Tw - Blog Posts
I'm just posting this to see if other people have the same feels as me.
Possible tw: dermatillomania, self harm
Sometimes when I don't have anything to pick at I end up wanting to make something to pick at. I know it's a terrible idea and I haven't done it and I don't plan on it because I know it's bad. But I still want to pick bad enough to think that. It might be a mix of self harm related intrusive thoughts and dermatillomania brain.
I just want to know if anyone else has had any similar thoughts because it's making me nervous. I hope all of you are doing alright and please be safe <3
As much as realistically don’t see Percy doing drugs or drinking, it will be unfortunately something I’m probably going to incorporate into my fics because the idea and angst of it is too hard to resist.
I’d say it starts when finally his brain starts to process his trauma, and I mean like all of it. It doesn’t start on purpose, maybe he stumbles across it on accident. But then he gets his first few tastes and there’s no turning back.
Naturally he’d hate it, he’d hate his reliance on alcohol and drugs (I dont see Percy ever drinking Beer because of Gabe, when he drinks, he drinks to forget.) and he’d probably start isolating himself and ignoring people simply because he’s scared. He doesn’t know what type of drunk he is and he doesn’t want to find out.
Eventually it sort of spirals from a way of coping to a form of self harm in a way. Because his body forces himself to remember regardless.
And eventually he’d get sober, he’d never touch alcohol again. Because at the end of the day, Percy is supposed to be the one who breaks the cycle. I personally HC Percy as a very intense stress smoker (cigarettes) so I don’t think that habit would go away.
But just the idea of it really gets me lol and I’m surprised I don’t see more of it (probably because this type of thing is typically given to Jason Grace)
The fact that every morning after a hangover he may look in the mirror and see Gabe staring back.
Maybe he’d start smoking the same brand of cigs that Gabe did.
Maybe someone tried to help him and he just got really aggressive and angry.
Plus people who are abused as a child are more likely to engage in alcohol and drugs.
Also let’s not even get started into canon Percy, with not only the drinking but the drug side? Taking drugs in order to get some sort of high because his body craves an adrenaline rush and sparring with campers and killing monsters isn’t enough anymore. Hes become so addicted to the rush of adrenaline he can’t live without it? Idk man.
Anyway I guess that’s sort of an explanation? Or something as to why Percy will commonly be doing things like that and why it may seem so ooc and why I say “fuck it” and do it anyways.
Of course I have other characters who have bad coping mechanisms that may or may not be in most of my stuff. Like Annabeth who I’m sort of giving compulsive helping and Jason with his hero complex lol.
Anyways… thank you for coming to my TedTalk lmao.
I realised i have never drawn isaac lahey and i panicked
teen wolf thingie
(it's also on my society6...if-if you care - www.society6.com/xxdanaja )
merry xmas my secret kid brogitsune may the odds be ever in your favor ! yes you're getting lousy art as a gift this is part 1 - sterek ! :D
Facts :3 (Get off my blog if you support/defend Dream..)
Im sorry you can call me obsessed or whatever for not shutting up about dream but jesus christ he is DISGUSTING.
Moaning over a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL.
COMMENTING ON HER BOOBS.
SAYING YOU WANT TO “FILL HER UP”?
He was TWENTY. She was SIXTEEN.
DREAM IS A FUCKING FREAK.
I feel so, so fucking horrible for this girl and any other victims of dream, and any victim of grooming / child predators in general.
Dream is absolutely fucking disgusting and so are you if you defend him.
I truly do not understand how anybody can support or defend him anymore.
