—” you hesitated, and then placed a hand on his shoulder, “I care about you, Kazuha. It matters to me how you're doing.”

“I only meant that my ability to express my current feelings is impaired. I don't wish to trouble you with words that may mean nothing at all.”

It sounded genuine, but you still weren't sure. “If you ever do need to talk about what happened…”

He inhaled and smiled with unmistakable sorrow. “Only on the sunniest day, darling Y/N.” With that, he was leaving you to puzzle over his words again.

It seemed that he was telling you he wouldn't be able to talk about it until he'd dealt with it himself. You wished he didn't feel like he had to tough it out, even if it was part of his personality to be that way. You were not bothered by his poetic form of speaking, even now, because as long as he was expressing himself in a way that was comfortable for him. In any case you knew that whatever he was feeling right now was not the worst he'd ever been through and he could resurface eventually. It was the cost of which that worried you.

Your interpretation of his words seemed a little less on point as the skies darkened with thick clouds, bringing heavy rain. Perhaps he meant it literally in informed anticipation of the weather.

This time was somehow worse than before. Thunder boomed what seemed like every few seconds. Amidst all of this, Kazuha remained on deck, walking back and forth as if he felt like he had no choice. You, on the other hand, chose to confine yourself as best you could while still being able to watch the action. You felt a certain responsibility to keep an eye on Kazuha — or maybe, simply a personal survival instinct because he was the one who'd protected you in the past. Your mind ran back to what Captain Beidou’d said about the crew trusting her because their lives had all been saved by her at some point. You were believing it, now.

The lightning strikes were no longer as far in the distance. You could feel the vibrations in your chest and the rise and fall of the Alcor increase in intensity. The cursed feeling from Eien no Arashi was stronger and you half-wondered if you were there again. Dread, cold dread, and a foreboding excitement ran through the air and struck your cheeks. And as the lightning seemed to be hitting closer and closer to the ship, you swore you saw beams of purple and blue surrounding them as if powerful strikes from a vision-holder.

You gazed back at Kazuha. He was peering over the edge of the railing along with several other sailors whose eyes were growing large. It seemed that there must be something in the water that you could not see from where you were.

The young ronin’s head turned and he looked right at you for a moment as if to say… “don’t come near.”

You paused, considering. But then you saw the sailors running across the deck towards Beidou and shouting.

The freezing rain was a slap to your face as you stepped out from under the roof, running to where Kazuha stood. The sea was green and tempestuous, but you realised within a moment that this was not the focus of their attention.

It was the scaly, olive creature more than three-quarters the size of the ship approaching at a fast pace. It took you another moment to realise it had not one but two heads, and at the end of its webbed appendages were razor-edged claws.

This was not good.

Kazuha, beside you, was drawing his sword from his belt, face setting into a serious expression. He spoke quietly enough that only you could hear him over the storm. “Get behind me. Do you have a weapon?”

Thunder boomed again as you obeyed his calm instructions. “Yes,” you said. You’d started carrying your weapon with you since the island, and you drew it now. It was a long, gently curved blade, with a tied hilt. Closer to the guard of the sword on the surface of the blade, there was a small inscription indicative of the sword being an Endo heirloom.

You noticed Kazuha’s arm extended in front of you. His protectiveness might be a little comforting had it not been for the situation rendering it futile. The power of the sea creature rushing towards you, at a proximity supplying a wave of excess seawater drops mixed with rain splashing you. Its claws were extended right towards the two of you, and you felt just like you had when Beidou was on the Boltshark charging towards your tiny rowboat. Helpless. Incompetent.

Kazuha swung his sword in one quick, powerful motion the second you had expected to be slammed by the claw. You heard a clang as if his sword had hit another, and then you could see the green monster — catapulting backwards. It approached again, another claw swinging. Kazuha blocked this hit with another clash, and the next, and the next. His chest was heaving but his hand was steady as he prepared for the next. But now the creature was rising, water dripping from it in every angle as it rose higher and higher. Then you understood.

It had wings.

Of course it had wings.

It could not get close to you while flying thanks to the Alcor’s mast, but if nothing was done about it soon, that would no longer be a barrier.

“Open fire!”

Following Beidou’s voice, a stream of arrows flew several feet over your head towards the creature. They hit the bottom of its torso, a few sticking into its neck and face. It barely flinched, appearing to be more annoyed than anything. However, its hovering became more sloppy, and you weren’t sure whether that would be beneficial or not in the short term.

