Depression is actually pretty darn pathetic. Depression has very little power against you IF it can’t find a worthy opponent to oppose you. You give it a challenge so the only way it can really influence you and deal some damage is if depression gets you to fight yourself. Don’t be your enemy, be your friend. Be on your team. It’s not you against your broken body, it’s you and your body against a manipulative monster disease. Learn how to love yourself and you will want to fight depression even harder when you realize that you are actually a cool person and you actually want to live. There is power in truth and living in it. Self-hate is based on lies, and you lived in those lies by beating yourself up with them. Now try the truth of self-love and start being nicer to yourself. No, it's not easy to get out of self-hate, but make the choice to try and understand yourself and take it a step at a time and then you will be surprised that you actually like some of the parts of yourself that you didn't think you did. As a Christian, I say God bless and may you receive more than you think you will. Depression may be an enemy you will have to continually face, but its shadow is bigger than itself and your shadow doesn't even begin to reveal the greatness of you.