TW suicide
Back in april my uncle khs and it did not surprise me. Some months before that I spotted passively suicidal behavior in what I've been told about him because I recognised the pattern from my own experiences. I even said the thought "he doesn't care anymore" out loud to my mother but I never expected him to become active. Like I did not see it coming but it did not surprise me at all. But everyone else and his immediate circle was shocked for some reason. He was in his late 50s and had medical problems which became worse due to his his apathy towards them. I was not close to him and he seemed far away from even his immediate family with whom he lived with, which his increasing drinking problem did not help. This spiral of male loneliness seems so impenetrable, what could have I, a distant, queer 20 year old nephew (also suicidal) done to change the mind of a stubborn old man raised into toxically masculine society? I, in a sense, predicted my uncle's suicide and I do not know what to do with this information.
bill x y/n art what the heck
Guys I think I have a problem it’s called billcipherobsessionitus and it’s been going strong for about over 3 years or so help where do I go like what doctor should I see for this like. somebody recommended I go to a hospital called AO3 and make an appointment with a doctor named Mrs. Janitor C.AI and get a subscription for Wattpad but idk what do you guys think
TW: prescription side effects..? Idk if that’s a TW but I’ll say it anyway
So like I’ve discovered a double edged side effect of sertraline. If u forget to take it it reminds u but it reminds you with a feeling I can best describe as:
-chromatically aberrating for 0.5 seconds.
- your brain goes “!!”
-softest bio emp
-like when u get vertigo and the world tilts but there’s no tilting involved
-astral projecting out of ur body by a centimeter for a second
-your brain to body signal lagged
I mentioned this before, but I truly believe that maintaining credibility is important. I think spreading misinformation, exaggerations, and falsehoods does not help any cause. Sometimes it is very tempting to just hit that reblog button and share that terrible thing people…
What White People REALLY Mean When They Talk About Ferguson | Feminspire
Every 28 hours a black person is killed by a police officer. Yet another unarmed black person, 18 year old Mike Brown, was killed by officer Darren Wilson on August 9th in Ferguson, Missouri. People in Ferguson are taking to the streets, demanding justice and braving excessive and cruel force from local police and the National Guard. Those of us who wish we could be in Ferguson, but can’t be, are protesting, tweeting, writing, donating, screaming, crying, or whatever we can do to process the fact that black people are still subhuman in 21st century America, and to process the fact that white people still don’t understand that the murder of black folks at the hands of law enforcement is a serious problem in the country.
By now I’m sure you’ve seen, heard, or talked with white people who don’t seem to understand that Ferguson is indeed about race, or that the response to protesters is beyond excessive. So I’ve put together this guide to deciphering white proverbs about Ferguson, which should come in handy the next time you’re talking to a white person (or anyone for that matter) who just doesn’t get it.
1. What they say: Stop jumping to conclusions/we don’t know all the facts about the shooting/this isn’t about race.
What they mean:
They deny the centuries-long history of violence committed against black people by the state, police, and the criminal justice system. Or, they believe this violence ended long ago and no longer affects us today.
They believe that black people should delay their reactions until the case is closed, which could take months or even years, and that we are irrational for being angry before then.
They are more concerned with the possibility of a black man doing something that deserved his execution, than the reality that a black man is now lying in a morgue.
They would never say something like this about violence committed by a black person (especially against a white person). White people have a history of jumping to conclusions and arresting or killing black people when suspected of wrongdoing. (Emmett Till never got to explain himself before he was killed in 1955, and more recently, nor did Eric Garner or John Crawford.)
2. What they say: The protesters are violent and looting. They are destroying their own town. They should be peaceful and cooperate with police.
What they mean:
They are prioritizing petty crimes over the killing of a human being.
By conflating the looters with the peaceful protesters, they conflate resistance to racism with violence and destruction, and perpetuate the stereotype that black people are inherently violent.
They ignore protesters who protected stores from looting, and helped store owners clean up.
They excuse excessive police force used against peaceful demonstrators.
They forget about times when white people have rioted, such as Penn State students after Joe Paterno’s firing.
They deny the right of oppressed people to be angry about oppression. Centuries ago, they would have probably been against slave rebellions.
3. What they say: He robbed a convenience store. He was resisting or fighting with the officer. He smoked marijuana. He can’t possibly be a victim because he wasn’t innocent.
What they mean:
Black men deserve to die if they rob a few dollars worth of goods from a store.
Black men deserve to die even if they have their hands up.
Black men deserve to die if they resist arrest or defend themselves.
Black men deserve to die even if the gun they are holding is just a toy.