It flew higher, and then roared like a great big gurgling bear. Thunder struck again, and you fought the urge to cover your ears. It was rearing back — it was swooping towards you — suddenly, you felt a blow to your shoulders and realised that Kazuha had pushed you to the ground, facing the incoming dive alone. He held his sword tightly and flicked it out just as the monster was about to hit him.

Kazuha was thrown one way, hitting the deck with a subtle wack, and the flying creature screeched. There was nothing majestic nor even impressive about this monster save its size and its power; it was ugly, and having gotten a close look at it you thought that it must be very, very old.

Dark purple wine-like fluid was spilling out of the side of it where Kazuha’s sword had met it, and you realised it was blood. He’d gotten it right next to where one of its front appendages grew. It looked like one more slice of the same fashion would split the wing right off. The ronin was still face-up on the deck, trying to push himself into a sitting position.

You knew what you had to do.

“Kazuha!” you were shouting, despite him not being far. The storm was loud and the screeching creature was louder. “Tell me how to do it!”

“I’ve got this, stay down!”

“No, Kazuha. Tell me how!”

He looked at you, ruby eyes cloudy with desperation and guilt, and the creature stopped screeching. You both knew you had little time left.

“Plant both your feet, just like you do in sword fighting. Hold your sword in both hands. Stop looking at me, keep your eyes on it.” You followed his instructions as he continued. The creature was preparing for another strike. But so were you. “You’re going to trust your sword like it’s a part of your body. Aim, and—”

He didn’t have time to finish. Thankfully, he’d managed to remind you that your sword was truly an extension of you, of your blood, of your strength.

“Focus!”

You could have sworn you heard every single thunder strike from the whole storm echo in both ears as the creature came towards you. Your mind no longer registered the images your eyes were capturing. There were only waves, waves of electricity and claps of thunder throbbing in your mind.

You focused on what you knew. The dragon was coming at an angle from how you were standing so that you’d have little ability to reach its appendage. You’d have to move to your… right, to reach it, and — sword, now!

Your entire body felt like it was gone, and then it was all on fire as soon as you landed on the deck. You couldn’t open your eyes, it was too bright and red and purple.

“Y/N!”

“Endo!”

You heard what sounded like a rush of heavy hail and the sound cracked through your head. People were shouting.

“Hurrah!”

“The beast is slain!”

“Endo and the ronin saved us!”

Amidst all of this, for some unknown reason, you could hear Beidou say to Kazuha in a proud voice, “Thank you again, Kazuha.”

—🍁

You weren’t sure if you actually blacked out after that or were simply in a swimming state of conscious in which you couldn’t quite keep track of who was talking to you or what was happening but you were now in Beidou’s cabin, sitting at a table with a map spread on it, Kazuha sitting across for you with his head in his hands, and the voices of Beidou and Juza coming from somewhere else in the room.

“It was my fault,” Kazuha said. “I’m the reason it was here, don’t you understand?”

“Kazuha, don’t be silly! There’s no way the…” Beidou cut her voice down in volume as she continued. “There’s no way the Raiden Shogun wanted you dead so badly she’d send a Dragon of Kaminari. It was a coincidence.”

“You think it was a coincidence that your hundred-times-tried attack was in vain? The reign of the majesty of thunder’s knowledge spreads further than even my own senses. I’ve put you all in great danger. You’d be better off throwing me to my death. It would be better if I’d never come. Better if I’d been in his place.”

Juza spoke quietly. “That attack has never failed…”

You licked your lips, trying to understand. “Kazuha…”

“Y/N. Are you okay? You haven’t been able to talk since the Kaminari.”

Since the storm? Or since the creature?

“I’m fine,” you said. “Your voices seem very loud in my head, but I think it’ll go away.”

Kazuha didn’t speak, but he gave you a very significant look as if to apologise.

“You saved the day,” said Beidou, walking over into your view and flashing you two encouraging palms. “You were very brave, champ. We owe you our lives.”

“What happened to it?”

“Dead!”

“Dead as dead, when we got over,” Juza confirmed, striding to his captain’s side. “We’ve got to clean up the poisonous dragon blood all over our deck, but a little risk never hurt anyone.”

“Do we have anyone cleaning that up right now?” Beidou asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He hesitated, glanced towards the door, and then licked his lips. “I told them it had to be done.”

She raised her eyebrows, unimpressed. “Is anyone doing it?”

“On it, Cap’n.”

He left the room quickly, and Beidou sucked air in through her teeth, looking at the two of you. “We’re coming into port of Liyue not too long from now, since we’re past the Raiden Shogun’s storm barrier. Things should be smoother.”

