Tw Mental Breakdown - Blog Posts

So I was talking the other day about my time in the hospital and I was joking about it because how else do you cope with something so overwhelming.

“Hah yeah it’s been a while not that I miss it, the cameras, the restraints,” I think for a moment “ it’s been a year” I say quietly. My smile fades “It’s been a year” I know I wasn’t there as long as the others and I know I’ve since had a better experience in another hospital and I know that I lied my way out. But it’s been a year.

And I didn’t think I’d make it another year.

Hot Take

Steven is in hospital for emergency psychiatric treatment. If his mental state is really as bad as it seems, it's probably deteriorating at a pace where it is unlikely to be controlled without drastic intervention. He's having flashbacks, for God’s sake.

There are a number of reasons why a person can be hospitalised in this situation:

They require medication for their mental state, and need to be kept under observation to make sure there are no adverse effects

They are so unwell that they are unable to control their responses, and may be a danger to themselves or others

They may be suicidal or show suicidal tendencies

I feel like Rebecca wouldn’t go quite that far, but given that the latest leak that more or less involved Steven saying that he didn’t want to live anymore, I wouldn’t put it past her.

I was once hospitalised due to a mental health breakdown. I hated it, and I have trauma from the expirience. I only hope that Steven manages to avoid the worst of it.

Also... Why is he in a boat? It it the H.M.S Residual Trauma?

- Pasta

Ps. Sorry for not posting much, school went back and proceeded to kick me in the ass.

Someone really needs to come and freaking control me cause right now I'm really losing it and I feel like a goddamn pig

I've been feeling really useless lately and I think I'm very close to rock bottom

I can't do anything right and I'm so frustrated with myself. I don't know how long I can keep this going

I've failed myself so much these last 3 weeks.. I've been eating without looking at the calories and giving up even trying to limit what I've been eating, making these dumb excuses for myself.

I feel unbelievably disgusting and fat. So angry at myself for letting it get to this point.

This is the time that something needs to happen, because I know that I won't be able to hold on like this for long.

American Psycho Cutscene Idea

Based on a convo with me and my moot @annabellelee1849 so enjoy I guess

So I was listening to O’ Superman, Mitskis why didn’t you stop me? and Melanies Sippy cup I couldn’t help but think this might’ve been a scene in the book but also a cut scene from a movie that might’ve been in the directors cut.

It starts with Patrick killing and dismembering a prostitute and after he’s done he’s on barbiturates and soon he tries to stay awake but he accidentally falls asleep

And he soon wakes up in his childhood living room and he’s now 8-10 years old again. He finds himself wondering why he’s here when his mom comes in and asks how her baby boys doing. He asks his mom what he’s doing here but she just doesn’t hear him and gives him a sweet treat and asks how his day has been and soon she just looks at him while still smiling eyes wide. But it’s not her smile he remembers. It’s uncanny and lifeless at best but he just asks what she’s doing. It’s then she asks why he murdered that girl. It’s then Patrick soon cries and tells his mom he didn’t mean to but his mom keeps asking and it’s when he screams I don’t know he wakes up.

But he can’t move. And no matter how hard he tries he can’t move. It’s then he sees a shadow in the corner of his room and he threatens the intruder but he soon hears a voice come out of him. Saying it missed him. Patrick recognizes it as his mothers.

But it sounds distorted and way too broken to be hers. Like a broken vinyl.

But he still tries to call out to her.

And when his mom walks towards him Patrick sees that she’s not looking alive anymore.

She looks dead. But not like a rotting body that he’s used to seeing. It’s more like a fresh corpse at a morgue. And no matter what she comes and cradles his head closer and calls him her baby boy no matter what. And it’s there Patrick begins silently crying while this corpse of his mom wipes them away and says it knows he didn’t mean to kill that poor girl

And it’s then Patrick wakes up.

He looks around breathing heavily and soon can’t sleep now so he goes to his living room to watch the slasher films he’s rented but

He still wonders

If that was his mom. Or was it just his hallucinations