Black men deserve to die even if they are unarmed and doing normal things that white people do.
Black men deserve to die.
Meanwhile, white folks can proudly stroll through a Target store with assault rifles hanging off their shoulders, knowing that they will not get shot by a police officer. White people who refuse to pay grazing fees in Nevada can defend their assumed right to do so by pointing guns at federal agents without fear of being shot at. White terrorists and white mass murderers get taken away in police cars instead of being shot (not to mention sympathy from the media.) White people even write childrens books about how proud they are to use their white privilege to openly carry a gun without being mistaken for criminals. Must be nice.
4. What they say: The local police and National Guard are just doing their jobs.
What they mean:
Taking several days to release the name of the officer who killed Brown is acceptable.
The history of racist practices in the Ferguson police department is acceptable.
The police department releasing an unrelated video of a robbery that may or may not have involved Mike Brown, in an attempt to assassinate his character, is acceptable.
Failing to immediately interview witnesses, arrest Darren Wilson, and otherwise conduct a proper investigation, is acceptable.
Leaving a dead body on the street for several hours in the scorching heat, while family and neighbors look on, is acceptable.
Using military-like force, including tear gas, which is illegal to use at wartime, against peaceful protesters, is acceptable.
Intimidating the news media is acceptable.
Police ignoring proper protocol when it comes to black people and black neighborhoods, is acceptable.
Mistreatment of black people at the hands of the police, is acceptable.
5. What they say: Nothing at all.
What they mean:
They don’t care, and they think this doesn’t affect them.
Or perhaps, they aren’t sure what to do. (In this case, they should read this.)
This is what white people don’t understand about Ferguson: It’s not just about one black kid and one white police officer. This is about our place in this country, and in our country’s history. It’s about our 400 year long struggle to be seen and valued as human beings worthy of dignity and life.
So when someone says any of these things about Ferguson, they are saying that black lives don’t matter, that we don’t have a right to get angry, and that we should not resist oppression.
But we will.
We encourage you to share the link to this rather than reblogging the entire post (since this is frequently updated and we want to minimize the spread of outdated info!): bit.ly/FergusonAEM
As the folks from Sexplanations say: stay curious! Know that this is just one drop in the bucket. We encourage you to do your own research and follow the links so you can make your own informed opinion.
I'm not from America so I don't get what happened to Brown...
Michael Brown, described by his teachers as a ‘gentle giant’, was an eighteen year old who had just graduated high school, saying to one of his friends ‘we made it' and telling him that “he wasn’t going to end up like some people on the streets. He was going to get an education. He was going to make his life a whole a lot better."
On the 9th of August, 2014, a Saturday, Michael and a friend, Dorian Johnson, whose account can be seen in the link, were walking down Canfield Drive to Michaels grandmothers house when a police vehicle cut them off.
According to Johnson, the police officer, named Darren Wilson "approached us, and as he pulled up on the side of us, he didn’t say ‘freeze,’ ‘halt,’ or nothing like we were committing a crime. He said, ‘Get the f—- on the sidewalk!’ I told the officer we were not but a minute away from the destination.”
The official reason the police officer approached them was because of jaywalking, which was stated by Police Chief Jackson: "Police Chief Thomas Jackson said Wilson did not initially make a connection between the robbery and Brown … Wilson stopped Brown and a friend because "they were in the middle of the street, blocking traffic," Jackson said."
What happened next is of contention - witnesses have their accounts as do the police and Darren Wilson - but what can be certain is that there was a physical struggle between Michael and Wilson, as there was Michaels DNA found inside the car
Wilson states "punches started flying" but I find it odd that a 289 pound, 6’4 man in his prime didn’t create more damage to Wilsons face. It’s odd that there is hardly any swelling when a man who is 80 pounds heavier than Wilson, and has the advantage of being outside the car, is punching the officers face so much so that Wilson felt like his life was threatened, no?
Brown was also UNARMED, as he reportedly stated numerous times to Officer Wilson.
The first shot was then fired, smashing the glass and Michael began to flee. At some point, Michael was hit in the arm and turned to face Wilson, his hands up and saying "don’t shoot" before being shot a collective six times, with one fatal shot to the head, including the eye.