You nodded, resting your forehead against your hand. “It’s been quite a voyage,” you observed, looking at Kazuha. He still looked guilty, and you frowned, realising something.

“Kazuha… why would the Raiden Shogun want you dead? Does it have to do with your friend?”

He appeared hesitant to answer. Beidou stared at him. “You didn’t tell them you’re…”

“The sky is clear,” said Kazuha, and he paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m a fugitive, Y/N.”

“You’re wanted?” You considered what he’d said. Clear skies. As opposed to the thunder before? Or his own state?

“I displeased her through opposition. I do not benefit eternity, so she says.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped! My family has power, they could have—”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you, dear Y/N. You’d try to help, but you’d have put your family in danger. I was hoping you’d forget about me after I left, but I quickly realised you wouldn’t stop searching for me. You truly put your heart into things; such a shame it had to be me. So…”

“That’s why you invited me along. To protect me.”

“And your family. And anyone else you might ask about me. The only way to ensure my complete disappearance would have to include intercepting your well-meant actions.”

“Kazuha… there isn’t a single other person who would look for you? Not one?”

“Not anymore,” he said, and your chest panged.

He really had nothing left. It made sense that he would run. He had nothing to fight for.

“But I put the crew of the Alcor in danger by accepting Captain Beidou's generous invitation. Even after isolating myself to protect the crew on Eien no Arashi, she sought me out when it put all in danger. The Raiden Shogun is in the thunder, her reign is inescapable.”

Was that what he’d meant?

“Really, Kazuha, this isn’t your fault in any way,” Beidou repeated. “There’s nothing our crew can’t face. And we’ve got you to help out, anyways. I’ve lasted the vision hunt this long, I see no risk of having just one more bearer aboard.”

It was heartwarming to see someone else care for Kazuha in this way. Here you were, in a room with two people who’d been complete strangers to you weeks ago. You’d met Kazuha, been enchanted by his eccentricity, and followed him onto a boat full of courageous sailors — warriors, really, perhaps stronger than the ones in Inazuma.

And you’d changed, too. You knew you had, because a week ago what would the Endo heir be doing driving their sword into the joint of a thunder dragon? Or facing a cursed island? Or joining in song with sailors while sharing fresh boltshark meat?

Who would you be when you returned?

Kazuha and Captain Beidou were still debating inconclusively what should take place when they got to Liyue Harbour. Kazuha thought he should disembark and stay away from the crew in order to decrease risk, Beidou insisted that he should do what he wanted.

“If Kazuha stays,” you interjected, suddenly, “then I will too.”

Both of them stared at you. “You mean—” Beidou said, lifting her eyebrows.

“I don’t want to go back to Inazuma. Not yet, anyways. I’ve spent long enough in one place, as someone I hold dearly would say.”

Kazuha reached across the table to take your hand in his. He had the softest, sturdiest hands, even if they’d been shaking, wrapped around a sword, only a few hours before. With a gaze he returned clearly for the first time in a few days, you realised that maybe you were a little important to him. Maybe he was really, truly grateful to have you around.

“I’ll explore Liyue. I’ve always wanted to try the Zhongyuan Chop Suey.”

Beidou chuckled. “Yes, that’s always a delight. Cheap and tasty, the best kind.”

Words from Kazuha a few days ago resurfaced in your mind, from when you’d ask him if he’d ever tell you what was going on. “Is today the sunniest day, Kazuha?”

He looked towards the window of the cabin, from which straight sunlight shone. “I believe so, Y/N.”

—🍁

The sun was reaching its nest in the horizon — which now had vast, towering mountains in its reaches — as the Alcor came into Liyue Harbour. You’d never seen a sky so yellow and orange, nor a shore so heavily industrialised. You’d heard tales of the Geo Archon building beautiful cities for his people but had never imagined this. Atop tall, brick walls were red pagoda-style constructs with angular green roofs. The elegant design, contrary to that of the quaint villages and small-scale towns you were used to, was enough to confirm the legend that it had been built by a god. No hand of man could carve such a beautiful harbour into this.

Beidou suggested that she take you and Kazuha on a tour of Liyue Harbour, take you to all her favourite food vendors and show you the best of the views. You were both up for it, and you really meant to pay attention and stay in the moment, but you found yourself distracted.

You were distracted by Kazuha. There was that look in his eyes again; not the anxiety and worry he’d had for the last few days on the ship, but the first thing you’d noticed about him all those weeks ago when you’d met him. He had a certain curiosity that was more captivating in itself than anything he was curious about. He had a wonder with the world, a joy in discovering the tiniest of new things, and above all, such a sensitivity to the meaning of things. For someone so unwilling to talk about his own emotions, he was very intuitive to the self of everyone around him.

