Tragic - Blog Posts
The Monster Bride by devilgirl4116
A Horror story I made about a girl who’s Happily Ever After was cursed from the start... pls check it out!
What do you mean “funny”? This shit is heartbreaking
just remembered that i won’t be having gay sex on valentine’s day
After finishing song of achilles within 2 days.. I can say I don't feel sad..
I feel empty.
Instead of the ache within that we feel after reading some good angst, I feel as though a part of my soul just died.
I don't feel sad at the tragedy..
but the tears that threaten to escape say otherwise.
I keep thinking about Arthur's regression at the end of Season 2 and then into Season 3. I keep thinking about how victims of trauma tend to get worse once they escape their traumatic situation. How their body and mind start to crack and shake under the weight of the horrors, now safe enough to escape the survivorship mindset but now forced to endure the fallout.
I keep thinking of how hard Faroe's death hit Arthur. How his guilt and grief were so intense that he wanted to kill himself, so low that he drank himself into a stupor for who knows how many years to just dull the pain. I keep imagining how hard it was to pull himself out of that, to work with Parker and find a new meaning in life, to walk away from his guilt of killing his daughter, and instead to help people.
(I keep thinking of how Arthur finds a vial of alcohol in the Dreamlands. How he sniffs it and recoils in disgust.)
I keep thinking of how long it took for Arthur to build himself back up from his lowest point, to tuck the guilt of Faroe in the deepest corner of his mind just so that he has enough room to breathe, to live, to be a better person. (And yet, Faroe is every facet of his life. It's his first memory in Season One, when he plays Faroe's Song, when he doesn't even remember his own name. It's the last name on his lips when he dies on that boat. It's his only memory when John is torn away from him.) I keep thinking about how Arthur is consciously repressing her every second of every day just so that he can keep going.
And then John pushes, and asks, and asks again. And finally, after almost dying twice with this entity, after surviving time and time again, he thinks he can trust him. He thinks he can share his deepest secret, to pull open the wound he keeps stitching over to protect himself. How he risks feeling the grief he's suppressed for years to trust someone. I keep thinking how John seizes it and, because he is ancient and young and inexperienced, childlike in his tantrums and his fears of responsibility and consequence, he uses it as a weapon the moment he's backed into a corner. I keep thinking of how not only the trust is torn away from Arthur, but how his wound is stretched and torn, and not only does his guilt and grief come back, but it's like a tidal wave that he cannot suppress this time. He's opened that wound and John has pried it wider, and now Arthur can't shut it. He survives in those pits, but she is all he thinks of. He escapes those pits, and ("Goodbye, Faroe.") she is all he thinks of. He slits his throat and she's all he thinks of.
He enters at icy cabin (a small gurgle, a bundle of blankets in his arm, a warm hum rumbling in his chest as he lulls his whole World to sleep) and he thinks of her to keep going.
And then Yellow enters, a blank slate, a John before he was John, and the pain is too fresh. This is the thing that tortured him. This is the thing that starved him. This is the thing who asked who his daughter was, and when he told him, the thing called him a killer. John and Yellow and the King are all the same in that moment, and Arthur's too fucked up and traumatized to separate them tangibly, as much as he insists that he can. His hatred grows and grows, all from himself, until it bleeds into Yellow, and he remakes this entity in his image, in his self-pitying hatred.
So when Yellow finally calls him a monster (and Arthur knows, he's called himself that the moment he saw the water spill from the bathtub onto the tile below), Arthur holds it close to his chest, and becomes it.
devistating news to report:
Leaving phone in different room while studying dramatically increases productivity focus and ability
All the NSFW art plaguing my feed has taken a turn for the worse. There's *men* now - kissing women! Disgraceful, my yuri heart can't take it anymore
(ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻
honestly, my favourite way of seeing the picture of dorian gray is a sick love triangle.
- basil loves dorian with all of his soul and he lets it devour him. henry loves basil in a sick “you’re my only equal” type of way, and dorian is completely submissive to lord henry.
basil’s love for dorian is the emotional centre of the picture of dorian gray - he’s completely consumed and lost in the tragedy of unrequited love and he feels it so much - that same love ends up killing him. the entire time with basil, his love is prominent. no, it isn’t just adoration and obsession. he worships him, but also loves him. he is constantly warning dorian and he never pushed him to do anything, he always looked out for dorian and wanted him to be happy, leading to his death. he was devoured by him. completely. he couldn’t paint without him, he couldn’t look at dorian without trembling. basil’s emotional character believed loving dorian was worth the pain. and that ends up murdering him.
henry’s love for basil is the most interesting to me. lord henry seems to crave influence over others around him, and all are influenced by him, all but basil. basil argues, disagrees, and even when henry mocks him, he still listens. he still cares for basil even through a twisted way. he cares for him because basil is the only person who wasn’t influenced. his only equal. the only one he can rely on arguing back and standing against him. basil is a long-term friend and unlike most of henry’s phases with friendships, they seem to still be close and constantly close. as soon as basil starts describing dorian and his obsession with him, henry doesn’t seem pleased and is eager to change dorian. and he does just that. he pushes basil’s buttons constantly because he knows basil cares and will react with emotion, unlike dorian who becomes increasingly detached. henry wants emotion because he lacks it. he needs someone who is devoured and powered by emotion because he cannot feel emotions anymore. he needs someone to contrast him. he enjoys seeing the emotional reaction over dorian’s. if he was ever able to be emotionally honest and vulnerable, he would do it with the one man he knows will be honest and emotional with him. he enjoys basil because basil is the reality. he’s there, he thinks what he thinks and he won’t be shaped by henry. dorian is the muse. easily shaped and formed. the tragedy is that he unfortunately prefers control - not connection. that’s why he picks dorian. he knows he’s better with control and he prefers the control because of it. basil forces a connection, he doesn’t like being controlled and won’t let henry control him.
dorian is young, naïve and doesn’t think for himself. henry steps into his life, and he immediately changes - when henry didn’t actually need to do much. dorian seems to submit to henry easily and very quickly. he was seduced and deeply influenced. he quotes henry constantly, he acts independent while also submitting to henry and obeying him. henry’s voice is constantly leading him - even when henry is spewing a thousand lies that even he doesn’t believe.
this makes the triangle so beautiful. none of the love is balanced. no one is giving back what they’re given. it’s unbalanced, it’s bound to fall apart and it’s dangerous. dorian kills the one man who loved him, dorian falls for lies, henry forgets about the one person who cared, henry gets lost in control when he could’ve had vulnerability, basil is killed by the person he adored with all of his soul and that same person he loved was influenced by one of the people basil cared about the most. tragic, but oscar wilde knows how to write a brilliant dynamic.