Wilson estimated that "Brown ran 20-30 feet away from the car and then charged another 10 feet back towards him." But Brown died 150 feet away from the car. It’s impossible that he charged another 10 feet.
Wilson describing the altercation before Michael was killed: “The only way I can describe it, it [Michael] looks like a demon, that’s how angry he looked. He comes back towards me again with his hands up.” It. He called Michael ‘it’. And a demon. Does that not give some indication to what Wilson was thinking when he killed Michael?
@TheePharoah then tweets “I JUST SAW SOMEONE DIE OMG” with a link to a picture of Wilson standing over Browns body, but I will not link that.
Browns body was left on the street for 4 and a half hours. No ambulance was called. The police didn’t even let Michaels mother see the body of her son. She later talked to reporters at the scene.
In the later afternoon, this image of Browns stepfather went viral on twitter, holding a sign saying ‘FERGUSON POLICE JUST EXECUTED MY UNARMED SON’
Antonio French provided coverage via twitter and vine when no one else was in the hours after Michaels death (x) (x) (x) (x)
Peaceful Protests occurred in the following days on the streets of Ferguson. The protestors were blasted with tear gas and were ran out of the streets by a militarised police force.
A no fly zone was put into place, the media were forced to leave, and protests were banned by the police force in the next few days.
August 15th, Ferguson Police Dept. release a tape they brand as Michael Brown robbing a local convenience store by stealing $48 worth of cigarillos. Police didn’t include this footage which shows Michael Brown paying for the cigarillos. Wilson also didn’t complete an incident report, which is against the law.
Store owner states through his lawyer that he, nor his employees, called 9/11 about the ‘petty theft’ and that the Ferguson Police Dept. had requested the tape days after Michael was murdered.
Store owner attorney states: “Whatever the police are looking for on the surveillance tape, has nothing to do with what went on in the street.”
November 24th: After nearly four months of paid leave, in which time a fundraiser for Darren Wilson raised over $400,000, Wilson got married, a Grand Jury came to their decision to not indict Darren Wilson. Here is the transcript for those sittings, including every piece of evidence used. Here are all the ‘facts’. They had been hearing evidence since August 20th. A Grand Jury’s decision to not indict is extremely rare, about 0.006% of cases aren’t indicted as of 2010
Some other interesting links: Conflict of interest with the Prosecuting Attorney that hints at bias, the rarity of a Grand Jury not indicting, leader of the KKK admits to off the record contact with the police, Anonymous has evidence that Darren Wilson has a connection to the KKK, Darren Wilson racially profiled before he killed Michael Brown
If you want to help, there are a variety of ways you can: this campaign for bail for ferguson protestors, change.com petition against police violence, sign this ‘we the people’ petition, sign this petition to take the case to the supreme court, donate to Ferguson library which is open despite the schools being closed, watch livestreams and by spreading information of what’s going on in Ferguson - talk about DeAndre Joshua, 20, who was killed in the riots yesterday while in his car. Talk about Michael Brown. Spread information about the protests, about how to protect yourself from tear gas, about their innate human rights. Support the protestors, and support the black community.
I know I’m missing stuff, so if there is anything else I’m missing, or you think should be added, please do. If anything is found to be offensive, please message me and I’ll make changes to the links.
Sleep...
I just want to sleep sleep forever. drift off with the waves as they meet the shore where I lay...lie...gods i hate this language. nothing but words. words don’t fix people. i know i shouldnt feel this way but i have been so broken down and crumpled up that i dont know how to feel otherwise. and its all still my fault. im still the one to blame. Im still the one too selfish to pay attention to those around me how can I even begin to look at them and see their feelings and hurts when all I can see are mine. standing out in such sharp relief in front of me, as if the sun was pouring through an open window behind them so that all I could see was their forms. I can’t feel, I can’t think, I can’t hear anything in this pit. Im sorry. Im sorry Im not strong enough on my own. i hope Hipper’s solution...