It was as you first entered the city at his side, admiring the design of the arches overhead, that you could hear something you had not heard from him for some time. At almost a whisper, only loud enough that you could just make out what he was saying but quiet enough that you wondered whether you ought to listen, he intoned a haiku.

-

“A glowing city

a soul sees two suns set in,

life’s chapters take shift”

-

Kazuha’s gaze was on the guard at the archway’s southernmost post. The young man’s eyes were towards the darker eastern sky, staring with such marvel that you were sure he had seen something there. After hearing Kazuha’s spell of a poem, you felt worried for the guard.

But you moved on, and you would soon forget the guard. Kazuha continued to whisper poems. You came to understand that he was making observations.

He seemed so quiet, distant, but absorbed in the new world you’d come to. It made you want to smile, feeling the flow of Kazuha Kaedehara return to his mind, but it made your heart ache. Because somewhere within, thanks to the greeting of a thousand new faces with stories, it seemed as if he was finally allowing introspection to his own guilt, his own pain, his own story he’d violently put a pause on in order to preserve what he thought he should be.

This was your own observation. You hadn’t been in touch enough to make the connections and guesses about any single person in the city of Liyue, but looking at Kazuha, you couldn’t help but care enough to wonder.

Was this what he did? Was this what he loved?

Caring for strangers?

After an evening to night filled with life, which reminded you of the gathering before you left in spirit but the way you received the spiritedness being far different, it was time for a rest. You expected a long one. Beidou assured you that you could sleep as long as you wanted here at the home of her friend, because the Alcor would not be returning to the seas for a few days. She told you that you could change your mind about staying in the morning if you liked, but you assured her that you were certain.

You didn’t know Liyue. You didn’t know its people, its food, its charm. But you wanted to. You wanted to get to know this land. You’d been in one village, in one house on an island for long enough.

It was time to start asking questions.

Kazuha came to wish you a good sleep. He seemed tired; he’d seemed that way for days, but this time… this time it was the satisfied sort of tired. You were so glad he was happy here. Everything was okay, finally.

“I’ll be sleeping in the room next door,” he told you, “if you need anything.”

“Sure,” you said. “Thank you. Thank you for everything, Kazuha.”

He smiled at you, like a sigh of relief. His ruby gaze drifted to the paper in your lap.

“I’m just finishing up a letter home. I’ll give it to Beidou in the morning. Do you… want to read it?”

He nodded, sitting on the side of your bed. You handed him the parchment and he took his time reading through it. When he finished, he said the last line out loud in a gentle voice. “‘Till we meet again, Endo Y/N.” He peered at you for a moment without saying anything. “I’m happy for you,” he said. “I’m really happy for you.”

You sat up further, taking the letter and then taking his hand. “I guess I just needed a funny old voyage with Kazuha.”

“As does everyone,” he agreed with a small grin.

“Kazuha,” you said.

“Yes?”

“Will you and I be together forever?”

He smiled. “If we think about each other always, we shall.”

“So that’s a no?”

He lifted his eyes. He always seemed to know exactly where the windows were in a room. It was something that made you love him more. “The wind will continue to change in ways I cannot predict.”

There was that wistful look again. You had an intention of saying something now, but you were fully aware that it would have no effect. In the ways of the wind, it had no power. Still, you had to say it.

“What if I love you?”

Kazuha’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then perhaps one can hope the wind will be in your favour.”

You felt your heart drop. It was the rejection he wouldn’t give you before.

You tried to remind yourself that he wasn’t the only reason you’d come along, but it still hurt.

However, just as you had convinced yourself of this, you felt his hand on your cheek. Your eyes met, pausing. A sparkle lay behind his, and past that — you could not tell. You could never tell.

Kazuha’s eyes shut, and he met your lips with his. You allowed it, one of your own hands grasping weakly at the fabric of his shirt’s chest. He pressed his forehead against yours, inhaling deeply.

“It’s good that you’re happy,” said Kazuha, pulling away.

You longed for the moment to return already.

“Good night, dear Y/N,” he spoke as he left you and the room.

“See you in the morning,” you said after him.

You were confused — exhilarated — curious. You hoped that tomorrow morning would come quickly, setting aside your completed letter and falling back into the pillow.

—🍁

You slept long. It might have been because of the comfortable bed, or the loss of the rise and fall of ocean waves, or perhaps even the calming sensation you received after last night. But you woke up feeling a bit drowsy and very excited for the days to come.

The first thing you would do today was give Beidou the letter to your parents. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and reached to your bedside to pick it up.

It took you a moment to realise the envelope in your hand was not the one you’d addressed to your parents. No, this one had your name on it in a thin cursive, and it was sealed with a wax maple leaf stamp.

You glanced towards your doorway, wondering how recently this had been put here. Then, you slid your fingers into the flap and snapped the envelope open. You could feel a slight panic in your chest, knowing that there were only a select few people in Liyue who would ever give you a letter. There were two pieces of parchment folded three times, and you saw your name at the top of the first, and the date, which was last night.

-

Dearest, bravest Y/N of the Endo clan,

-

How did you sleep, my friend? I hope this letter finds you well-rested and in bright, glorious morning daylight. I suppose I should begin by mentioning that The Alcor’s visit to Liyue was shortened and Captain Beidou will have the ship part from docks shortly after dawn — it’s likely that by the time you’re reading this, it’s far beyond the Sea of Clouds. The ship must join the rest of the Crux’s fleet, and they have no time to spare after tonight. All is well, no need to worry. This is simply what the lives of sailors look like. They shan’t spend long in one place.

I’m going along. I’d planned to, but I had expected to have a few more days in the land of Rex Lapis. But I need time, I think. I need time before I start again.

You lovely soul. I’m grateful for the time you spent with me, the hours you worried for me, the swords you clutched for me. I’ve watched from afar for both of our sakes. For me, because I’m in a vulnerable state of mind right now and must protect myself from rash decisions. And for you, to protect you from those rash decisions and because I care for you, I wanted to protect you from my burdens..

I showed you the loss of my companion, but I never did explain how it happened. I could not speak of it. But my friend lost a duel with the Raiden Shogun. He fought for the people of Inazuma.

His motive was good, but I still wonder whether it was worth the loss of his life. Now, all that we have left of him is the memory of what he stood for. And I, the treasured memories of his companionship.

Dear friend, do not do the same unless you truly believe it is a worthy cause. Treasure your life. Treasure the gift that nature has given you. To feel the breeze, to perceive the colours of the world. I pray that, when you exit the house in which you’re staying, you’ll not feel sad without me. Look at the trees. Do you see the red leaves?

The wind changes.

I bought a satchel for you at the souvenir shop. For myself, I find all I need in the taste of wine, the songs in the trees, and the blade I carry from my homeland. Keep your own blade close, dear friend. But do not use it unnecessarily. Fill your bag with things that you hold dearly. The land of Liyue can provide if you search. I encourage you to search.

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Blooming traveller,

Your journey begins anew,

with a heart of faith.

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Wander, my friend. From this day forth, learn the beauty of the unknown.

I shall return. I shall return following the day I face what I ran from. I cannot imagine it now. But it will come, and if I do return and you are nowhere to be found, I shall be glad for you.

Thank you for being an honest friend. Thank you for being transparent about how much you care for me. You gave me strength during my hardest moments, and you saved my life in the face of a beast. You have more courage than I, and I know you will face more beasts with more courage.

I have many more things I would like to say. But it is not the time.

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Farewell, and may only good come to pass on the road ahead.

Your friend,

Kazuha Kaederhara

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You lifted your thumb to your eye, wiping a single tear that had escaped. You now noticed the red, sturdy-looking bag on the floor next to your bed.

“Fill your bag with things that you hold dearly,” the letter had said.

You folded the parchment up again, slid it back into the envelope, and neatly packed it into the middle pocket. Then, you noticed something at the bottom of the bag, and you reached in for it.

Between your fingers you held a thin, dewy maple leaf. It was identical in stature to the ones growing outside the window.

It was the colour of his eyes.

His eyes that had seen change and death and pain and all the beauty in the world, but still craved more. His eyes were afraid, anxious, and tired, but the only thing they would remain forever was crimson red. Even if all else faded.

You put it back in the bag, and stood from your bed.

You faced the window. Sunlight did not shine through, but it was there, bright as ever, outside this house.

On the sunniest day.

But the sun would always be shining behind the clouds.

—🍁

note. there it is. at last, finished. why did this take me 6 months to write? i'm not really sure. but i worked very hard to make sure it did get written because i thought kazuha deserved at least that much. i always go way too heavy on the symbolism but oh man i was having a good time with it. and, come on, it's kazuha, i have to get a little poetic now and then.

reblogs are very, very appreciated, if you did enjoy it.

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