My innocence was taken by hands no bigger than my own, another child who’s eyes swam blue with cold apathy. She couldn’t have known what she was doing was wrong, for I recognize now, the same things were being done to her. How can I raise my fists to the one who hurt me when she had no innocence to begin with, and I had something to lose. She was damned from the start.
That was when I met him. My undoing. He was like a father to me, but I was not like a daughter to him. He knew this. He knew what I saw when I looked into his eyes, and he did not look into mine, drawn into the gaps between my blouse’s buttons like black holes for morality. I was always to blame for his touches. I had always thought of myself as a girl, as a person, but really, I was a place. A place for innocence to die.
♡🔪Yandere Floofty Headcanons ˖⁺ ☁⋆💌
(I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm bad at portraying characters correctly)
TW: Mentions of murder, blood, and other stuff of that sort
If Floofty grew feelings for you (which probably won't happen) they won't show that they do, instead, they'd just ask for your assistance a lot more frequently
It wouldn't be "love at first sight", it would be.. "their limbic system expanding the hypothalamus and nucleus accumbens the moment they laid their corna covered oculus' on your monstrously charming face"
At the beginning, they would be disgusted at the idea of being interested in another living thing, their science comes first before any emotional connections However.. they just fell deeper.. and deeper.. And there was no turning back.
They'd be very possessive and would constantly demand you stand right next to them at all times, or at least somewhere they can clearly see you
They would keep you out of harm's way, even if it's for the sake of science And if you show a dislike for them testing on themselves, they'll step away from the dangerous experiments and avoid experiments that involve a grumpus to test
They have no immediate reaction to you conversing with another grumpus, they would try to get you to come with them while side eyeing the other grumpus If you disagree, they'll start to suspect something is awry
If they notice you spending time with a specific grumpus for long periods of time and cutting time with them to hang out with the grumpus, they'll quickly become threatened by the other grumpus and see them as a liability
They don't immediately kill them, that would be a waste, they would rather.. erase them
When focused on the grumpus, you will see more emotion in Floofty - they will smile at you when they see you and occasionally give you compliments
Once they have everything planned, they take the grumpus somewhere to "have a talk" with them This is their favorite part, they can finally have a test subject to experiment on..
If you choose to be by yourself or spend time with someone else, Floofty will respect your decision and watch you move from the microchip they implanted into you
They're very judgy with who you choose to be around, but as long as they don't hurt you or attempt a relationship with you, they'll allow you to speak to them
While always being stone faced, they will break from that mold if you are hurt or noticeably distressed They aren't good with emotions, but they try to understand so they can comfort you
They'll purposefully kill a grumpus if they have to.. Any grumpus that tries to or has hurt you is immediately on their "No Mercy" list
When discovering their obsession for you.. they thought it could be something they can study and manipulate to their will..
Everyday they would visit you with a tiny trinket or something you had shown interest in
If you confront Floofty about your missing friends, they'll try to keep you oblivious and suggest they simply moved away, no other reason
You would have to be the one to ask Floofty out, they.. would have trouble doing it and bail last minute They won't know how to react at first but they'll be happy and kiss you
As a couple, they would insist on being by your side for anything and everything, falling in love with you all over again
If you try to leave them, well.. They won't go down without a fight.
As of late, I've been researching dementia for a personal project of mine
And while researching, I decided to write a chapter to a Bugsnax fanfic I've been writing for awhile and add a dementia related chapter to show how much I learned
But then I got bored and made this, I wasn't planning on uploading it here but..whatever
Bro yesterday, I got diagnosed with anxiety disorder, got sent back to therapy for another 12 years, my mother explained I was a disappointment to the family and my best fucking friend tried to kill him self.  
And today my brother keeps complaining that I’m unfocused, unmotivated and not trying!
Sorry! Bro life is a lot to process rn!
trigger warning/////
you know when it’s late at night and the sudden urge to just. grab some razors and go ham ? like ,,,,, there’s some kind of comfort brought to me by blood, yknow?? i haven’t self harmed in like, a year? idk. but the sudden urges are still there, i can see them so clearly in my head and it takes so much not to go after them
I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.